Going Home
by dublin writer
Summary: This is a follow up sequel to my other story Going Under. While it can be read on its own, knowledge of that story is necessary to fully understand this one. It details Steve and Mike's trip to Modesto to help Steve come to terms with his tragic past. Disclaimer: The characters of SOSF belong to their creators, I merely borrow them for my enjoyment and hopefully those of others.
1. Chapter 1

**Going Home**

Chapter 1

**A/N : Firstly thank you to all those who very kindly said they would like to read a sequel to my story Going Under. As life is hectic at the minute I figured I would start writing the sequel but it will be a work in progress. I will try to update it as and when I can but as my other story is still ongoing too it will be challenging so I apologize if the updates take a while to complete. Here for the moment is the first chapter. I hope you all enjoy it.**

Mike spent what was left of the evening planning his and Steve's trip to Modesto. While on one hand he was anxious about how Steve would handle the trip back to his hometown after recent events and after the revelations of deep hurt he had experienced there as a child, at the same time he was kind of looking forward to the weekend aswell. Neither detective had taken any kind of leave for a considerable time and Mike felt that they had both earned a break and that they would both benefit from some downtime.

Mike also loved fishing and hadn't been for ages so he was looking forward to the peace and the harmony of his favourite sport and the prospect of teaching Steve the right way to fish. As he retrieved the fishing gear from the garage he smiled to himself. He had tried on many occasions to coax Steve to come fishing with him but on each occasion Steve had made an excuse or some reason why he couldn't join him. He knew Steve had no great love of the pastime but he did truly believe that on this occasion it would do the boy the world of good. After his near escape from the Bay, his hospital stay, his bad migraine attack and his recent upset, Mike reckoned the fresh air and the change of pace that only a fisherman could experience was better than any therapy Lenny could recommend. Nothing was more relaxing than sitting on a riverbank with a fishing pole waiting for a fish to bite and nothing tasted better than a fish cooked over a campfire at the end of a long day's fishing. Mike had taken Jeannie with him a few times as a little girl but now that she was all grown up, shopping held more excitement for his little girl these days than muddy riverbanks. He didn't mind though. They both still shared a great love of the Theatre, the Cinema and the Opera and spent plenty of enjoyable evenings in each other's company on her weekends home.

Coming out of his thoughts, Mike finished sorting all the fishing gear they would need and then went back into the house and packed a hold all bag with clothes and toiletries and his shaving gear. Then he made himself a sandwich and a cup of coffee and finally sat down in his living room to eat and have a well-earned rest. Once again he thought about the last few days and about all the things he had learned about Steve's past. He shuddered involuntarily as he once more pictured Steve as a young boy holding his beloved, deceased Grandfather in the pouring rain and his heart broke for the young man. He determined in that moment, that despite the painful but necessary reasons for their trip to Modesto, he would make it his business to make sure that Steve had an enjoyable weekend. He deserved one after all he had been through and Mike was going to make sure he had one! Then finishing his sandwich and coffee he picked up the phone and dialled Jeannie's number in Arizona and smiled broadly as her sweet, familiar voice answered.

"Hi Sweetheart! It's Mike. Listen are you sitting comfortably? Then I need to tell you something. Now, now don't go getting all concerned, I'm fine. Yes, so is Steve. JEANNIE! Will you listen to me honey? Something happened a few days ago and well, I just want to tell you about it, that's all " and as Jeannie listened carefully, Mike relaxed into the armchair and related to his daughter the last few day's events and told her about the trip they were about to take.

They chatted for over an hour. Mike told her about Steve's underwater rescue, how he had gotten the little girl to talk and his subsequent migraine attack but he didn't tell her of Steve's heartache as a child as he felt once more that it would be wrong to share such private details so recklessly without his permission at the very least. No, that story would be for another time and place and he felt that Jeannie would have to hear about those details from the young man himself if ever. Instead he told Jeannie that they had decided on their fishing trip to Modesto for R&R purposes and as an excuse for Mike to see where Steve grew up. While Jeannie was concerned about Steve after what she had just heard, she was pleased to hear that Steve and Mike were taking this trip together and was confident that her father would make sure that Steve would come back from it rested and recuperated. She wished them well and made him promise to call her when they got back to tell her all about their trip. Promising her he would, he said goodnight to his daughter and after they had said their usual goodbyes, Mike hung up the phone and decided that it was time for him to get to bed and get some sleep.

Mike felt tired, drained by the emotional impact of the day and satisfied that he had packed everything they needed for their trip he locked up, switched out the lights and went to bed. As he lay in bed , his thoughts once more turned to Steve. He wondered how he was and considered ringing the hospital to find out but thought better of it when he looked at his clock and saw that it was one o'clock in the morning. He hoped that Steve would not worry too much about the trip and that he would manage to get a decent night's sleep. With that last thought in his mind, Mike set his alarm clock for eight o'clock in the morning and settling down under the covers he drifted off into a restful sleep.

**Meanwhile...**

Back at San Francisco General, Steve had slept peacefully for another five hours after Mike left, the exhaustion he felt giving him little other choice, but when the nurse came in to check him at two o'clock in the morning he woke up as she checked his sore arm.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you " the night nurse spoke sincerely "I just have to change the heat pack on your arm. The swelling is almost gone. How is your headache?"

"It's gone thanks" Steve replied drowsily and watched as the nurse wrapped up his right arm again with the new heat pack.

Checking his vital signs and satisfied that all was as it should be the nurse wrote up the chart and left the room again, whispering before she closed the door fully.

"Try to go back to sleep now. It's only two am. The Doctor will be in to see you at around six."

Steve sighed and desperately tried to get back to sleep. But he wasn't that tired anymore. Having slept so long yesterday afternoon and more earlier he felt wide awake. His mind was racing and wouldn't stop. He was starting to regret agreeing to the trip to Modesto. He knew Mike thought it was a good idea and that Lenny in his professional capacity had thought so too but try as he might he couldn't think of one good thing about returning to Modesto. There were too many bad memories there that detracted from the good ones and he hated fishing! He had only agreed to it so as not to disappoint Mike and now he was worried. In his current fragile emotional state he wasn't sure how he would react to seeing Harry's place again, that's if it was even still there but he knew Mike had his heart set on it so he felt he would have to go through with it and manage the best he could. But as he lay back against the pillows and watched the moonlight stream through the blinds and bathe the hospital room in a silver glow, Steve knew it was going to be a long night.

And it was ... Steve tossed and turned over the next two hours. His mind tortured him as it dragged up all the events of the last three days in vivid detail and refused to let him rest. Giving up at four am Steve sat up gingerly in the bed and reaching into the locker he took out the box once more. Reaching up he turned on the light above his bed and this time he didn't hesitate but opened it up and took out the photos. Steve spent the next half hour looking through each one and remembering every single time those pictures were taken. Days fishing with his Grandfather, both of them working in Harry's vegetable garden, pictures of Steve's birthdays, his seventh one where Harry had bought him the most spectacular bicycle he had ever seen, pictures of Steve blowing out the candles on the cake Harry had made himself and others that made Steve smile but also made his heart break at the same time.

As he went through the photos, his fingers touched on the letter again. Knowing that he had to face a lot more over the next few days than just words written on a piece of paper, Steve forced himself to open the letter again and quietly, breathing raggedly, Steve read through the letter once more. It wasn't any easier to read the second time around and to Steve's annoyance and frustration he found himself getting upset again. Only this time he was alone and there was no-one to witness the tears that free fell down his cheeks as he once more grieved for the Grandfather he missed so much. Finally, managing to pull his emotions back together, and thankful for the peace that these early morning hours allowed, Steve refolded the letter with great care and replaced all the pictures and the letter back in the box. He then took out the ring and the pocket watch and held them for several minutes as more memories flowed through his mind.

He remembered the many times that his Grandfather had produced the watch out of his pocket to keep Steve forever on time. He closed his eyes as he could hear Harry's voice as clearly as if he were in that hospital room with him.

"Time for bed Steve! Look at the time kid, time for you to be getting off to school. I guess we have time for a hot chocolate and one more story before you go to sleep! What do you say kid? "Why aren't you asleep yet Steve? Don't you know what time it is? Time for dinner Steve. You better go wash up. Steve? ... Steve? ..."

Harry's voice suddenly faded and the voice sounded different. Someone was gently shaking his arm and startled, Steve jolted his eyes open and saw Dr. Armstrong standing over him looking concerned. Steve realized then that he must have dozed off and to his horror and embarrassment he knew he must look a sight. With red, possibly tear-stained eyes and still holding Harry's watch, Steve sat upright and tried to find the words that would explain his current state but couldn't find any so he rubbed at his eyes with his free hand instead.

"Steve? Are you ok? Is your headache back?" the Doctor asked concerned at finding Steve fitfully sleeping and mumbling something he couldn't quite make out when he had called in to check on him.

His eyes still looked red and sore but thankfully for Steve, the Doctor seemed to be still putting that down to the dreadful migraine he had suffered. However the young man in the bed was still shaking very slightly and was not responding to his questions as quickly as he would like him too. Taking his stethoscope from around his neck he proceeded to listen to Steve's heartbeat which again was a little fast for the Doctor's liking. Starting to believe that Steve was having flashbacks of the rescue again he questioned Steve some more.

"Steve? Were you having a nightmare? About the rescue? Your heart rate is fast and you're shaking."

Hearing the Doctor and knowing that he had to answer him if he wanted to get out of here later, Steve realized that the Doctor's question gave him a way out of having to explain his upset over Harry. So managing to find his voice he shakily answered.

"Yeah. Yeah I think so. I guess it's still haunting me a little. But ... I'm ok ... and my headache's gone ..."

Steve hoped he sounded convincing enough as he pulled the box over towards him and proceeded to put the ring and the watch carefully back into the box with a trembling hand. Unfortunately, Dr. Armstong was a very astute man and wasn't fully buying his explanation and watching him place the items back in the box he ventured further.

"Nice watch. Was that your Grandfather's Steve? My father had one just like it. May I see it?"

Steve grew apprehensive but not wanting to give away too much he agreed readily. Trying to control the shake in his hand and failing miserably he forced a false smile and handed the watch over to the Doctor.

"Sure. Here! Yeah, it was my Grandfather's. I think he got it from his father before him. He told me the story once."

Dr Armstrong studied the watch admiringly and at the same time was watching Steve's reaction to him looking at it from the corner of his eye and was secretly making his own conclusions based on the evidence he now had, as to what was upsetting his patient.

"It's real nice Steve. A real treasure to have" and handing the watch back to Steve he added "I guess this whole business with young Ruby Vaccaro really dragged up old times for you huh?"

Knowing then that the Doctor had sussed him out he became determined to overcome the current interrogation so feeling a new sense of courage he spoke more confidently as he placed the watch back in the box and closed it protectively.

"Yeah, I guess. But I can handle it! I'm ok Doc."

Dr. Armstrong eyed Steve up and down trying to figure the young man out. He knew Steve was a strong and competent police officer and he had witnessed him getting through some pretty tough cases over the time he'd been partners with Mike but as a Doctor, he also knew that everyone had a breaking point and he strongly felt that Steve had been close to his these last three days and he was genuinely worried about the young man in the bed. While Steve was feeling uncomfortable under the Doctor's stare he was determined not to show any weakness as he knew his getting out of the Hospital depended on it and Steve truly felt that he couldn't stick one more day in that room, as already the walls felt like they were closing in on him. So he stayed staring back at the Doctor and while it was only for a minute, it felt a lot longer to Steve. Dr. Armstrong admired Steve's resolve but he also knew in his heart that it was all an act so he spoke again.

"Steve! Listen. I'm your Doctor and you're right, you're in good physical shape. And I know you think you can cope with all this but I think you're struggling this time. I'll go as far as to say I know you are! Since you've been in here, the only proper sleep you've gotten is when I've sedated you. The night nurse said you've been awake again most of the night and you've hardly eaten anything at all in the last three days. I know you're not going to like this but I want to keep you another day for your own good!"

On hearing those words, Steve couldn't keep up his act any longer. The mere thoughts of being cooped up in that room one more day was too much to endure so immediately he pleaded.

"No! Doc! Anything but that! Ok. You're right I'm struggling this time but I'm dealing with it. You can ask Lenny or Mike! But sitting in this room another day is not going to help me get over it either. I need to get back to normal. Besides, Mike is taking me away for a fishing trip this weekend. Fresh air, rest and relaxation. Just what the Doctor ordered right? Please Doc ... just let me go home. I'll be ok and you know Mike. He's going to watch me like a hawk. What harm can I come to with him wrapping me up in cotton wool huh? "

Dr. Armstrong again seemed to study the young man closely, processing his latest plea.

"Are you going to eat something for breakfast for me?"

"Absolutely ... I'm actually feeling hungry."

"Hmmmm ..." the Doctor pondered once more." Ok ... Here's the deal. You eat something substantial and I'll talk to Lenny and Mike. If they agree with what you said I'll sign your release but if they have any doubts then you're staying one more day... Got it?"

"Ok ... " Steve agreed reluctantly feeling a little disheartened.

Truth was he wasn't feeling hungry at all and he knew eating enough to keep the Doc happy would be a challenge but at least he reckoned Lenny and Mike would tell the Doctor he was ok seeing as it was their idea for him to return to Modesto for the weekend in the first place so if he had to force himself to eat in order to get out of here then he would gladly do it!

"Right ... I'll send the nurse in and you can tell her what you'd like for breakfast and I'll give Lenny and Mike a ring. I'll check back in on you after you've eaten and let you know whether you're allowed home or not."

Seeing how dejected Steve looked he added.

"Look Steve, I'm not trying to keep you here indefinitely. I just need to know that if I let you out of here you're going to be able to sleep without having nightmares and that you're going to eat properly. How's the arm feeling? I better just check it before I go."

"It's a little sore but it feels better than it did." Steve admitted.

Dr. Armstrong unwrapped the heat pack and examined Steve's right arm. The swelling had gone down and the bruising had started to change colour which was a good sign. He got Steve to move his fingers and was satisfied that it was on the mend. Steve hadn't even flinched too much when he'd examined it.

"Well Steve, that arm is on the mend but it will be a little sore for a few days so just go easy with it for a while. I'll call back to you later. Try to rest and take it easy in the meantime."

And patting the young man's shoulder he turned and left the room. Steve waited until the door closed and then slowly he swung his legs off the bed and very slowly stood up. He was wary after the last time he had tried to walk around but this time he wasn't dizzy or wobbly on his feet so he walked more confidently to the window and looked outside at the still disappointing car park view. The sun had just begun to rise and the car park was bathed in early morning light. It looked like it was going to be a nice sunny day. Steve reckoned he just had to concentrate on getting out of here first and then he would worry about the difficult weekend ahead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Going Home**

Chapter 2

Steve was still staring out the window when the day nurse arrived into his room ten minutes later.

"Mr Keller! The Doctor requested that you get some rest. Would you please get back into bed and he wants you to eat something so what would you like for breakfast?"

Steve thought about arguing the fact that he was fed up of resting and that he wasn't hungry but the new day nurse didn't look like a force to be reckoned with. In her middle fifties, Steve reckoned, she had a no-nonsense manner and did not to seem to be in a very good mood so instead Steve returned to the bed and lay back down and asked if he could please have some toast and coffee.

"Dr. Armstrong specifically left instructions that toast and coffee was not substantial enough to suffice for getting you home so I will bring you some porridge too. Now please stay in bed until I bring you your breakfast young man." and with that she turned and left the room.

Steve could feel himself getting agitated. He didn't think he would be able to stomach something as heavy as porridge this morning and yet he knew the consequences if he didn't. He could feel his nerves getting the better of him and his breathing start to quicken. He reprimanded himself under his breath.

"Come on Steve! Pull yourself together. What's gotten into you? "

He hated feeling so out of control like this. Normally nothing phased him but over the last few days, the least little thing was getting to him and he hated it. He began to hope that Lenny was right and that the trip to Modesto would help him put these panic attacks behind him so he could get back to his usual way of dealing with whatever life threw at him.

By the time breakfast arrived a half an hour later Steve had worked himself up into a state and hadn't done his stomach any favours. He had already been feeling less than hungry but now the anxiety had his stomach in knots. The tray arrived with coffee, juice, porridge and a stack of toast that would have fed the whole squad room back at Bryant Street, Steve reckoned.

Steve was left alone with it. He sat up and tried to eat but by now the anxiety attack had a full hold on him and the smell of the food let alone the look of it had him feeling nauseous. He picked up the spoon and stirred the porridge and it was thick and lumpy and very unappetizing. Steve noted that it looked more like cement than oatmeal and again his stomach churned at the thoughts of swallowing it. He could feel himself breaking out in a cold nervous sweat but taking a spoon of it, he bravely closed his eyes and tried to will himself to eat it. He took a spoon of it and it tasted worse than it looked. Steve normally enjoyed porridge but this stuff had been made in industrial batches he reckoned for hospital quantities and he couldn't make himself believe that it was even fit for human consumption and yet his escape from this room depended on him finishing it.

He moved the spoonful of so-called porridge around his mouth tortuously but his throat refused to swallow it. He took a mouthful of juice to try to wash it down but it took the whole glass to just swallow that one spoonful and even then when he finally convinced his throat to swallow it his stomach protested and he gagged momentarily. He took a few mouthfuls of the coffee but knew there was no way he could stomach another mouthful of it so by now feeling distressed and not knowing what to do he reached over and picked up the phone beside his bed and rang the one person who he felt would understand.

As he rang De Haro Street, the phone rang and looking at his watch and seeing that it was just gone seven am, he prayed that Mike would answer. He mumbled anxiously under his breath.

"Come on Mike answer. Please answer!"

After just a couple of rings Mike's familiar and reassuring voice answered.

"Yeah, Stone!"

Steve had intended to speak calmly but instead the panic and anxiety he felt had other ideas and the words just poured out in a frenzied, helpless rant.

"Mike! Thank God! It's Steve. Listen, you've got to talk to Doc Armstrong for me. He wants to keep me in another day Mike! I can't stay here another day! This place is driving me nuts! Now he wants me to eat before I leave and I can't stomach it Mike. I tried ... I really did but it's terrible Mike! I can't swallow it ..."

Steve's voice broke and he felt himself getting upset and he cursed himself for sounding so pathetic. He stopped talking and tried to control his breathing and his emotions enough to continue but thankfully by then Mike had intervened.

Having been woken from a deep sleep by the ringing phone, Mike had picked up the receiver drowsily and had gotten a shock to hear Steve so panicked and upset on the other end. Sitting bolt upright in the bed he had listened to Steve's rant and was worried for the younger man. It was so unlike Steve to let things get to him like this and as he heard Steve's voice break and the ragged breathing that ensued during the silence Mike knew he had to calm him down and fast!

"Steve! Ok now. Take it easy. Calm down. It's alright now. Now listen to me carefully buddy boy ... I need you to take nice deep breaths and calm yourself down and then tell me what's happened nice and slowly. Ok? Can you do that?"

"Yeah ... ok Mike " Steve answered breathlessly and Mike could hear Steve breathing purposefully slower and allowed the young man a few moments to pull himself together before he spoke again.

"Ok Steve. You ok now?" Mike asked anxiously.

"Yeah ... I think so. Sorry Mike ... I ... I just ... Sorry ..."

"Ok now. Ok. It's alright. Now what were you saying about the Doctor? What did he say exactly Steve. Tell me slowly now ... in your own time ..."

Mike could hear Steve breathing deeply again but then he was relieved to hear that the boy spoke more calmly this time.

"The Doc said ... that I'm not eating or sleeping properly enough ... and that if I don't eat breakfast, he's going to keep me here another day ...but Mike..."

"Alright, alright, I understand. I know you want to get out of there but you have to try to stay calm Steve. If the Doctor sees you in a state he's not going to let you out. Ok?"

"Yeah ... yeah I know. You're right Mike. I'm sorry ... I don't what came over me! ... I think I'm losing it!"

"Now, now you're not losing anything. You're just stir crazy stuck in there and you're tired and you're stressed. You have nothing to be sorry for. Listen to me buddy boy. Is there anything on that breakfast tray that you feel you can eat?"

Steve looked at the tray and felt nauseous just looking at it. Mike could hear Steve swallowing hard during the few seconds silence that ensued and knew instinctively that Steve wasn't up to eating anything but still he waited patiently for Steve's response.

"No, Mike. I don't think so ..."

"Ok Steve. Listen. I'm going to come down there. I'll be with you in half an hour. In the meantime I want you to push the tray away from you. Ok? Then if you can get to the window, I want you to go over there and open it a little and get some fresh air. Then when you feel a bit better go back and lie down and rest until I get there. Can you do that for me?"

"Yeah ... ok Mike. But if I don't eat the Doc said ..."

Before he could finish Mike intervened.

"You let me worry about the Doc. Ok? I'll talk to him. We'll get you out of there later. Just do what I asked now and take it easy. And I'll be there soon. Ok buddy boy? Are you going to be ok?"

"Yeah ... I'll be ok, Mike. Thanks."

"Ok ... Hang in there buddy boy and I'll be there soon."

"Ok , I'll see you."

Steve hung up the phone and gladly pushed the tray towards the end of the bed. Then getting up he walked to the window and pulled it open slightly. There was a nice morning breeze coming off the sea and as it flowed through the open window, Steve took deep breaths of it and felt the nausea pass as it filled his lungs. After several minutes he returned to his bed leaving the window open to allow the fresh air to fill the room and he lay down and closed his eyes and prayed that the stern day nurse or the Doctor wouldn't return to lecture him for not eating before Mike got there.

Back at De Haro Street, Mike hung up and jumped quickly out of bed. He hadn't liked how Steve sounded at all. Steve hated hospitals as much as he did himself and anytime he had to stay in them he always got stir crazy after a while and would whine and continuously pester the older detective or Lenny to use their influence to get him out but today was more than just boredom. He sounded on edge and at the end of his tether. Mike strongly felt that once he got Steve out of the hospital, he would be able to coax him to eat and as they were going away for the weekend he would have ample opportunity to keep a close eye on his partner and make sure he got enough rest.

Mike dressed, washed and shaved quickly, anxious not to keep Steve waiting too long and within twenty minutes he was out the door and down the steps to his car. Climbing in, he set off for the fifteen minute drive to the Hospital. Luckily the traffic was light for a Saturday morning and Mike pulled into the car park of the Hospital at just a quarter to eight. Having parked the car, Mike headed into the Hospital and hurried up to Steve's room at breakneck speed. As he passed the nurses station, the day nurse spotted him and put a hand up to stop his progress.

"Can I help you Sir?"

"No, thank you. I'm just on my way to look in on my partner Steve Keller. I know which room he's in."

But as Mike smiled and went to continue down the corridor again, she once more blocked his way.

"I'm sorry Sir. But there really isn't any visitors allowed this early in the morning. The patients are having breakfast now but if you'd like to come back at about twelve I'm sure you can see him then."

Mike was trying to keep his cool but this nurse's attitude was starting to raise his hackles and knowing that Steve was waiting for him wasn't helping his patience any. However always a gentleman, Mike tried once more to politely explain to this over zealous nurse that his partner needed him.

"Now look Ma'am, I understand that you have rules to uphold but my partner in there needs me. You see he's been through a lot the last few days and well, quite frankly he doesn't tolerate hospital stays very well and Dr. Armstrong has been ok with me visiting him whenever I needed to. Now I'm sure a fine professional nurse like yourself with all your experience can understand that. What harm can it possibly do? Huh?"

Mike's charm normally worked on most people but this was one nurse who wasn't falling for it.

"Rules are rules Sir! And I'm sure a fine man like yourself with all YOUR years of experience can understand that! You can see him at twelve!"

Mike's smile faded and his face turned to thunder. Realizing that politeness wasn't going to work on this occasion Mike felt his temper rise.

"Now see here ... !"

Luckily before he had a chance to give the nurse a piece of his mind, a hand appeared on his shoulder and a voice interrupted.

"That's alright Mary. I'll take care of this. Mike here is allowed to visit Steve Keller. I can take it from here. Thank you."

Looking over his shoulder Mike saw Dr. Armstrong standing behind him. With that the nurse smiled sweetly at the Doctor.

"Very well Doctor. As you wish" and as she turned to leave she threw a murderous glare at the older detective who returned the Stone glare in return. Mike was still glaring after her as she left and Dr. Armstrong began to chuckle.

"Go easy on her Mike. Mary's alright. She runs a tight ship but she's an excellent nurse! So ... I didn't expect to see you this early. I couldn't help overhear you saying that Steve needed you. Is there something I should know about, Mike? You sure seemed to be in an awful hurry!"

Mike knew he was better off telling the truth.

"Ok, ok, he called me. He was a little uptight. He said you were talking about keeping him in another day. He also said you instructed him that he had to eat breakfast and ... well ... he said he couldn't stomach it!"

"I take it then that he hasn't eaten any of the breakfast?"

Mike shook his head and didn't catch the Doctor's eye.

"No ... I don't think so."

"He's not eating Mike! And he's only sleeping when he's medicated! I can't discharge him like that! " the Doctor argued animatedly.

"Look Doc, I know that. But didn't you say that bad migraines cause loss of appetite and if he is suffering from post traumatic stress then wouldn't that affect his sleeping too? Come on Doc, you know Steve as well as I do. After a couple of days in here he starts to climb the walls. Look, I'm taking him away for the weekend on a fishing trip. For the next few days I'll be watching him 24/7. I'll get him to eat and I'll make sure he sleeps. You have my word and you know my word is good. What do you say Doc? Huh? Come on! Let the boy out and I'll look after him."

Mike looked pleadingly at the Doctor and he could see the Doctor considering it. After a minute the Doctor answered.

"Ok Mike. You win. I guess I'm outnumbered anyway. I just got off the phone to Lenny Murchison and he concurs with you that being kept in here isn't doing him any good so I'll discharge him but I'm NOT happy about it. You need to keep a close eye on him Mike and he needs to eat and rest to get his strength back. I'll go and get his papers ready and you can take him home at nine but I want to check him over first before he leaves. Ok?"

"Sure Doc and thanks. Don't worry. He'll be ok. I'll see to it."

"I hope you're right, Mike. I really do. I'll get Mary to take away the breakfast tray " and with that he turned and headed back down the corridor leaving Mike standing there hoping he was right as well. Then he turned and headed down to Steve.

As he entered Steve's room he noticed that the young man was lying on the bed on his right side facing the window but as the door closed behind him, Steve startled and looked to see who had come in. He looked worried at first but then seeing that it was Mike he smiled and turned around and sat up.

"Mike! Are you a sight for sore eyes. Thanks for coming."

Then looking slightly embarrassed he swung his legs off the side of the bed and brushing a hand through his hair and rubbing the back of his neck nervously he added dejectedly " I'm sorry for calling you so early. I don't know what's happening to me Mike!"

Mike looked sympathetically at the young man in front of him and coming over and sitting on the bed beside him he placed a supportive hand on his shoulder.

"Now, now nothings happening to you! You've just had a harrowing few days that's all. Everything is going to be alright. You'll see. And will you please stop apologizing. None of this is your fault! "

Mike squeezed Steve's shoulder and then spotted the barely touched breakfast tray behind him. Looking disdainfully at the bowl of porridge, Mike picked up the spoon and stirred it and saw how thick and lumpy it was. Making a face, he spoke to Steve.

"Well, I can't really blame you for not eating that buddy boy! It looks like you could plaster walls with it. Huh?"

This made Steve chuckle.

"Don't remind me. I can still taste it ..."

"Looks like you could use some good news. Huh buddy boy?"

Steve looked at Mike hopefully and Mike continued.

"I had a talk with the Doc and he's letting you out of here. As a matter of fact we should have you out of here by nine o'clock. "

Steve's face almost lit up and he smiled from ear to ear.

"How? ... How did you manage that?"

"I just explained to him that we were going away fishing for the weekend and I promised him I'd get you to eat and make sure you got plenty of rest and he agreed to discharge you. Looks like Lenny put a good word in for you too."

"That's fantastic! Thanks Mike. I owe you one for this! I better start packing my things."

But as Steve enthusiastically got up to pack, Mike grabbed his left arm. Steve looked at him curiously.

"I'm glad you're happy to be getting out but you need to know that I intend to fulfill that promise buddy boy. Ok?"

Steve smiled and nodded.

"Ok ..."

Steve then got his hold all bag and started putting his belongings into it. Mike watched as he took the box containing his Grandfather's letter from out of the locker and placed it carefully into the bag. Just as he was packing the door opened and the nurse came in and picked up the tray. Steve looked at Mike and not at the nurse but could see her looking furiously at the untouched food on the tray out of the corner of his eye and she shot them both an angry glare as she turned and left the room. Mike began to laugh.

"If looks could kill buddy boy, I'd say we'd be dead right now!"

Steve laughed too.

"Yeah ... I think you're right!"

Steve finished packing and checked around to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything then checked his watch and saw that it was just twenty to nine.

"Got everything?" Mike asked.

"Yeah ... I think so."

Then the door opened again and Dr. Armstrong entered.

"Ok Steve. Let's just check you over one last time before you leave. Can you sit down for me please?"

Steve sat down on the bed and the Doctor proceeded to check Steve's vital signs one more time. Having taken his pulse, checked his breathing and his temperature, he spoke.

"Ok, everything seems fine. But as you haven't eaten much and after all the stress of the last few days, I'd wager that your blood sugar's probably on the low side so when you feel like eating, try to eat small amounts often and make sure you eat some fruit, drink orange juice and take some sugar in your tea or coffee just until you're eating normally again. And I'm giving you a prescription for sleeping pills just in case, although I hope you won't need them. Ok Steve?"

"Sure Doc! And thanks for everything." Steve answered shaking the Doctor's hand.

The Doctor smiled at Steve.

"You're welcome! You can sign the papers on your way out. You're free to go. Enjoy your weekend and take it easy and stay out of trouble this time young man! Doctor's orders!"

Steve nodded and chuckled.

"Ok. I'll do my best!"

The Doctor went to leave and as he passed Mike, he patted his shoulder.

"He's in your hands Mike! Good luck! "

Mike nodded appreciatively.

"Thanks, I think I might need it!"

Steve couldn't seem to wait any longer and Mike chuckled again, as the door had no sooner closed behind Dr Armstrong when Steve grabbed his jacket and his bag and was heading for the door too.

"Well come on Mike!" Let's go before he changes his mind!"

As he opened the door and held it for Mike, Mike was still laughing.

"Oh buddy boy! Something tells me this is going to be some weekend!"

And patting Steve's shoulder the two men headed down the corridor to sign Steve's release papers and pick up his prescription.


	3. Chapter 3

**Going Home**

Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you to all those who have read and reviewed so far. Here is the next instalment hopefully for your enjoyment.**

Mike had seen Steve on many occasions anxious to leave hospitals but there was something more on edge about him today. They were both grateful to see a young nurse at the nurse's station desk and no Mary in sight. Mike watched him closely as he signed his discharge papers and put his prescription in his inside jacket pocket and thanking the nurse he was already heading down towards the elevators at high-speed. Mike had to almost jog to keep up with him and as Steve impatiently pressed the elevator button more times than was necessary, Mike caught up with him and grabbed his right arm gently, noting that it was still annoying him, as he was carrying his bag in his other hand.

"Hey, hey. Take it easy buddy boy! Will you slow down? Remember what the Doc said about your blood sugar? Ok?"

Steve looked at Mike and nodded, knowing he was right but his nerves were on edge and he wasn't sure why.

"Sorry, Mike. You're right. I just want to get out of here, that's all."

Mike studied his partner closely as he turned back to wait for the elevator to arrive. He seemed very out of sorts and Mike felt worry grip his heart. One of Steve's strong points was his ability to stay calm in all situations but this current trauma had really rattled him and he began to fear what the coming weekend would do to his already shaken demeanour.

The elevator arrived and they made their way down to the Ground floor and although Steve appeared to be trying to slow himself down, he was still moving faster than Mike would have liked and he didn't stop until he exited the front double doors and stood at the top of the steps. As Mike exited a step behind him he saw Steve drop his bag on the ground and he seemed to be standing and savouring the bright morning sunshine that lit up his face and the fresh sea breeze that was blowing in from the Bay. Coming up beside him Mike saw him standing with his eyes closed and he noted thankfully that he seemed more relaxed than he had been inside. Sensing that Mike was watching him he spoke.

"Oh man! Sunshine and fresh air!"

"Feels good huh?"

Steve opened his eyes and smiled at Mike.

"Oh yeah ... "

"Ok, hotshot. Let's get you home. I'm just parked down the road a little."

Steve picked up his bag again and they made their way to the car. Mike insisted on driving and within fifteen minutes they had pulled up outside Steve's apartment on Union Street. The two men hadn't talked much on the journey home. Steve had rested his head against the back of the seat and had his eyes closed for most of the journey, his restless night obviously catching up on him. Mike couldn't tell if he was actually asleep or just resting his eyes but just in case he was catching forty winks, he hadn't spoken to disturb him. It was only when Mike had parked the car that Steve had sat up alert and looked out the window to see where they were. Then getting out he retrieved his bag and was already heading up the steps, before Mike had exited the driver's side.

Locking the car, Mike headed up the steps quickly after his partner and noticed as Steve reached the top step and reached into his jacket pocket for his keys he had wobbled a little. Mike reached out and steadied the young man.

"Hey, watch it now. I told you! You need to slow down. You've been cooped up in that hospital room for three days. You need to take things slower."

Then taking the keys from him, he opened the door and steered Steve inside by the elbow and into the living room. Noting that Steve was still very quiet and shaking a little, he reckoned he was also feeling light-headed by his demeanor, so he guided him over to the couch.

"Lie down, buddy boy. And don't even think about arguing with me! You look like hell. I'm going to see if you have anything sugary to eat or drink. We need to get your blood sugar up. Do you have any orange juice do you think?"

Steve lay down and pulled a cushion up under his head. With his eyes still closed because he didn't want to admit to Mike that the room was spinning alarmingly, he answered.

"I don't think so Mike, but I think there are a couple of sodas in the refrigerator."

Mike went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. He smiled to himself. It was almost empty except for a couple of sodas, two beer bottles, some milk that looked slightly dubious and some cheese that had seen better days! He picked out a soda and poured some into a glass from the cupboard and brought it into Steve. The young man was still in the same position he left him in. Shaking his shoulder gently he spoke.

"Come on buddy boy, sit up and drink some of this. It will make you feel a little better."

Steve did as he was told and sat up and drank what Mike gave him and then Mike continued.

"Looks like your cupboards are bare buddy boy! No wonder you haven't got a pick on you! There's not enough out there to feed a mouse and a small one at that! Don't you ever grocery shop?"

Steve chuckled at the older man's observations.

"Yeah, of course I do. I just haven't had the chance lately. I was supposed to pick up stuff during the week until I took an impromptu dive in the Bay. Remember?"

Mike smiled.

"Ok, ok I believe you. Listen, I want you to take it easy and drink the rest of that soda. I'm going to go pick up some groceries so I can fix us something to eat. I won't be long. Alright?"

At the mention of food Steve made a face which he quickly masked again but Mike being ever observant had seen the face and knew he was going to have difficulty getting his partner to eat something.

"Now, don't worry. I'll just fix us something light ok? But you have to eat! And I promise I won't buy any oatmeal. Ok?" Mike added to try to raise a smile from the young man.

Mike's effort paid off and once again Steve chuckled.

"Good! I never want to see oatmeal again for the rest of my life!"

It was good to see him smile and laugh and Mike vowed in that instant that he would do everything in his power to make sure he did more smiling than anything else while they were in Modesto.

"Ok. Promise me now you'll take it easy while I'm gone or should I handcuff you to that couch just to be sure! "

Again Steve laughed

"No. That won't be necessary ... I'll take it easy."

"Alright, see you in a bit. Oh and give me your prescription and I'll get that filled too while I'm out."

"No Mike" Steve protested." I don't need sleeping pills!"

"Come on, better to have them just in case. Hand it over!"

Steve reluctantly reached into his pocket and handed Mike the prescription downheartedly. Wanting to cheer him up Mike quickly added.

Would you like me to get you anything else in particular?"

"Yeah, could you get me some sunflower seeds Mike please?"

"Well, I was kind of thinking of something a little more substantial buddy boy but ok, if that's what you want."

As he got to the door he popped his head back around.

"Do you need a blanket? Are you cold?"

"NO MIKE! ... You do know if you're going to fuss like this all weekend, you're going to drive me crazy, don't you?"

Mike smiled his broadest smile.

"Well, then you're going to have to get used to being a little bit crazy! I promised the Doc I'd look out for you and you know I'm a man of my word. Unless ... you'd rather go back and have the lovely Mary keep an eye on you?" Mike added teasingly.

"NO! ... definitely not! If that's my only two choices, I can handle a little fussing once you don't get too carried away!"

Mike laughed.

"Well, I'll try not to get carried too far! Try to sleep a little and don't forget ..."

"I KNOW MIKE! Drink the soda. I got it! "

"Ok, I'll see you in a bit."

And with that Mike left, not wanting to push his luck with his partner any further for now and as the front door closed Steve was grateful of the peace and solitude. He really hoped Mike wasn't going to fuss too much. He knew he meant well and it was nice to know that someone cared about him but there was very little he hated more than fuss, except needles maybe he remembered, as his right arm still ached a little and the back of his left hand still looked all the colours of the rainbow.

He closed his eyes and tried to sleep but after tossing and turning for several minutes he gave up. Sitting up he drank more of the soda that Mike had given him and getting up slowly he went outside to the hall table and picked up the mail that had accumulated during his few days in the hospital. Then returning to the couch he sat down and began opening the various letters. There was nothing of interest there, mostly junk mail and bills so spotting his hold all bag he decided to start packing for their trip instead. He didn't know how long Mike would be but the nearest grocery store wasn't far away so he reckoned he wouldn't be that long. He just hoped he wouldn't get anything too filling as his stomach somersaulted even at the thought of having to swallow more food. He didn't want to catch a lecture for not resting so he quickly brought the bag into the bedroom and emptied its contents onto the bed.

The last thing that tumbled out was the small box of photos and Steve sighed and sat down on the bed. He thought about the weekend they had in store and once again regretted agreeing to it. Maybe he could talk Mike out of it. He really didn't feel up to facing all those long-buried memories up close and personal and with his stomach acting up and exhaustion wearing him down he didn't even feel up to the two hour drive, it would take to get there. He really wanted to talk to Mike when he got back and maybe convince him to postpone their trip until he felt a bit stronger but he knew Mike was looking forward to the weekend and he knew the older detective hadn't taken any leave in a long while and probably could do with the break away even more than he could, so he suddenly felt torn in half. Feeling suddenly drained of energy he pushed the contents from his bag over a bit and lay down on the bed and rubbed his face with both hands and tried to decide what to do but his head felt so messed up and he couldn't make sense of anything. His bed sure felt good though and compared to the hard antiseptic smelling pillows he had to endure down at San Francisco General, his own pillow felt soft and comforting. He found himself turning on his right side and settling down and for the first time in the last three days he felt comfortable and relaxed.

The early morning sun was streaming through the window and the rays hit Steve's bed and lit up the small box, which caught Steve's eye. He reached down without disturbing the comfortable position he was in and brought the box up beside him. He stared at the box almost willing it to speak to him, desperately wanting to hear Harry telling him what he should do but instead of getting the answers he wanted, his eyelids grew heavy and with his hand still on the box he fell asleep.

Mike had just taken the bones of an hour to complete his errands. First he went to the grocery store and picked up a few things. He just got enough for a quick meal as he reckoned they would be away for the best part of four days so there was no point in stocking up Steve's refrigerator but he did make a mental note to make sure that he stocked Steve's cupboards when they got back. The boy didn't eat enough! Then he headed to the drugstore and filled Steve's prescription. Just before he headed back, Mike headed to the fishing bait and tackle shop and picked up some live bait for their weekend's fishing and stopped off at a phone booth to make a call to Modesto to arrange something he had meant to do earlier before he had gotten the panicked call from Steve. With the arrangements made and the errands completed, Mike drove back to Union Street.

As he entered carrying the brown paper bag of groceries, he placed it on the hall table and walked into the living room.

"I won't be long getting us something to eat. I hope you managed to get some rest while I was ..."

Mike stopped mid sentence as he saw the couch empty and no sign of Steve. His heart quickened as he began to worry and then as he quickly searched the kitchen and the bathroom he finally got to the bedroom and saw Steve asleep on the bed. Sighing with relief he walked in and studied the scene. He saw the hold all bag emptied on the bed and then he noticed what Steve was holding. The box looked very close to the edge of the bed so reaching carefully over he gently pulled the box out from under Steve's hand to place it on the locker but Steve was a light sleeper and jolted awake as his hand fell onto the bed. Looking around sleepily he saw Mike and rubbed at his eyes.

"Sorry, buddy boy. I didn't mean to wake you. You go back to sleep while I fix us something to eat. "

But Steve had already sat up.

"No, no it's ok. I think I'll go have a shower and freshen up instead." Steve said drowsily still trying to clear the sleep from his eyes.

"You ok?" Mike asked placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm ok. I was going to start packing but I didn't get very far ..." Steve answered sheepishly, smiling ashamedly at the messy pile of stuff on his bed as he stifled a yawn. "I forgot how good my bed felt after that hard hospital bed!"

Mike smiled back.

"I can see that!" and then he added." That's alright. You go and shower and I'll fix some food and then I'll give you a hand packing your bag. Ok? "

And as he left the bedroom he shouted back.

"Oh and Steve! Don't lock the bathroom door! Just in case you go keeling over in there!"

Steve rolled his eyes to heaven and knew it was going to be a VERY long weekend!

Ten minutes later Mike was fixing some ham and cheese omelettes in the kitchen while Steve stood under the warm spray of the shower in the bathroom and let the hot water wash over him and revive him somewhat. Then after a good few minutes he stepped out, dried off and put on a bath robe. The hot shower had steamed up the bathroom and Steve wiped the condensation off the mirror and proceeded to shave himself at the bathroom sink.

The omelettes were almost ready to serve so Mike went off to see if Steve was finished. Approaching the bathroom door he saw it slightly ajar and steam was curling through the open part. He smiled to himself and as he couldn't hear the shower he reckoned Steve was done. Knocking gently on the door he called in.

"Steve! The food is almost ready. Are you almost ready?"

"Yeah. I'm just shaving. "

Mike pushed the door open and saw Steve at the bathroom sink. The room was still quite steamed up and Mike laughed.

"Were you having a shower or a sauna in here?"

Steve laughed.

"I was feeling a little cold so I had the water on hot."

"Well, I wouldn't need to be a detective to work that one out. Did you warm up?"

"Yeah ... "

"Ok, finish up. Food will be on the table in ten minutes. Don't let it go cold now!"

Steve nodded and turned his attention back to the task at hand. After standing in the shower for so long he was feeling a little light-headed again and a little shaky so shaving himself was proving challenging. As he ran the razor across his chin he nicked himself.

"Ouch!" he yelped as he grabbed a small piece of toilet paper to stem the bleeding.

"Nice one Steve !" he chastised himself as he viewed what damage had been done. Then he finished up, got dressed and arrived into the kitchen just in time to see Mike dishing up the food.

"Something smells nice" Steve said politely but his stomach was protesting already. It was churning, almost forewarning him of the consequences of eating whatever Mike had made.

"Well sit down buddy boy. I just did some nice light ham and cheese omelettes. Jeannie's favourite. I hope that's ok? You have eaten my omelettes before haven't you?"

Steve had, and they were always delicious but today even though they looked and smelt a whole lot better that what he had been served at the hospital, he didn't have the appetite to stomach them. However Mike had gone to a lot of trouble so he was determined to not disappoint the older man.

Forcing a broad smile he answered.

"Yes I have. You make a great omelet Mike! Thanks. Looks fantastic!"

Mike was pleased to hear Steve say that and placing the two plates down on the table he then poured some coffee for both of them. Steve watched in horror as Mike spooned two large spoons of sugar into his cup.

"Hey, hey! Easy on the sugar Mike!"

"You heard the Doc buddy boy. You have to keep your blood sugar up!"

"Yeah, I heard. But I don't think I have to drown in it!"

Mike chuckled at Steve's protests. Hearing his partner complaining again meant that he must be feeling a little better at the very least even though he still looked pale and tired. Mike sat down opposite Steve and noticed the cut on his chin.

"You have an argument with your razor, buddy boy?"

Steve was busy thinking about how he was going to manage to eat all the omelette on his plate and realized he hadn't heard what Mike had said. So looking at the older man he asked.

"Sorry ... what was that?"

Mike pointed to Steve's chin and repeated his question.

"I was just asking if you had a disagreement with your razor?"

Steve smiled. "Yeah ... something like that."

Mike started to eat. He hadn't realized how hungry he was until he started eating. He watched Steve pick up his knife and fork and said animatedly.

"Well, tuck in my boy! It's good for what ails you, as my old Dad used to say!"

Steve had been just about to put the first fork full of food in his mouth when he heard what Mike said and he paused momentarily and looked thoughtful. Seeing Steve's reaction, Mike spoke again.

"Did I say something wrong Steve?"

"No, no you didn't. It's just that ... Harry used to say that. It just brought me back ... that's all." and with that he put the food in his mouth and chewed it.

The two men ate in silence for a while. Mike happily wolfed his down hungrily but Steve was eating more slowly and had managed to consume a little over half of it. Despite his stomach's protests he was still continuing to eat more and every time he washed it down with the coffee, he made a face at the intense sweetness of it. Mike had emptied his plate and put down his cutlery. He watched Steve and could see that he was struggling to finish it but didn't want to stop him when he was at least trying to eat it. Deciding that now might be the time to broach the subject he spoke nervously.

"Steve, I rang the realtor in Modesto today. The one who sold your Grandfather's place. Turns out the place is still there. It has been kept by the same owner for the last fifteen years but it's in a state of disrepair. Anyway I asked him if he could arrange for the owner to let us view it ... I explained the circumstances and he said that there shouldn't be a problem. He said he'd contact the owner and ring me back at around one o'clock today so we need to be back at my place by then."

Mike finished talking and watched for Steve's reaction. When Steve heard that Harry's place was still there and that Mike was arranging for them to see it, his heart had started pounding in his chest. A distinct lump had formed in his throat and he was certain now that he wouldn't be able to swallow another mouthful. So much for him getting Mike to postpone the trip now. He forced a smile at Mike and continued to chew the food that was still in his mouth although inwardly he was panicking about how he was going to swallow it. He didn't want to speak with his mouth full so he took another large mouthful of the awfully sweet coffee and swallowed painfully, forcing the food down his throat. Then nervously he answered.

"Wow! You have been busy. That's ... that's great Mike. Thanks."

Steve had tried to sound sincere but wasn't sure if he pulled it off. Looking down at the rest of the food left on his plate, he pushed it around with his fork but couldn't bring himself to pick up any more. Mike had noticed a nervousness to Steve's demeanour at the mention of Harry's place and also noticed his sudden loss of appetite and began to regret mentioning it. He had seen Jeannie as a young girl, many times, pushing food around her plate when she didn't want anymore and Steve's current food arranging was reminding him of those times so reaching over he stilled Steve's hand and asked sincerely.

"You struggling with that?"

Steve was almost glad that Mike had noticed his difficulty as it meant he didn't have to make excuses and so he answered rather sheepishly.

"That obvious huh? Yeah ... a little. It was delicious Mike. It's just that my appetite's not fully back yet. I'm ... sorry."

Mike smiled at Steve to show him there was no hard feelings.

"That's ok. You ate over half! I didn't expect you to eat even that much. Listen why don't you go and start packing and I'll wash these up and come and help you. It's eleven thirty now so we should make it back to my place in time for that phone call. Ok?"

"Ok ... Mike what's the plan for later? What time are we heading to Modesto at?"

"Well I figured we might head off at around three if that's ok from my place? I have my stuff already packed so we just have to pack the car when we get there. Why do you ask? Are you getting cold feet?"

Steve stared at Mike and thought about saying yes but he really didn't want to disappoint the older man so instead of what he wanted to say he answered instead.

"No ... I just wondered " but as he got up and reached the kitchen door he turned back and asked "Mike? Did they say who bought ... Harry's place?"

"No. They wouldn't say. Just that it has been owned by him since it went up for sale all those years ago. I guess we'll meet him tomorrow if the realtor can pull it off. Huh?"

"Yeah, yeah I guess we will. Thanks for the food." And then as he shot another forced smile at Mike he turned and went into the bedroom as he heard Mike clear the dishes into the sink. He closed the door behind him and felt the anxiety build within him again. He felt his breathing quicken and the nausea build. He closed his eyes and tried to slow his breathing but all that did was conjure up images of how Harry's place would look, neglected, overgrown and forgotten.

"Pull yourself together Steve! Pull yourself together!" he mumbled under his breath as he forced himself to move shakily away from the door to start packing but all the while he wondered how he was ever going to cope with this weekend at all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Going Home**

Chapter 4

By the time Mike had washed up the dishes, Steve had managed to pack most of his things. He wasn't really sure if he had what could be considered fishing clothes but he packed the same type of casual clothes that he would normally take on his skiing trips, so he put in two pairs of jeans and some casual shirts and he threw in a sweater or two and some polo neck tops as he knew Modesto could be cold this time of year in the evenings. He packed toiletries and his shaving gear and he made sure his migraine pills were in just in case although he sure hoped he wouldn't be needing them again for a long while to come. While he had managed to calm his breathing down, his heart was still racing slightly and his stomach was trying its best to make Steve dispel what he had forced into it earlier. It was churning and somersaulting and waves of nausea hit him every now and then and he had to breathe through them. So far he was managing to keep everything down but he truly didn't know how long he could keep it up as each time the nausea hit him it was stronger than the previous time.

Just as he had managed to breathe through a particularly nasty bout of nausea, Mike knocked on the bedroom door.

"Steve? You ok in there?" Mike asked slightly worried at finding the door closed.

Steve hoped that he could hide his discomfort from Mike and grabbing a tissue from a box on the bedside locker he wiped the thin sheen of cold sweat off his face and shouted out.

"Yeah ... Come in! I'm just packed."

Mike opened the door and entered the room and saw Steve standing at the bedside, zipping up his bag. He had his back to Mike but there was something about him that concerned Mike and although he couldn't quite put his finger on it, his gut instinct was ringing alarm bells loud and clear.

"Well, that was fast! You sure you have everything you need for a weekend away?" Mike asked using the question as an excuse to study his partner more closely.

Mike knew Steve very well and was an expert at reading body language, a talent that helped him greatly both at work and in reading his, at times, not very verbal partner. He knew that if Steve refused to catch his eye that he was covering up something as Steve was aware of Mike's body language reading skills too but if he looked at him then he was worrying for nothing. True to Mike's fears, Steve remained with his back to Mike and answered.

"Yeah ... I think so" was all he said and he started to put away the stuff he had emptied onto his bed earlier that he didn't need for this trip.

He picked up the box and felt his emotions fray. Mike saw his hesitation and moved forward and placing a hand on the young man's shoulder, he spoke softly and kindly.

"Are you going to bring that with you?"

As he asked the question he leaned his head forward and looked casually at Steve's face. There was no sign of upset but he felt slightly trembly under Mike's hand and he was breathing deeper than he reckoned, without being a medical professional, he should be. Steve was staring at the box and knowing that Mike was looking at him only served to unnerve him even more however he managed to bring his mask down with greater difficulty than he normally would and he replied.

"I don't know if I should or not! What do you think?" and he half glanced sideways at Mike almost desperately wanting him to tell him if he should or not.

Mike took the box out of Steve's hands gently and squeezed his shoulder at the same time.

"Sit down a minute buddy boy." Mike said encouraging Steve to sit down on the bed and sitting beside him still holding the box.

Again he seemed to be studying Steve closely trying to judge what was going on in his head. Steve sensed it too and it was making him very uncomfortable. He could feel his steely mask slipping and the nausea was threatening to surface again as he desperately tried to control the distinct tremble in his hands by grasping then both together. Mike was taking what seemed like a lifetime to speak and Steve prayed that he would just say whatever it was that he knew he was building up to asking. Thankfully his prayers were answered as Mike continued.

"If you're not sure then maybe it's better to bring it anyway. Huh? Steve? Are you ok with this trip? Are you worried about it? Would you rather we not go?"

Mike couldn't have asked a worse question. Steve didn't want to disappoint Mike and wanting to put this whole thing behind him, he trusted Lenny that he knew professionally that the trip to Modesto would do just that, but every fibre of his being wanted to scream out that he would rather walk over hot coals right now than go to Modesto. Steve was taking too long to answer and Mike was getting concerned. Steve looked down at his lap and felt really sick all of a sudden. He felt slightly dizzy and he put a hand up to his face to mask his discomfort. He started to shake and Mike flew into action.

"STEVE! Whats the matter? Talk to me buddy boy!"

The colour had physically drained from Steve's face and he had turned a deathly shade of white. He heard Mike speaking but it sounded as if it was from a distance rather than from right beside him. Mike decided that he needed to get him lying down as he looked like he might pass out. Thankful that they were sitting on Steve's bed he put down the box he had been holding and grabbed Steve's shoulders and lay him back against the pillows and then swung his legs up on the bed using his hold all bag as a means to raise them. He then ran to the bathroom and taking out his handkerchief he wetted it with cold water and ran back to Steve and placed it on his forehead. Again he tried to get Steve to answer.

"Steve! Come on now! Talk to me. Are you ok?"

Lying down with his feet raised and the cool compress had brought him around a little so he stammered.

"Yeah ... s-s-sorry Mike. Just f-f-felt strange ... for a minute ..."

"Ok ... just take it easy. You probably just did too much. All that racing around earlier and then the shower and the packing. Just breathe nice and slow. You'll be ok in a minute."

Mike didn't know who he was trying to convince, Steve or himself but he felt that Steve was coming around. After a few minutes Steve felt better although the nausea remained overwhelming but he didn't want to let on to Mike so he didn't say anything. He sat up slowly despite Mike's protests and spoke to him as normally as he could.

"I'm ok now Mike. You're right ... I just overdid things. I feel better now. Sorry. What were you asking me?"

"I was asking you if you were up to this trip but I think I just got my answer! Steve, I don't think you're up to this! I think we should cancel! "

While deep inside Steve was relieved by Mike's words, he also remembered the reason for the visit in the first place and the fact that Mike would benefit from it too. He had to stop being selfish and just thinking of it from his own perspective so suddenly getting a spark of determination from God knows where, he bravely fought back the rising nausea and spoke confidently.

"Absolutely not ! We're all packed and good to go. Besides I'm not going to miss seeing you in action with that fishing rod of yours. I'll finally get to see if you're as good as you say you are. I just felt a bit dizzy that's all. I'm fine now. Let's not waste any more time. Let's just lock up and go. Ok?"

Steve amazed himself as to where he found this new-found courage and was equally astonished at how the words had just flowed from him freely. He stood up, taking extra care not to stumble and give away the true unsteadiness that he felt deep within him and looked confidently at Mike. Mike had not replied and was desperately trying to figure out if he was truly feeling better or putting his usual brave face on things. He definitely seemed ok but he was still very white in the face and there was something else, something he couldn't quite figure, that was off with the young man's demeanour. Standing up beside him, still himself a little shook from the incident he spoke candidly.

"Are you sure? You're not just saying that for my benefit? Because if you are ... "

Steve stopped him mid sentence and added strongly.

"No. I'm not Mike. Come on let's get going. Otherwise we're going to miss that phone call you're expecting."

Mike decided that he would go along with the young man but he was going to keep an extra close eye on him just in case!

"Alright, ok. But you're going to sit in the living room and drink more of that soda while I put your bag in the car and lock up. Ok hotshot?"

Steve nodded, actually grateful at not having to prove himself much longer as the act was wearing thin. Mike guided Steve into the couch and sat him down and handed him the glass of soda. Then returning to Steve's bedroom he put the box carefully into Steve's bag and zipped it up again and headed out the front door to place the bag in the trunk of his car. As soon as the door closed and he heard Mike descend the steps he got up and crossing the living room as quickly as he felt he could after his dizzy spell, he poured the rest of the soda into a potted plant that stood in the corner and returned to his seat. He hated deceiving Mike but the way his stomach felt right now it would only take one mouthful of anything or one wrong smell or sight to send him over the edge. He prayed the nausea would just let up and leave him be but until it did he had to keep fighting it as best he could.

Mike returned and came into Steve. Seeing the glass empty he took it from Steve.

"Good. That should help!"

And he then brought the glass into the kitchen and then making sure everything was secure the two men locked up Steve's apartment and headed down to Mike's car. Mike stayed close to Steve in case he felt dizzy again on the steps but they made it down without incident. Steve sat into the passenger seat and Mike got in the driver's side. Steve was awfully quiet and Mike stared at him briefly before he started up the engine, pulled out and turned the car around and headed for De Haro Street.

For the first time that he could remember Steve cursed the many hills and bumps they drove over on the way to Mike's house. They never ever bothered him but today with every bump they went over, Steve's stomach contents were reaching the back of his throat and travelling back down again. By the time they reached Mike's house Steve was ready to throw up. He was desperately trying to stop himself and was swallowing the bile that was rising in his throat.

A neighbour of Mike's passed by and the older man stopped Mike and passed the time of day with him. Steve just wanted to get inside as quickly as possible as he feared the worst, so he politely interrupted the lively conversation.

"Sorry! Excuse me Mike. Can we go inside please?"

Mike shot a worried look at Steve noting a certain urgency in the young man's voice. Fearing that he might be feeling dizzy again he quickly said goodbye to his neighbour so that he could get the young man inside. Remembering something that was still in the boot and not wanting Steve to tackle the steps without being a step behind him he yelled after Steve.

"Steve hold up! I just need to get something from the car!"

Steve stopped on the steps and watched as Mike retrieved a clear plastic container from the boot but couldn't make out what was in it. As Mike reached him they ascended up to Mike's front door and as Mike got the keys to open up, he handed the container to Steve to hold temporarily.

"Here hold this for a second will you?"

Steve took the container and almost dropped it when he saw that it was filled with dozens of wriggling worms!

"Mike! You use live bait for fishing?"

As Mike opened the door, he answered.

"Didn't Harry use live bait?"

"No, he used lures."

"I'm telling you buddy boy, live bait is the best way to catch fish. Why these little beauties are going to catch us the best trout that Modesto has to offer. They're red wigglers and night crawlers. Here let me show you?"

"No, that's ok. Just take them will you?"

"What's the matter? You're not squeamish about a few worms are you?"

Normally Steve wouldn't have cared but there was something about the squirming creatures that was turning his stomach and he desperately wanted to be rid of them. Handing the box abruptly to Mike, Mike chuckled thinking that Steve had a dislike of the worms not thinking for one second that he was actually on the verge of throwing up because of them. Caught up in his love of fishing he did the worse thing he could have done without realizing. He opened the lid to explain which worm was which and the sight of them and the smell was the last straw for Steve as he felt himself gag and to his horror he knew he could fight it no longer.

Steve's skin colour turned from white to a tinge of green in seconds and covering his mouth Steve turned and ran to Mike's bathroom. Mike put the lid back on quickly, alarmed by Steve's sudden reaction and putting it down and shutting over the front door he quickly ran after Steve. When he reached the bathroom he heard Steve violently throwing up. The door was ajar so he followed him in. Poor Steve was in a bad way and Mike knelt beside him and rubbed his back. The heaving stopped several minutes later and Steve was shaking and was highly embarrassed at not being able to prevent this purge that looking back now he felt all along had been inevitable. As a matter of fact Steve reckoned that fighting it for so long had only made it much worse. His stomach and throat burned and he instinctively curled a hand around his sore midsection and refused to catch Mike's eye. Mike felt guilty, reckoning that the sight of his live bait had caused this reaction and cursed himself for his oversight.

"Steve! I'm sorry! I shouldn't have given you the live bait to hold. This is all my fault! Are you ok now?"

Not wanting Mike to feel guilty , he decided that full disclosure was in order so he replied shakily.

"No, no it wasn't that Mike! I've felt sick since earlier. I just didn't want to say anything after you went to the trouble of cooking food. I'm sorry Mike. I should have said something ... "

Hearing this, realization dawned on Mike. That was what had been so off about him. Of course it made sense now in hindsight but again Mike cursed himself for not working it out earlier.

"Steve! You have to be honest with me and tell me how you're feeling or I can't help you! "

"I know, I know ... I'm sorry. I really tried to keep it down Mike but it wouldn't go away. "

Mike thought about the last few hours and the fact that Steve had tried the whole time to stop himself being sick, putting a brave face on it even despite the bumpy ride here and felt annoyed with himself for not noticing and questioning him. Steve had started shivering and Mike felt that sitting here on the cold tiled floor wasn't ideal so he spoke to the sick young man again.

"Steve, you're getting cold. Let's get you into the couch and you can lie down for a bit ok?"

But Steve protested. While he was feeling chilled, he still felt awfully sick and while he reckoned he had emptied his stomach he didn't feel confident leaving the bathroom just yet.

"No, Mike. Just leave me here for another minute. I ... still feel sick."

"Come on now. You've nothing left to be sick with. You'll feel better if you go lie down. If it makes you feel better I'll get you a basin?"

Steve wasn't convinced that was the best move but he allowed Mike to help him up from the floor all the same and soon Mike had him lying on the couch with a blanket over him and a basin beside him. He felt truly lousy and the bout of vomiting had drained him. He decided that a quick doze might help him feel better so he let himself drift off to sleep, grateful for the short respite that sleep would allow him.

Mike had sat with him and saw him falling asleep. He was very worried about his partner and was unsure what he should do next. The boy looked like hell! He thought about ringing Dr. Armstrong but that would only serve to get him put back in hospital which Steve would hate so he decided on a different tactic and leaving Steve's side momentarily he rang the only other person he felt he could rely on to advise him correctly. As he dialled the number he waited patiently and after just two rings the voice of Lenny Murchison answered.

"Hello, Murchison!"

"LENNY ! It's Mike! I've got big problems! It's Steve! I got him home and even managed to get him to eat but after I got him back to my place things have taken a turn for the worst. He saw the container of live bait I bought for our fishing trip and he got violently sick. Lenny, he looks like death warmed up! What should I do Lenny? I can't bring him to Modesto like this!"

Mike hadn't meant to sound so panicked but the worry was chewing on him. Lenny could sense Mike's unease and hurried to calm him.

"Ok Mike. Calm down! When did Steve start feeling bad? Was he feeling sick from the time he left the hospital?"

Mike thought back to the events of the morning.

"No ... maybe ... I don't know Lenny! He seemed a bit off but you know Steve he puts up a front and it's hard to know what's going on in that head of his! I thought he seemed ok back at his place. He was a little tired but he ate ok. I just don't know Lenny ..."

"Mike? Did you discuss the trip or Harry with Steve this morning?" Lenny asked in full psychologist mode.

Again Mike thought about their few conversations.

"No ... he was fairly quiet since we left the hospital ... wait a minute! "

Then Mike remembered their breakfast table conversation and it was Mike's turn for the colour to drain from his face. He remembered how at the mention of Harry's place that Steve's appetite had seemed to wane and how he had begun to push the food around his plate. He also remembered how just after he had asked about who had bought it and then he had gone to his bedroom and closed the door and how shortly after that he had seemed to suffer a bad dizzy spell. He thought about how quiet he had been on the drive to his place and how impatient he was to get inside.

"Yes Lenny, I told him over breakfast that Harry's place was still there and that I was arranging with the realtor for us to go view it tomorrow afternoon!" Mike admitted shamefully, feeling responsible for Steve's current distress.

"Mike! Listen to me. Did you ask Steve if he was ok with that?"

Again Mike answered downheartedly.

"No ... I just told him."

"I see ... And did Steve act differently after you discussed that with him?"

"Yes ... he stopped eating. He said his appetite wasn't fully back and he had a bad dizzy spell shortly after. How could I have been so stupid as not to realize that!" Mike chastised himself, feeling angry and guilty with himself all at the same time.

"Mike. Don't be so hard on yourself! You're too close to the situation. Sometimes it makes it harder for us to see things. You were probably watching him so closely you overlooked the obvious. I very much doubt it was the can of worms that caused Steve to be so sick. Lack of appetite, dizziness, vomiting are all signs of anxiety. He's anxious about the trip Mike. That's what's causing his problems. Where is he now?"

"He's lying on my couch asleep. But he doesn't look good Lenny."

"Ok. Keep an eye on him. I'll come over and talk to him. I have to finish up here but I can be at your place within the hour. I'll judge then if he's up to the trip Mike. Is that ok?"

"Sure. I'd appreciate that. Thanks Lenny. I'll see you later."

"Ok ... and Mike! Try not to worry and don't blame yourself. This is something that Steve has to deal with. He'll get through it. We just have to figure out the best way to help him, that's all. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Mike thanked Lenny again and hung up. He walked back into the living room and sat down in the armchair and watched Steve sleep. He felt awful. He had promised the Doctor he would take care of Steve and he felt like he had let him down instead. He had made arrangements that concerned Steve without even asking him and hadn't even thought about how it would affect him to hear about the place where he suffered such trauma at such a young age. Some friend he was!

Mike noted that while Steve was sleeping, he was still very restless. He glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece and saw that it was just gone ten past twelve. Vowing to make things right with Steve, he sat watching over him and prayed that Lenny wouldn't be too long !


	5. Chapter 5

**Going Home**

**A/N: Once again I wish to thank all those who have read and left such kind reviews for this story so far. I am really enjoying writing this story and I also want to apologize to the folowers of my other story A Cut Above The Rest. I have not forgotten about it and I will try to update that one again soon. It's just that this story has taken me over somewhat and is demanding to be written! I have done my spelling and grammar check on this chapter but apologies if there are any other blatant errors as I am currently smothering with a bad headcold and chest infection so am not at my best! Here is the next instalment!  
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Chapter 5

Steve had drifted into a deep sleep but instead of peaceful rest his tortured mind landed him in a rather disturbing dream. He found himself on a country lane and wondered how on earth he had gotten there. He couldn't see his car or any car for that matter and was puzzled as to where he was. He walked down the lane a good ways and met or saw no-one. The place felt eerie and quiet and he didn't have a good feeling about it. He looked around to see could he recognize anything that would let him know where he was and then he spotted a wooden post that was overgrown with branches and brambles. He carefully pulled the overgrowth away and saw a wooden signpost buried beneath it pointing three miles due east and although the writing was faded he squinted at it and read the word "Modesto"!

Steve's heartbeat quickened and he stumbled back onto the deserted roadway. They hadn't driven here yet or had they? Steve felt very confused but then he saw something else that made his blood run cold. Further up the lane he saw a white gate and a distinctive red post box outside it. It looked like ... no ... it couldn't be ... Steve made his way towards it very cautiously all the time wondering if he was dreaming or if he was actually here. He reached the gate and his heart almost stopped as he saw the familiar post box, the one he had checked for post every morning for his Grandfather for ten years! Steve could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he realized he was at Harry's place but it was so different to the house in his memories. Everything was overgrown and ramshackled and somethings were all but falling apart. He pushed the gate open and it creaked and groaned from the rusty hinges. He walked up to the house and it looked like something out of a bad horror movie. The shutters were hanging off and the porch had many holes here and there that looked treacherous. Not wanting to enter the house he walked around back and found that it was like a jungle.

The allotment that his Grandfather had tended so lovingly was completely over run with weeds and tall grass and it was hard to even walk through. As he walked his foot hit something and Steve recoiled in horror as he looked down and saw a body at his feet. He jumped back and stumbled over an ivy vine and landed beside the body. None of this made sense to Steve because the body was dressed like his Grandfather had been the day he died. This couldn't be real Steve thought. Harry had been buried. He hadn't been left here. Or had he? No ... he had to be dreaming! He closed his eyes and willed himself to wake up! He didn't like how this dream was going. He reached out one trembling hand and it took all the courage he had to gently turn the body over. Steve stifled a sickening gasp as he saw a skeleton before him with worms and maggots crawling from the eye sockets. He backed up instinctively trying to distance himself from the horrific and upsetting sight and felt someone grab his shoulders. Not sure who had grabbed him he fought against the hold and yelled more.

"No! Let me go! Help! Mike!"

Struggling wildly against whatever held him he looked in horror as the weeds started to curl around his legs gripping him tightly not allowing him to leave and the worms began to slither over his legs too and he couldn't free himself or get them off him so he yelled once more even more desperately.

"Mike! Help!"

He closed his eyes even tighter and prayed that he would wake up and his prayers were answered as something shook him and hearing Mike's voice loudly call him he jolted awake, his breathing very ragged and his stomach churning as he looked into the face of a very concerned looking Mike Stone.

Mike had been watching Steve carefully for around twenty minutes and had begun to get very anxious as Steve's restlessness had increased. Coming over beside Steve he put a hand on the young man's forehead to check for a temperature as he seemed very agitated and Mike assumed that he was either in the throes of a fever or a disturbing nightmare. Mike had almost hoped it was a fever as the thoughts of Steve suffering a tortuous bad dream was not something he wanted to think about but instead of a raised temperature, Mike just felt the cold clamminess that indicated his worst fears were being realized. Steve was throwing his head from side to side and his breathing was increasingly more laboured and he was almost gasping every now and then as if whatever he was seeing in his head was of great angst to him. Mike decided that it was better to wake him than watch him endure anymore but as he gently shook him he realized how deeply under he actually was. He couldn't rouse him and then Steve yelled for something or someone to let him go and called for help from Mike.

"Dear God buddy boy! " Mike thought out loud. "What are you seeing?"

Mike's attempts to wake Steve became more urgent and he shook Steve harder than he had previously, urging the young man to open his eyes!

"Steve! Wake up! Open your eyes for me! You need to wake up! Steve!"

Steve's movements increased and he seemed to be trying to get Mike to release him and then he was hitting out with his hands as if he was trying to get away from something! Mike thought of the Bay rescue and the fact that the driver had grabbed his leg. Perhaps he was reliving that trauma and trying to free himself all over again! Steve's breathing was now coming in gasps and he was panicking violently. As he continued to yell for Mike to help him, Mike shook Steve hard, with greater determination to end his current distress and yelled at him.

"STEVE ! WAKE UP! THAT'S AN ORDER!"

The raised voice must have penetrated far enough to reach Steve's subconscious mind as instantly Steve jolted awake and he stared for several unnerving seconds at the older detective while he tried to piece together where he was and what had happened.

Mike spoke more soothingly to Steve trying to calm him and reassure him at the same time.

"It's ok Steve. You're alright. It was just a bad dream. You're at my place! Take it nice and easy now and breathe nice and slow. That's it! "

It took several minutes for Steve to get his breathing under control again as he had been practically on the verge of hyperventilating when Mike had woken him. He sunk back against the couch cushion and covered his face with his hands as he struggled with the leftover horrific images left imprinted in his mind of Harry and the awful sensation of the slimy worms on him had his skin crawling literally. He felt goosebumps all over and could feel himself visibly shaken. Knowing Mike was observing him only served to annoy him more as he had to also deal with the embarrassment of his predicament and all the further trouble he had caused the man who was like a father to him. He was struggling to contain the rising emotions that were welling up inside him. A mix of horror at what he had seen, relief at the fact that it had just been a bad dream and the humiliation of having gone through it under Mike's watchful eye. He felt himself getting upset and had to choke back a sob that had threatened to escape. Mike had watched him since he woke and knew he was trying to compose himself so he hadn't said anything further, but his heart went out to Steve and he wanted nothing more than to take this suffering away from his partner and friend.

"Steve? That was some nightmare! You want to talk about it buddy boy?"

Steve didn't trust his wavering voice to speak just yet so still with his face covered he merely shook his head. Mike sensed his upset and he tried to console him.

"Ok now! It's alright. I know, I know. You don't have to talk about it if you don't feel like it. It was just a nightmare Steve. Whatever shook you so bad wasn't real. If it upset you, then just let the upset out. Whatever you tell me stays between you and me. You know that, don't you? I just wish you'd talk it out Steve."

Steve heard the older man's words and was deeply moved by them and while he appreciated the sentiment, he didn't want to describe what his dream was about to Mike or anyone just yet. He needed time to compose himself and so he sat up and swung his legs off the couch and with his elbows on his knees he rubbed at his face and then brushed a hand through his hair. Mike feared that with the speed he had sat up, that perhaps he was feeling sick again. Quickly sitting beside him, Mike kept a close eye on the young man.

"Are you feeling sick again?"

"No ... no not really. I will tell you about it Mike ... just not right now ok? I just need to go and freshen up a little if that's ok? "

"Sure. Do you need me to go with you?"

"No. It's ok. I can manage. Thanks Mike."

"Ok. If you need me just shout." Mike said and then watched as Steve got up somewhat shakily and headed for the bathroom still looking the worst for wear.

Worry tore at Mike's heart. He wasn't sure what he should do about their trip. He also wasn't sure if he should go and check on Steve and make sure he was alright. Deciding that it wouldn't be any harm just to go and listen discreetly at the bathroom door just to make sure he wasn't throwing up again, Mike got up and was heading after Steve when he heard a knock at the door. Doubling back Mike opened the front door and sighed with relief when he saw Lenny on his doorstep.

"Thank goodness you're here Lenny!"

Lenny noticed that Mike was slightly shook.

" Mike? What's happened? Is Steve ok?"

"I don't know Lenny, I really don't . He slept for a while but it was very fitful and then he had a terrible nightmare!"

Stepping in over the threshold, Lenny questioned Mike again.

"Did he say what the nightmare was about?"

"No ... he said he didn't want to talk about it but it was a doozy alright! It took me ages to wake him and he was in quite a state by the time I finally did! Lenny what am I going to do with him?"

"Alright Mike don't worry. I'll talk to him. Where is he now?"

"He went to the bathroom to freshen up just as you came. I was just about to go check on him. He looked like death warmed up Lenny !"

Lenny could tell that Mike was really worried and in that instant Lenny was determined to get to the bottom of whatever was going on with Steve. It was obvious to Lenny that they both needed his help before this trip could take place. Before they had a chance to do or say much more, in fact, Mike had literally just closed the front door when they heard Steve's voice from down the corridor.

"Mike who was that at the door? I heard the knocking."

Before Mike had a chance to answer Steve appeared and saw Lenny and for a brief moment his face fell. He looked at Mike incredulously, disbelieving the fact that he could have possibly rung the Department Psychologist especially after what he had said about whatever was said between them would stay between them and after the earlier hospital incident where Mike had told things to Lenny about his past that Steve felt he shouldn't have. Mike caught the look and immediately began to regret calling Lenny, as he saw and read Steve's body language and knew Steve wasn't entirely happy with this latest turn of events. Sensing Steve's annoyance, Mike looked away embarrassed.

Seeing Mike's reaction, Steve knew that he had called Lenny, and that awful feeling of betrayal made itself known deep in Steve's gut, but suddenly realizing that his silence since his arrival in the room could be considered quite rude and always priding himself on his manners no matter what the situation he nodded at their visitor.

"Hi Lenny ..."

Lenny had observed the look that Steve had shot at Mike and also observed Mike's reaction to it and although no verbal words had been spoken Lenny knew he had to tread very carefully to avoid another rift between the two men. Acknowledging Steve's greeting he smiled back at the younger detective who he had to agree with Mike looked worse than he had ever seen him looking before and returned the sentiment.

"Hi Steve, I thought I'd drop in and see how you two were doing."

Lenny left his explanation at that for now and again observed Steve's reaction to it. Steve didn't buy it for a second but again he remembered that Lenny had been partly responsible for getting him out of the hospital along with Mike so he felt he deserved his thanks for that.

"Thanks for talking to Doc Armstrong earlier Lenny and helping to get me discharged. I was starting to climb the walls. I appreciate your help in that."

"You're welcome Steve. Physically you were in good shape. I saw no point in him keeping you there unnecessarily."

There it was, Steve thought. The line where friendship stopped and psychologist took over. "Physically you were in good shape!" Indicating clearly that mentally and emotionally he was a wreck! But then Steve reckoned he couldn't exactly argue that point when all the current evidence pointed to that being the case. Although that feeling in his gut was still niggling at him somewhat and he was still slightly annoyed at Mike for bringing Lenny into the situation, he also suddenly felt overwhelmingly drained and felt too sick and tired to stay angry with anybody.

Standing at the door in front of the two men for so long took its toll and he felt suddenly strangely weak and vulnerable. His head started to swim slightly and he had to fight the urge not to collapse where he stood. Not in front of Lenny, he almost pleaded with his body but his body, as was the case these last few days had other ideas and he swayed where he stood. Mike and Lenny had watched him closely and saw that the young man was in difficulty. Both ran forward and taking an arm each, they took charge of their patient and steered him back to the couch. Mike in that instant changed his mind and was now glad that Lenny was there to assist him and to help him with his partner and although he was sorry that Steve was probably upset with him for alerting him, he did truly believe that Lenny's presence was in this instance necessary for Steve's recovery.

They got him lying down again and raised his legs sensing his flakiness and Lenny checked him over much to Steve's embarrassment.

"Mike! Could you fetch a glass of water please?" Lenny asked and Mike was almost glad of the request as it gave him a purpose instead of the feeling of helplessness that he had felt the last few hours in relation to being of any use to Steve.

"Take it easy Steve. You're pulse is a little slow. You need to rest for a bit. Mikes gone to get you some water. How are you feeling?"

Lying down again helped and Steve felt less unsteady. He heard Lenny's question and noted that Mike was not in the room for the time being so he decided to be brutally honest.

"I guess ... there's no real point in saying I'm ok, is there? Mikes obviously told you I've been sick and that I'm not sleeping huh? Did he tell you about the nightmare too?"

Lenny was prepared for the question and answered quickly.

"Steve, don't be hard on Mike. He's worried sick about you, that's all. And from what I've just witnessed he has every right to be. You're definitely showing distinct signs of post traumatic stress and you're not coping with it Steve. You need my help even if you don't think you do!"

Lenny's words were slightly harsh and also brutally honest but they had the desired effect. Steve thought about what he said about Mike and in that moment of clarity Steve saw how difficult it must have been for the older detective. Watching his partner rescue the Vaccaros from the Bay, witnessing his panic attacks at the hospital, witnessing his dreadful migraine attack and taking all his frantic calls, at all hours of the day and night. He thought about how he had woken him so early this morning and how he had come to his rescue without delay, how he had witnessed his dizzy spell, then watched him be violently sick and then as clarity continued he thought about how shook Mike had looked when he had woken from his nightmare.

With that, Mike returned with the glass of water and Steve only then noticed how tired and drained his partner looked and how the last few days had affected him too. Steve reckoned he had been so caught up in his own misery he had neglected to even consider that as partners Mike was sharing Steve's pain and misery except without any acknowledgement of the fact. Guilt suddenly replaced the sense of betrayal he had felt and he saw in that moment that Mike had done the right thing calling Lenny and Steve clearly understood why.

Mike handed Lenny the glass and was watching Steve with great concern etched on his face. Steve felt responsible for his angst and desperately needed to make things easier for Mike.

"I'm ok Mike. Stop worrying will you please. You were right to call Lenny. I'm sorry ... for causing you all this worry Mike. I don't know what's happening to me ..."

Steve felt himself getting upset and so stopped talking and closing his eyes he wished that the last few days hadn't happened at all and that this was all a nightmare that he could just wake up from instead. He felt a hand on his arm and somebody sitting down beside him and opening his eyes he saw Mike, only this time he was smiling and the worried look wasn't as visible anymore. He seemed to have that old familiar twinkle back in his eye and he patted Steve's arm affectionately.

"Hey, hey now. Everything's going to be ok buddy boy. Now we've been through a lot of scrapes together haven't we?"

"Yeah ... "

"Well, we'll get through this one too ... together! Have you got that?"

Steve could feel upset almost clogging his throat but he managed another few words in reply.

"Yeah ... ok Mike!"

"Now, Lenny here is good at what he does so you need to talk to him, as difficult as that may be for you. He'll help you deal with whatever it is you need to deal with and then you and I are going fishing! Ok buddy boy?"

"Ok Mike ... I will ..."

"Good man! Now I'm going to make us all some nice hot sweet tea. Just what the Doctor ordered! I'll leave you two to talk for a bit. And Steve, you're forgetting one very important thing in all this. You need to start looking up! Remember?"

Mike knew that reminder would also have the desired effect and still smiling at Steve he got up to head for the kitchen, Steve reached out and grabbed the older man's hand. Swallowing back the emotion that was thick in his throat he spoke sincerely and with feeling.

"Thanks Mike ... I don't think ... I'd have got through the last few days only for you."

Mike felt his own emotions fray as he squeezed Steve's hand and winked at him, conveying without words that his thanks were unnecessary and then turning to Lenny he spoke authoritatively.

"Now Lenny! You go easy on the boy. He's been through enough already for one day. You hear me now?"

Lenny smiled at Mike.

"Hey! I always go easy on people! Don't worry. Me and Steve are just going to have a nice easy chat. That's all."

Mike smiled back at Lenny and then turned to Steve who he noted looked absolutely physically and emotionally drained.

"If he's giving you too much grief you just call me now ok?" Mike added playfully which brought a faint smile to Steve's face.

"Ok Mike ..."

With that the older man released Steve's hand and turned and entered the kitchen closing the door behind him. He stood with his back up against the inside of the door and felt his strength leave him. He prayed that Lenny would be able to help Steve and as a solitary tear ran down his cheek he cleared his throat, wiped it away and leaving his place at the door he busied himself by putting on the kettle.

Back in the living room, Lenny handed Steve the glass of water.

"Here drink some of this for me."

Steve drank a few small mouthfuls of it and then Lenny took it back and placed it on a side table near them. Then he moved a chair over beside where Steve was lying and sat down. Steve smiled as he realized that this scene matched most psychiatrist scenes in the movies where the patient lay on the couch while the Doctor sat in the chair and he tried to lighten the nerves he was feeling by commenting.

"Lenny, all this scene is missing now is your notebook and pen."

Realizing what Steve was thinking Lenny smiled back and responded.

"Ah, I only use those in my office. This chat is strictly off the record. You could call it a free private consultation between friends. So let's talk. How are you feeling Steve after the last few days. And remember, the only thing that will make this work is total honesty!"

"Ok ... But I don't know if I can explain it exactly ..."

"Try ... in your own words and your own time Steve."

Steve took some deep breaths and tried to see how he could explain how he was feeling that made sense. Then an idea occurred to him that fitted aptly how he felt so he started to relay it to Lenny.

"I guess ... I feel out of control. Like ... I'm in a car where the brakes aren't working. I'm steering it as best I can but ... I'm not sure where it's going to end up!"

"Good imagery ... And it makes sense. Did you feel fully in control before all this happened Steve?"

"Yeah ... I guess I've always locked away anything that I couldn't deal with behind a locked door in my head. I could control things and function normally that way. All this, has opened that door and it's like, everything I locked away is loose and although I've tried, I can't get them back in and get the door closed again."

"You might not think so right now Steve, but opening that door is the best thing you ever did."

Steve looked at Lenny disbelievingly and Lenny smiled at Steve's reaction.

"I know, locking things away and not having to deal with them is easier, I'll grant you, but doing that only makes things fester. Problems dealt with as they happen are easy enough to deal with, given the right help but when you let them fester as you have, problems seem bigger and more painful than they really are. All the pain and trauma that you've locked away for so long are the reason you're experiencing all the symptoms that you are now. All the anxiety is a direct result of suddenly having to deal with all these things now after so much time has lapsed. You are having anxiety attacks aren't you Steve?"

Lenny's candid question caught Steve off guard and he marvelled at how good Lenny was at his job. How he had spotted the signs and symptoms and made his correct conclusions. Steve once more took a deep steadying breath and knew that this conversation was his only chance to learn how to get himself back to his usual calm and in control self. The Steve that he liked better than this emotional wreck so staring intently at Lenny he realized that on this occasion, despite the fact that it went totally against his beliefs and was totally out of character for the young detective, nothing less than full disclosure was necessary for his recovery.


	6. Chapter 6

**Going Home**

Chapter 6

Seeing Steve running through things in his head, Lenny gently repeated the question.

"You are having anxiety attacks aren't you Steve?"

"Yeah ... I guess you could call them that."

"How often?"

"Since the rescue ... I don't know. Maybe four or five ... maybe more."

"Describe them for me."

Steve drew in more deep breaths fearing that describing them would almost bring one on but reminding himself once more what this exercise was for he bravely continued.

"My heart beats a little faster. I feel panicked. It gets harder to breathe. I feel light-headed and then I feel sick. That's about it. It usually passes quite quickly but the nausea stays."

Steve felt slightly embarrassed recounting his weaknesses to Lenny, probably as it was so out of character for him to do so. So he turned his head slightly to the side and refused to catch his eye. Lenny noticed his discomfort and knew this conversation wasn't an easy one for the young man and genuinely not wanting to cause him any undue discomfort, as he had already suffered so much in silence, he quickly moved the conversation along.

"Sounds like a typical anxiety attack Steve. Can you identify what's triggered them each time?"

Again Steve felt weary. He really hated having to have this talk with Lenny and he hated even more that this was his only option for dealing with his current troubles. But trying to focus on getting this whole conversation out of the way as quickly as possible he thought carefully about the last few days and the various times he had felt panicked and stressed. Lenny could see that he was trying to remember what had caused them and from somewhere deep within, he felt proud of Steve for his courage and honesty.

"At first, mention of the Bay rescue caused them. Thinking about trying to rescue the hostages, the memory of how cold the water was, the driver grabbing me, not being able to catch my breath, the taste of the seawater ... "

As Steve recounted all those things he almost relived them again in his head and he could suddenly remember the vile taste of the water that he had swallowed ... he shuddered as he spoke, almost subconsciously and Lenny stopped him immediately before he could work himself up any further.

"Ok, Steve. That makes sense. But you said at first. What causes them now?"

Steve snapped back to the present at Lenny's interruption and was actually glad that Lenny had stopped him when he had. Steeling himself for the next part he answered Lenny's next question.

"Now ... talking about finding Harry and my life in Modesto I guess ..."

"Steve, it's perfectly understandable that these things are making you anxious especially after everything that's happened the last few days. The letter that you opened and the trauma that you suffered when you found your Grandfather the way you described is enough to cause these feelings you have of being out of control but what exactly about this trip is causing you the most anxiety?"

"I ... don't know. Seeing Harry's place I guess. Visiting the place where it happened. I don't know exactly, just the whole thing has me on edge. I haven't been back there for ... about nine years."

"Steve, can you tell me what your nightmare was about? Mike said that you were very distressed in it."

That was the one question that Steve was dreading. He really didn't want to even think about it anymore let alone recount it to anyone but again he knew he had little choice if he wanted to put this whole sorry mess behind him once and for all. So again, mustering up courage he started.

"I was back at Harry's place ... but it was very different. It was neglected and overgrown. Harry's ... " Steve's voice caught as he remembered the horrific way he had looked in his dream and he stopped momentarily to get his emotions in check.

This wasn't lost on Lenny who intervened hearing the upset in the young man's voice.

"Ok, Steve. I know this isn't easy. Take your time."

Steve swallowed hard and continued.

"Harry's body was still on the ground where I found him. I stumbled over the body and fell beside it. He was dressed the same way he was when I found him all those years ago ... I turned him over but ... but ... they were just skeletal remains and there were worms crawling all over him ..."

Again Steve stopped as his stomach churned at the memory. He closed his eyes so as not to see Lenny's reaction to what he was telling him but all that did was heighten the images still imprinted in his mind.

"I tried to back away but the weeds curled around my legs and pinned me to the spot ..."

Steve couldn't bring himself to relate any more of it. His courage was running out and the sickening images of the nightmare were too raw and painful. He felt himself getting upset and he once more covered his face with his hand. A defense mechanism he seemed to be using a lot lately. Lenny could see how difficult it had become for Steve and felt anyway that he had heard enough. He was proud of Steve for speaking of it as it had sounded a pretty horrific dream to have experienced. Lenny leaned forward and patted Steve's arm.

"Ok, Steve, that's alright. You've told me enough. No wonder you were so distraught when Mike woke you. That wasn't an easy thing to dream about or talk about so thanks for telling it to me. Breathe nice and slow now Steve. Are you ok?"

Steve took several more seconds to pull himself back together. God he felt so tired! He finally took his hand away from his face and looking at Lenny unable to fully hide the upset from his eyes or his voice he asked somewhat shakily.

"Well Lenny, what's the verdict? Am I officially losing it? Huh?"

Lenny's heart went out to his friend. Steve's life had been totally turned upside down in the course of just three days and he could see clearly how badly it was affecting him. However he smiled at the young detective and slouching back in his chair he spoke gently and clearly.

"No Steve. I can officially say that you are not losing anything. What you are experiencing and feeling is classic Post Traumatic Stress. While it's not pleasant, it's perfectly understandable after the events of the last few days. Your nightmare does tell me that Harry's place is the main cause of your anxiety. Your subconscious mind is telling you by the nightmare you had, how anxious you are at the thought of revisiting it. The mind can be a wonderful thing. You've conjured up horrific and upsetting images in your mind as a means to somehow discourage you from going there. But the symbolism of the weeds holding you pinned tells me, that spot is the one place you must visit to deal with it once and for all. It's got the strongest hold on you. You will however find that it's more than likely not the same horrific place that it was in your nightmare Steve. When you're there you'll probably find it very peaceful and meaningful and you'll see it for what it truly is Steve. A simple patch of ground that just happened to be the cause of some unpleasant memories in your past but can't hurt you anymore."

Steve was listening carefully to Lenny's logic and it did make sense. Lenny swore he saw moisture in the young man's eyes and saw how exhausted he looked. Deciding that they had talked enough of it for one day he finished up.

"Steve, listen to me. Overall, I think you're focussing too much on the bad memories of your childhood and I feel partly responsible for that. Making you talk about your parents and then about your Grandfather means that those memories are the ones that are foremost in your mind but not everything you see on this trip is going to bring back bad memories. Sure some things will, that's inevitable but many things will probably bring back good memories too. But I want you to remember something important. Everything in Modesto relates to the life you had before."

Steve looked puzzled at Lenny.

"What do you mean? What are you talking about?"

"Look at it this way Steve. Modesto is where you grew up. It was a large part of your life for a long time but your life is here now. Here in San Francisco, your job with SFPD with Mike, your apartment, the friends you have here. You've made a good life for yourself here now. There's nothing in Modesto that can interfere with that. Think of it as ... as a trip down memory lane but then you return to your life here. If you think of it like that you won't feel as anxious or as worried. Do you understand now?"

Steve was processing everything that Lenny had said and it was starting to make sense. After all it was just a trip away. What real harm could it do? Actually Steve began to feel rather silly for letting it get to him so much. They were just memories after all. But still he didn't look forward to reliving some of them but they didn't seem quite so scary after Lenny's logic. Steve looked at Lenny and could see that he had watched him while he thought things through.

"Yeah ... I see what you're saying now. I also see what you meant by keeping those memories locked up for so long making them seem worse than they really are. I guess I've been guilty of that."

"Look Steve, I'm not saying that this whole trip will be an easy one. There will be memories and things that will be difficult but you'll have one thing with you that will ground you and remind you of your life here and help you deal with them ..."

Lenny stopped mid sentence and raised an eyebrow at Steve urging him to see what that one thing was. It worked too as Steve thought about it and his facial expression softened as he realized what Lenny meant. Almost stammering the word he uttered.

"Mike ..."

Lenny smiled and felt that this chat had gone better than he could have hoped.

"Yes Steve. Mike! Mike is the one thing that doesn't fit into your memories of Modesto. If the past is getting you down, focus on Mike, talk to him. It will help you deal with everything, knowing that the two of you will be returning back here and that life will continue as normal when you get back regardless of what you experience while you're away. Mike is the key to the success of this trip Steve. You must remember that!"

Steve looked gratefully at Lenny and was amazed at how easy he had made it all sound. While he knew he would still feel anxious about seeing some things in Modesto, the awful nagging worry seemed to have lifted. He felt easier at the prospect and the extreme tiredness he felt was making his emotions harder to contain.

"Thanks Lenny. I think I feel better about it now ... " Steve uttered emotionally. "You really are good at what you do, you know that?"

Lenny smiled back.

"Of course! Why do you think they pay me so much. huh?" Lenny teased and it brought a smile to Steve's face. But getting slightly serious again momentarily, he spoke sincerely.

"I'm glad I was able to help Steve. You shouldn't get anymore anxiety attacks after this chat or any nightmares for that matter but if you feel one coming on, you need to breathe nice and slow and TALK it out with Mike! I know talking about how you feel has never been your strong point but talking it out always helps! Trust me! And I would also recommend in future that you no longer lock things away in that head of yours!" Lenny said tapping Steve's forehead lightly as he spoke. "Now I think we better get Mike back in here and put him out of his misery. He's probably in there worrying himself into a state. What do you think?"

Again Steve smiled.

"Yeah ... ok."

Lenny called out to Mike.

"Mike!"

The kitchen door opened almost immediately as if he had literally been waiting for the signal to return and looking anxiously between both men he spoke nervously.

"You two ok? You ready for that tea now?"

"Yes, Mike. We're both fine." Lenny answered. "I think Steve's feeling better after our chat."

Mike's familiar broad smile returned at those words and he hurried back into the kitchen and brought out a tray with the teas on it and a plate of cookies and biscuits. Setting it down on the coffee table he looked at Steve, who hadn't really spoken much since he returned.

"Do you feel better buddy boy?"

Steve smiled at the older man.

"Yeah .. I do Mike. Lenny here really helped. I'm ok with our trip now but Mike I just need you to promise me one thing ..."

Mike looked curiously at Steve.

"Ok buddy boy, what's that?"

"If at any stage this weekend I decide I've had enough and I want to go home, I need to know that you won't try to talk me out of it or convince me to stay. I need to know I can leave anytime I want Mike."

Mike smiled.

"Sure ... anytime you want to leave, day or night, we'll head back. I promise."

Mike squeezed Steve's shoulder to assure him he had no worries on that count and Steve smiled gratefully at his partner. Lenny watched the show of affection between the two partners and it never ceased to move him. As if Mike suddenly realized that Lenny was watching them he snapped back into host mode and started handing out the tea. They drank their tea and even managed to get Steve to drink a cup, even though he drank it very slowly and under the watchful eye of his two companions. As they finished the refreshments, Mike sat back in his chair and spoke to Lenny.

"Well, Lenny, what do you reckon? Is the boy here up to the trip to Modesto this afternoon?"

"I don't see why not! He could do with a couple of hours sleep and it would help if he ate something and more importantly kept it down! But aside from that I think he should be ok."

"GUYS! You're doing it again!" Steve interrupted slightly exasperated.

"Doing what?" Mike asked.

"Talking about me like I'm not here! I am FINE to go to Modesto later and I am NOT tired or hungry thank you very much! " Steve answered rather sulkily.

Mike and Lenny exchanged a knowing look between them. The mere fact that he was denying his obvious need for sleep meant that he was feeling a little better and getting back to the Steve they all knew and cared about. Not wanting to aggravate the young man any further, Mike moved to calm the situation.

"Ok, ok, calm down now. Don't go getting all hot under the collar. And I'm sorry ok? You're right. We shouldn't be discussing you as if you're not here. If you're feeling up to it we can head off later this afternoon. Ok? "

Steve seemed to accept Mike's apology and knew deep down that he had flown off the handle a bit, mainly due to the tiredness he was feeling but refused to acknowledge openly. Smiling at the older man, he responded.

"Ok Mike ... Later sounds fine. And ... I'm sorry for snapping at you... "

Mike smiled at the guilty and embarrassed look that briefly crossed Steve's face during his apology and patted Steve's shoulder.

"Alright, don't worry. We're all a little on edge. Just don't make a habit of it ok?" Mike added teasingly and playfully swatted the back of Steve's head gently which caused Steve to chuckle.

"Ow! ... Ok. Understood!"

Lenny was watching the two detectives closely and never ceased to be intrigued at the easy-going and close friendship these two detectives shared. If only every partnership in the Department worked so well together his job would be a whole lot easier, he thought. Then as he glanced at the mantlepiece clock he saw that it was just coming up to two o'clock and he remembered that he had a meeting arranged in his office for two thirty so he finished his tea and stood up causing Mike and Steve to look at him curiously.

"Sorry gentlemen. I have a meeting at two thirty so I have to be heading back to the office. Mike, thanks for the tea. It was most refreshing! Enjoy your weekend and if either of you need to talk to me at any stage while you're away, you both have my number. Feel free to call. Ok?"

"Ok. Thanks for coming over Lenny. I'll see you out!" Mike said getting up and heading for the front door.

"Thanks Lenny ..." Steve added. "Our talk really helped ..."

Lenny stopped briefly and looked at Steve.

"I'm glad. Take care of yourself Steve and good luck! When you get back to work, we might have another little chat just to see how you got on, if that's ok with you?"

"Still off the record?" Steve added cautiously.

"Absolutely."

"Then sure. I guess that would be ok. I guess I'll see you Wednesday then."

Lenny nodded and smiled and followed Mike. As he stepped outside, Mike stepped briefly outside onto the top step out of earshot of Steve.

"Thanks for talking to the boy Lenny. He seems a lot easier since you had your chat. I really appreciate it."

Lenny smiled knowing that Mike's gratitude was sincere and heartfelt.

"You're welcome Mike. I'm glad you called me and I'm also glad that talking about it helped him. He should be ok now. Just keep a close on him in Modesto. I told him to talk to you if things bothered him there. Hopefully he'll follow my advice."

"Oh, I'll make sure he does! Don't you worry. See you Lenny!"

And as they said their goodbyes Mike stayed on the top step until Lenny had gotten into his car and had driven off, then he took a few deep breaths of the fresh salty sea air and feeling more at ease with their intended trip, he then headed back inside to Steve.

Coming back inside, Mike glanced over at Steve and saw that he seemed deep in thought and he stood and wondered what was going through the young man's head. He had to get him to sleep somehow though. He really looked exhausted and after he had gotten him to sleep for a while he would have to coax him to eat something too! They were his next two challenges and Mike Stone never shrunk from a challenge! So heading over to the coffee table Mike started to gather up the cups and place them back on the tray. When he had them ready to return to the kitchen, he stood up and clapped his hands together.

"Well buddy boy! If you don't want to sleep and you're not hungry, how do you want to spend the next few hours before we head off then?"

Steve looked at Mike and didn't seem to have an answer.

"I don't know ..."

"Well, will you at least rest there for a bit while I wash up these few things. Huh?"

"Ok ... " Steve agreed but added quickly" Can I watch television?"

"Sure, buddy boy. What do you want to watch?"

"It doesn't matter. Whatever's on!"

So Mike turned on the television on a news channel and then smiling he brought the tray out to the kitchen and started to clean up. Every now and then he peeped in at Steve and could see that despite the fact that he was supposed to be looking at the television, his eyes kept closing of their own accord from pure exhaustion but Mike noted that every time they did, Steve forced them open again, doing his best to fight sleep with every ounce of willpower he had left. After watching this for around ten minutes, and having put away the tea-things, Mike had enough and storming into the living room, Mike turned off the television.

"Ok, that's enough!"

"Hey Mike! What did you do that for? I was watching that!" Steve protested.

"Oh, you were, were you? Through closed eyelids huh? Well, you really must teach me how to do that then! "

Steve knew he'd been caught out and looked away from Mike's stony glare, but didn't answer. Not meaning to have sounded so harsh Mike softened his tone and pulling up the chair that Lenny had sat in earlier, he spoke more gently.

"Look Steve. I know you're fighting the urge to sleep, and after the nightmare you seemed to have earlier ... well I guess I don't blame you. But you need to sleep! Your eyes are in the back of your head and you need to at least get a couple of hours shut-eye before we head off later. Please ... try to sleep buddy boy. You heard Lenny. He said it was unlikely that you'd have any more nightmares but even if you do, I promise you I'll wake you up quickly. Ok? Come on, what do you say? Try to get some sleep huh?"

Steve knew Mike was right and he also marvelled at how Mike knew why he was fighting sleep in the first place. He was afraid of what the next bad dream would make him endure but Lenny had said that he probably wouldn't have anymore and anyway he didn't think he was physically able to fight the exhaustion anymore as he could barely keep his eyes open. So knowing he had little choice but to get some sleep, he just prayed that Lenny was right!

"Ok Mike. I'll sleep, but you promise to wake me even if I only seem a little bit agitated?"

Mike heard the distinct worry and vulnerability in the young man's question and knowing how much he had already endured over the last few days he felt sorry for his partner.

"Count on it!" Mike said and his serious expression told Steve he had nothing to worry about.

So smiling at Mike he let his heavy eyelids close and it took less than two minutes for him to drift off asleep. Mike pulled the blanket up over the sleeping form of his partner and prayed that he would be allowed a couple of hours peaceful rest. God knows he needed it and deserved it!


	7. Chapter 7

**Going Home**

Chapter 7

Mike kept a watchful eye over Steve as he slept and his prayers appeared to have been answered as Steve seemed to be sleeping very peacefully. Unlike the last time he had slept, this time his breathing was very relaxed and even and there was no restlessness at all. At two thirty, Mike just remembered that he hadn't received the call he was expecting from the Realtors in Modesto. With everything that had happened since they had arrived home to his place he had completely forgotten about it! So deciding to give them a call back Mike went upstairs to his bedroom to make the call from there so as not to disturb Steve.

Taking out his notebook from his back pocket he found the number he had dialled earlier and dialled it again. After only two rings the receiver had been picked up and a lady's voice spoke.

"Hello, Newton and Holby Realtors! Can I help you?"

"Yes Ma'am, I hope you can. My name is Mike Stone. I was talking to Mr Newton earlier today about the possibility of viewing a property in Modesto tomorrow afternoon. He was to call me back but I haven't heard from him yet. Would he be around please?"

"Just one moment sir!"

Mike was put on hold. Something he truly hated but he waited patiently and within a few moments a man's voice came on the line.

"Ah Mr. Stone, my sincere apologies for the delay in returning your call. I was having difficulty contacting the owner of the property you were inquiring about. However I have just spoke to him and I have explained the situation you told me about regarding your friend. He was most cooperative and said that he would allow you access to the property at two o'clock tomorrow afternoon. He said that he would meet you there himself."

"Oh that's great news. Listen I really appreciate your help with this. I realize that it is an unusual request to make of you and well, we greatly appreciate your assistance with it."

"I'm only too happy to help. That incident is fairly well-remembered around here. It was such a sad thing to have happened. Harry Keller was such a lovely man. So well liked and respected in the community. His sudden passing in such sad circumstances was a terrible tragedy and the way his grandson found him was heartbreaking. I'm only too happy to help."

"Mr Newton, I realize I've asked quite enough of you already but could I trouble you with one last question. Can you tell me who bought the property?"

" Well, I guess it would be ok seeing as he has agreed to meet you. The man you're meeting tomorrow bought it. His name is Richards. Mr. Joseph Richards."

Mike again thanked the realtor and after they said their goodbyes Mike hung up and hurried back downstairs to check on Steve. He had moved onto his side but was still sleeping soundly. He still looked frightfully pale Mike observed and he hoped that maybe the weekend away would put some colour back in his cheeks. He sat for a while in the armchair and thought about the phone conversation he had just had. Steve had mentioned that his Grandfather's neighbour had been a Mr. Richards and began to wonder was the new owner the same man. He would have to ask Steve later if he felt that he was up to speaking of it. He knew now, after their last conversation and the effect it had on Steve that he would have to tread carefully when asking him anything regarding Modesto in the future.

The other thing that bothered him greatly was the fact that the incident was still remembered around Modesto to this day. That would not make it any easier on Steve if everyone there kept reminding him of it and sympathizing with him all the while they were there. He tried to work out the best way he could shelter him from most of that and so he worked out a plan that he was actually quite proud of. First he took out some road maps and studied the different areas of Modesto and then remembering someone from his past that might be able to help him, he returned to the phone in his bedroom and made a few more calls. After the third one, a man's voice answered. Mike smiled broadly.

"Gerry? Mike Stone here. Yes it sure has been a long time. How have you been? How's that beautiful wife of yours? Betty wasn't it? Good, well that's good to hear. Yes, Jeannie is fine. All grown up now. No, I'm afraid we lost Helen over eight years ago now. Thanks Gerry. I appreciate that. Listen I'm going to be strictly honest with you. I need a small favour from you ... "

Mike talked for ten more minutes to the mystery caller and when he had finished he hung up feeling very proud of himself. Then having checked on Steve who was still alright, Mike started to pack the car with all the fishing equipment and the stuff they would need for their trip.

It took Mike until just after three forty-five to get everything packed and then he made some coffee and sat down for a rest. He had continuously checked on the sleeping young man while he had brought stuff out to the car and was very pleased to see him finally getting the rest he badly needed. All that was left now was to get him to eat something when he woke up before they left and they were ready to go! But what would he be able to coax him to eat, that would be light enough not to go upsetting his stomach and yet at least benefit the boy!

He thought long and hard and started remembering times when his Jeannie had been ill at home from school with upset stomachs and what Helen had fixed for her. Helen always had things she would cook for different situations that would have you right as rain in no time at all! But what used she prepare for a sick stomach? Yes! It came to him and he smiled broadly. He then got up and going to the kitchen he opened a drawer and found a thick book full of recipes. Some were hand written in Helen's writing and some were stuck in, having been cut from various magazines and newspapers. Mike smiled remembering fondly the care she had always taken in keeping this particular journal. He would often come home from a long shift at work and find her here in the kitchen pouring over this book all excited about some new recipe she had found or someone had shared with her. Mike had always told Jeannie that it was hers whenever she wanted it. A lovely legacy from her Mother but Jeannie was afraid to take something so precious to her student accommodation in Arizona just in case something happened to it so she told Mike to keep it safe for her in the drawer where it always had been kept. He fingered Helen's handwriting fondly and somewhat sadly then pulling himself together, he looked through the book until he came to the recipe he was looking for. Just the thing Mike thought as he checked to see if he had all the ingredients he needed. Satisfied that he had, Mike spent the next forty minutes cooking in the kitchen, still glancing an occasional eye in to see how Steve was doing all the while.

It was just after five thirty when Steve showed any signs of waking. He turned over and stretched and opened his eyes. At first he was confused as to where he was until a familiar voice reached his ears and Mike came hurrying out from the kitchen.

"Well, finally you managed to get some decent sleep buddy boy! It was about time too. How do you feel? " Mike asked full of ginger and excitement regarding their trip. He couldn't wait to surprise Steve when they got there.

Steve didn't seem to be fully awake yet and sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he slowly processed Mike's words. Then stifling an enormous yawn, he finally managed to answer somewhat drowsily.

"Yeah, I feel ok Mike thanks! How long have I been asleep?"

"Oh about three hours and not a bad dream in sight."

Mike could tell that Steve was still very sleepy and he began to wonder if maybe they should leave the trip until first thing in the morning so he questioned the young man further.

"You know, you still look very tired. Maybe we should leave the trip until tomorrow and maybe you should just go back to sleep. What do you think?"

But Steve saw how earlier Mike had been so excited about the trip and even though he tried to hide it, he also sensed a slight disappointment in his voice at the thoughts of having to postpone it so swinging his legs off the couch, he brushed a hand through his hair and forced himself awake.

"No, no it's ok! Let's head there this evening. I'm up to it. Have we much stuff to bring? Will it take us long to pack the car?"

Mike beamed from ear to ear.

"Well now you don't have to worry your head about that! While you were catching up on some shut-eye I got it all done! The car is all packed and ready to go! All that's left is to fill her up with gas along the way."

Steve couldn't help but smile at Mike's enthusiasm.

"Wow! I am impressed!" then as a nice smell wafted out from the kitchen under Steve's nose he added " Smells like you've been busy in the kitchen too. Something smells real nice."

"Indeed I have buddy boy! Are you hungry?"

The food did smell nice and Steve was definitely more hungry than he had been of late but he was a bit anxious about eating something heavy with the trip to Modesto hanging over him. But Mike had gone to the bother of cooking again and his beaming face was hard to say no to, so he smiled back gratefully.

"Yeah, yeah I think I could manage a little something. What did you cook?"

"You'll have to wait and see for yourself but don't worry, it's nothing heavy I promise. Do you want to eat in here or are you ok to eat in the kitchen?"

"No, let's eat in the kitchen. It's easier" and getting up, Steve followed Mike into the kitchen.

As he came in he quickly checked the stove to try to see what Mike had cooked as although Mike had promised it was something light, he really didn't feel up to a heavy meal, but to his relief there was just one stock pot on the top of the stove. Mike held a chair out for Steve to sit down.

"Sit down buddy boy. It won't take a minute to serve!" then seeing Steve getting slightly anxious at the prospect of what he was going to have to eat Mike felt he had better put him out of his misery. "Well, don't look so worried! It's just chicken broth. Ok?"

Mike saw Steve visibly relax and he quickly served them each a bowl and placed one in front of Steve and then sat down opposite him and put his bowl down. He watched Steve pick up his spoon and gingerly stir the broth and take the first spoonful. It was very light and tasted delicious! The taste was nice without being overpowering and it was definitely easy on the stomach. Steve smiled at Mike who was anxiously waiting for his verdict.

"Now I'm really impressed ! Did you make this? It's really nice." and he continued to eat the tasty chicken broth.

Mike seemed to beam with pride.

"I'm glad you like it buddy boy! I made it from one of Helen's recipes." he said patting the large journal that was still on the table beside him.

"Was that Helen's book?" Steve asked noticing how proud and protective Mike seemed to be of it.

"Yes, she collected all these recipes. Some, people told her about, some, she cut out of magazines, things like that. She used to make this broth for Jeannie whenever she had an upset stomach and for me too for that matter. I hadn't thought of it for a long time until this afternoon when I was trying to figure out what I could get you to eat with that sick stomach of yours. Then it just came to me. Almost like ... like she reminded me."

Mike fingered the book again and his smile faded a little and he seemed lost in his thoughts. Steve suddenly felt bad for his partner. Here he was feeling sorry for himself about losing his Grandfather and here was Mike feeling exactly the same way about his poor wife who he had loved so much. Steve thought carefully about what he could say that would cheer Mike up and when he finally decided, he looked at Mike and spoke sincerely.

"Well, it's really delicious. She'd be proud of you Mike!"

Mike heard what Steve said and looking up from the book he looked gratefully at his partner.

"You really think it tastes good?"

"Yeah, I do. " Steve answered still enjoying the tasty broth.

Mike's smile returned and he answered modestly.

"Thanks for saying that buddy boy. But ... I'm sure it's not a patch on Helen's broth. You know she was a terrific cook! She could cook most of these from memory you know? It's a pity you never got to meet her buddy boy. Knowing Helen, she would have cooked you up a storm and made it her mission to put some meat on your bones! "

Steve chuckled at that.

"I'm sorry I never got to meet her too. Sounds like she was quite a lady!"

"She was ... she sure was buddy boy." then realizing he was probably getting a little too morose he changed the subject quickly. " Was Harry a good cook?"

"Yeah, yeah he was. He taught me a little bit too. He used to make this special beef stew. When I'd arrive home from school, you knew if he'd made it because you could smell it as soon as you came in the gate. It was the best ever Mike."

Steve seemed to lose himself too for a few minutes as he thought about the many happy meals he had shared with Harry over the years. Mike noticed and patting Steve's arm, he smiled warmly.

"I guess they'll never be very far from us Steve, if we keep remembering them just like now huh?"

"Yeah, yeah I guess you're right Mike and then forcing himself to snap out of his memories he smiled at Mike and wolfed down the rest of the broth much to Mike's delight.

"You certainly made short work of that Steve! You full?"

"Yes, thanks. I enjoyed that!" Steve said as he leaned back in his chair and wiped his mouth with a napkin.

Mike finished shortly after and then looking at the clock he noticed that it was coming up to ten past six and was probably time they headed off so they could get to Modesto before dark.

"Time is moving on Steve. We best make a start if we're going to make it to Modesto before dark. I'll bring the rest of the broth in a thermos and we can have some more later. Leave the dishes in the sink and I'll sort them when we get back."

"Are you sure? I can do them if you like. I haven't really been pulling my weight since I left the hospital this morning."

"No, it's fine and don't worry. You'll have plenty to do later on to make yourself useful." Mike added cryptically causing Steve to raise an eyebrow in curiosity.

But Mike was in full preparation mode and hadn't noticed Steve's curious look. Within the next twenty minutes, the house had been locked up and making sure they hadn't left anything behind, they made their way down to the car. As Mike headed around to the driver's side, Steve spoke.

"If you want I can drive for a bit Mike?"

Mike looked across the roof at his partner and noticed how tired he still looked.

"You still look tired buddy boy, but I'll tell you what. Why don't you let me drive the first half of the way and you can try to sleep a little more and then we'll swap over for the second half. What do you say?"

"Ok, that's sounds fine."

The two men got into the car and Mike fished the key out of his pocket and started the car. Steve glanced into the back seat and saw that it was packed with stuff all covered with two thick blankets. Looking at Mike again curiously he asked.

"MIKE! Are you sure we're only going for four days! Looks like you've packed enough stuff for a month!"

Mike just chuckled and thought about his upcoming surprise.

"Well, you can never be too careful buddy boy. Better to have plenty of things with us just in case, besides ... when I go fishing I do it in style!"

Then noticing Steve looking slightly nervous, he didn't pull off just yet, but instead he turned to his partner.

"You ok Steve? You're not feeling anxious are you? Because if you are I'd rather you tell me, than try to hide it from me now! If at all possible I'd like you to keep down that broth I made this time!"

"Don't worry Mike. I'm ok ... I'm a little anxious but not like before. Honest! Can I ask you one thing though?"

Mike looked slightly worried.

"Sure ... go ahead."

"When we're fishing ... can I use lures instead of those ... worms?"

Mike burst out laughing causing Steve to smile too as Mike's laugh was always infectious.

"What? What's so funny? It's a straightforward question?"

Mike stopped laughing and answered still a little giddy.

"Sure buddy boy, you can use whatever you want to use!"

Then remembering something he had forgotten he reached into his trench coat pocket and rummaged for something. Steve watched him closely wondering what he was searching for.

"Say, you know I almost forgot something with everything that's happened today!"

"What's that?" Steve asked as Mike pulled a packet of sunflower seeds from his pocket and dropped them into Steve's lap.

"See! I remembered!"

Steve stared at the packet on his lap and then at his partner and in that instant he felt very lucky to have a friend like Mike. As Mike checked his mirrors and drove off, Steve picked up the packet and was touched by Mike's thoughtfulness. Feeling better about this weekend, just knowing that Mike would be there to help him through it, Steve smiled over at his partner.

"Thanks Mike."

And as Mike smiled back at Steve briefly to acknowledge Steve's gratitude and then returned to his driving, Steve put the seeds in the pocket of his jacket, put on his sunglasses and leaned his head back against the seat and covering himself with his jacket, he closed his eyes as the movement of the car lulled him back to sleep.

**A/N**: **I'd like to dedicate this chapter to the memory of my beloved mother who left us 21 months ago. Tomorrow was her birthday and the second one without her. :-( I included some Helen Stone memories as a tribute to her. .. NEVER FORGOTTEN, ALWAYS IN OUR HEARTS! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Going Home**

** A/N : Thank you to all those who have waited patiently for this story to be updated. Having two stories ongoing is proving quite challenging but I am trying to keep them both regularly updated. I appreciate your understanding in this matter.  
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**Also a big heartfelt thank you to all those who have followed, read and reviewed this story so far. Your kind words keep me motivated.**

**This chapter also proved quite challenging as I am not very familiar with every town in California and while I have become quite familiar with San Francisco thanks to my stories so far I have stepped out of my comfort zone and have relied on Google street maps for much of this journey. Noting that there was a town called Dublin on their route to Modesto I could not resist including it in my story. Actually I thought it quite appropriate for them to stop there.**

** I have tried to research this chapter as best I can in order to keep it as true to life as possible but I appreciate that there may still be inaccuracies. I apologize if I have overlooked anything. I hope you enjoy a rather long chapter eight which covers the drive to Modesto. **

Chapter 8

Mike drove North from De Haro Street and took several more turns heading for the Bay Bridge towards Oakland. He drove more carefully this time while Steve slept on the passenger side not wanting to wake him and definitely not wanting to upset his stomach again. As he drove he cast occasional glances over at his sleeping partner. Steve seemed quite peaceful and showed no major signs of restlessness. He moved and fidgeted a couple of times but Mike put that down to his uncomfortable sleeping position. As he drove over the Bay Bridge Mike admired the view. The sun was getting lower in the sky and it was making the sea shine and glisten magically. The water was relatively calm and the traffic wasn't too congested which made Mike glad that they had left, that bit later than they had intended to.

Crossing the Bay Bridge Mike drove onto the Interstate 80E. He wanted to get to Modesto before dark so he had worked out that this would be the fastest route so continuing on he took the Interstate 580E exit and headed towards Stockton. The drive was an easy one as the roads were good and the traffic was light enough but the stresses and strains of the day were starting to take their toll on the older detective and he was starting to feel tired. His gas was running low aswell so forty minutes into their journey Mike decided that after yawning for the tenth time in as many minutes he needed to gas up the car and fill himself up on some caffeine. Taking another exit he drove towards Dublin and to a gas station on his map on Dublin Boulevard.

As he drove into the gas station, Mike brought the car to a stop and sighing heavily he rubbed at his tired eyes and glancing once more at Steve who was still asleep, he then exited the car and filled up the car with gas. Then he headed into the store to pay. As he stood in the queue to pay he again glanced out the window at the car and was sure he saw Steve stirring and waking so he purchased two hot cups of coffee and a bag of sugared doughnuts that he couldn't resist buying aswell.

Returning to the car he sat into the driver seat and sure enough Steve was drowsily stretching and looking around trying to figure out where they were. The motion of the car had kept him asleep but the fact that they had stopped seemed to have roused him awake.

"You alright buddy boy?" Mike asked slightly concerned by how disoriented he still seemed to be.

"Yeah ... I'm ok. We're not here already are we?" Steve answered still struggling to find some familiar landmark that he recognized.

Mike smiled and patted Steve's arm.

"No, we still have another hour drive ahead of us. I just had to fill up on gas and I needed a pick me up. Here! I thought you might need one too! Get that down you! "

Mike handed the steaming cup of coffee to Steve, who sat himself up somewhat gingerly, trying to ignore the crick in his neck from where he was lying against the back of the seat. As he sat up his jacket fell down to his lap and he stretched again trying to ease out the stiff muscles that had manifested themselves all over his legs and lower back. Removing his sunglasses he accepted the hot beverage gratefully.

"Thanks Mike! Hey, remind me never to fall asleep in the car again will you?" Steve replied as he sat up a little straighter and rubbed at his lower back and groaned subconsciously as he did.

Mike chuckled at Steve's statement but did sympathize with how sore and stiff he seemed to be.

"Ok, buddy boy. Sore huh?"

"Yeah, I've got aches in places I didn't know I had places!"

This made Mike laugh out loud and Steve couldn't help but laugh too despite his aching muscles. Taking a large mouthful of his coffee and swallowing, Steve grimaced and protested.

"MIKE! Will you please stop filling every drink you give me with sugar! I think it's safe to say you've managed to raise my blood sugar through the roof by now!"

Again Mike laughed.

"Ok, ok. Take it easy! I will. I promise. But just drink that one for me will you please? Just to humour me huh?"

Steve looked at his partner exasperated but seeing his pleading and smiling face, he couldn't stay that way for long, so he smiled back.

"Ok, but next time one sugar only please ! Alright?"

Mike made a serious face on purpose and making a gesture on his chest he stated.

"Cross my heart!"

This made Steve laugh and Mike joined him. Mike always knew how to make him laugh. It was something he always admired in the older detective. Even when sometimes in the past during cases or when life had been tough and Steve felt that perhaps he would never be able to smile again, Mike always came through and said something or did something that broke through the gloom and had him cheered up despite himself. Even now, sitting in a car miles from home, not exactly sure where he was and very unsure about where he was heading, sore and tired, and drinking the sweetest coffee he had ever had the displeasure to drink, Mike still managed to raise a laugh from somewhere inside him. Looking gratefully at Mike, Steve grimaced again as he swallowed more of the sugary coffee and once again looked around to try to figure out if he could spot a sign that would give him a clue as to where they were. Not proving successful he gave up.

"Say where are we anyway? I don't recognize this place Mike."

"We're in Dublin, just off the Interstate 580E. It's named after the capital city of Ireland you know?"

"Well, I didn't know ... but I had guessed that, yeah. I don't think I've ever stopped here before though. Have you been here before Mike?

"Yes, a good few times but not for over ten years now. Helen used to have friends who lived here. We used to visit them a good bit."

"Were they Irish?"

"Their ancestors were I think. They were a nice couple. The wife died two years before Helen. She'd been sick for a long time. The last time I was here was for her funeral. I lost touch with Tom after that. I think he moved to Los Angeles ..."

Mike trailed off lost in his memories and Steve studied him closely hoping he hadn't upset the older man by his questions. The silence became stifling and Steve cleared his throat to bring Mike out of his memories. It worked and Mike abruptly came back to the present and remembering the bag of doughnuts he opened it up and offered the bag towards Steve.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Here, would you like one?"

Steve looked in the bag and saw the doughnuts.

"More sugar huh?"

Mike laughed.

"Well, they smell good and they taste good!" Mike defended, taking a bite from one and savouring the taste. "Are you sure you don't want one?"

"No, thanks, I'll pass. I think I've had quite enough sugar for one day. Actually I think I'll just stretch my legs for a minute while you enjoy those." And with that Steve drank back the last of his coffee reluctantly and opened the car door and got out.

Mike smiled as he watched Steve stretch and bend and touch his toes trying to loosen out the tension that had developed in his lower back and legs. Next he saw him twist his neck from side to side to loosen out the crick and then he rubbed the back of his neck firmly. Then he bent down and looked in the passenger window at Mike.

"You feeling better now?" Mike asked and Steve smiled.

"Yeah, I think I've eased out most of the knots. Listen, I'm going to get something in the store. You want anything?"

"No, I'm fine. You go ahead. But we better get moving again soon. I want to get to Modesto before dark."

"Ok, I won't be a minute."

Steve walked off towards the store and Mike finished his doughnut and coffee and wiped the sugar off his mouth using his reliable handkerchief. He still felt tired but the coffee had perked him up a little and the doughnuts had given him a sugar boost. True to his word Steve wasn't long and Mike saw him heading back still walking a little stiffly. He was eating an apple and Mike was pleased to see him eating something without having to be coaxed to. He came around to the driver side.

"Very healthy!" Mike remarked smiling at the younger man and then he added."You ready to go?"

"Yeah, why don't you let me drive for a while huh? You take a break Mike. You look tired yourself."

Mike studied Steve to see if he was really up to driving.

"You sure you're up to driving?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Mike. That forty winks and the coffee woke me up. Slide over and I'll take over for a while."

Inwardly glad of the break, Mike slid over and let Steve into the driver's seat. Steve continued to crunch his apple and when it was gone he reached out the driver's window and deposited the remains in a trash bin. Then getting himself comfortable behind the wheel, he started up the car and drove off out of the gas station.

"You know how to get back to the Interstate?"

Steve smiled over confidently at Mike.

"Yeah, they gave me directions in the store ..."

"Now that's using your head buddy boy! "Mike said chuckling "Maybe you really are feeling better!"

They drove on in companionable silence and soon they were back on track and heading for Modesto. Steve was driving a little faster than Mike had been but Mike didn't mind. Steve was an excellent driver and as such would make good time getting to Modesto, motoring along as he was. As Mike pulled his fedora down over his eyes and rested his head for a moment against the passenger window, Steve glanced sideways at his partner.

"You should try to get some shut-eye too Mike. You said yourself we have another hour to go and you could use some rest."

"And end up stiff and sore like you did? No thank you! These old bones would ache a lot more than yours did and yours seemed to be smarting pretty good the way you were wincing. No, I'm just going to rest my eyes for a while that's all!"

Steve smiled and resumed his attention to his driving. As he drove he began to remember the last time he had headed down home to Modesto. It had been just after he had decided to give up Law and had decided to join the Police Academy. It had been around Thanksgiving and Steve shuddered involuntarily as he remembered how badly that weekend had turned out. He was so caught up in his memories that he didn't notice the pick up truck that was passing him out, a little too close to him until it was almost touching the side of his car. When Steve finally spotted it in his side mirror, he panicked slightly and swerved the car hard to the right, to avoid contact, causing Mike to bang his head off the passenger window lightly in the process.

As Mike opened his eyes with a start, pushed his fedora up on his head and sat up straight, trying to figure out what had just happened, he rubbed the side of his head and stared at Steve who was shouting out the driver's window angrily.

"Hey, watch it will you! You're going to kill someone driving like that! Of all the stupid ... !"

The driver of the pick up had passed Steve by now and made a rude gesture out his window at Steve and Steve felt his blood boil. Seeing Steve getting angry Mike put a hand over on the young man's shoulder and tried to calm him.

"Hey, easy now! Don't get all riled up! What happened?"

Still angry as hell and also shaken by the close call they had just had, Steve answered breathlessly but still with fury in his voice.

"That joker up ahead almost side swiped us when he was passing us out! He's probably high as a kite or drunk as a skunk! One or the other!"

Seeing how shook Steve was, Mike wondered if he should have let the young man drive at all under the circumstances. But reading the young man's mind and facial expression he immediately interjected.

"Now, you get that thought out of your head Steve ! Let him off! We're out of our jurisdiction here remember? And anyway, we're supposed to be coming down here for a relaxing weekend. Ok? Just let it go now!"

Steve looked at Mike amazed that once again he knew exactly what he had contemplated but Mike's wisdom as usual made sense. There really wouldn't be any point in chasing the guy down and rousting him with their out of jurisdiction SFPD badges so he calmed himself down as the pick up increased speed and headed out of sight in the distance, but he had made a mental note of the plate number just in case he was ever fortunate enough to run into him again.

Only then as his temper cooled and the pick up disappeared did Steve realize that Mike was rubbing the side of his head gingerly and he realized that his sudden swerve had caused Mike to bang his head. Now as alarm and guilt replaced his anger he reached out to Mike.

"Is your head ok? Oh my God! I didn't realize you banged it when I swerved. I'm so sorry Mike. Maybe we should pull over so I can take a look at it! "

Mike chuckled and attempted to reassure him.

"Steve! Relax! I didn't bang it that hard and anyway I have a hard head! I'm fine! Besides it's you I'm worried about! You're wound up tighter than a two dollar watch. Are you ok?"

Steve stared at Mike and knew he was right. That incident had rattled him more than it normally would have and once more, Steve cursed his out of control emotions that had caused him nothing but trouble over the last few days. Dragging his eyes back to the road, he answered more quietly and subdued than Mike would have liked him to.

"Yeah, I'm ok Mike. That near miss just shook me a little that's all!"

"You want me to drive again?"

"No, no I can drive. Honest! You go back to resting your eyes Mike! I promise I won't go swerving again."

Mike studied his partner and could see that he was quite shaken but if he said he was ok to drive he would have to believe him for now but he intended to keep a closer eye on him.

"Ok, but I think I feel more awake now. I think I'll just admire the view from here." and he sat up straighter and looked out his passenger window. But as they drove on further Mike couldn't help but watch Steve as he drove and started to wonder if getting closer to Modesto was causing some of the young man's nervousness. He began to wonder if maybe he had been distracted back there when the near accident had happened. Eventually breaking the silence he questioned Steve gently.

"Steve ... were you thinking about Modesto back there?"

Knowing what Mike was thinking, Steve felt himself getting defensive.

"It wasn't my fault Mike!"

Not meaning to upset Steve, Mike again reached out and placed a calming hand on Steve's shoulder and was shocked at the amount of tension he could feel in the young man's muscles so he quickly replied.

"Ok, ok now. I wasn't blaming you! Calm down! I'm on your side remember? I was just asking. That's all."

Steve looked at Mike briefly and then turned back to look at the road. He was more annoyed with himself than anyone else and knowing that Mike had sussed him out he knew that he had better tell Mike the truth. Glancing once more over at his partner briefly, he looked back at the road and confessed.

"I was ... thinking about stuff just before it happened Mike but that joker was way too close! He was the one driving recklessly not me! Honest Mike!"

"Ok, alright. You didn't have to be a detective to see that guy was driving dangerously! I believe you. Ok?"

Steve nodded, grateful for his partner's faith in him. Again silence settled in the car until Mike made up his mind to get the young man to talk it out as Lenny had suggested he should do, every time Steve clammed up over the weekend.

"What were you thinking about buddy boy?"

Steve sighed unintentionally. He knew Mike was trying to get him to talk about Modesto probably under Lenny's prior instructions. It was one of the parts of this weekend he hadn't been looking forward to. He knew he could tell Mike he didn't want to talk about it and Mike would most likely let the subject drop but then he would end up feeling bad for not confiding in his partner so he felt slightly trapped between a rock and a hard place so taking a deep steadying breath he decided it was best to just get it over with. He kept his eyes on the road though. Somehow that was easier.

"I was thinking ... about the last time I drove down here to Modesto ..."

There had been an unnaturally long silence prior to Steve's pained response and Mike figured he had been deciding whether to talk about it or not. He was proud of Steve for the obvious decision he had made and in that instant he knew they had made progress, however small on the road to Steve's recovery.

"When was that exactly Steve?"

"A long time ago ... " Steve trailed off, wondering if he would get away with leaving it at that but a quick sideways glance at Mike saw Mike's curiosity aroused and knew he would have to spill everything before Mike would let the subject drop. So returning his eyes to the road ahead he continued nervously.

"It was when I decided to give up Law and join the Police Academy. It was a Thanksgiving weekend. I headed back to ... break the news to my aunt and uncle ..."

Mike was studying Steve closely and knew even by his body language and the tone of his voice that this particular story didn't have a happy ending.

"How did it go?" Mike asked cautiously and he wasn't surprised when Steve's answer wasn't forthcoming but instead Steve seemed to be locked in the unpleasant memory of that time.

After a lengthy pause, Steve finally answered sadly.

"I've had better weekends ..."

He really wanted to leave it at that. His insides were starting to churn at the thoughts of recounting the sorry tale and his heart-felt like it was starting to race. He once more looked at Mike this time almost pleadingly, begging him to change the subject and talk about something else ... anything else!" Mike caught the look and his heart went out to his partner. He knew that whatever those memories were, they were quite obviously painful ones and the last thing he ever wanted to do was upset Steve but Lenny had warned him that there would be times over the weekend that for Steve's ultimate good he would have to push the young man to release his demons and so not feeling very good about it he reluctantly probed further.

"They didn't take it too well huh?"

A lump formed in Steve's throat as he heard the older man's question. Knowing that there was no way out of this situation and knowing that Lenny had coached his partner well, he swallowed hard and while staring dolefully out the windscreen he recounted the story with great difficulty.

"After I had arrived, I tried to tell them my news but I never seemed to get the opportunity. Anyway we were sitting down at dinner and Melissa asked me how college was going. And I couldn't stand it any longer so I blurted it right out, while Uncle Henry was carving the turkey ..."

"Right in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner?" Mike asked now knowing in his heart that this story wouldn't end well. "Well, I guess that went down like a lead balloon. Huh?"

"Yeah, pretty much. There was this silence. It seemed to last a lifetime. Aunt Rose took it well but she always did, and Melissa and Robbie ... well they were a little stunned I guess. They smiled politely but everyone was looking at Henry ..."

"Go on ..." Mike coaxed, placing his hand back on Steve's shoulder and squeezing gently as a show of support, seeing Steve having difficulty continuing.

Steve felt like the lump in his throat was about to choke him. He had never told anyone this story and he had always preferred it that way but now Mike was asking him to share it. Mike ... the one person he made it his business never to lie to and never to let down. Mike ... the only other person in his life since Harry that he had ever made that rule about. It was as if he knew he had no choice but to tell him everything even though his heart was screaming at him not to. He glanced at Mike again and saw the sympathy in his partner's eyes. He looked back at the road just as quick, glad of the distraction of driving not to have to maintain eye contact as he spoke.

"He freaked out and ... and he came at me. He was furious. He said I was ungrateful and selfish ... that I had wasted the college money that Harry had left me. He ... he still had the knife in his hand and he looked like he wanted to use it ..." Steve's voice broke as his mind revisited the horror of that night and he was unable to continue.

Mike's heart skipped a beat as he processed what Steve had just told him. He heard Steve getting upset and again squeezed Steve's shoulder harder this time.

"Steve! I don't know what to say ... did he? ... " Mike didn't finish the question, almost afraid of the answer he would get but Steve knew what he was asking and swallowing back the emotion that was threatening to overwhelm him he found strength from Mike's hand on his shoulder and he answered.

"No ... Aunt Rose took the knife from him. She was pleading with him to sit back down. Robbie had grabbed his arm and was trying to hold him and Melissa was screaming. Aunt Rose was crying and Mikey ... he just sat there laughing, like he found the whole thing amusing ... "

In that instant Mike decided he didn't care much for Mikey as his blood boiled at the thoughts of him laughing at such a serious, disturbing situation.

"What did you do buddy boy? Did he calm down?"

"I just sat there Mike ... pathetic huh? I knew he'd be angry but I hadn't quite expected that level of hostility. He seemed to calm down and ... Robbie let him go and he swung for me. He caught me right on the jaw and sent me flying backwards off the chair ... I guess I should have stood my ground but I just got up, went and got my stuff and left ..."

Steve stopped talking for a few minutes and Mike could see how annoyed he was at how he had handled the whole situation.

"That's nothing to be ashamed of Steve. You did nothing wrong. It took more courage to walk away like you did than to lower yourself to his level. What happened then?"

"Aunt Rose and Melissa followed me out to my car. They were crying and begging me to come back inside. But I ... just couldn't ... I said I was sorry and drove off. It was snowing lightly and it was just after ten at night. My jaw was a bit sore but I guess the shock stopped me noticing it for a while. I was about half way back when the pain started. I pulled over and used some of the snow to cool it down. My jaw had swollen and I just realized then that my lip was split. When I'd numbed it enough I was able to make it the rest of the way back. But it took over two weeks to heal and for the bruising to die down. I never went back after that! ..."

Steve trailed off again and Mike felt himself getting angry. Boy, he wished he could have a chat with this Henry! The thoughts of Steve having to drive back to San Francisco from Modesto on a dark, cold Thanksgiving night alone and hurt both physically and truth be told emotionally too, broke Mike's heart. He wanted to say something ... anything that would take away Steve's hurt, anything that would make the memories of that night easier to deal with but he struggled to find the right words he needed so instead he patted Steve's shoulder and an awkward silence filled the car.

Steve could see that Mike was horrified by what he had heard and that he was trying to figure out what to say so he decided to save him the trouble.

"Mike ... it's ok. It was just one of those things. It's in the past and that's where it should stay. I should have handled it better ..."

But hearing Steve trying to take the blame for his Uncle's actions made Mike see red.

"Now listen to me buddy boy! That Uncle of yours had no right laying a finger on you no matter what you had just told him! And as for that cousin of yours finding it amusing ... well let me tell you this! You did the right thing that night Steve! And I'm proud of you for leaving like you did. No-one should have to put up with treatment like that especially from so-called family! Why I'd love to give them pair a piece of my mind! ..."

Mike was getting all riled up and Steve was taken back by how angry he was at how they had treated him. He knew he had to calm him down but inwardly he was very moved by Mike's protectiveness and concern for him.

"Hey, hey, easy Mike ... It was a long time ago. " Steve said looking gratefully at the older man.

Mike caught the look and knew he had gotten carried away but he could see the gratitude in Steve's eyes too.

"Sorry ... just makes me see red that's all. They had no right to treat you like that! Some people ... well they need a good talking to that's for sure!" and with that he turned away from Steve and looked out the passenger window again, mainly in a vain attempt to cool his temper and give himself a chance to compose himself.

Steve smiled at Mike even though he wasn't looking at him. He wondered if he was volunteering to give them that talking to and smiled at the thought of how that would turn out. He didn't fancy Henry and Mikey's odds in that fight and somehow that thought cheered him up. He concentrated again on his driving and was comforted once more by the fact that Mike was with him for this weekend and as he picked up speed a little, he figured they were now around thirty minutes from Modesto.


	9. Chapter 9

**Going Home **

**A/N: Firstly apologies for the delay in updating this story. Unfortunately I have had a bad week. My young son ended up in the hospital with a nasty virus and only got home yesterday so things have been hectic. Thankfully he is much better and I have managed to get the next chapter written.**

**Secondly, thank you to all those who read and kindly reviewed my last chapter. I really appreciate you all.**

**Again I have researched this chapter as best I can and tried to keep the details as real as possible, but not being familiar with the environs of Modesto, California I have used a certain amount of poetic licence to add my own made up details too. I hope you enjoy another particularly long chapter.  
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Chapter 9

As Steve drove on he remained quiet, focussed on the road ahead but inwardly reliving the awful memories of that Thanksgiving night all those years ago. Mike had calmed down but noticed and worried about how quiet Steve was. However after the last painful revelation, he was reluctant to ask him anything more, deciding that perhaps silence was the best thing for now. At the comfortable speed that Steve was driving at, Mike soon found his tired and heavy eyelids closing and he drifted off into a much-needed sleep.

Steve glanced across at Mike and saw the older man sleeping and smiled to himself. He knew that Mike had been up early thanks to his early morning phone call and he also knew that unlike the few forty winks that he had managed to get throughout the day, Mike had no sleep whatsoever, therefore he knew Mike badly needed some well deserved rest. However, the nearer they got to Modesto the more Steve felt his anxiety rise. He tried to remember Lenny's advice. Breathe nice and slowly and talk it out with Mike. Yes, that was it! But one more quick glance over at the sleeping form of his partner and he knew he didn't have the heart to wake him. He would just have to try to deal with it himself. He took a few deep breaths and tried to concentrate on his driving but the memories of that night refused to leave him in peace. It was as if talking about it again after such a long time had reawakened all the hurt he had felt, and more and more long forgotten details filled his mind. He remembered all the hurtful things his Uncle Henry had said to him. His words were like knives stabbing him in the heart and he heard then all again, over and over in his brain.

"You'll never amount to anything ... I knew you'd give up college ... I told Rose but she wouldn't listen. See, I was right! Harry would turn in his grave to hear what you've done. Of all the selfish things to do! You'll never make it as a cop. You haven't got the guts for it. You won't last a month on the streets. They'll eat you up and spit you out ... And good enough for you! You're a no-good quitter! You hear me Steve? A no-good quitter! I told Rose you were trouble ! I told her but she insisted on taking you in ... But I never wanted you in this house. Just get out! You're not welcome here anymore ... GET OUT! "

They were the last words Henry had said to him. He remembered every word clearly and remembered his Aunt Rose's torn expression. She had tried to calm Henry down to no avail and her tear filled eyes looked at Steve sadly knowing how deeply his words had hurt him. She had looked on horrified as Henry had hit him and screamed as she saw the blood dripping from his lip and the swelling of his jaw. She was visibly torn between them but had stayed beside her husband as Steve had gathered his stuff. He didn't blame her though. She was very loyal to Henry and for the life of him, while living there, Steve could never understand why? But he admired her loyalty and always thought that perhaps inwardly she was scared of standing up to him. It was only when Steve had headed out the door, with courage from Melissa, they had followed him outside and begged him not to go. But by then Steve knew he could never set foot back in there again.

As those memories surfaced, Steve fought the emotion that threatened to overwhelm him as he drove. One tear escaped and he wiped it away, all the time watching, in case Mike saw his latest upset. He passed a sign that Modesto was just four miles out and his heart started to pound in his chest. It was beating so fast he could hear it ringing in his ears. His breathing was slightly faster too and he tried his best to slow it down. He could feel the anxiety attack take hold and he was unable to stop it. He started to feel sick and feared the worst. He looked at Mike and thought about waking him but he just couldn't bring himself to. He had to get a handle on it himself. He tried to focus on his driving and it did help somewhat, but the nausea worsened and the bile rose in his throat. He swallowed hard but it didn't help. He knew it was no use fighting it as he remembered how worse it had been when he had fought it that morning so he took the first exit off the freeway and a little way along, Steve pulled in safely at the side of the road.

Steve put his head forward on the cool steering wheel and tried to breathe through the nausea but his stomach was churning and he gagged involuntarily. Opening the driver's door as quietly as he could so as not to disturb Mike, Steve left it open as he bolted from the car to the railing at the side of the road. Leaning over it he felt the cool evening breeze blowing towards him and he sucked in the fresh air hoping that it would stop him from being sick. As he stood leaning over the railing he shivered slightly wishing he had taken his jacket with him from the car but not daring to move a muscle as he continued to fight the distinct urge to throw up.

The cool evening breeze blew through the open driver's door and woke Mike. As he sat upright and rubbed his eyes he wondered where the evening chill had come from and on seeing the open door and Steve missing, his heart skipped a beat. He sat bolt upright and studied his surroundings trying to see if he could spot Steve and also trying to figure out where they were. Then he saw Steve a little ways behind the car leaning over the railing and feared the worst. Exiting the car he raced to where Steve was and as he got closer he didn't like the look of his partner's pallor and demeanor.

"STEVE! Are you ok? What's the matter?"

When Steve heard Mike heading towards him, he sighed. He had hoped that Mike would stay asleep and that he could make the nausea go away and resume his driving before Mike was ever aware of yet another episode of weakness from him but it wasn't to be. So almost breathlessly he answered.

"Mike, don't fuss! ... I just felt like I was going to be sick ... I just needed some fresh air that's all ... I'll be ok in a minute."

Mike studied Steve closely and could see him fighting the nausea with all his will. He knew Steve had eaten very little and really had hoped that he would manage to keep what little he had eaten down, so he encouraged him to breathe through it and rubbed his back comfortingly. He felt Steve shiver and racing back to the car he fetched Steve's jacket and returning with equal speed to his partner, he placed the jacket around his shoulders. Steve who by this time was almost chattering from the evening chill and the nausea, nodded gratefully at Mike for the respite the jacket gave him. After several minutes and plenty of gulps of fresh air and the comforting presence of his partner, Steve's nausea finally started to ease. Mike saw the change and broke the silence.

"You ok now? Is it any easier buddy boy?"

"Yeah ... I think it's going away ..."

"You did good to keep it down buddy boy. God knows, you haven't eaten much today. Did the nausea come on suddenly?"

Steve looked straight at his partner and knew he couldn't lie.

"No, it started a while back but it kept getting worse the more I drove." he admitted.

"Steve, you should have woken me! "

"Yeah, I know, I know. But you looked really tired. I didn't want to wake you. I thought I could handle it myself!"

And then as he felt himself getting upset he hit the railing with his fist out of pure frustration with the whole situation he found himself in and added.

"DAMN IT! Mike I hate being like this ..."

Mike felt sorry for the young man and rarely witnessed such an outburst from his usually quiet partner. The same partner who always bottled things up and never expressed truly how he was feeling. While it startled him at first, he was actually glad for once to see Steve venting his frustration and letting it out. As Steve brushed a shaking hand through his hair and refused to look Mike in the eye, Mike placed a fatherly arm around his shoulders.

"Ok, ok, I know you do. And I know you're fed up and anxious about this trip but everything is going to be fine, you'll see."

Steve appreciated what Mike was trying to do but he found it hard to believe that anything about this trip was going to turn out fine. Seeing that Steve in his current state, was not buying the words of comfort he was selling, Mike changed tactics. He noted for the first time the view that was in front of them. A vineyard stretched out for miles in the distance and the sun was setting and bathed it in a red glow. Looking at Steve in a sideways glance, he tried diversionary tactics instead.

"The view sure is beautiful around here. I never realized. Why that sunset would almost take your breath away. You sure were lucky growing up in such a beautiful place Steve!"

Steve like Mike hadn't paid any heed to the view until Mike mentioned it and now looking at it he did see the beauty in it.

"Yeah, it is beautiful alright ..."

As Mike stood beside Steve and saw him admiring the view he prided himself in distracting the young man even momentarily from his misery and finding the right moment he squeezed the young man's shoulder.

"If you're feeling ok now, let's get back in the car. You sit in the passenger seat and I'll drive the last bit of the way. Ok?"

Steve just nodded wearily at Mike and made his way back to the car and got into the passenger seat. The fact that he didn't even protest made Mike worry all the more. He knew Steve was fed up and had suffered enough upset over the last four days and he only hoped that the surprise he had planned would help to lift his spirits. Taking one last look at the view, Mike quickly followed Steve and sat into the driver's seat. The roles were reversed and Steve was now leaning his head on the passenger window, not looking at Mike, all covered up in his jacket and still shivering slightly. Mike started the engine to warm up the car and then realized he wasn't sure where they were.

"Steve, did you come off the freeway?"

Steve seemed to be lost in his thoughts but he sat more upright when he heard Mike's question and answered as normally as his tired and emotionally wrecked voice could manage.

"Yeah, I took the first exit for ... Modesto. Continue on here for about four miles and we'll be there ... "

Steve trailed off hoping he had directed Mike clearly enough and inwardly cursing the fact that he couldn't even bring himself to say the name Modesto now! He knew Mike being ever observant would have noticed that and turned his attention back out his passenger window, annoyed with himself and feeling lousy. Mike had noticed it and quickly asked his next question not to let on that he had.

"How do I get back to the freeway?"

Steve was surprised by the question.

"Why do you need to get back to the freeway? ... Modesto is just up further."

"I'll explain later. Now would you please just tell me how I get back to the freeway?"

Mike wasn't giving any information away so Steve went along with him.

"About a mile up this road you can get back onto it."

"Thanks" was all Mike said as he pulled out and drove off noticing the curious looks Steve was giving him.

Mike found the freeway again and Steve wondered what was going on. Not wanting to question Mike too much he just figured that wherever they were staying was at the furthest exit to Modesto and so he kept quiet. Until they passed the second and last exit for Modesto. Then Steve couldn't stay quiet any longer.

"MIKE ! You just passed the exit!" Steve said looking back at it and wondering at this stage if Mike even knew where he was going. But one glance at Mike saw that he wasn't the least bit rattled at what Steve had just said. Smiling over at Steve he merely said.

"Relax buddy boy! I know where I'm going. Everything's alright." and then lowering his voice slightly not knowing how Steve would take the news, he added." And anyway, we're not staying in Modesto ..."

Steve's jaw dropped and he looked at Mike strangely.

"We're not? Then where are we staying?"

"Just a little further out. A friend of mine has arranged somewhere for us to stay. We're meeting him shortly."

Mike kept his eyes on the road as the dusk settled and the light was dimming. He didn't look at Steve but he could feel the young man's eyes staring at him curiously and somewhat nervously.

"A friend of yours?"

"Steve! You're starting to sound like a parrot. You don't have to repeat everything I say you know. Yes, it's an old friend of mine from years ago. We were in the Academy together. He was a year ahead of me. He retired from the SFPD early and came out to live this way. He took a new job out here and settled down. I hadn't spoken to him for a while but when I was organizing this trip I remembered him and I called him and he arranged a place for us to stay. Ok? Now you know."

Steve chuckled at the parrot comment and then answered.

"Ok. Sorry. Do I know him?"

"No, it was way before your time. But you'll like him. He was always quite a character."

Steve felt himself getting anxious again. He started to wonder about this "friend" and hoped that Mike wasn't going to spring anymore surprises on him this evening. He wasn't really sure that he was even up to any more surprises. Then his mind started racing. What if the "friend" was just a ploy and Mike had actually arranged for them to stay with Aunt Rose and Uncle Henry! Steve felt the anxiety rise within him again. No, Mike wouldn't do that, he persuaded himself, especially not after what Steve had just told him. Or would he think he was helping by reconciling them? He couldn't get the thought out of his head so more nervously than he had intended he asked Mike out straight.

"Mike are we really meeting a friend of yours? You haven't arranged for us to stay ... in Rose's have you?"

Mike heard the panic in Steve's voice and felt bad that he had worried him. He really wanted to keep his surprise a little longer but he knew he had to dispel what was obviously Steve's worst fear so he looked at Steve briefly and answered quickly.

"No Steve! I haven't contacted them at all. I swear to you. We're genuinely meeting a friend of mine. I just thought it would be better if we stayed somewhere outside Modesto under the circumstances. That's all. Now don't go getting all worked up again. Ok? Relax. We're almost there now."

Steve breathed a sigh of relief. He sat back in the seat and decided to trust Mike. He was getting tired of worrying about every little thing anyway and so he just sat quietly and took note of where they were heading. As Mike took a certain turn though, his curiosity got the better of him. Unable to stay quiet, for the second time, he spoke again to Mike.

"Mike! This is a no through road. It leads to the airport! "

"Relax Steve! I know!" Mike said and he continued driving purposefully.

Steve began to wonder was his tiredness getting the better of him, but still not understanding what was happening, he questioned Mike some more.

"You know?"

Mike began to chuckle.

"Steve! You're doing it again! Repeating what I have just said!"

"Sorry, but I don't understand Mike. Does your friend work at the airport?"

"No! Now will you stop asking questions and just trust me please?"

They drove on and passed the airport and turned onto a small dirt track and Steve again became concerned. He turned openmouthed to question Mike again but Mike had anticipated it and wagged his finger at Steve.

"Ah, ah, no questions remember?"

Steve closed his mouth again but the curiosity was killing him.

Mike drove on a little further and they approached a car in the distance.

"Ah, there's Gerry now." Mike said, as a broad smile covered his face.

Steve squinted at the car ahead in the distance. Night was falling fast and Steve worked out that there was probably no more than a half hour of light left. Then he saw the logo on the side of the other man's car. He was a Park Ranger! And just along the track aways was Tuolumne River Regional Park! Steve remembered now! Harry had brought him here many times to fish and hike. Steve glanced at the amount of stuff and equipment in the back of the car and he suddenly felt a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach. But before he had a chance to say anything Mike had stopped the car, got out and had hurried towards his friend. Steve quickly exited the car and followed him. From the few steps he was behind, Steve saw how happy the two friends were to be reunited. They shook hands and exchanged small talk. Steve hung back feeling slightly awkward and not wanting to just butt into the conversation but after only a minute or two, Mike turned and beckoned to him to come closer.

"Steve! Come on. I want you to meet a very dear friend of mine! This is Gerry Palmer and Gerry, this is my partner now, Steve Keller."

As Mike introduced the two men, Gerry reached out a friendly hand and shook Steve's hand warmly.

"Nice to meet you young fella. So you're saddled with the old codger now huh? I bet he still gets his partner to type up all the reports. Am I right? " Gerry said teasingly as Mike laughed.

Steve couldn't help but laugh too.

"Well, now that you mention it ..."

Mike stopped him.

"Watch what you say next buddy boy! We've got a long weekend ahead of us!" Mike said still laughing.

"Nah, he's ok Gerry. He has his moments." Steve replied.

"I see you have him well-trained Mike. Well, let's get on. You guys are running a bit late and you don't have much daylight left. Get back in your car and follow me. You can park five minutes from the site and get set up before dark if you hurry."

With that Gerry turned and got back in his car and Mike quickly avoided Steve's openmouthed stare as he realized his worst fears had just been realized, and headed back towards their car shouting back over his shoulder as he went.

"Well, come on Steve! Don't just stand there catching flies! You heard the man! Let's go!"

Steve recovered from the shock and ran after Mike and getting into the car Mike quickly drove after Gerry.

"We're camping aren't we? In the park? Oh Mike, you've got to be kidding me!"

Mike smiled to himself, amazed that Steve had only figured out his plan now and knowing that his surprise had been sprung, he conceded.

"Now, now. Relax ok? It will be fun. Don't worry! Where's your adventurous spirit?"

"I think I must have left it back in San Francisco! Do you know how cold it gets in the evenings at this time of the year out here Mike?"

"Oh come on! You brought your sweaters and we have sleeping bags and everything we need. Come on, it will be fun I promise! Haven't you ever gone camping before?"

"Yeah, of course I have ... when I was a kid! Aren't we a little long in the tooth Mike for camping out in the woods?" Steve asked not really feeling that Mike had thought this idea through very well.

"Speak for yourself!" Mike teased and then seeing Steve's anxious expression he continued calmly. " Listen Steve! Gerry's gone to a lot of trouble to arrange this for us ok? Nowadays you need camping permits and all sorts of permissions to stay here but Gerry has sorted everything out for us. So let's just be grateful and go along with it please? Come on! For me huh? You might even end up enjoying it. What do you say? Huh?"

Mike looked at him with his best pleading expression, the one he knew Steve couldn't say no to and smiled to himself as Steve caved in just like he knew he would.

"Ok Mike! Whatever you want! Just remember that I said this was a bad idea. Ok?"

"Duly noted" Mike teased and then parked the car where Gerry showed him. It was almost dark but Steve could make out a couple of wooden buildings beside the car park. As they exited the car Gerry approached them.

"The campsite is just up that trail a little ways." Gerry then pointed over to the wooden outbuildings that Steve had noticed. "Over there, are toilets and shower facilities. Here's the keys. No-one else is staying in this part of the park at the minute so you should have a peaceful stay. If you want to bring your stuff and follow me I'll show you the way to the camp."

Mike opened the back door to the car and took out a large bag tied at the top and then he pulled out two rolled up sleeping bags and a backpack that seemed to be filled with things too.

"Here Steve, help me carry some of this stuff will you?"

Steve walked around to Mike and took the heaviest item from him which was the tent bag and the back pack. Mike handed Steve a flashlight and getting one for himself he then locked up the car and they followed Gerry. They walked down a small forest track and true to his word, no more than five minutes from the car, they came out at a clearing that was no more than a stones throw from the Tuolumne river. It looked like people camped here regularly as there was a circle of stones that seemed to be for a camp fire and an area just to the left had been cleared for a tent. There was also a light and a generator for when darkness fell. Steve had to admit that it was a nice spot. The sound of the fast flowing river and the gentle breeze rustling the leaves in the forest was very calming and Steve just then realized that at least the whole issue of the camping had totally taken his mind off his bad memories from earlier and he wasn't feeling anxious any more. He smiled at Mike who was still talking to Gerry and realized that Mike knew what he was doing after all.

Heading over to where Mike and Gerry were talking he heard the end of the conversation.

"Mike, you can set up your tent over there. The campfire is ready. You just need to gather some sticks for it and remember! ..."

"I know Gerry, make sure it's out before we go to sleep! I remember!" Mike added knowledgeably.

"Ok Mike, well I'm on patrol tonight so I'll look in on you guys and make sure you're ok throughout the night. Enjoy your stay gentlemen. I'll leave you to set up!"

"Ok thanks Gerry ... for everything! I owe you one. You'll have to take that lovely wife of yours for a weekend to San Francisco soon and I can repay the hospitality and show you the sights. What do you say?" Mike said patting the Park ranger affectionately on the back.

"Sounds like you have a deal! That would be great Mike! Thanks! And you're welcome. Glad I could help! Well I'll see you guys later." and then as he turned and headed back up the forest track he shouted back "Oh and Mike, the bear canister is over there, remember what I told you about it?"

Steve's face fell as he heard those last words and he stared at Mike horrified. Mike saw Steve's face and shouted quickly after Gerry.

"Thanks Gerry. I remember, don't worry. See you!"

Steve turned to Mike as soon as Gerry was out of sight.

"Bears! Of course! I almost forgot that there are bears in this forest? I never saw any but Harry used to tell me about them. Mike are you sure it's safe to camp here?"

"Now, now just relax. They don't go near people. It's perfectly safe. You just have to keep food away from the campsite by putting it in a bear canister a good bit away from where you're camping. It's just a precaution that's all. There's absolutely nothing to worry about."

Steve seemed to calm down after Mike said that, but he still remained dubious. Resigning himself to his situation he spoke again.

"Well, I hope you're right. Ok, what do you need me to do?"

"I am, don't worry! And you heard Gerry, he will be keeping a close eye on us throughout the night. Now I'll set up the tent and you go gather some firewood so we can light the fire. It's starting to get cold around here."

"Wait a minute! Gerry just reminded me that there are bears in that forest and you want me to go in there, gathering sticks and it's almost dark? "

"Oh stop acting like a child! You don't have to go in far to find plenty of firewood. Bring your flashlight. You're not going to see any bears! Besides I've got the hard job of putting up the tent. If you get into trouble just shout ok?"

Feeling duly reprimanded, Steve swallowed back his misgivings and putting on his jacket and zipping it up to ward off the evening chill, he picked up his flashlight and resigned himself to his wood collecting. First he looked back at Mike. He had emptied the tent bag out and a rather sad-looking old yellow tent had tumbled out as well as numerous poles. Steve stood and watched Mike trying to figure it out and he couldn't help but smile.

"Mike! How long has it been since you went camping last?"

Mike looked up briefly and looked momentarily embarrassed.

"A few years ago. But don't you worry, I'll have this up in a jiffy! It's a piece of cake! Oh and Steve! Watch out for poison ivy! Leaves ..."

" ... of three, let it be! It's ok Mike. Harry taught me all about it! I won't be long." and with that he turned and headed into the shade of the trees and began gathering sticks. Darkness had begun to fall so Steve turned on his flashlight. There were ample sticks on the ground so it didn't take long for Steve to gather a large armful and return to the campsite. When he cleared the trees he couldn't help but chuckle when he saw that Mike had the campsite light lit and he was still struggling to put up the tent. Mike hadn't seen Steve return and so Steve stood and watched as Mike tried to put it up again only for it to fall straight back down to the ground. As Mike lost his temper and threw the tent on the ground, Steve couldn't hold back the laughter any longer and he laughed heartily.

Mike heard the laughter and turning around he saw Steve returning with the firewood.

"Piece of cake huh?" Steve commented between the giggles.

"Very funny wise guy! Something must have happened to it when it was stored in the garage all this time! It used to be real easy to put up! "

This excuse just made Steve chuckle even more.

"I don't think anything happened to the tent Mike! How long ago is it since you put this up before?" Steve asked reveling in the blushes of his partner and friend.

"I told you a few years ago ..."

"Mike? ..." Steve persisted.

"Ok, ok wise guy. Probably about eighteen ... There, are you happy?"

Steve almost doubled over laughing and Mike could feel his embarrassment and his temper cool as Steve's laughter was infectious. He found himself laughing too and as he watched his partner laughing, he remembered the promise he had made to himself that he would make sure Steve laughed a lot this weekend and suddenly the tent didn't annoy him anymore. In fact he was glad he hadn't been able to put it up as he saw the benefit it had on Steve.

"Here hotshot, if you think it's so funny, you do it. I'll start the fire and fix us some coffee and something to eat." Mike said abandoning his spot by the tent and heading towards the campfire. Steve stopped laughing and holding his midsection he headed over to the tent. Slightly afraid that he had upset the older man by his laughing, he spoke as he went.

"Ok, I'll give it a go, although you know I think it's probably at least that long since I went camping myself. Mike! I'm sorry for laughing ... I don't know what came over me ..."

Realizing by his sudden departure, he had given Steve the wrong impression, he quickly wheeled around and reassured the young man.

"That's ok buddy boy. You don't ever have to apologize to me for laughing. Truth is ... it was good to see you laughing again."

Steve looked gratefully at Mike.

"Well ... I guess it felt good to laugh again too. Now where are the instructions for this thing?"

As Steve looked at Mike, he noted that the older man looked slightly embarrassed again and purposely wasn't answering him.

"Mike? You did bring them right?"

"Of course I did! .. They're over by that rock." he said pointing behind Steve but he still seemed a little flustered.

Steve wheeled behind him and saw the leaflet and picking it up he looked at it and felt himself smiling again.

"Mike? This is only half of them!"

"I know ..." Mike said sheepishly.

"You know? Well where's the other half?"

Mike took several minutes to answer and Steve was getting very curious. Eventually Mike seemed to resign himself to his fate and answered rather quietly.

"The dog ate them! ... Ok? Happy now?"

Steve had to use every ounce of willpower to stop himself from exploding in laughter. Instead, as straight-faced as he could manage he asked.

"The dog? What dog Mike?"

"We had a dog when Jeannie was small. He was just a puppy ... We were camping one time as a family and the dog ... ate the instructions! I pulled that half off him but the other half was chewed beyond recognition. "

Mike could see that Steve was trying his best not to laugh and felt himself finding it funny too.

"It's ok you can laugh! But he was a troublesome dog!" Mike added snickering himself.

Steve laughed but quickly got serious again.

"Ok, well these things happen. I'm sure I can figure it out. It can't be that hard." and he started setting out the poles and sorting them into some sort of order.

He watched as Mike set out the sticks ready to light the fire. Then he watched as Mike took a box of matches from the back pack and proceeded to light it.

"What? You're not going to rub two sticks together?" Steve joked.

"I'll give you two sticks!" Mike teased back, firing two small twigs in Steve's direction.

Steve ducked and they flew over his head. He laughed and in that instant he realized that he hadn't felt this relaxed since the Bay Rescue. Having been very dubious at first about Mike's idea to camp outside, he found himself glad that they had and actually found himself having fun. He looked up and saw Mike stoking the fire and he spoke again.

"Say Mike! I'm glad you took us camping. ... I don't know if it's the fresh air or the outdoors or the good company but I think I feel a bit better. Thanks Mike."

Mike looked up at the young man and saw a spark of the old Steve in his eyes. Glad that he was feeling better and touched by Steve calling him "good company" he smiled warmly at Steve and answered.

"You're welcome ... but the fun has just begun Steve! Wait until the morning when we're pulling rainbow trout from that river over there! That will put the colour back in your cheeks buddy boy!"

As Mike went back to his job of stoking the fire, ready to cook on it, Steve watched him for a few minutes. He felt really lucky to have Mike for a mentor and friend and found himself actually looking forward to the fishing. Snapping himself back out of his thoughts, he returned his attention to getting the tent up and ready.


	10. Chapter 10

**Going Home**

Chapter 10

Soon Mike had the campfire burning nicely. Looking over at Steve, Mike sat for a minute and smiled to himself at how engrossed his partner was in the task at hand. He marvelled at how he was studying the parts closely and then how methodically he was putting all the pieces together. He thought about Steve's words and was inwardly very pleased that Steve was feeling better and he was relieved that the surprise he had planned had worked so well. When Steve had found out they were camping at first he hadn't seemed so keen and Mike had started to worry that maybe he had made the wrong decision but seeing him laughing and enjoying himself now made it all worthwhile.

After about fifteen minutes Steve had positioned the last peg and the tent was ready. Steve stood proudly admiring his work and then turned and smiled broadly at Mike.

"Not bad huh? "

Mike smiled back.

"I'm impressed buddy boy but you're sure it won't fall down on our heads later?"

Feigning a hurt expression Steve answered.

"Mike? I'm deeply wounded! How could you doubt my tent construction skills? It's as sturdy as a rock!"

The wide smile that followed on Steve's face belied his words and Mike laughed and replied.

"Ok, hotshot. I'm just kidding! You did a good job! It looks great. But you on the other hand look frozen! Come on over by the fire and warm up. The coffee's just ready."

Steve was feeling rather cold and rubbing his hands briskly together, he didn't have to be asked twice. Still smiling he made his way over to the campfire.

"Here, pull up a stump!" Mike joked as he gestured to the few tree stumps that had been placed around the campfire obviously to be used as seats.

Steve chuckled and sat down on one of them and extended his hands out toward the fire, grateful for the warmth that was coming off it. Mike poured him some coffee and spoke to the young man again.

"See, I'm a man of my word! One sugar only. Ok?" and he handed the cup to Steve.

Steve smiled gratefully at Mike and accepted the cup, wrapping both his hands around it and taking one mouthful and swallowing it. It tasted good as the hot liquid made its way down Steve's throat and Steve felt it warming him up from the inside out. It was the first cup of coffee he had enjoyed since leaving the hospital, the others having been spoiled by too much sugar, thanks to Dr. Armstrong's instructions. Mike noticed how Steve was savouring and enjoying it and couldn't help but grin.

"Taste better huh?"

"Yeah, thanks." Steve answered but just then he was distracted as he looked up and saw that the night sky above him was clear and stars filled the sky.

The moon was not quite full yet but it wasn't far off Steve figured. For a moment he was transported back in his mind to Harry's porch and the many nights they had spent stargazing together. Harry had taught him all the constellations and then he remembered the first time again that Harry had ever showed him the stars, that one special night all those years ago when he had given him the teddy bear and had finally made him feel special and unbroken. He was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't heard Mike talking to him and asking him what he would like for his supper. Becoming concerned at Steve's lack of response Mike reached out a hand and squeezed Steve's shoulder.

"Steve? Are you ok?"

This simple gesture was enough to bring him back to the present and staring at Mike, he processed what he had just asked him, and then stumbling slightly over his words he answered rather unconvincingly.

"Yeah ... I'm fine ... I guess I was a million miles away ... Sorry Mike! ..."

Immediately, he broke eye contact and stared into the heart of the campfire, watching the flames as they danced and feeling the comforting warmth that emanated from them on his face.

"Yes, I could see that. I was just asking you what you'd like for your supper? I could make us some hot dogs? How does that sound huh?" Mike asked watching Steve very closely and not liking something that had changed in his demeanor.

He had seemed back to his old self while they had laughed and teased each other earlier and while he had figured out how to erect the tent, but now that sense of deep sadness and loss seemed to be consuming him again and it bothered the older man. Hearing Mike's question, Steve quickly turned and placed a hand on Mike's arm, and flustered.

"Mike ... Don't make any for me please. I'm not very hungry. I'll just stick with the coffee thanks."

Steve saw the concern grow on Mike's face and the anxious glare that followed.

"Mike ... Don't look at me like that! I'll eat tomorrow morning. I promise. Ok? I'm fine! I just ... I just can't stomach it tonight Mike. Please?"

Steve's words and pleading expression broke through Mike's resolve and while he was not happy about the young man not eating he decided to respect the boy's wishes just for now, but inwardly vowed to rectify the situation the next day.

"Ok, ok buddy boy. I can't force you to eat but you're worrying me, you do know that?" Mike commented, watching for Steve's reaction.

Steve looked suitably embarrassed and once again broke eye contact and resumed his stare up at the night sky. He hated being a burden to Mike or a cause for concern so he mumbled a response and couldn't quite mask the upset that was evident in his voice.

"I know and ... I'm sorry. "

Mike hadn't quite expected such a short, sorrowful response and decided it was time to change tactics again. Watching his partner engrossed in his stargazing he decided to comment on that instead and move the subject away from Steve's lack of appetite.

"Beautiful isn't it? Much better than a motel room ceiling. Huh buddy boy?"

Mike was rewarded by a faint smile that played about Steve's lips.

"Yeah, that's for sure. "

He didn't elaborate so Mike decided not to push him to talk but hoped that by just remaining quiet and being there with the young man that he would open up himself and talk about what was on his mind. Instead Mike stoked the fire again and poured himself a second cup of coffee and refilled Steve's. Steve nodded his thanks and sure enough after a few minutes of silence Steve spoke again.

"You know Harry and me used to sit out on the porch when I was little and we'd watch the stars just like this ... He taught me all about the different constellations. He even bought me a telescope for my sixth birthday so I could get a closer look at them. It was our special time just before bedtime. He'd make us hot chocolate and cookies and He always wrapped a blanket around my shoulders to make sure I didn't catch cold ..."

Steve trailed off momentarily as he seemed to relive those special times with his Grandfather and in the glow of the firelight Mike thought he could see moisture in his partner's eyes. Mike swallowed back the lump that appeared in his throat but remained silent, knowing his partner well enough, that sometimes the less questions you asked the more he would open up. Sure enough, again Steve continued.

"I remember the first time he showed me the stars ... it was the night he gave me the bear ... the one I gave to Ruby ..."

Steve trailed off again as if he was reluctant to recount the story and Mike decided this was one time he needed to coax just a little.

"You never did tell me that story ... I'd love to hear it ... if you want to tell me that is?"

Steve looked at Mike and seemed slightly embarrassed. Admitting to the older man that he had been afraid of the dark when he was five wasn't something he really wanted to do but it was Mike after all, and over the last few days he'd seen Steve at his worst many times, so looking back at the campfire he nervously started the story.

"After my parents died and I went to live with Harry ... it took me a while to get used to the change. You see we used to live in the town and there were street lights but Harry lived further out and at night there were no street lights at all. Everything was pitch black and you couldn't see your hand in front of your face ... I was ...Well I guess I ..."

Mike could see Steve struggling and helped out.

"You were afraid of the dark?"

Steve blushed and nodded his head.

"I know ... stupid huh?"

Mike squeezed Steve's shoulder.

"No, it wasn't stupid! Don't always be so hard on yourself! You were only five Steve! Why Jeannie was still afraid of the dark until she was eight. I used to have to put a special night light in her room. Finish the story Steve please?"

Steve smiled gratefully at Mike and felt better about continuing.

"Ok ... Well I'd been there about three days and on the fourth night Harry came into my room and asked me to go with him outside. He said there was something he wanted to show me."

"He'd figured out you were afraid huh?"

"Yeah ... I don't know how though ... I never told him ..."

Mike ruffled Steve's hair playfully.

"I guess old habits die hard huh?"

Steve chuckled at that, knowing he was referring to his habit of never telling anyone how he was feeling.

"Yeah, I guess so ... anyway I didn't want to go outside but he picked me up and carried me out onto the porch. I wouldn't look ... I don't know why exactly but after a while he coaxed me to and he showed me the night sky. He showed me all the stars and the moon and suddenly things didn't seem so scary anymore ..."

Steve paused for a minute and stared at the flames. In the silence that followed Mike watched the young man closely and knew he wasn't just referring to the dark anymore. He figured out that was probably the moment that Steve finally felt safe again after his parents death and no longer felt alone and he also figured that was probably the start of his strong bond with his Grandfather. The moment he let Harry into his heart and trust. He stayed quiet watching Steve, wondering if he would continue or if that was all he felt able to tell, but again Steve sighed and looked at Mike and again Mike was sure that in the glow from the fire that he could see tears in Steve's eyes. Mike felt his own heart break inside, remembering the amount of hurt that the five-year old Steve had to endure and before he could think of something comforting to say, Steve spoke again, albeit shakily.

"That's when he gave me the bear. But he also told me that whenever someone dies they become a new star in the sky and that's where they watch over those who are left behind ..."

Steve's voice broke and he covered it up by taking another mouthful from his coffee but Mike wasn't that easily fooled and his eagle eyes saw the way the cup shook in his hand.

"That's a beautiful thought buddy boy!" Mike answered trying to keep his own voice from wavering and then concerned at how upset Steve seemed to be he squeezed the young man's shoulder again and added.

"Thanks for telling me that story. I know it wasn't easy. Are you ok?"

Steve nodded and cleared his throat.

"Yeah, yeah I'm ok but Mike ... Can I ask you something?"

Mike looked at Steve curiously, wondering what Steve had in mind to ask but if whatever it was he needed to ask made him feel better, then Mike would gladly answer a hundred of Steve's questions.

"Sure buddy boy. Ask away!"

Steve shifted uncomfortably on the tree stump he was sitting on and without looking directly at Mike but rather directing his question almost into his coffee cup where his gaze was fixed, he asked.

"Mike, do you really believe in an afterlife? You know, somewhere where we might get to see the people we've lost again? Do you really think we'll get that chance someday?"

Mike could hear an almost desperation in Steve's voice and he wanted more than anything to reassure the young man but all he had to go on were his own beliefs so he carefully answered Steve's question.

"Well, that's the million dollar question isn't it buddy boy? You know I'm a Catholic. So yes, personally I believe in a Heaven. I believe I'll see Helen again someday but that's based on nothing but pure faith. Don't you believe there is Steve?"

Steve looked up from his cup and this time Mike thought he saw a tear running down his partner's face but again in the dim firelight Mike couldn't be certain.

"I don't know Mike! I want to believe it ... I really do but I guess my faith's not as strong as yours Mike."

The long day, the trip, and the pure raw emotion that Steve had just resurrected by telling that story to Mike, had him feeling drained again so setting down his cup on the ground he rubbed both hands over his face and rubbed at his sore, tired eyes.

"Mike is there anymore coffee?"

Seeing how exhausted Steve looked, Mike got up somewhat stiffly from where he was sitting and stretched his aching legs. He never remembered being this sore when he went camping before but then he guessed he was a lot younger back then. Patting Steve on the back, he answered.

"It's not more coffee you need Steve! It's a good night's sleep! Come on, let's call it a night huh?"

But despite how tired he felt, going to sleep was the last thing Steve wanted to do. After all the upset he had just dragged up, he didn't feel like trusting whatever dreams would come if he were to sleep, so instead he sat up straighter and tried to speak as normally as he could manage.

"No Mike! I don't want to sleep just yet. You go ahead though. I just want to sit here for a little while more. Ok?"

Mike stood looking down at the young man and knew he was avoiding sleep for the second time today and he figured it was for the same reason too, so not wanting to leave him sitting there on his own either, Mike had an idea. He clapped his hands together gleefully, startling Steve, who jumped slightly and looked up at Mike curiously.

"So you're not ready to sleep yet huh buddy boy?"

Steve shook his head still not quite sure what had gotten into the older man.

"Ok so! I just need to get something from the car and I'll be right back! "

Steve wheeled around and watched as Mike buttoned up his coat too and grabbed his flashlight. Then he looked over at the forest trail that led to the car park and saw how dark it was.

"Mike! Do you want me to go with you?"

Mike smiled and teased.

"Do you want to come with me because you're afraid something will happen to me or are you worried about something happening to you while I'm gone?"

This made Steve laugh.

"A little of both I guess." he said still laughing. "You have remembered about the bears haven't you?"

Mike chuckled.

"Don't worry I won't be long! You had better stay and keep an eye on the fire. Do you need anything from the car?"

"Ok ... no I don't think so, thanks." Then thinking of something funny he jokingly added. "Mike? You're not going to get a guitar and start singing campfire songs are you?"

Mike laughed again and grabbed Steve's shoulders from behind and shook him playfully.

"Very funny wise guy! No, I'm not getting a guitar! You know I may just need to use the facilities after drinking all that coffee. Bet you hadn't thought of that huh? You just wait until you're my age!"

The two men laughed again and Mike felt some of the tension leave Steve's shoulders. And with that Mike turned on his flashlight and headed off down the trail still chuckling. Steve watched after him until the beam of light faded and then he turned his attention back to the fire. It was dying down a little so Steve threw a couple of more sticks on the fire and stoked it up as the smoke and sparks weaved their way up into the night air.

Now alone for the first time since the hospital room this morning, Steve let his guard down momentarily and sighed a heavy sigh. He really wished there was some way that he could just clear his mind of all thoughts for a couple of hours so that he could get a few hours of dreamless sleep. Then he closed his tired eyes for a few minutes and just listened. He could hear the crackle of the fire, the flow of the river, the gentle breeze whistling through the trees and from somewhere nearby he could hear an owl hooting. He found the sounds of nature very calming and when he felt more relaxed he opened his eyes again, refilled his coffee cup and watched for Mike's return.

The minutes passed and Steve contemplated going to see if he was ok but before he got the chance he saw a beam of a flashlight making it's way back up the trail towards the camp. As it came closer he recognized Mike's silhouette and felt easier.

"I was nearly coming to see if you were ok there for a minute!"

"Sorry, it took me a while to remember where I packed them in the car. " Mike answered cryptically.

"Where you packed what?" Steve asked unable to contain his curiosity any longer.

Mike smiled his biggest smile yet and answered.

"Well, buddy boy. You don't want to sleep and you're not feeling very hungry and you don't want to sing songs!" Mike added teasingly "So all that's left is the one thing a proper camping trip wouldn't be without."

As Steve eyed him up curiously, Mike held up a bag of marshmallows, a packet of graham crackers and a large bar of chocolate and grinning from ear to ear he announced " S'mores! What do you say buddy boy? Think you could stomach one of those?"

Steve couldn't help but smile at the older man.

"Boy Mike! You really have thought of everything haven't you? I haven't had s'mores since I was a kid. Sure, why not ?"

Mike was pleased that Steve was willing to try them and getting two sticks he threaded the marshmallows on them and handed one to Steve and together they toasted them over the open fire. Then reaching behind him he produced two blankets that he had fetched from the car too.

"Here put this around you." he said handing one to Steve and draping the other one around his own shoulders to keep out the evening chill.

As they sat, wrapped in their blankets, toasting marshmallows by the fire, the two men sat in companionable silence until Mike started to laugh. Steve looked at him smiling.

"What? What's so funny?"

"Oh I was just thinking what Jeannie would say if she saw us now! Can you imagine?"

Steve chuckled.

"I'd be more worried about the guys from the precinct seeing us. I don't think we'd live that one down in a hurry. Huh?"

"True buddy boy."

Then as their laughter subsided, Mike passed Steve two crackers and some chocolate and the two men made their s'mores. Then as they both started to munch, Steve swallowed his first mouthful.

"Mmmmm ... I'd forgotten how delicious these are. Thanks Mike." and he continued to eat his and seemed to be savouring each and every bite.

Mike was equally enjoying his and was thrilled to see the enjoyment on his partner's face too. As he watched Steve, he suddenly grew serious and turned to ask Steve something but changed his mind at the last-minute. Steve saw him go to say something and stop and so he questioned the older man.

"What? You were just about to say something and you stopped. What were you going to say?"

Mike flustered a little.

"Oh, it wasn't important. I was just going to ask you something but it can wait."

"Go ahead, ask me Mike!"

"No. I don't want to go upsetting you. You've been upset enough for one day Steve. Really it can wait."

Steve felt a little anxious at Mike's last words but he persisted.

"It's ok Mike. You know you can ask me anything! I don't mind. Really!"

Mike squirmed a little but found the courage to ask.

"Ok ... I was just wondering if you had a picture of your parents Steve? You know you never even told me what their names were. You never talk about them at all in fact! I guess I'm just curious that's all. But if you'd rather not talk about them that's ok too Steve."

"That's ok. I guess I don't talk about them very much. My father's name was Richard and my mother's name was Elizabeth."

Then he reached into his trouser pocket and pulling out his wallet he took out an old black and white photo and fingered it tenderly before he handed it over to Mike. He watched as Mike put on his glasses and turned his flashlight on to study the picture. He watched as Mike smiled and spoke.

"Your mother really was beautiful. You know you look a lot like her. You have the same brown, wavy hair and the same eyes but you have your father's chin." Mike commented as he handed the picture carefully back to Steve.

Mike watched as Steve placed it carefully back in his wallet and returned the wallet to his trouser pocket and then spoke.

"Yeah, Harry always said the same." Steve said nostalgically.

"Thanks for showing it to me. Steve? Do you remember much about them?"

"Not a lot. I guess I was too young but I do remember some things."

"Tell me. What do you remember about your mother?"

Steve fell disturbingly silent, lost in memories inside his head. He seemed reluctant to talk about it so Mike felt that maybe he shouldn't have broached the subject in the first place. Not wanting to upset Steve any further he quickly spoke.

"I'm sorry Steve. I shouldn't have asked. I know it's upsetting for you. Let's just drop the subject ok?"

Steve looked up at Mike and smiled, grateful for his words but he answered.

"It's not that Mike. I don't mind talking to you about what I remember but ... well, what I remember ... well you might think it's kind of strange."

Mike looked curiously at Steve and could see Steve looking slightly embarrassed and sought to reassure him.

"Steve, why don't you tell me and I'm sure I won't find it strange at all."

"Ok. You see the main thing I remember about her was her scent." Steve looked back into the flames and seemed to blush a little."She smelled of Lily of the Valley. I don't know if it was a soap she used, or shampoo or a perfume but every time I smell it even still, I think of her. She used to read me a bedtime story every night and when she'd leave I could smell it off my pillow ..."

Steve's voice broke and he trailed off and stared into the flames, only glancing briefly at Mike once and stammering.

"See, I told you it was strange!"

Mike sat straight-faced and his heart broke as he listened to the young man's most precious memory of his beloved mother and he reached out and clasped Steve's shoulder firmly.

"No Steve. That's not strange at all."

He paused a few seconds and seemed to be struggling with his own emotions and Steve looked back at Mike with concern.

"Mike? Are you ok?"

Mike smiled at Steve briefly but then became serious again.

"Yes, I'm ok buddy boy. It just struck me that's all. You see Helen smelled of Lily of the Valley too. It was her favourite perfume. I bought it for her all the time. Helen wore this pink cardigan around the house. It was one of those cardigans that she'd never be seen dead wearing outside but inside she said it was comfortable ..."

Mike stopped for a moment and smiled as he recalled fond memories of Helen wearing that cardigan. Then he slowly continued.

"After she died ... I could still smell her perfume off that cardigan. I used to sit with it at night and when I closed my eyes I could imagine that she was still there with me. Every time the scent wore off, over the following months I would spray it again with the perfume. So you see I don't think your memory is strange at all buddy boy!"

Mike squeezed Steve's shoulder again and both men sat in silence for a few minutes. Steve was deeply touched by Mike's story and felt so sad for his loss and Mike was thinking about how sad it was that the only true memory the young man had of his mother was the smell of her skin. As the minutes passed and the fire died down a bit, Mike finally broke the silence.

"Look at us huh? A right pair of old misery guts. Let's call it a night now huh buddy boy? Come on. You look fit to drop and I feel about the same. Let's put out the fire and get some shut-eye. What do you say Steve?"

Steve was feeling drained and he didn't feel like making a fuss so he nodded wearily at Mike.

"Ok Mike."

Unlike Mike who was feeling stiff and sore from sitting on the hard stump, Steve bounded up with ease and set about damping down the fire and ensuring that it was out. Mike reminded him to put whatever food they had into the bear canister and place it a good distance away from the tent and Steve dutifully obliged and then the two men took their blankets and sleeping bags and went over to the tent. It wasn't a very big tent but it was meant to sleep three therefore there was ample room for two people to sleep in it but you had to crawl on all fours to get in the front. Steve crawled in with ease and rolling out his sleeping bag he was quickly settled into it and zipped up but Mike moaned and groaned as he crawled in the front and seemed to take longer, because of his tall frame, to manage to get his bag rolled out and get himself into it. Steve listened as Mike complained about how the tent had seemed to shrunk since the last time he had been in it and grinned to himself as Mike seemed to toss and turn, this way and that, in order to try to get comfortable. Eventually he finally settled and spoke over his shoulder.

"Goodnight Steve."

"Goodnight Mike. Sleep well!"

"You too buddy boy."

And in very little time, both men were fast asleep and sleeping soundly.


	11. Chapter 11

**Going Home**

Chapter 11

Steve slept peacefully for a little while but it wasn't long before his thoughts had other ideas. He could see his Uncle Henry quite clearly but couldn't figure out where they were. He was shouting at Steve but Steve couldn't make out the words. He looked angry though, almost fit to kill. He was almost spitting out venom as he yelled at Steve and even in sleep, Steve felt himself recoiling. He felt like covering his ears to block out the angry noises but the restriction of the zipped up sleeping bag wasn't allowing such movement. Luckily he wasn't as deeply asleep as he had been during his last nightmare at Mike's place so with effort he managed to jolt himself awake fairly quietly and looking over at Mike he was relieved to see that he hadn't woken Mike up in the process. His breathing was a little ragged and he felt a little unnerved but they were the only visible effects this latest bad dream had on him. He felt strangely claustrophobic though all of a sudden, and needed some fresh air so unzipping his sleeping bag as quietly as he could manage he exited the tent again as quietly as one could get out of a tent, without making too much noise or without disturbing the other occupant.

When he finally crawled outside and stood up he breathed in the cool night air and regretted not bringing his blanket with him but he dared not go back for it. Although he had felt hot and stifled in the tent, the transition out into the cool night air made him shiver. He pulled the collar of his jacket up around his neck and walking over to one of the campfire tree stumps he sat down heavily. After running a nervous hand through his hair he then stuffed both hands into his pockets and cursed his inability to sleep undisturbed.

He was glad of the moonlit sky that illuminated the campsite, grateful that he wasn't sitting there in the pitch dark. He'd foolishly left his flashlight behind too in his haste to get out of the tent and now he wasn't sure what his next move should be. He glanced at his watch but it took him several minutes to make out where the hands were pointing in the moonlight and then frowned when he realized it was just ten past three in the morning! He had only managed around two and a half hours sleep and Steve figured most of that wasn't the beneficial, restful kind. God he felt so tired! But he didn't think a return to his sleeping bag would yield any more rest for now. The picture of his Uncle Henry cross and spitting brimstone was still a little too uncomfortably clear in his head. He shivered again and knew that he couldn't just sit there in the cold all night either.

He thought about going and maybe sitting in the car. At least it would be warmer but if Mike found him missing he would only be frantic with worry and anyway Mike had the car keys last and he didn't know where the older man had put them. While he was still sitting there trying to get his exhausted brain to work out what to do next, he didn't realize that his earlier departure from the tent hadn't gone as unnoticed as he had hoped.

Mike hadn't heard Steve's tortured dream but he had woken as he felt some movement behind him and had turned just in time to see Steve's shoes exit the tent and watched as the entrance was zipped back up slowly. He turned over and saw the abandoned sleeping bag and blanket of his partner and worried instantly. Had he heard something outside and gone to investigate it on his own? If he had, Mike determined to give him a good talking to for not waking him as back up just in case, but the more Mike contemplated it, the more Mike seemed to figure it out. No, if Steve had heard noises from outside the tent he would have woken Mike and alerted him to his concerns. Yes, knowing Steve as well as he did, he was certain that if Steve had felt that there was any danger outside, he would immediately have woken him and shared the information. That meant that whatever had caused Steve to leave the tent had to have been something he hadn't wanted to bother Mike about so again he deduced that having left so quickly that he hadn't even bothered to bring his blanket or his flashlight, it had to have been one of two things. Either he had been feeling sick again or he had suffered another nightmare. Satisfied that he had figured correctly he knew that either way, he needed to go and check on him to make sure he was alright.

Not quite as stealthily as Steve had, due to his age and taller frame, Mike exited the tent and saw his partner sitting with his back to the tent and looking frozen solid in the moonlight and his concern grew. He grabbed both blankets from the tent and picked himself up off the ground and was sure he heard various bones crack and creak but he worried more as Steve didn't seem to even hear his arrival.

"Steve? You alright buddy boy?" he called with obvious worry in his voice as he made his way towards his partner.

It was only when Mike spoke that Steve wheeled around and saw his approaching partner and his embarrassment took hold. Mumbling ashamedly he quickly turned away again.

"Yeah, I'm ... fine Mike. Sorry ... I never meant to wake you. I just couldn't sleep that's all. Don't worry about me. You go back to sleep. I'm ok."

But instead of returning to the tent, Steve heard Mike continue walking until he felt him standing right behind him. He jumped slightly as Mike placed both of his hands on his shoulders.

"Steve ... we both know you're about as far from ok as anyone can be now don't we. Are you feeling sick again?"

"NO!" Steve protested a little too loudly, so he lowered his voice and tried again. "No, Mike. I just couldn't sleep honestly."

Mike could feel Steve trembling from where he had a grip on his partner's slender frame and knew the fact that Steve was refusing to catch his eye was never a positive sign as far as Steve was concerned.

"Steve! You're frozen!" Mike announced with great concern as he could almost feel the chill emanating from Steve and with that he wrapped one of the blankets around Steve's shoulders and then put the other one around his own.

Then much to Steve's further embarrassment Mike came around and sat directly in front of Steve on another stump. Steve could feel upset rising within him but he wasn't even sure why. He just knew that Mike's close scrutiny of him was making his mask slip and all the painful feelings of hurt and uncertainty were bombarding him faster than he could lock them away again. His gut instinct was to turn away from Mike again but he knew that would only serve to highlight his obvious distress even more and would also make Mike feel bad so he stayed looking at the one patch of ground willing himself to reel in his emotions before they made a further show of him.

Mike's close study of his partner did nothing to ease his worries. In fact if anything Steve's pale face and the dark circles around his eyes only worried him more and reaching out he very gently lifted Steve's chin and turned his face to look directly at him. This simple action caused tears to spring to Steve's eyes as he saw the worry he was causing, in his partner's face. He tried to pull gently out of Mike's hold but Mike was not letting him off the hook that easily.

"Steve! You have to talk to me! I need to know what's going on inside that head of yours. I know you think you can deal with this all by yourself but you CAN'T ! Nobody could. Not with all you've had to contend with. You had more nightmares didn't you? Please tell me the truth."

"I never said ... " Steve started but Mike interrupted.

"You didn't have to. I can see it written all over your face. What were they about huh? Harry?"

Steve knew he wasn't able to keep up the pretence any longer. He was so tired and he knew Mike had figured things out and wouldn't let him hide behind the pretend smiles and nervous jokes until he told him the truth, so he sadly shook his head and fought back his emotions enough to answer Mike coherently, although his voice came out quieter than he had intended.

"No ... it was Uncle Henry this time. He was yelling at me ... but I couldn't make out what he was saying. I just wanted him to stop ... yelling!"

Mike could see the deep hurt in his eyes and for the second time in the last twenty-four hours he wanted to give Steve's Uncle Henry a good Mike Stone talking to as Steve always called it. He could feel Steve's uneasiness and removed his hand from Steve's chin allowing the young man the necessary motion of lowering his head to pull himself together a little. Instead he placed a supportive hand on Steve's shoulder and after giving Steve a few moments respite he spoke again.

"Was that what made you feel sick yesterday while driving here Steve? Were you thinking about the row you had that Thanksgiving night?"

Mike's perception caught Steve off guard and he whipped his head up and stared disbelievingly at the older man. How could he have known that? Seeing Steve's reaction, Mike knew he had guessed right and squeezed Steve's shoulder and yet he couldn't help but smile at the shocked expression on Steve's face. Surely the boy knew by now that there wasn't much he could hide from the perceptiveness of his worldly-wise partner. Steve caught the faint smile and returned it.

"How do you do that Mike?"

"Do what buddy boy ... read your mind?"

Steve nervously laughed. "Yeah ..."

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's because I've had almost three years of practise or maybe it's that plate-glass forehead of yours!" Mike teased, trying to lighten the tension by playfully tapping Steve's temple with his finger.

This made Steve chuckle again but he got very serious again soon after and answered Mike's original question.

"Yeah, I was remembering Uncle Henry yesterday before I felt sick, only that time I remembered all the things he said to me during that argument as clear as day!"

Mike felt his own emotions fray as he heard Steve's words and the tone he had used, told the tale without meaning to, of how spiteful and hurtful those words had been and how hard they had been for Steve to hear.

"Steve, I don't know what he said to you but from what you've told me so far I doubt that anything he said to you is worth remembering and I would even go as far as to wager that nothing he said rang true either. Am I right?"

Steve was visibly struggling to maintain his composure by now. The exhaustion was making everything hard to deal with and because of it Steve felt like his brain wasn't working properly. Everything he tried to figure out just felt hazy and nothing seemed to make any sense to him anymore. As Henry's words circled in his brain again, the words that cut him most came to his mind and he looked back at Mike wearily. He didn't even know if he could get the words formed properly in his tired brain to tell Mike but he wanted to try. So he stumbled out the words as best he could.

"Yeah ... You're right Mike but ... he said ... he said that Harry would have been disappointed with me ... for wasting the money he left me for college. Mike? You don't think he would have been do you?"

As the last words tumbled out of Steve's mouth so did a solitary tear from his right eye and Mike could hear the desperation and the deep hurt in his voice. Now suddenly, not just wanting to give Henry a piece of his mind but wanting to hurt him every bit as cruelly as he had his partner, he grabbed Steve's shoulders gently, needing to know that he would hear every word he was about to say and seeing that the tiredness and upset was making it hard for the young man to focus.

"STEVE ! Now you listen to me buddy boy! I don't know why he would say that, but I know for a fact that Harry would have supported you in whatever decision you took! He believed in you! Just like I do! And I know he would be every bit as proud of you today as I am! Do you hear me? Don't waste any tears on anything your Uncle Henry said to you! I mean it Steve! I don't know what his problem is but that's just what it is ... his! Not yours! Ok now?"

Steve nodded, grateful for Mike's reassurance but not having the energy left to argue the point. He dropped his head and held it with both hands and spoke again emotionally.

"Mike ... I'm so tired ... and my head is so messed up! What are we even doing here? I mean, visiting Harry's place later today isn't going to bring him back. I feel like I'm chasing ghosts Mike! I should be back in San Francisco chasing bad guys instead of sitting here in the middle of nowhere, freezing cold and feeling like I'm going crazy!"

Mike's heart went out to Steve. He could see the extreme exhaustion in Steve's features and knew that most of what he was saying now was as a direct result of it.

"Come on now! You're not going crazy! You're just totally worn out and fed up! But you are right about one thing. Visiting Harry's place won't bring him back but it just might help you put all these bad memories where they belong. In the past Steve! However ... if you really want to go back to San Francisco, then I gave you my word buddy boy. If that's what you want to do, we'll pack up and leave right now! So what's it to be buddy boy?"

Steve looked at Mike again and the older man worryingly noticed that the young man almost swayed where he sat.

"I ... I don't know Mike. I wish I did. God I wish I did! " and again he brushed a hand through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

Mike could see that Steve was too tired to make any coherent decision so he decided to take control and formulated a plan of action.

"Ok, ok listen to me now. You trust me, don't you Steve?"

Steve looked at Mike curiously.

"Of course I do. You know that."

Mike put a fatherly arm around Steve's shoulders to both comfort the young man and to steady him.

"Ok, well then trust me now! You need to sleep Steve! Your eyes are in the back of your head and the tiredness is not helping you feel any better or clearer about this weekend." Then reaching into his jacket pocket Mike pulled out the sleeping pill bottle he had got in the chemist for Steve the day before and continued. " I want you to take one of these ..." Mike could see Steve about to protest and stopped him. " Now before you start protesting, hear me out! We both know these sleeping pills now are the only way you're going to be able to sleep nightmare free. And you know that I wouldn't even suggest you take them if I didn't think they were absolutely necessary! Now take one and get a decent few hours sleep. When you wake up we'll have breakfast and when you're feeling less tired and clearer, if you still feel that you want to go home then we will. Ok buddy boy? How does that sound?"

Mike watched Steve trying to process his plan and genuinely expected him to protest further against taking the sleeping pill but instead much to his surprise, Steve just nodded wearily and took the pill bottle from Mike and emptied one into his hand. Mike went and fetched him a bottle of water and he put the pill in his mouth and washed it down while Mike watched. Then handing the bottle back to Mike he spoke.

"Ok Mike. We'll try it your way. "

"You'll see Steve. It's for the best. Now let's get you back into your sleeping bag before that pill kicks in. The way my bones are acting up since we started camping, I doubt I'd be able to carry you that far if I had to" Mike added humorously and with that he stretched out his hand to help Steve up and he stayed right beside him all the way back to the tent just in case. Again Steve crawled in easily and was soon back in his sleeping bag with Mike taking just that bit longer like the last time. When they were both back lying down, Mike faced Steve, concerned with how quiet he had become and saw him lying on his back, staring at the top of the tent and it unnerved the older detective.

"You ok Steve?"

"Yeah ... I will be. Mike? Did you mean what you said out there ... about ... being proud of me?"

Mike smiled over at Steve who had turned to look at his partner.

"Yes, every word buddy boy. Every word."

Steve weakly smiled back as his eyelids suddenly began to feel very heavy and as he felt himself losing the battle to stay awake he drowsily replied.

"Thanks ... Mike ... means ... a lot ... "

Steve's head fell to one side and he seemed to be asleep. Just to make sure Mike reached over and gently shook his left arm.

"Steve? Steve?..."

When he realized that the pill was working he said a silent prayer that Steve would get the undisturbed sleep he badly needed and then he allowed himself to drift off again too.

When Mike woke next, he noticed that it was bright outside and glancing at his watch he saw that it was eight thirty am. He stretched and moved as his back protested. He missed his comfortable bed back in San Francisco. Looking over at Steve he was relieved to see that the young man had hardly moved at all since he had fallen asleep. He was breathing evenly and seemed peaceful. Mike reached out and placed a hand on Steve's shoulder and was pleased to see that he was warm to the touch and that he had recovered from how cold he was earlier. Next Mike unzipped his sleeping bag and made his way out of the tent as quietly as he was able, considering he was biting back the urge to groan as his sore muscles and back protested his every move. However he needn't have worried, as Steve was still under the influence of the sleeping pill and would not have easily woken.

Once outside, Mike stood up gingerly and rubbed his lower back and then headed for the campfire to start on breakfast. He put more sticks on the fire and lit them and soon he had a nice campfire going. Then retrieving the food from the bear canister, he started cooking sausages. He had only begun to cook when he heard a sound from off down the trail, and looking up he saw Park Ranger Gerry Palmer making his way towards him.

"Good morning Mike! I hope you had a peaceful night. Everything seemed quiet anyhow."

"Morning Gerry. Yes, everything was fine. Thank you. Would you like some coffee? It's just made and piping hot!"

"Sounds great. Just what I need after the long night's patrol I've had, thanks."

Gerry took a seat beside Mike and Mike poured him some coffee and handed him the cup. Gerry gratefully accepted it and as he took a reviving mouthful he quickly scanned around.

"Say, where's that young partner of yours? Is he off exploring?"

Mike shook his head.

"No, he's still asleep. Steve's ... well, he's had a rough couple of days. He rescued a woman and child from a car that went into the Bay. It was a tough rescue. Steve swallowed a lot of seawater and the girl almost drowned." As he watched Gerry listening sympathetically to his story Mike subconsciously lowered his voice to avoid Steve overhearing the rest of the conversation and continued. " The Doctor reckoned he was suffering post traumatic stress after it and he was reliving a few traumatic events from his childhood. The Department Psychologist recommended we take this trip back to his hometown both for some well needed R&R and to help him deal with some past issues. That's why we're here!"

Gerry listened and drank his coffee and when Mike had finished, Gerry noticed how Mike seemed very concerned about his partner.

"You seem worried about him!"

"I am Gerry. He's not eating properly and he's not sleeping without terrible nightmares. I had to ... well I had to give him a sleeping pill just to get him to sleep last night ... "

"Poor fella. That's a tough one but I know you ... you'll see him right! Actually it just so happens my wife wanted me to invite you both to dinner this evening. You think he'd be up to that?"

"Well, that's kind of her and you Gerry but the truth is the boy was talking of wanting to go home last night and I had promised him back in San Francisco that I'd take him back if he felt that way on this trip so, I'll have to see if still wants to head home or if he's going to stick it out when he wakes up but I'll let you know it that's ok? Personally, I'd love to. Betty was always a great cook and it would be good to catch up with you both. Leave it with me for now huh?"

"Sure, no problem! I understand. Oh and I meant to give you guys this last night!" and with that he handed Mike a walkie-talkie. "You can reach me on that anytime day or night if you need anything. Mike? If there's anything I can do to help you with Steve just let me know, Ok? He seems like a nice young man! Sounds like he's had more than his fair share of past trauma considering he's so young."

Mike smiled at Gerry as he gratefully accepted the walkie-talkie.

"Thanks Gerry. Yes he has! I appreciate the offer and everything you've done for us and I promise I'll keep that in mind."

"Well, I better get on home and get my head down for a few hours. Thanks for the coffee Mike. Let me know about later. If you boys decide to head home just call me on that thing and I'll come pick it and the keys up off you, before you go. See you good buddy!"

"Ok, will do. See you Gerry and thanks again!"

Mike watched Gerry disappear back down the trail again and smiled to himself. Gerry hadn't changed a bit. Mike felt a little lighter after sharing his worries about Steve with him too. He had bottled up his concerns and it had felt good just to vocalize them with someone else that he could trust implicitly like Gerry. Feeling a little better himself after the chat he had, he busied himself preparing the rest of the breakfast and about forty minutes later just as everything was ready as if on cue, Steve appeared from the tent. He looked more rested, albeit a little more unkempt than he normally would. Mike smiled as he saw Steve emerge from the tent. His normally well-groomed hair was very tossed and dishevelled whatever way he had lain on it and he still looked groggy from the sleeping pill. He was also stretching and rubbing his back and Mike figured he was having some similar side effects to sleeping on the hard ground instead of on a soft bed. He made his way somewhat unsteadily towards Mike and smiled as he sat down heavily beside the older man.

"Well, good morning buddy boy! Looks like you finally managed to get some decent sleep. Here, have some coffee!"

"Morning! Thanks Mike. Just what I need." and accepting the cup, he drank some of the coffee and it made his smile even wider.

"Ah , that's good coffee Mike. Thanks."

Steve's brain still felt a little fuzzy but the sleep had helped him feel a little more on top of things and he hoped that the coffee would perk him up even more. Remembering what happened during the early hours of the morning though had him feeling mortified, and he couldn't quite hide his embarrassment from Mike. Looking at his watch he saw that it was nine thirty am.

"Is it that time already? You should have woken me Mike!"

"No, you needed all the sleep you could get. Are you feeling any better buddy boy?" Mike asked picking up on Steve's discomfort.

"Yeah, a little. Look Mike ... I'm sorry about last night ..."

Steve fidgeted awkwardly on his seat and Mike looked over sympathetically.

"Sorry for what?"

"You know ... I guess I was acting a bit crazy, saying things and ... well I don't know what got into me ..."

"Steve! You have nothing to be sorry for. You were exhausted! Tiredness makes us do and say crazy things. Do you ... still want to go home?"

Steve smiled gratefully at Mike and thought about his question.

"I don't know Mike. I guess not. We'll stick it out for a while longer ..." Then noticing Mike rubbing his lower back and wincing he added smiling." That's if your back can stick it out for a few days more?"

"Oh you noticed that huh?" Mike said chuckling "You know this camping lark seemed a lot easier eighteen years ago!"

Both men laughed and then Mike added.

"Breakfast is ready, sausages and eggs! Do you feel up to trying some?"

"Yeah, I think so. They sure smell good and I am feeling a little hungry."

Mike dished them both up some food and they both ate in silence for several minutes. Mike eventually broke the silence.

"Say, Gerry dropped by while you were still asleep. He wanted to know if we got on ok last night and he invited us over to his house for dinner this evening. I told him I'd have to check with you first. Do you feel up to that? If you don't that's ok too Steve but his wife is an excellent cook. I can vouch for that. What do you think?"

Steve was eating well, albeit slowly and as he swallowed his latest mouthful and drank some of his coffee he knew by Mike's tone that Mike would love to catch up with his old friends and certainly didn't want to spoil that for him. So he quickly answered.

"Sure! That's sounds great Mike! That was nice of them. "

Mike beamed from ear to ear, not entirely expecting that answer but appreciating the effort it took for Steve to agree to such an evening seeing as he didn't really know either party and so would probably spend the evening listening to the two older men relive past experiences together.

"Great, thanks buddy boy. It sure would be nice to catch up with them both. Hey, he left us this so we can contact him if we need anything! Pretty nifty huh?" Mike enthused showing off the walkie-talkie.

Steve nodded and smiled, pleased that he could at least do something to repay Mike for always being there for him. The least he could do would be to accompany Mike on a trip down his own memory lane. The two men finished breakfast. Steve took longer than Mike to finish his but at least he managed it in the end and then they washed up the breakfast things and the two men went down to the car and cleaned up in the restrooms and changed their clothes. Feeling definitely more human after his shower and shave and change of clothes, Mike was at the car when Steve emerged from the shower room and Mike noted a distinct improvement in Steve from the exhausted, disheveled young man from earlier.

"Well, you look a lot healthier now Steve. Shower felt good huh?"

"Yeah, definitely ! It washed the last of the fog out of my head. Boy those pills were pretty strong."

"Well, at least they helped you sleep." and then clapping his hands together gleefully he added hopefully " What do you say buddy boy, are you feeling up to your first fishing lesson?"

Mike's enthusiasm as always was infectious and Steve figured a little distraction would be just what he needed to take his mind off the impending visit to Harry's place later that afternoon so he readily agreed.

"Sure Mike. Why not? What do we have to do?"

"Help me get the equipment out of the car for a start and then we'll head up to the river beside the campsite." Then putting an arm around his partner's shoulders he jokingly added." Then prepare yourself to be impressed buddy boy!"

Steve laughed and set about helping to get the fishing equipment from the car and was actually looking forward to his lesson , so much so, that he was able to temporarily forget the trauma that lay just a few hours ahead.


	12. Chapter 12

**Going Home **

Chapter 12

Mike got all the fishing equipment from the car and handed Steve two long thigh high green fishing wader boots.

"Here, put those on. I hope they're the right size."

Steve eyed up the boots and stared at Mike curiously.

"Why do I need those? Aren't we fishing from the riverbank?"

"No, for fly fishing you're better off standing in the water so you're going to need those unless you want to ruin those fancy boots of yours?"

Steve smiled at the older man and proceeded to change into the waders. Pulling the boots on, Steve made a face and stood up looking very uncomfortable.

"Mike, these are never going to catch on as a fashion accessory! They feel strange. Couldn't I just stay on the bank?"

"No, you can't ! Now will you please stop complaining ! You'll get used to them after a while. Now come on. We have fish to catch."

Mike gave Steve stuff to carry and headed back up the trail towards the camp carrying the two rods and a handled box. Steve reluctantly followed, walking strangely in the long boots, definitely not understanding the attraction of Mike's favourite sport. As he followed he noticed that Mike was walking normally almost as if the waders were second nature to him and he admired how they didn't seem to bother him at all. Arriving back at camp, Mike headed towards the river bank and started setting up the fishing rods with lures on them. He glanced behind him and saw Steve walking strangely in the fisherman's boots and couldn't help but laugh.

"Steve! What is the matter with you? They're just boots!"

"Mike! Boots are not meant to reach up this far. Seriously, how can you stand these things? " Steve said adjusting them and squirming uncomfortably in them.

Again Mike chuckled heartily.

"Will you stop messing with them. When you're in the water you'll be glad of them! Now the other thing you've got to remember is to be careful of the green algae on those rocks. It can be very slippy so avoid standing on it or you'll end up wetter than you expected. Now, let's get you set up with a rod."

Steve watched Mike and squirmed again where he stood.

"Mike, maybe this is a bad idea. I don't think I'm cut out for this and I definitely think I'm allergic to these boots!"

"Steve! You are not allergic to those boots! You just have to get used to them that's all. Now here, take this rod!"

Steve took the rod off the older man and stood, suddenly glad no-one could see him in his current garb and suddenly feeling like a fish out of water and almost sympathizing with the poor creatures.

"Ok, now follow me! " Mike said as he stood into the water and carefully waded a bit out. "The current is strong so make sure you stay grounded and don't let it unbalance you. Ok?"

Steve stood on the edge watching Mike and was getting cold feet, literally, just watching him. Mike noticed that Steve wasn't following and looked back to see him still on dry land. Smiling to himself he shouted.

"Steve! You won't catch any fish from up there! Will you come on?"

"Is the water cold Mike?"

Again, Mike couldn't help but laugh at his young partner.

"Yes, it's cold but you get used to it after a few minutes. Now will you please get out here and watch your step?"

Mike watched as Steve very carefully stood down into the water and chuckled as Steve momentarily stopped as the freezing cold water made him suck in his breath then he chuckled more as he saw Steve making his way towards him slowly, almost losing his balance at least twice before he finally arrived just beside Mike.

"How did I let you talk me into this Mike?"

Mike laughed and patted the young man's shoulder.

"Oh, you'll be fine! Wait until you're reeling in those trout and you'll change your mind buddy boy. Mark my words!"

Steve didn't join in the laughter. He could feel his feet sinking into the slimy river bed and was struggling just to stay upright against the strong flow of the river. His teeth were almost chattering as he adjusted to the cold water and he was not convinced that he was ever going to enjoy this past-time.

"No offense Mike, but I think the only thing I'm going to catch is a cold!"

Mike waved off Steve's complaints and moved so that he was just behind the younger man.

"Now let me show you how to do this. Steve! You're not holding the rod right! You're holding it too tight."

Mike positioned the rod in Steve's hands.

"Now, that's better! But loosen your grip a little. You have to relax with the rod. Ok? That's much better. Now to cast, you need to let out the line a little and then swing it behind you and then forward in a smooth motion. Steve again looked at Mike helplessly, really not feeling that he was able to do this but Mike had his determined face on and Steve knew that arguing or chickening out was not going to be an option. Mike was determined to teach him how to fish and so Steve would just have to try his best.

"Now watch me and do what I do. Ok?"

Mike stood and held his rod and making it look so easy he whipped it gently and smoothly back and forth, and cast it effortlessly out into the flow of the river. Then beaming from ear to ear he looked at Steve.

"See, that's all there is to it! Easy as pie! Now you try."

Steve wasn't convinced that he could, but not wanting to disappoint Mike he gave it his best effort. Swinging it behind him a little too fast the loop of the line didn't unfold right and his forward motion just landed the line a few metres in front of him. Frowning at his miserable attempt, Steve looked at Mike again hoping that he would see how futile this exercise was but all he saw was sympathy and patience on the older man's face.

"That's ok. Come on, don't give up! Bring it back and try again. It just takes practise."

Steve still wasn't convinced but bringing the line back he tried again. This time Steve swung it back slower but the hook snagged his jacket from behind and now caught up in the line he fought back the embarrassment as Mike had to come over once more and untangle him. Mike could see how uneasy and mortified Steve was so he was desperately trying not to laugh but from where Mike stood it had looked rather funny so as he untangled his young partner he couldn't help the grin that appeared on his face. Unfortunately Steve caught the grin and so he felt he had suffered enough.

"Ok, that's it! I told you Mike. I'm not cut out to be a fisherman! I'm just going to watch you instead. I'm never going to get the hang of this! " and with that he turned to make his way back to the riverbank.

Mike realized that he had upset Steve by laughing and grabbed him as he turned.

"Oh come on now. Don't leave. I'm sorry for laughing. I didn't mean to upset you. Come on stay and try again."

But Steve felt he had enough humiliation for one day and was determined to get out of Mike's grip and out of the river! Mike was slightly annoyed that Steve was giving up so easily and not realizing how his words would unknowingly effect Steve he added.

"Don't be such a quitter Steve! You didn't even give it a chance!"

Steve stopped suddenly and looked at Mike as if he had just been slapped across the face. For a brief instant instead of seeing Mike standing in front if him he saw Uncle Henry and his bitter words from that dreadful night reverberated around his brain. "No-good quitter. You're just a no good quitter Steve! " Mike's words caught him off guard and he shook his head in a vain attempt to clear the bad memories.

"Steve? What's the matter? Did I say something wrong? Are you ok?"

Mike had become alarmed. Steve had wheeled around and looked at him strangely when he had spoken to him last and what little colour Steve had in his face, had practically drained away in front of his eyes. It was as if Steve wasn't actually looking at him but straight through him and his breathing had become laboured. His whole demeanor had changed and he was scaring the life out of Mike. Mike kept a strong hold on both of Steve's shoulders, half afraid that the young man would collapse and land in the river if he let go of him.

"STEVE ! What's wrong?Talk to me!"

Steve snapped back to the present and remembered where he was and saw Mike looking at him anxiously. He realized in that instant how odd his sudden flashback must have appeared to Mike and clearing his throat he tried to brush off Mike's concerns.

"I'm ... ok Mike."

"No you're not! What happened? Was it something I said? For heaven's sake Steve just tell me!"

Steve saw the desperation in Mike's face and knew he deserved an explanation.

"Ok, it's just that ... that's what Uncle Henry called me that night ..." Steve swallowed hard and continued. "A quitter ... a no good quitter!"

Steve turned his face away from Mike and Mike's face fell. He understood now what had caused Steve's alarming reaction. He knew how much Henry's words had obviously hurt Steve and for him to unwittingly use the same word must have been an awful shock for Steve. Feeling bad for his careless use of the word he squeezed Steve's shoulders and spoke from his heart.

"Steve! I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. You know I don't think of you as a quitter. I just wanted you to try a bit longer that's all. Look if you really want to just watch then that's ok buddy boy. I didn't ... well, I didn't mean to sound like him!"

Steve looked back at Mike and saw remorse all over his face. The last thing he'd meant to do was make Mike feel bad. After all he hadn't known what Henry had called him and the fact that simple word would have such an effect on him.

"It's alright Mike. I know you didn't. It's not you. It's me and this messed up head of mine. But you're right. I didn't give the fishing a chance. I'll try again if you'll show me one more time please?"

Mike smiled at his partner and patted him on the back.

"That's the spirit! Ok! Here hold the rod like I showed you! " Then Mike stood behind him and put his hand over Steve's and showed him how to swing the line back and forth and after two or three times he helped Steve cast out the line into the middle of the river.

"Ok buddy boy. That's all there is to it. You just have the get the feel for it. Ok, you try it for yourself now. Alright?"

Steve nodded and Mike moved back away from him to give him some room to swing. Steve tried four more times and on each occasion he hadn't managed it but this time he was determined to prove to himself and Mike that he could do it and in some foolish way he felt that he needed to prove to himself that Henry was wrong and that he wasn't a quitter. So with every bit of concentration he could muster he tried his hardest and on the fifth time the line sailed smoothly and landed in the flow in the middle of the river. Steve's face lit up and he smiled at Mike broadly.

"Hey! I DID IT! Mike! Did you see that? I did it!"

"Yes you did! Pretty smooth buddy boy! I knew you could. Good job!"

Mike patted Steve on the back proudly and smiled as he saw how pleased Steve was with casting out his line correctly for the first time. However it bothered him greatly that he had been so rattled by his Uncle Henry's mean and cruel words.

"So ... what do I do now?" Steve asked nervously.

"Now we wait buddy boy! If nothing bites after ten minutes, reel her in and cast it out again."

Mike cast out his line and Steve watched him. He was very impressed at how good he was at it and admired his patience. He watched Mike's expression and could see that he really enjoyed fishing.

"You really love this don't you?" Steve asked smiling.

"Yes I do, buddy boy. What's not to love? The outdoors, fresh air and being at one with nature. It's relaxing and satisfying."

"And wet!" Steve added teasingly." Besides, I don't have as much patience as you do!"

Mike chuckled.

"Oh I don't know about that. You have plenty of patience typing out those endless reports back in San Francisco. Huh buddy boy?"

"Yeah, I guess ... Hey Mike, you never told me what I am supposed to do if a fish bites on this line?" Steve asked anxiously, suddenly realizing that he wasn't sure what to do if he actually caught a fish!

"Don't worry! If you get a bite, I'll help you out. But I thought you said you used to go fishing with your Grandfather?"

"Well, I did ... but he set it up for me and I just sort of ... watched it. When I got a bite Harry would reel it in for me!" Steve answered rather embarrassed at his lack of proper fishing experience.

Mike chuckled and it was Steve's turn to glare at his partner as he spoke.

"Ok, ok very funny. But before you say anything it wasn't Harry's fault. He wanted to teach me properly ... I just ... never showed much interest in it I guess ..."

"Ok, that's alright. I'm sorry for laughing."

Then suddenly remembering something, Steve asked Mike.

"Hey Mike! Aren't you using those worms you got?"

Now Mike looked embarrassed and his face grew serious.

"No ... I wasn't allowed! Apparently there's no bait fishing allowed in the Tuolumne river. Gerry told me yesterday."

Now it was Steve's turn to chuckle.

"Ok, ok wise guy. I guess that makes us even!" and then getting serious he added "Say Steve! I am really sorry for calling you a quitter. I ... well ... I'm sorry ..."

"Forget it Mike! Like I said it's me, not you. Don't worry about it!"

Mike added carefully.

"And anyway, I thought I told you not to pay any heed to whatever he said to you. Remember?"

Steve looked over at Mike and then back at his fishing line.

"Yeah, I remember, but that's easier said than done Mike ..."

Mike once more felt sorry for his young partner so he decided to change the subject.

"Say you know Steve, you told me last night what you remembered about your mother? What about your father. What do you remember about him?"

In one way Steve was glad that the conversation had been steered away from his Uncle Henry but still didn't feel entirely comfortable about the new topic either. Sighing subconsciously he answered Mike.

"Not much ... I remember him playing ball with me. He had this really old and worn baseball mitt. He said it belonged to Joe DiMaggio! The story was that a friend of our family used to live beside the DiMaggios around the time he played for the San Francisco Seals. Anyway, somehow my Dad ended up with it. He really treasured that mitt. He used to tell me all the time that it would be mine one day ..." Steve trailed off as if he was lost in his memories, and although he was staring at where his fishing line was in the river, Mike could tell that he was a million miles away.

"Wow! Joe DiMaggios baseball mitt! That's some heirloom. Did you ever get it?"

Steve came back to the present and looked at Mike and sadly shook his head.

"No ... I don't know what ever happened to it. After the accident, Uncle Henry and Aunt Rose sold everything in the old house and gave the money to Harry to raise me with."

"Did you ever ask Harry about it?"

"Yeah, once. He figured that Uncle Henry had realized what it was worth and sold it. I heard them arguing about it once. Uncle Henry insisted he never knew where it went but I know Harry never believed him."

Mike could feel his anger rise within him. The more he heard about Henry the angrier he got. It was bad enough that he had treated Steve so badly as a child and said such hurtful things to the young man but to take and sell something that his father had meant him to have, was the lowest of the low. In that instant Mike almost wished he could meet Steve's Uncle while they were in Modesto, so he could tell him exactly what he thought of him! However not wanting to show his anger to Steve he answered instead.

"That's lousy buddy boy. It should have been yours. It's what your Dad wanted! Did you ever ask Henry or Rose about it?"

Steve just shook his head.

"Why not Steve?"

"I don't know. I guess at the time, I really didn't see the point."

Before Mike had a chance to argue exactly what the point was, Mike felt a pull on his line.

"Oh, here we go buddy boy! Watch and learn Steve! Watch and learn! "

Steve smiled and watched on in admiration as Mike easily reeled in the fish. He watched Mike's technique to try to learn from it. He pulled the rod then reeled, and repeated the action until the fish was very near.

"Steve, get the net for me. Will you please?"

Steve handed the net to Mike and he scooped the fish into it. Mike beamed proudly as he showed it to Steve.

"Brown trout. It's a beauty. See Steve, simple enough right?"

"You make it look easy alright!"

The next hour passed quickly. Steve got one bite but hadn't reeled it right so it got away and Mike had caught a second trout. It was coming up to midday and Steve had become very quiet. Mike figured it was because he was starting to think about their visit to Harry's place at two o'clock and that he was probably getting anxious about it. He watched Steve closely and saw him watching his line almost in a trance, totally lost in his own thoughts. Mike spoke and broke the silence.

"I'm sorry you didn't manage to catch one Steve. Maybe tomorrow you'll have more luck huh?"

"That's ok Mike. I wasn't really expecting to. Do you think we should finish it up now for today?"

"Time is moving on alright. "

Just as the words left Mike's mouth, there was another pull on Steve's line. Panicking slightly after the last time the fish had gotten away, Steve attempted to hand Mike the rod.

"Mike, you take it! "

"Steve, you'll never learn if I do it for you! Come on, you can do it! Pull and reel just like I showed you."

Steve tried to do as Mike asked but the fish seemed quite large and Steve was struggling a little. Mike could see that he was having difficulty so he made his way over beside Steve. He helped Steve hold the rod but as they pulled the line snapped. Mike stumbled backwards and before Steve could turn to grab him, Mike fell back and landed in the river.

"MIKE! Are you ok?" Steve shouted concerned that Mike could have hurt himself but as he looked around, he saw Mike sitting waist deep in the freezing water and something about the situation made him feel like laughing. Trying to suppress his laughter, he continued.

"Did you hurt yourself?"

"NO! I didn't ... just my pride! And don't you dare laugh buddy boy!"

"Sorry ... Mike ... " Steve said but he suddenly had a fit of the giggles. He was desperately trying not to laugh and reached out his hand to help Mike up.

"Here, take my hand and I'll help you up!" but as Mike grabbed Steve's hand, Steve saw a mischievous glint in the older man's eye.

"So you thought that was funny huh buddy boy?"

"No Mike! I didn't ... MIKE! ..." but his shout came too late as Mike pulled Steve and he overbalanced and landed in the river beside Mike.

Sucking in his breath as the freezing water soaked him, Mike spoke again.

"Not so funny now huh?"

"Oh ... I can't believe you just did that! Oh God, the water's freezing! Mike ... this is war!" and with an equally mischievous look in his eye he started splashing water at Mike, still laughing at the thought of a good water fight!

"Now Steve, be reasonable! " Mike pleaded teasingly but started splashing water back every bit as enthusiastically.

The two men laughed and threw water at each other for several minutes until Mike finally spoke through his laughter.

"Ok, ok I surrender. You win! Truce ... truce."

Steve stopped splashing and the two men giddily laughed and wiped the water from their faces.

"Remind me never to challenge you to a water fight again buddy boy!" Mike said still laughing, inwardly pleased, that while he was chilled to the bone, the ensuing water fight had taken Steve's mind off his impending trauma and had seemed to cheer him up.

Steve stood up carefully and reached out and helped Mike up too. Both men were soaked through and were shivering.

"I think we both better hit the showers Mike before we both end up with double pneumonia!" Steve ventured as they made their way back to the riverbank, Mike clasping his two prize trout as they went.

Steve clambered up first and then turned and helped Mike up. They walked or rather squelched their way down to the shower facilities and after a half hour had passed both men were showered, dried and changed into dry clothes. Mike put the fishing equipment back into the car while Steve made his way back to the camp and by the time Mike had joined him, he had lit a small fire and had made coffee to warm them up inside.

"Ah, just what the doctor ordered ! Thanks Steve!" Mike said as Steve handed him a cup of steaming hot coffee.

Both men sat warming themselves at the fire and savouring the hot coffee for several minutes before Steve broke the silence.

"Thanks for the fishing lesson Mike. It was ... interesting."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you enjoyed the water fight more than the fishing! Huh? Am I right buddy boy?"

Steve just laughed and Mike knew by the laugh he had read it right. But Steve inwardly knew why Mike had started the water fight. He knew he had done it to try to take his mind off the visit to Harry's place and he was grateful to the older man for it.

"I know why you started that by the way and ... thanks Mike."the younger detective said casting a grateful sideways glance at Mike before returning his gaze to the flames in the fire.

Mike caught the look and replied.

"Did it work?"

Again Steve chuckled. "Yeah ... it did!"

When they had drunk their coffee, Mike stood up.

"We had better make a move. It's one thirty. We don't want to be late."

Steve looked up at Mike anxiously and then got to his feet rather reluctantly.

"Yeah ... ok"

Steve dampened down the fire and they made their way down the trail to the car.

"Are you up to driving Steve?" Mike asked his partner." I'm not sure of the way to Harry's place."

"Yeah, that's ok. I can drive." Steve answered and he caught the keys that Mike threw over to him and they sat into the car.

Steve started the car and they drove off back in the direction of the airport so they could get back to the freeway. As Steve drove Mike suddenly spoke.

"Oh you know, I almost forgot to tell you, with everything that's happened, that I found out who bought Harry's place."

Steve whipped his head sideways and looked at Mike curiously.

"Who?"

"A Mr. Joseph Richards"

Steve facial expression changed but it was hard to read what his thoughts were behind it as he quickly returned his attention back to his driving while he seemed to process that information.

"Is that the Mr. Richards you told us about?"

"Yeah, looks like it! His name was Joe alright."

"Are you surprised he bought it?"

"No, not really. I guess it makes sense. He owns the house beside Harry's so buying that property just increases his own I suppose."

"How do you feel about him buying it?" Mike continued all the while keeping a close eye on his young partner.

"I guess it's better for someone I know to have bought it than a stranger. He was a good friend to Harry. Harry would have been pleased he bought it. Is he ... meeting us there?"

"Yes, the realtor said he'd be there waiting for us! Is that a problem?"

Once more Steve's expression was hard to read.

"No ... just I haven't seen him for a long time that's all!"

Mike knew this visit was going to be very hard on Steve and he vowed to keep a very close eye on him at all times. They drove on and soon they had arrived in Modesto. They drove straight through the town and turned and headed for the outskirts. About ten minutes out of town they came to a long country roadway. As Steve turned onto it, Mike noticed that Steve had slowed down somewhat and he seemed to be driving slower the further he drove down it. He watched his partner closely and saw that Steve's breathing was getting a little faster. They had travelled almost to the end when Steve suddenly stopped the car and looked over at Mike nervously. Mike was concerned and reached out a hand and squeezed Steve's shoulder .

"Steve? What is it buddy boy?"

"I don't know if I can do this Mike!" Steve announced with the sound of upset and panic in his voice.

"Alright now. Breathe nice and slow! I know you can do this! Steve? Remember what Lenny said. It probably won't be as bad as you're expecting it to be! And I'll be right beside you every second. Steve, you're one of the strongest people I know. Look at all you've come through so far. But it's entirely up to you. If you look me now, straight in the eye and tell me you can't go through with it, then I'll walk in there and explain and we'll leave. But it has to be you who decides. What's it going to be Steve?"


	13. Chapter 13

**Going Home**

** A/N: Another heartfelt word of thanks to all those who have continued to follow and read this story. I also want to say a very special word of thanks to the few people who I can always rely on to constantly and loyally leave me feedback. I appreciate it more than you will ever know and your kind words and encouragement are the reason this story is continuing at such a frantic pace. **

**As the reviews have fairly dried up over my last few chapters I sincerely hope it is due to Real Life being hectic for everyone and not because people have begun to lose interest in my story. I wanted to sincerely assure my readers that I have a clear plan for this story and am working towards it's conclusion methodically but there is still a lot more drama to come so be warned it will be a long story.  
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** In the meantime, for those who are still following here is the next very emotional chapter of Steve's return to Harry's house and apologies again that it is quite long ... my muse is very demanding and overactive these days ... :-)**

Chapter 13

Steve looked at Mike desperately. Then he visibly tried to slow down his breathing and he seemed to be trying to summon the courage to continue. After just a minute or two he seemed to make up his mind.

"Ok, Mike. You're right. How hard can it be right? It's just a house. I can do this! Thanks for the pep talk."

Then he started the car back up and drove the further small distance down the roadway until they arrived outside Harry's gate. Steve parked and looked once more uncertainly at Mike. Mike spoke gently.

"One step at a time. Ok?"

Steve nodded and they both got out of the car and they headed towards the gate. Steve brushed a hand across the red post box as they passed it by and his nightmare from the day before briefly crossed his mind again. He had to physically shut it out of his mind in order to make his feet move forward but he managed it and he pushed the gate open. It didn't creak like it had in his bad dream but it was in bad need of a coat of white paint. As he entered the yard it was slightly overgrown but again not as badly as in his nightmare. Mike stayed closely behind Steve but as they proceeded further a voice called out to them from the porch of the house.

"Good afternoon! Come on up!"

Mike and Steve saw the man standing on the porch and walked up towards him. Steve had fallen slightly behind as he seemed to be looking around the yard and perhaps remembering what it had all looked like fifteen years ago or maybe Mike reckoned he was a little anxious meeting Mr. Richards again after such a long time. Mike arrived at the porch first and Mr. Richards came down the steps to meet him. He had receding grey hair and a pleasant-looking face. Mike reckoned that the man was in his middle sixties or there about. He smiled broadly at Mike and held out his hand in a friendly gesture. Mike shook the man's hand.

"Good afternoon sir. You must be Mr. Richards. I'm Mike Stone. Mr. Newton told us you'd meet us here. Listen I want to thank you for allowing us to look around your property. I realize that it must have seemed an odd request but I believe you already know my friend here Steve Keller."

Mike stood to one side to allow Mr. Richards to see Steve. Steve smiled rather nervously at the older man and Mr. Richards came forward and clasped Steve's shoulders rather emotionally. He spoke with an equal amount of emotion in his voice.

"Steve! Look at you! You're a grown man now. It's really good to see you. When Mr. Newton called me and told me a previous resident wanted to view the property for personal reasons I had hoped it was you."

"It's nice to see you again too Mr. Richards. I appreciate you letting us look around."

"Steve I ... well I never really got to tell you how sorry I was about what happened. I should have never allowed you to walk home by yourself that day! I had promised Harry I would take you home and I've always felt ever since that I let him down and ... you too. I'm really sorry Steve that you had to go through that."

Mike watched Steve closely for fear that the conversation would upset his young partner but he was proud of the fact that even if Steve was feeling any bad effects from the conversation internally, he remained calm on the outside and he spoke quite normally.

"That's alright Mr Richards. It's all in the past. It wasn't your fault I left early that day. Things were a little crazy for a while afterwards. Most of that time is just a blur to me to be honest."

Mr. Richards looked sympathetically at Steve.

"Yes, I can imagine it was. Your aunt and uncle fairly whipped you off very quickly after the funeral. We never even got a chance to say goodbye to you or to wish you all the best. But I got a bigger shock when I heard they'd taken you out of the school!"

Steve knew Mike was listening to the conversation and the current topic made Steve very uncomfortable. He had hoped that snippet of information wouldn't have been raised but now that it had been, he could feel Mike's eyes and shocked expression scanning him mercilessly. Feeling a little uneasy as a result, Steve's mask started to slip, so a little more nervously than he would have liked he answered Mr. Richards.

"Yeah well, Uncle Henry decided it was for the best if I ... went to the same school his kids went to ..." Steve trailed off suddenly realizing how dumb that reason had been all these years.

"Your friends all missed you, you know? They kept asking me about you but I didn't have anything to tell them. Especially Davey ... he pestered me all the time for information. You remember Davey don't you? Davey Capshaw?"

At the mention of that name Steve felt a lump form in his throat. Actually a lump was not doing it justice. The emotion that name had evoked made the lump feel like a boulder that he didn't quite know how he was going to swallow back down. Davey had been his best friend since they had started school and their friendship had continued into high school. They had hung out together a lot and Davey had been a great friend to him for years after his parents passed away. Harry had been like a Grandfather to him too and had often had him over to the house to hang out with Steve. But after Harry's death, things had been crazy and Uncle Henry hadn't approved of his friendships. Henry had seen to it that he couldn't hang out with Davey anymore and the two had lost touch. But Steve had missed their friendship a great deal. Now hearing the name after so long, had left him reeling slightly. Realizing that he had remained silent for too long and noting that both Mr. Richards and Mike were now staring at him anxiously and feeling Mike's hand on his arm he quickly regained as much composure as he could and answered as normally as he could manage.

"Davey ... yes of course I remember him. Do you know whatever became of him?"

"Yes, actually I do." Mr. Richards answered smiling. " He's married now and they have a little girl Emily. She's ... oh about three years old now. He lives in town. Opened his own garage. I see him regularly. He services my truck now. You should call in to see him while you're in town. I know he'd be thrilled to see you. He still asks me sometimes if I know where you are or what became of you."

"His own garage huh? Well, he always liked tinkering with engines. Yeah ... yeah maybe I will call to see him. "

"Great, I'll get you his address."

"Thanks ..."

"So Steve, where are you living now and what did you take up as a career in the end?"

"I live in San Francisco now. I'm in the SFPD. I'm an inspector."

"Wow, a detective huh? Sounds exciting ... and probably dangerous too huh?"

"Yeah, sometimes. But most of the time it's rewarding."

"Are you married?"

Steve shook his head.

"No ... "

Then feeling that he needed to change the subject quickly he turned the questioning around.

"How's Mrs. Richards doing and Marcy wasn't it? Your daughter?"

"Oh, my wife is doing ok thanks. She has bad arthritis. She's not as mobile as she used to be but we do ok and Marcy... well Marcy's a journalist now. She works for a big fancy paper over in New York. We don't see a lot of her these days but she calls us every day. I had bought this place with her in mind. I had great plans to do it up for her so she'd be able to live close to us but ... Marcy had other ideas. That's kids for you huh? I'm sorry you have to see it like it is. When Marcy moved away from home, I lost the motivation to do anymore with the place and yet I didn't have the heart to sell it. I didn't want big developers moving in and destroying it. For Harry's sake I didn't want that to happen ..."

Mr Richards realized that he had rambled on a bit and quickly added.

"Anyway, enough about me. You came here to look around so be my guest. Here are the keys Steve. Could I ...ask you one small favour though?"

Steve smiled at Mr. Richards, suddenly feeling sorry for the older man after hearing his story. He remembered Marcy well. She had been about three years older than him and had always acted like she was better than everyone else. Being an only child meant that she had always been spoiled rotten and tended to get her own way. Harry had always said that she needed to be brought down a peg or two ...It didn't really surprise Steve that she had moved to the other side of the States without much concern for her father's wishes.

"Sure ask away."

"When you're done looking around ... would you come over to the house for some coffee and some lunch? My wife would really love to see you and we could chat a little more."

Steve wasn't too sure if he really wanted to chat more about the past and he didn't know what state he was going to be in after this visit. He also was very uncomfortable with the fact that Mr. Richards was revealing things to Mike that Steve would rather that he didn't find out about and knew that further conversations would probably yield more uncomfortable revelations to his partner yet he did feel sorry for the man standing before him and hated having to decline his kind offer. Deciding on what to answer he spoke.

"Mr. Richards, we've imposed enough on your good will. Really there's no need to ..." but before he could finish his sentence Mr. Richards had intervened.

"It's really no trouble. Please? Just for a short while. Will you come over? Both of you!"

Steve hadn't the heart to refuse. After all he had allowed them to look around. He glanced at Mike for assistance but the older man merely shrugged his shoulders.

"It's up to you Steve!"

"Ok, then ... sure. Thank you! Coffee would be nice. We'll call over shortly."

Mr. Richards shook Steve's hand warmly.

"Great! Well, take your time. I'll see you back at my house but now I'll leave you in peace to look around."

Steve nodded his thanks and stepped aside as Mr. Richards passed between both men and he watched as the older man headed back down towards the gate and off towards his own place. Steve stood for a few minutes holding the keys in his hand, inwardly dreading the conversation later in the Richards household. Coming back to the present he looked at Mike and saw Mike staring at him unnervingly.

"What Mike?"

"They took you out of your school?"

Steve sighed, fearing that Mike would pick up on that overheard fact.

"Mike ..."

"And away from all your friends?"

Steve could see the anger in Mike's eyes and he could hear it in his voice and was suddenly determined to make sure that Mike was not going to get the opportunity to meet his Uncle Henry this weekend. Some how he felt that a meeting between the two would not bode well for his aging Uncle.

"Mike ... please can we just do what we're here for? Let's not dwell on ... all the things that happened that I can't change. Ok?"

"But Steve! What they did was unnecessary and positively ..."

"MIKE ! I KNOW! Alright? It was tough, Ok? Is that what you want to hear? But talking about it isn't going to change it. I don't want to talk about that right now! I just want to get this over with. Ok?"

Steve looked down at his feet feeling slightly embarrassed. He hadn't meant to raise his voice at Mike but he really wasn't up to that conversation. His stomach was starting to somersault at the thoughts of entering Harry's house without having to dwell on how much he had missed his friends when he was fifteen years old. He shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other where he stood and glancing up at Mike, he mumbled.

"Sorry Mike ... I had said I wouldn't make a habit of snapping at you, didn't I?"

"No Steve!" Mike said realizing how insensitively timed his questions had been. Grabbing the back of Steve's neck gently as he often did, he continued. "I'm the one who is sorry. You're right. You've got enough to contend with right now, without me dragging up more unpleasant memories. Sorry buddy boy." But inwardly Mike was ever more determined to one day have the opportunity to give Steve's Uncle Henry a piece of his mind!

"It's alright Mike. Let's just do this ok?" and as Mike nodded Steve turned and made his way up the steps to the porch. As he stepped onto the porch he saw that it was not in as much disrepair as it had been in his nightmare. Unlike in his nightmare where there had been gaping holes and rotting floorboards which were treacherous to even walk on, the porch was still in good condition. Steve purposefully stepped on a particular board and heard the familiar creak and smiled.

"That one board used to drive Harry mad. No matter how he tried to fix it, it always creaked ..."

He looked at Mike and smiled as he recalled that simple memory and Mike smiled back but Steve's smile faded quickly as he looked and saw the porch swing seat that was positioned just in front of the window. Walking slowly over to it he placed a hand tenderly on it and set it in motion, slowly swinging it to and fro. He stayed watching it for several minutes, seemingly lost in his memories and Mike stood watching him, not wanting to disturb him but ready to step in and offer comfort if it was needed.

"Oh Mike! ... the number of times me and Harry sat on this swing and tried to put the world to rights! ..." Steve stated emotionally.

Mike came over behind Steve and spoke softly.

"Why don't you sit on it for a while?"

Steve looked at Mike curiously and then smiled.

"I don't think so Mike! It looks pretty rusty and I weigh a lot more now than I did then!"

Ruffling Steve's hair Mike teased.

"Now that, I find hard to believe! " Mike said chuckling, then turning more serious he added. "Go on! Sit down for a minute buddy boy!"

Steve looked once more tentatively at Mike and then moved reluctantly in front of the seat and very carefully sat down, really not too sure if it would hold him up but thankfully it seemed sturdy enough. Then he watched as Mike came over and sat beside him. As Mike sat down, the swing seat began to swing and it brought him back to his memories and he could almost pretend that Harry was once more there beside him. His heart started to beat faster and his breath caught in his throat. The grief of losing his beloved Grandfather suddenly filled him from out of nowhere and he could feel his emotions starting to waver.

"Is this where you two did your stargazing Steve?" Mike asked not realizing how close Steve was to breaking down.

Steve nodded as his eyes began to water and the boulder that had made itself known in his throat threatened to choke him. He desperately tried to fight back the upset but sitting in what had been his and Harry's favourite spot with the man who had effectively become the new "Harry" in his life was having a very upsetting effect on him.

When Steve had nodded instead of answering, Mike felt that something was dreadfully wrong and studying Steve more closely he saw the moisture in Steve's eyes. He shifted on the seat, wondering if he should leave Steve alone to cry it out, or if he should actively support the young man who had become like a son to him. He didn't want to cause the young man any further embarrassment and he knew that Steve would hate breaking down in front of Mike for the second time that week. However, while he was still trying to figure what his next move should be, Steve could not hold back the grief any longer. He quickly turned his face away from Mike and put his hand over his mouth in a vain attempt to stifle the sobs that threatened to escape from his lips. Mike saw the young man's shoulders shake and in that instant he made his decision. With his own heart breaking as he watched his partner's despair he put an arm around Steve's shoulders. He felt Steve try to pull away from him slightly, knowing that embarrassment was causing his reluctance to show his grief, but Mike was not going to allow him to grieve alone. This time Mike would make sure that he felt supported and cared about and so he spoke as many words of comfort as he could manage.

"It's alright Steve. Just let it out. I know you miss him! Don't bottle it up or try to hold it back. It needs releasing Steve. You've locked up your grief too long. Now you need to let it go. Do you hear me now? That's why we're here buddy boy. To give you this chance to mourn your loss."

Steve didn't answer but hearing Mike's words, he let the grief and despair wash over him and when the racking sobs ended he felt somehow lighter. As Steve's shoulders stopped heaving and his breathing became more regular, Mike stayed silent allowing his partner time to compose himself. Steve rubbed at his red eyes and his tear streaked face and from out of nowhere Mike's hand, holding his ever-present, ever-clean handkerchief, appeared in front of him. Steve accepted the handkerchief and glanced gratefully sideways at Mike. Mike smiled kindly at the young man and squeezed his shoulder supportively. Steve wiped his face and eyes with Mike's handkerchief and after a few more minutes he felt able to speak again.

"Mike ...I'm ..." before he could continue Mike interrupted.

"Don't you dare say you're sorry Steve. There's no need to say anything. This is me, Mike! Words aren't necessary. "

This made Steve smile and then rubbing at his face a second time and running a hand through his hair he nervously laughed.

"Just look at the state of me huh? And I haven't even gone inside yet! What am I like?"

"You're like a normal human being who's finally coming to terms with the loss of someone who was very important to him after all these years have passed. And I'm proud of you for it!" Then tentatively he added." Are you ready to go inside yet?"

Steve was extremely grateful for Mike's support and inwardly knew that if Mike hadn't come with him, he never would have made it past the gate in the first place. Suddenly his strength seemed to return and with renewed determination he nodded, stood up and headed for the front door inserting the key in the lock as he did. Mike quickly followed. Opening the door he pushed it open and went inside. The house was mostly empty but an odd piece of furniture still remained. The house was also very dusty and neglected. As Steve walked in, his footsteps made a hollow sound as they impacted on the wooden floor and echoed in the empty room. As Mike followed him closely behind, he heard Steve take a sharp intake of breath and watched as he walked towards an old wooden rocking chair that sat forlorn and on its own in the corner by the window. Mike quickly joined him and watched as Steve placed his hand gently on the back of the chair and rocked it back and forth.

"I always wondered what happened to this thing ... I thought it had got sold like everything else ..."

"Was that Harry's chair?" Mike asked, trying not to cause anymore unnecessary upset for Steve.

"Yes ... but it used to be my Grandmother's. Harry made it for her. After she passed away I think ... he felt close to her again when he sat in it. It meant a lot to him. I'm surprised that Aunt Rose left it behind."

After staring at the chair for several minutes under Mike's ever watchful eye, he seemed to pull himself back together and he pointed to the various rooms.

"This was the living room, in through there was the kitchen and there was a small parlour room through those double doors. Harry only used it when we had visitors. He gathered his friends over every Saturday night to play bridge. There were six of them altogether. They used to meet in each other's houses, you know take turns hosting it but after Harry took on the task of minding me, they used to just come here every week so that I wouldn't be disrupted."

Steve looked at Mike as he regaled the story afraid that perhaps he was boring the older man but Mike seemed to be genuinely interested in Steve's story and so Steve continued, smiling.

"I did pretty well out if it actually. It was like having six Grandparents for a while. When they'd come over they'd bring me sweets and some gave me pocket-money and this one lady, a Mrs. Corcoran, used to bake me cookies every Saturday, just for me. When she'd arrive, she always had this basket with her and as soon as she'd step on the porch, boy you could smell those cookies! Hmmmm ... they were to die for Mike!"

Steve closed his eyes briefly almost remembering what they smelt like and the joy they always brought. He opened them and smiled somewhat sadly at Mike.

"See, my childhood wasn't all bad !"

"Whatever happened to those other friends of Harry's? Did you ever see them again?"

"I don't know Mike ... I saw them at Harry's funeral. They came over like they always did. They told me to keep in touch but ... " Steve stopped and felt himself getting emotional again. He was still clutching Mike's handkerchief in his left hand and was now subconsciously twisting it between his fingers nervously.

"But what Steve?" Mike asked , placing a hand on Steve's arm for moral support fearing the reason Steve hadn't finished his sentence.

"But ... I never saw them afterwards. They're probably dead now too."

Mike felt somehow that Steve had changed his mind mid-sentence and had changed what he had been about to say and Mike couldn't help but feel that Steve's Uncle Henry had been responsible once again for Steve not keeping in touch with his Grandfather's friends. However considering the toll this visit appeared to be taking on the young man in front of him, Mike didn't want to force the issue any further for the time being.

Steve once more took off and headed for the kitchen. Nothing much was left in there except the old stove that had warmed him, the day Harry had died. But the back door seemed to draw his attention even more. Mike followed his gaze and questioned Steve.

"Is that the door that leads to where you found Harry, Steve?"

"Yeah ..." was all Steve managed to say and even that came out barely audibly.

"Do you want to go out there yet or would you rather look upstairs first?"

Steve stared at the door for a few more seconds trying to make his decision and then looked back at Mike rather sombrely.

"I think I'd rather go upstairs for the moment. I'm not ready to go out there just yet Mike."

Partially worried by Steve's answer but knowing that this whole visit had to be conducted on Steve's terms for it to be successful, Mike duly stood to one side and gestured for Steve to go on ahead.

"Ok. Lead the way Steve!"

Steve made his way to the staircase and went up them slower than Mike expected, as he fell in behind. As Steve reached the top and stepped onto the landing he went to the first door and gently pushed it open. The room was completely empty and Steve commented.

"This was just a spare room. Harry used to store stuff in here. I guess this was one of the first rooms they cleared."

Then passing along he came to the second door but as Steve placed his hand on the door handle he paused momentarily. Taking a deep steadying breath he turned briefly to Mike to explain his brief hesitation.

"This one was my bedroom."

The older man placed a hand on Steve's shoulder for moral support and Steve opened the door slowly and stepped inside. He had expected it to be just as empty as the last room but gasped audibly when he saw that his bed was still there and there was a wooden desk under the window and a bookcase that no longer held any books. He covered his mouth with his hand as he hadn't meant to gasp so loudly that Mike could hear but the sight of his room again after so long had caused the involuntary reaction. He felt Mike squeeze his shoulder and knew that he had heard it.

Walking over to the wooden desk, he placed a hand on it affectionately and spoke with a slight noticeable waver in his voice.

"Harry made this desk for me to do my homework on and he also made that bookcase over there too."

Steve's hand remained on the desk as if the fact that Harry had made it connected him to his beloved Grandfather in some small way.

"He must have been quite the carpenter!" Mike asked admiring the beautiful woodwork that had stood the test of time so well.

"Yeah, he was. He had an area out in the garage with all his woodwork tools in it and a workbench. He could make anything at all out of wood." Steve explained and once again Mike felt a pain in his heart as he heard the sad undertones in Steve's voice.

Next Steve went and sat on the bed and looked around the room lost almost in his memories and Mike figured that he was remembering all the times he had spent in this room and only hoped that he was remembering the good times along with the bad ones. Mike allowed the young man several minutes of silence and merely remained an onlooker, watching for any signs that Steve needed him but he was relieved when eventually Steve rose from the bed and headed for the door, turning just one more time to look around nostalgically before he exited and headed for the last door on the landing.

Again as he approached it, he slowed up and stood for several seconds, taking deep steadying breaths and Mike came to stand beside him and felt the need to ask.

"Steve ... Are you ok?"

"Yeah ... that was Harry's room. It's where the window is that I saw him lying on the ground from. Mike ..."

Steve's voice broke and a solitary tear fell down his cheek. Mike clasped the young man once more around the shoulders and that simple act seemed to help Steve to pull his shattered emotions back under some form of control.

"I know this is difficult buddy boy. You don't have to go into that room you know, if it's too much to handle. But it's up to you. Ok?"

"I know. Thanks Mike. But I have to ..."

"Steve you don't have to ..."

"Yeah, yeah I do ..." and then looking at Mike squarely and with conviction in his eyes along with the tears he restated." I do Mike ... but I need to go in here alone please."

Understanding in that instant, that Steve needed to visit the areas of the house where he suffered the most trauma in order to put the trauma behind him, Mike let go of Steve's shoulders and spoke once more sympathetically.

"Ok Steve. I understand but I'm just out here if you need me. Ok?"

Steve forced a smile at his partner as one more tear fell from his eye and he used Mike's handkerchief that he was still grasping to wipe it away as quickly as it fell.

"I know you are ... Thanks."

And then quickly turning from Mike before he lost his nerve he opened the door slowly and stepped inside, closing the door over as he went but not fully closing it either, subconsciously needing to know that it was not fully locked.

Alone mostly, now in Harry's bedroom he saw that nothing but Harry's bed and a plain bedside locker remained in his room. He went over and sat down on the bed. It felt strangely comforting in this room compared to the others, almost as if ... Harry's spirit was here with him.

He smiled as for some unknown reason the memories that assaulted him were of all the Christmas mornings that he had bounded excitedly into this room to wake Harry at the crack of dawn and ask him if Santa had come yet. He remembered fondly how Harry would laugh and reach for his glasses and never complaining in all the years he had rudely awakened him, he would get up, put on his robe and slippers and go with his grandson downstairs just to check! They were happy times and Steve missed them dearly.

Coming back to the present the window drew his attention. It was almost calling him over and yet his feet felt grounded where he sat. Eventually, taking one deep breath he stood up and walked towards the window, his footsteps unsteady, his heart pounding in his chest. As he came to the window he looked down at the very spot he had fifteen years ago and stared at that patch of ground nervously. Of course all he saw were grass and weeds but in his mind's eye he saw the body of Harry. The day was mild, bright and dry but again in Steve's mind he saw the torrential rain falling and the drops as they streaked down the glass and partially obscured his vision of the horrific sight that lay down below. He touched the glass and for a brief moment he felt a comforting presence standing right behind him. Figuring that Mike had felt his upset and had come in to support him he almost whispered over his shoulder.

"I'm ok Mike. You don't have to worry" but as he glanced behind him there was no-one standing there!

He scanned the room and called out calmly "Mike?"

Mike immediately pushed the door open and entered from the landing concerned about why Steve had called him.

"Yes Steve... are you ok?"

Realizing then, that Mike hadn't been in the room he allowed himself a strange thought that maybe, just maybe ... but decided to put it down to the stress and upset of the moment, although somehow he felt more settled and more at peace than he had been of late. When Steve hadn't answered him immediately, but had seemed to be deep in thought, Mike became worried and quickly entered the room and clasped Steve's shoulders gently.

"Steve! Are you alright?"

Steve snapped back to the present and smiled at Mike.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Actually I think I feel up to going outside now. Let's go!"

And with that Steve turned and headed determinedly and with purpose out the door. Mike had noticed a distinct positive change in Steve's mood and glanced around the room wondering what could have caused it but decided to just be grateful for it instead and quickly headed out after Steve to help him face whatever still lay outside to be overcome.


	14. Chapter 14

**Going Home**

**A/N: Thank you so much for all those who read and reviewed my last chapter. Your kind words mean more than you will ever know. Sorry for the delay in updating this story. Real life has been hectic. But here is the next installment. I hope you all enjoy it!  
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Chapter 14

Steve raced down the stairs, fuelled on nervous energy and a new determination to face his fears head on, that seemed to have struck him from out of nowhere while up in Harry's old bedroom. Mike struggled to even catch up on him but finally did, as Steve hurried toward the back door of the kitchen. Grabbing his elbow to slow him down slightly, Mike spoke purposefully.

"Hey, hey buddy boy, slow down will you? Take it easy. Ok? What's the rush? Are you alright?"

Steve stopped and turned to look at Mike, realizing that he had indeed been speeding along, his breath a little ragged from his rapid descent down the stairs. Checking himself a little he looked at Mike apologetically.

"Sorry ... I just need to go out there and stop ... thinking about it. You know?"

"I know ..." Mike replied sympathetically. "Just take your time and give yourself a chance to deal with it. Ok?"

Steve nodded that he understood Mike's advice and then turning back towards the door he took a deep steadying breath and turned the handle. He opened the door and stood out on the back porch. His first instinct was to look at the spot where Harry had lain all those years ago but he resisted the urge and glanced towards his Grandfather's allotment instead. Expecting to see it all overgrown and neglected like in his previous day's nightmare, he drew in another deep breath as he saw that it had been lovingly cared for and was tidy and well-tended. Mike followed Steve's gaze and saw what Steve was marvelling at and saw the emotion on his partner's face. Steve had spoken many times about how he and his Grandfather had worked on that allotment together and always being able to read Steve's thoughts, Mike figured that he hadn't expected it to be so well cared for in the many years since Harry's death.

"I guess Mr. Richards has looked after Harry's allotment all these years huh? It sure looks well looked after. Eh, buddy boy?"

Steve looked at Mike as he had spoken, but didn't trust his voice to answer so he merely nodded and forced a smile at the older man. Turning from the allotment he finally found the courage to make his way towards the spot where he had found Harry. He walked slowly and then looked all around as if he were trying to pinpoint the exact spot from his memory. Mike didn't interrupt or interfere with his calculations but just stood and observed Steve, ready to rush forward if he was needed. But Steve merely dropped onto his knees in one particular place and touched the ground as if it would encourage it to speak to him. In rather a shaky voice, Steve spoke.

"I found him here ... right here in this spot."

Mike was curious.

"How can you be so sure it was that exact spot?" Mike asked, seeing as the ground all looked exactly the same to him and figuring that at the time it occurred, between the shock and the torrential rain, it would have been difficult to guess exactly where the two of them had remained waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

Mike waited patiently while Steve seemed to be trying to pull his emotions together enough to speak. Before he did he pointed right in front of where he was kneeling at the house and as Mike looked to see what he was pointing at, he saw a downpipe that was running down the back of the house from the gutter up above. Looking at Steve curiously he saw that Steve hadn't taken his eyes off it and then Steve spoke sombrely.

"The rain that day was pouring out of that pipe. I remember watching it while I held him."

As Steve stayed kneeling on the ground, Mike felt great sympathy for the younger man. He wanted to say something that would help Steve but he struggled to know the right thing to say. Instead he said the only thing that came to him.

"You remember what Lenny said buddy boy? It's just a piece of ground where something bad happened a long time ago. That's how you to have to see it Steve!"

Steve looked sadly at Mike, knowing that the older man was right but kneeling here now, he felt strange. Like something was wrong ... something wasn't right. But he couldn't figure out what it was! All the painful memories and feelings of that day seemed to fill his head and his heart again. He closed his eyes and remembered his Grandfathers cold and wet body and how it felt as he held it tightly in his arms. He felt once again the bitter cold and sting of the rain as it soaked him through mercilessly and ran down his face and neck chilling him to the bone. He remembered shivering with the wet, the cold and the shock of finding Harry so cold and so unresponsive. He remembered the sound the rain made as it gushed from the downpipe and the endless minutes that passed as he desperately waited for help to arrive. Help that never came! He remembered crying, his tears hidden by the rain that fell and mingled with the tear drops that fell down his cheeks. He remembered talking to Harry, through chattering teeth, as he begged him not to leave him and trying to keep the merciless rain from his grandfather using the old raincoat. He remembered looking up at the dark grey sky and begging whoever was listening to send him some help and finally he recalled the relief that tore through his broken heart as he heard the distant sirens of the ambulance as it finally approached.

Steve remained lost in his thoughts with his eyes closed but Mike could see the different emotions written all over his face and knew he was reliving the trauma all over again. He knew that he had to allow him to, for the sake of his getting over it, but with every fibre of his being, he wanted to haul the young man to his feet and get him away from his torment and far away from the bad memories that haunted him. Just as he was contemplating doing just that though, Steve's eyes opened and a solitary tear trailed down his cheek. Again, with Mike's handkerchief still twisted in his hand, he wiped it away and looked once more at the ground on which he knelt.

It wasn't overgrown and horrific like in his bad dream. No worms or any other creature in sight. No weeds to snag him. No decaying body to horrify him. Just earth and patchy grass. So plain and unassuming that no one would ever know what had happened there ... That was it! That was what was wrong! The one thing that was bothering him! He had worked it out! He glanced around hurriedly and his eyes seemed to be searching for something over at the allotment. Mike noticed the change from total despair to one of distinct purpose and worried what had caused it. Lenny had specifically told him to let Steve deal with his traumas in Harry's house in whatever way Steve saw fit, without any interference from Mike but Mike was finding it hard to obey that advice and was struggling not to step in and comfort the young man. Now concerned about what he was frantically looking for, he stepped forward slightly towards where Steve was kneeling and spoke urgently.

"Steve? What's the matter? Is something wrong?"

Steve looked up at Mike and Mike wasn't happy with what he saw. There was a mix of desperation and need in the young man's eyes and Mike couldn't stand it any longer and rushed forward and grasped the young man firmly by the shoulders and lifted him to his feet. Steve was surprised by Mike's action but saw the worry in his partner's eyes and knew in that instant he had to explain himself.

"Don't you see Mike? That's what's wrong! It's not just a piece of ground! Harry died there! I ... finally know what I need to do! "

And with that Steve pulled from Mike's grasp and headed for the allotment. Passing through it, he disappeared into the small greenhouse that lay just behind it. Mike watched his partner go and his worry increased. He began to hope that revisiting this spot hadn't pushed him over the edge! He didn't quite understand what Steve had said but Steve's last sentence stayed with him " He knew what he needed to do!" In that moment Mike decided that his next move would be to help Steve do whatever it was he felt he needed to, in order to be at peace here, so he raced after his partner one more time and followed him into the greenhouse. As he entered he saw Steve looking at all the plants, but could tell by his frustration that he wasn't finding the one he was looking for.

"Steve? What are you looking for?"

"A white gardenia Mike! They were Harry's favourites. He used to have tons of them in here. I need one Mike!" Steve answered desperately.

Mike's heart was aching again as he heard the desperation in Steve's voice and yet he inwardly feared that in the fifteen years that had passed since Steve had been here perhaps there were no longer any white gardenias left in the greenhouse! But Steve needed one and so suddenly Mike felt strongly determined that if Steve needed a white gardenia then he would find him one! Luckily Helen had been a keen gardener and she had managed over their many years of marriage to teach Mike a lot about the different types of plants and flowers so he joined Steve in his search for the elusive plant. After ten minutes of searching Steve had just about given up. He felt deflated and disappointed, almost as if he had let Harry down for a second time. He sat heavily down on a wooden crate that was beside him and put his head in his hands. He could feel tears threatening to form in his eyes and his heart felt strangely heavy in his chest.

Mike saw Steve sitting down and saw the despair and angst in every part of his body language and became ever more determined to find one! As he searched the rows and rows of potted plants he was starting to feel that it was a hopeless task too but in a moment of inspiration he closed his eyes and silently prayed that he would find the one plant that Steve so desperately needed. He wasn't sure if he was praying to Harry, or Helen or just solely to God or indeed to anyone who could hear and answer his prayer but as he stood there with his back to Steve and with his eyes closed he could almost hear his late wife Helen's voice in his head. He remembered how Helen had told him that gardenias wouldn't be in bloom this time of year but that their leaves were very distinctive. They were broad, dark green and glossy with a leathery texture! He pictured them in his head and he opened his eyes with renewed hope. He looked again along the row in front of him and on the shelf below and his heart skipped a beat as he reached in and pulled a potted plant from the bottom row. He recognized the leaves and as he turned the plant pot around he saw the label on the pot. Yes! It was a gardenia! He held it in his shaking hands, relieved that he had found one, knowing how much it would mean to Steve and looking once more up to heaven he silently thanked whatever person had answered his prayer.

Walking back towards Steve very pleased with himself, he noted that Steve never even looked up as he approached. The young man looked crestfallen and Mike placed a hand on the young man's shoulder.

"Steve? Buddy boy?"

Steve still remained with his head in his hands and simply answered barely audibly not looking at Mike for fear he would see the tears that were threatening to appear.

"Yeah Mike?"

"Is this what you were looking for? " Mike asked simply as he held out the plant in front of Steve.

Steve dropped his hands and saw the plant that Mike held and as he saw the plant that he recognized as Harry's favourite he looked at Mike in disbelief forgetting all about the tears that were now firmly glistening in his eyes.

"Mike ... Where? How did you find one?" Steve stammered.

Mike squeezed the young man's shoulder and smiled warmly.

"Oh, let's just say I had some divine inspiration buddy boy. Were you planning on planting this out in the spot where you found Harry ... as a marker or memorial of some sort?"

Steve merely nodded as another involuntary tear trailed down his cheek. This time he didn't even try to wipe it away.

"Well, I think that's a swell idea Steve. Here ... you're going to need this too so!"

Mike handed him a small green trowel aswell. Steve stood up slowly and took the plant and the trowel from Mike. He wanted to thank Mike but there was a lump in his throat and he couldn't get the words past it. Holding the plant and the trowel in one hand he reached out and squeezed Mike's arm and Mike could see that he was struggling to speak but read the firm gratitude in his partner's eyes. Placing his own hand over Steve's, he smiled again and spoke gently.

"I know Steve ... and you're welcome! Now go on, that's not going to plant itself you know! I think I might just sit here for a while on this crate you've found. All this running around after you is not doing my camper's knees or back any good!" Mike said rubbing his knees and sitting down heavily on the wooden crate and smiling warmly at the younger man.

Steve smiled at Mike and the older man added.

"If you need any help just shout. Ok?"

Steve nodded.

"Ok ... thanks." and he turned and exited the greenhouse and headed for the spot where he wanted to plant the gardenia.

As Mike sat he watched Steve from the open door of the greenhouse. Suddenly he felt so proud of his young partner. Planting Harry's favourite flower in the spot where Harry died was a lovely idea and if it helped Steve to move on from the trauma then all the better. Watching, as Steve knelt down and began digging the soil, Mike's mind drifted back a ways and it reminded him of the many times he had sat at the garden table out in his back garden back in San Francisco and watched Helen planting her favourite flowers, pink roses. Just like Steve was now, she would be engrossed in her task and when her plants were planted she would stand up and admire them and then smiling she would look up at where Mike sat and she would wave affectionately at him.

Mike smiled at the memory and rubbed the aching muscles in his lower back. He found himself thinking about Helen. He had loved her so much and not a day went by that he didn't think about her or miss her. As he sat sadly watching Steve as he planted, a sudden gentle breeze blew in through the open greenhouse door and a single pink rose petal blew in and landed at Mike's feet. Mike looked down at the ground in amazement and quickly looked around to see where it could have come from. But he saw no roses in bloom anywhere in the greenhouse. He figured that it must have blown in from outside although he didn't remember seeing any roses outside either. As he stooped and picked up the petal another breeze blew in through the greenhouse door and blew gently on his face. Mike held the petal and closed his eyes and the breeze felt strangely comforting to him. The light touch of the breeze on his face reminded him of the way Helen would gently hold his face in her hands before she would plant a tender kiss on his cheek and he felt his own emotions fray. As suddenly as the breeze had come, it had died down just as suddenly and as Mike opened his eyes he noted that there didn't seem to be any breeze blowing outside. The plants in the allotment stood tall and unmoving and for just a second Mike began to wonder if ... just possibly ... Mike smiled a tearful smile and very carefully he removed his wallet from his trouser pocket and he placed the petal into it, snuggled right behind the small photo of Helen he carried everywhere with him. He tenderly placed his finger on the photograph and smiling at it, as a single tear trailed down his cheek he whispered.

"Thanks for the help sweetheart! "

Then he put his wallet away and rubbed the tear from his face as he stood up to go and join Steve. As he reached his partner, he noticed that Steve had just finished planting the gardenia. He was kneeling and fixing the remaining soil back around the plant. He heard Mike approach and looked up at Mike as he arrived beside him.

"Is your back ok?" he asked with concern in his face.

"Don't worry about me buddy boy. I'll live ... it's just a little stiff that's all! " Mike said as he placed a hand on the young man's shoulder.

He was touched by Steve's concern especially seeing that he had so many other things to contend with right now. He also noticed something else. Steve seemed more at peace since planting the marker. So he spoke gently to the young man.

"You did a good job planting that buddy boy. It looks well. I think ... well ... I think Harry would be pleased."

Steve smiled up once more at Mike grateful for that observation.

"Yeah. I think he would to. I just hope Mr. Richards doesn't mind me planting it . After all it's not my place to plant anything here. I just had to mark it in some way Mike. I didn't want it to be just a patch of ground. Not when it was where he ..."

Steve voice was breaking again and Mike squeezed his shoulder.

"It's alright buddy boy. You don't have to explain it to me. I understand it's what you needed to do. And don't worry, I'm sure Mr. Richards will understand too. Ok?"

Steve nodded gratefully at his partner but somehow he felt easier now as he knelt in that spot. He stared at the gardenia and it felt right that he had placed it there. It was as if where death once was, now new life grew. It was a fitting memorial and Steve knew that he could now put it behind him. It had been a tough visit but it had been worth it. Lenny had been right. He had needed to revisit it. He had needed to face his demons. Kneeling where he was, he glanced up at the house and for a split second he swore he saw Harry's face smiling at him from his bedroom window. He squinted closer and sucked in a deep breath.

"Mike!" he called grabbing Mike's sleeve suddenly, his eyes not leaving the upper window.

Steve startled Mike and Mike wondered what had caused his reaction. Following Steve's gaze, he looked but couldn't see anything alarming. Reckoning that maybe Steve was again perhaps reliving something in his memory that had happened that fateful day he spoke sympathetically.

"Steve? What is it? I don't see anything. Are you remembering something?"

Puzzled at first that Mike couldn't see what he was seeing, he looked at Mike and then back at the window, only this time the face had disappeared. Steve put it down to lack of sleep or wishful thinking ... or perhaps it was a sign that Harry approved of his memorial. Steve smiled to himself and suddenly knew that his job here was done. However realizing that he was scaring Mike by his silence he first spoke to Mike.

"Sorry, I just thought ... well never mind. I'm done here Mike! Let's just lock the house back up and go, ok?"

Mike held out a hand and helped Steve up off the ground. He was still watching him closely hoping he wasn't putting his usual brave face on how he was feeling but Mike had to admit that his gut instinct, which very rarely steered him wrong, was telling him that this visit had been successful and that Steve had indeed fully dealt with his trauma. They locked up the house and Steve swung the porch swing seat one last time as he passed it by. Then they headed down towards the gate and after one nostalgic glance from Steve back up at the house, they walked to the car and sat back into it.

"Are we going to the Richards house now?" Mike asked casually.

Steve nodded somewhat reluctantly. Mike noticed the reluctance and questioned Steve.

"You don't seem keen. As a matter of fact you didn't seem keen when he asked you before either. Don't you want to go over there?"

"Not really." But seeing Mike's curious reaction to that statement, Steve felt that he had better explain. " Look Mike don't get me wrong. I like the Richards. They're good people. They were always very good to me. It's just that ... they tend to ask a lot of questions and ..."

" and you don't feel like answering a lot of questions right now. Is that it buddy boy?" Mike finished the sentence for him.

Steve couldn't help but smile as Mike once again read his mind.

"Yeah, something like that."

Although he didn't fully admit that it was more that he didn't want Mike to hear some of the possible answers to those questions. Little did he know that Mike had already guessed that part too but hadn't mentioned it.

"Ok, well I'll tell you what buddy boy. We'll go and be polite and have coffee but if at any stage you get uncomfortable with the questions we'll have a code word. Something that you say casually and when I hear it, I'll make some excuse and get us out of there. What do you say to that?"

Steve laughed.

"A code word? Mike! I think you've watched too many spy movies lately!"

This made Mike laugh too and the laughter felt good after the tension of dealing with the trauma at Harry's place.

"Ok, ok funny guy! But it could work. Come on! Work with me. What code word do you want to use? It has to be something casual that they won't notice."

"I don't know Mike ... em ... what about if I mention Jeannie!"

"Jeannie?"

"Yeah, well think about it. They're not going to mention her because they don't know her and so if I bring her up in the conversation then you'll know I want to get the hell out of there! Ok?"

Mike smiled broadly at Steve and tapped his temple with one finger.

"Now you're thinking buddy boy! That might just work! Ok, Jeannie it is!"

Steve put the key in the ignition but before he started the engine, Mike watched as he stopped and reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a comb. Using the rearview mirror he combed his hair back into place, replaced the comb back in his pocket, rubbed at his eyes and face roughly and then looked anxiously over at Mike.

"Do I look ok Mike?"

Mike smiled and patted Steve's arm.

"You look fine!"

"You know what I mean Mike ... do I look like I've been ..." Steve couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence and looked sheepishly away.

Mike looked sympathetically at his young partner knowing that he was anxious about whether it would be visible to Mr. Richards that he had been upset in Harry's house. Steve's eyes did look a little tired but they weren't red rimmed or swollen so he smiled again at Steve and answered.

"Yes, I know what you mean and no, it doesn't look that. You just look tired that's all. Now come on. Let's get this over with ok?"

"Ok ... thanks Mike. Yeah, you're right."

And with that Steve turned the engine on and looking over his right shoulder he backed the car up to the previous driveway. The gate was open so Steve drove straight in and up the slight incline to the neighbour's house. Parking outside, Steve took a deep breath as he saw the porch door swing open and Mr. Richards appeared waiting to welcome them. He really hoped this visit would go well and began to feel his anxiety levels rise again. Mike sensed his partners nervousness and shot him a supportive look.

"Remember Steve! Jeannie, ok?"

Steve smiled and nodded and the two men exited the car and walked the short distance to where Mr. Richards stood waiting.


	15. Chapter 15

**Going Home**

Chapter 15

Steve was the first one to greet Mr. Richards this time. Stepping up onto the porch he retrieved the house keys from his jacket pocket and handed them to the older man.

"Here are the keys Mr. Richards and thanks again for letting us look around. I really appreciate it."

Mr. Richards took the keys from Steve and seemed to be studying how the visit to Harry's place had affected the young man in front of him. Steve felt very uncomfortable under Mr. Richards gaze and looked back at Mike who seeing Steve's discomfort, hurried up onto the porch and shook Mr. Richards' hand warmly, again distracting him momentarily from his task.

"Yes, , it really was very kind of you to allow us to view the property. We sure are grateful."

Mr. Richards shook Mike's hand and flustered slightly.

"Not at all. I'm glad I could help. " Then turning back to Steve he added. "Were you ok over there Steve?"

Steve wished at that moment that the ground would swallow him up. However he forced a smile at the older man and spoke as normally as his nerves would allow.

"Yes, thanks. I hope you don't mind but ... I ... I planted one of Harry's favourite flowers in the spot where he ... "

The lump had made itself known again and Steve cursed the fact that he couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence. As he read the pity all over Mr. Richards' face he started to blush involuntarily. Again Mike came to his rescue.

"The boy hoped you wouldn't mind. I told him a good friend of Harry's like yourself would understand that he needed to mark the spot where it happened. After all it's a fitting tribute wouldn't you say?"

"Of course, that's fine. I think that's a lovely idea actually. I'll take care of it for you Steve ... and for Harry."

Again he directed his answer towards Steve and Steve managed to nod gratefully and proffer his thanks.

"Well, let's not stand around out here any longer! Come on in gentlemen. My wife is looking forward to seeing you and the coffee is hot and lunch is ready. You fellows must be hungry. Follow me!"

Mr. Richards turned and entered the house but Steve never moved. Mike went to follow and noticed that Steve was rooted to the spot. He looked unnerved by the conversation already and he began to worry about how he would cope when he was actually inside. He quickly placed a hand on the young man's shoulder and moved closer so that any listening ears wouldn't hear his conversation.

"Steve, what's the matter?"

"I don't think I can do this Mike!" Steve said desperately to his partner, upset clear in his voice and demeanor.

"Yes you can Steve! Come on now! We won't stay long and I've got your back! Ok?"

Steve smiled at that statement duly noting that in the course of the last few minutes he had rescued him twice from prying eyes and questions. Feeling a little braver as a result, with Mike there to run interference when he needed him to, he nodded at the older man and moved towards the door. Mike followed behind him closely and they entered the house.

It was a quaint, well cared for home, filled with a lot of trinkets and ornaments. Steve vaguely remembered in that instant, that Mrs. Richards collected them as a hobby. She certainly had a lot more now than when Steve had been in this house last all those years ago. Deciding a change in topic of conversation would be beneficial to him he spoke to Mr. Richards who had been waiting for them further inside.

"I see Mrs. Richards still collects ornaments huh? She has quite a collection now!"

Mr. Richards smiled at the fact that the younger man remembered his wife's hobby and answered.

"Yes, she sure does. You could say it's her pride and joy! She's just in the living room there. Please go in and make yourself at home. I'll bring in the refreshments."

Steve entered the living room and saw Mrs. Richards sitting in a large comfortable armchair by the fireplace. She had a blanket over her knees and Steve noticed two walking sticks, one on each side of her chair. As she saw the two men enter she appeared to be struggling to stand to greet them but Steve rushed forward and spoke gently.

"Mrs. Richards! Please don't try to get up just for us! It's alright."

And with that Steve took her arm gently and helped her to sit back down. He carefully picked up and replaced the blanket over her lap, that had fallen to the floor when she had attempted to stand. The older woman sat back down and settled herself and placed a hand gently on the side of Steve's face. Steve was sure he saw slight tears in her eyes as she spoke.

"Steve Keller! Look at you! Still the same caring and mannerly young man I remember! Thank you. My knees aren't what they used to be I'm afraid. Years of arthritis have taken their toll. My! I can't get over what a handsome young man you've become. Please sit down. Joe has refreshments ready!"

Steve blushed again slightly and moved to one side.

"Mrs. Richards. This is my colleague from back in San Francisco and a very good friend of mine, Mike Stone."

Mike Stone stepped forward and warmly shook Mrs. Richards' hand.

"Pleased to meet you Ma'am."

"The pleasure is all mine gentlemen. Do sit down. Are you home for long Steve?"

"No Ma'am. Just for four days. "

"What brought you back to us after such a long time? "

Steve squirmed slightly in his seat and Mike watched him closely. He began to see what he meant by all the questions these people liked to ask.

"Well, I guess I just reckoned it was about time I came home and revisited some old places. My work keeps me busy so I haven't had much opportunity to get home as much."

"Your work. Oh yes! Joe told me you were a police officer in San Francisco now! "

"He's actually an Inspector you know and he was the youngest person ever to achieve that rank!" Mike interjected proudly and Steve shot him an embarrassed look.

Mike smiled at Steve's humility.

"Oh well that is wonderful! You must be very good at your job in that case! Harry would be proud! Mind you, those mannerly and caring ways must make you a very good officer indeed!"

As Steve turned a delicate shade of red at the ream of compliments, Mike continued to discuss his partner's attributes with the kindly lady he had just met.

"Yes, I've always said that about Steve. What makes him so good is that he cares and it shows in his work."

Mrs. Richards nodded her head in agreement and continued.

"Oh yes Mr. Stone. You are so right. Why did you know that as a boy, Steve used to always call over and ask if I needed anything at the store in town? And he often helped Mr. Richards around the place with painting and fixing up things. He was such a good helper! Always so polite and helpful! Harry always spoke about how proud he was of his grandson!"

Steve was feeling very awkward being talked about openly by Mike and Mrs. Richards and for the second time in a matter of minutes he began to wish that the floor would swallow him up and save him from this torture. Luckily just then Mr. Richards entered carrying a large tray filled with coffee and refreshments. Steve was grateful of the distraction and jumped up to help him.

"Here let me help you with that!" he said taking the heavy tray from the other man and placing it carefully on the coffee table.

"Thanks Steve. Would you mind getting the two plates of sandwiches from the kitchen for me too please while I pour the coffee? You know where the kitchen is don't you?"

Steve nodded, grateful for the chance to escape even for just a short while and so he quickly headed out the door and down the hall to the kitchen at the back of the house. As he entered he closed the door behind him and stood with his back to it. He knew this visit would be a nightmare and he had been right! Mike and the lady of the house seemed to be getting on like a house on fire and knowing that the conversation would soon turn to his time in his Uncle's house, Steve felt butterflies in the pit of his stomach. He saw the back door and his first instinct was to use it, to escape the inevitable interrogation but he knew that wasn't an option so instead he walked over to the table and picked up the two plates of sandwiches. From first look they appeared to be ham and cheese and the other ones tuna. Steve's stomach started to churn. He really didn't feel like eating at all and wondered how he was going to avoid having to eat any, but he knew that he was delaying the inevitable so, taking a deep breath he opened the kitchen door and returned to the living room albeit somewhat reluctantly.

As he came to just outside the open living room door he overheard a snippet of the conversation that was going on inside. To his horror all three people were discussing him openly and his feet refused to move any further towards the room.

"Poor Steve! It was such an awful thing to happen to any child!" he heard Mrs. Richards say.

"I wish I'd have been there with him. I should have insisted on driving him home that day. To think he held Harry's dead body for so long in the rain. You know he was soaked through to the skin by the time they found them." Mr Richards contributed.

Steve felt his heart begin to pound in his chest and his hands started to shake. He felt the plates of sandwiches shake in his hands and prayed that he wouldn't drop them. He waited, breathing heavier, for Mike to respond and he didn't have to wait long.

"I know it was a terrible thing to happen but Steve is dealing with it. I really don't think it would be a good idea to speak of it too much when he gets back. Best to leave it in the past where it belongs and let Steve deal with it in his own way. I really think that's for the best."

"Oh yes! Of course we understand. Why we wouldn't dream of upsetting him by dragging it up in front of him, now would be Joe? " the older woman flustered.

Steve knew he had to make his entrance soon before someone came looking for him so he willed his feet to move again and entered the room as normally as he could appear and placed the two plates down on the table beside the tray. As soon as he entered, an uncomfortable silence fell over the room and Steve went and sat down beside Mike and shot his partner a rather unnerving glance. Mike read it and knew he had overheard the previous conversation and Mike's return glance was visibly urging him to calm his emotions and to be strong. Mike was the first one to speak again as Mr. Richards busied himself pouring coffee and handing out cups and saucers and Mrs. Richards never took her eyes off Steve even for an instant.

"Well, I must say that you both have a very lovely home, Mrs. Richards." Mike said purposefully directing his question to the older woman in the hopes that she would remove her gaze from Steve and allow the young man some comfort in this awkward situation.

Luckily, Mike's question had the desired effect and she smiled warmly at Mike and answered him allowing Steve a barely audible sigh of relief that only Mike heard, sitting directly beside him.

"Why thank you ! How kind of you to say! Do you live in San Francisco also?"

"Yes, all my life. Have you ever visited there yourself?"

"A long time ago, we did. It's a very beautiful place. So tell me Steve, Joe says you never married. I find it hard to believe that a fine young man like yourself hasn't been snapped up by now. You must be playing hard to get!"

Steve had just taken a mouthful of coffee and almost spat it back out in shock at the sudden very personal question. Swallowing it down swiftly instead he flustered.

"No Ma'am. I guess being a police officer and working such long hours isn't really conducive to holding down a relationship. I guess I just haven't met the right person yet."

Mike looked sideways at Steve and saw the blushes threatening to cover his face and again attempted to change the focus away from his partner.

"Mr. Richards! You really seem to be quite the gardener. We couldn't help but notice how you've looked after Harry's allotment so well and your garden outside is exquisite."

"Well, thank you. Yes, I wanted to keep it well for Harry. Knowing how much it meant it him, it was the least I could do."

"Harry would be pleased!" Steve added, suddenly feeling all eyes again on him as his words had come out slightly heartfelt and emotional.

"Say is that a Hydrangea bush down beside the gate?" Mike asked quickly and looking down at his cup, Steve was grateful to Mike for all the times he had saved him from embarrassment in the last fifteen minutes.

"Why yes Mr. Stone. It is! I am impressed ! You must be a gardener yourself!" Mr. Richards answered.

"Oh no, not really. My wife was! She taught me a lot but I'm not near as good at it, as she was!"

"I'm sorry Mr. Stone. I couldn't help but hear that you said "was" when you referred to your wife. Am I to understand that she is no longer with us?" Mrs. Richards interrupted.

"Yes, you heard right Mrs. Richards! I'm afraid she passed away eight years ago now."

"Oh I'm terribly sorry for your loss! How very sad! Have you any children ?"

"Yes, I have one daughter. She's attending university in Arizona. She's studying architecture and social planning." Mike stated proudly.

"Oh how lovely! Our daughter is a journalist you know? She writes for a big newspaper in New York. You remember Marcy don't you Steve?"

Steve looked up again from his coffee.

"Yes Ma'am, of course I do. Marcy always did have a way with words!"

Steve smiled to himself at his own private joke. As a kid, Marcy was forever putting people down and treating others as though they were all beneath her. She always used fancy words to make people feel inferior.

"Yes Steve, you are right. She was always very well versed in the English language. We're both very proud of her. Aren't we Joe?"

Mr. Richards was the one who appeared uncomfortable now. He didn't seem to share his wife's enthusiasm for their daughter's chosen career and location but he smiled none the less.

"Yes dear!" was all he said and then he picked up the two plates of sandwiches and offered them around to his guests.

Mike took two and thanked Mr. Richards, while Steve reluctantly took just one. Mrs. Richards took two also and taking two himself, Mr. Richards sat back down and they all ate quietly for a few minutes. Mike only then realized how hungry he really was and ate his two sandwiches gladly but he noticed that Steve was merely nibbling politely at his and that he then placed the barely eaten sandwich back on the side of his saucer. Mike was slightly disappointed to see that Steve's appetite was still so poor. As Mrs. Richards finished her sandwiches she turned and addressed her husband.

"Joe, have you told young Steve about poor Greg yet?"

Steve looked at Mr. Richards and saw that Mr. Richards almost choked on his sandwich at her words. Swallowing hard he almost glared at his wife and while he answered her civilly, Steve sensed some underlying annoyance at her question.

"Linda, I'm not sure it's our place to spread gossip like that. We're not even one hundred percent sure that it's true!"

"Joe, I told you! I heard it from Mrs. Stewart who is close friends with a neighbour of the Kincaids! It's absolutely true and I think Steve should know about it! They used to be good friends!"

Mr. Richards this time didn't hide his annoyance at his wife's persistence and frowned at her. Steve sat up slightly straighter as he listened to the couple's animated conversation and at the name that Mrs. Richards mentioned, Mike noticed that the colour seemed to drain from Steve's face.

"Wait a minute! Are you guys talking about Greg ... Kincaid? What ... what happened to him?" Steve asked suddenly feeling very anxious.

Mr. Richards looked sympathetically at the young man across from him and felt he needed to explain, but Mrs. Richards piped in before he got the chance to break it to the young man gently.

"Oh Steve! It was so awful. After you left the school, Greg got into the wrong company. He started hanging around with the Baker brothers. You remember them don't you? No good hooligans! Anyway before his poor mother knew it, he was doing drugs and getting himself into all sorts of trouble!"

"LINDA! I really don't think this is the time to discuss this!" Mr. Richards interrupted, but his wife shot him a look that could kill.

"Now Joe! I'm sure that Steve wants to know what became of one of his old friends. Don't you Steve?"

Steve merely nodded but he didn't like how the story was going. Anything that ever involved the Baker brothers never came to any good. He swallowed hard trying to prepare himself for what he was about to hear.

"The poor boy overdosed. They found him in some cheap bed sit six months ago. He'd been dead for three days undiscovered, they reckoned. My heart goes out to his poor parents! It was really awful. I'm surprised you never heard. It was all over Modesto. Didn't your aunt tell you?"

Steve's heart almost skipped a beat. Poor Greg! Out of his small group of old friends, Greg would have been the most easily led. Davey was more sensible and level-headed and despised the Baker brothers as much as Steve had but Steve could see how without a more positive influence Greg could have ended up at their beck and call. He felt a mix of emotions suddenly flood his heart. Sadness that Greg had died such a horrible and lonely death, guilt that he had not been able to stop him and anger at his uncle for stopping him from seeing his old friends all those years ago. Perhaps if he had been allowed to stay in his old school, things would have turned out differently for everybody concerned. Steve came from his thoughts and saw all three people in the room looking at him with pity in their eyes. He realized then, that he had never answered Mrs. Richards' question. Clearing his throat he quickly spoke.

"Sorry ... no. Aunt Rose never really knew him so she wouldn't have realized even if she had heard. "

"Oh I'm sorry Steve! It must be an awful shock! I just figured you should know that's all. I hope you're not upset with me for telling you!" Mrs. Richards spoke mournfully.

"No, no of course not. Thanks ... for letting me know."

Steve couldn't stop thinking about poor Greg. He felt really sad and Mike could see the shock the news had given him written all over his face. In some ways Mike was cross with the older lady for upsetting Steve more than he already was and didn't feel that she was genuinely sorry at all for spreading her needless gossip! Mike also noted that Mr. Richards was still scowling at his wife obviously just as cross at her for mentioning the news in the first place. It was quite obvious to Mike that he had no intention of even bringing it up! Just as Mike had decided that it was time to get Steve out of this house before Mrs. Richards decided to share some other bad news, she beat him to it and spoke again.

"Steve, did your aunt and uncle treat you well after Harry passed?"

Steve again almost dropped his cup at the new interrogation. Still not fully over the news of his friend's death he merely stammered a response.

"Yes ... of course they did. Why do you ask that?"

"LINDA! For heavens sake!" Mr. Richards interrupted again but the look his wife gave him stopped him at a glance and he looked away from Steve and Mike, as if he didn't want any part of the next conversation that he knew she was going to bring up. Mike caught the move and worried about what she was up to now, not really sure that Steve was up to much more bad news or intense questioning.

"Now Joe. I'm just asking the boy! You see, a neighbour of your aunts is in the same knitting club as a friend of my neighbours and she told me that your Uncle Henry was a very hard man to live with! The story was, well ...it is rather delicate ... but the rumour was that he hit his kids. Was that true Steve? I hope he was never violent with you! Only the same lady also said that one time after you went to live with them that she saw you with your arm in a sling and a nasty cut on your head! Why Harry would turn in his grave if he knew that man had hurt you in any way! "

"LINDA! THAT'S ENOUGH! " Mr. Richards yelled at his wife and then turning to Steve he apologized profusely.

"Steve, you don't have to answer that question. I'm very sorry! My wife should never have brought that up." and as he mentioned his wife he glared in her direction and this time it was her who looked away, ashamed of herself.

Steve took a deep breath and placed his cup back on the coffee table for fear he would drop it or for fear that the cup would rattle on the saucer and give away the fact that his hands were now shaking slightly at the turn of the conversation. Then clearing his throat he spoke.

"It's alright ... you have nothing to be sorry for! I guess I've been away from Modesto so long now that I forgot how strong the gossip trail is. My Uncle Henry was a hard man to deal with ... but the rumours are very exaggerated. He didn't beat his kids and the time your "friend" saw me I was after having an accident. So I'm sorry to disappoint your friend but that's all there was to it!"

The room fell silent for a few minutes. Mrs. Richards looked suitably embarrassed and Mr. Richards even more so. Mike was studying Steve closely trying to figure out if he was telling Mrs. Richards the truth or if in true Steve style he was covering up his Uncle's behaviour to dispel the gossip and to protect his Aunt Rose and her family. For the first time in as long as he had known Steve, this time he couldn't read which one it was and he had to admit that it worried him!

Desperate to distract everyone from the awkwardness in the room, and needing to discuss something important with Steve, Mr. Richards turned to look at Steve.

"Steve, could you please help me clear the tray and these plates back out to the kitchen please?"

Steve could feel Mike's eyes studying him closely and knew exactly what he was thinking. This is what he had dreaded. The one conversation that he knew would rear its ugly head and knowing what a gossip Mrs. Richards could be, he knew he wouldn't escape without some form of question about his Uncle's temperament. Now that it had been brought up he knew Mike would question him further about it later and he began to feel sick to his stomach again. Now hearing Mr. Richards' question Steve was only too glad of the opportunity to leave the room and Mike's probing eyes.

"Sure ...no problem!" Steve said standing up quickly and gathering all the cups on the tray and leaving the room with a speed and a purpose that made Mike worry even more. Mr. Richards followed behind him with the two sandwich plates that were now a lot lighter. As the two men entered the kitchen Steve put his tray down on the countertop and Mr. Richards spoke urgently.

"Steve! I really can't apologize enough for my wife. She had no right to tell you about Greg and she had no right to ask you those questions! She doesn't get out much now with her bad knees and those so called friends of hers just keep feeding her gossip ... I never would have asked you back if I thought for one minute she was going to ..."

Steve felt sorry for the older man who looked mortified and he genuinely believed him. Placing a hand on the other man's arm Steve reassured him.

"That's alright Mr. Richards. I understand. It's ok."

Mr. Richards was grateful for the young man's understanding. He smiled at Steve and took the opportunity to bring up what he felt he needed to.

"Thanks for that! ... Listen Steve ... there's something I need to ask you about. I'm afraid it might be difficult for you but I've waited almost fifteen years now to ask you! "

Steve stood back slightly, almost worried what was coming next but he trusted the other man and so he took a deep breath and answered.

"Ok ... ask away Mr. Richards."

"You know, you should really call me Joe now. You're a grown man. I don't mind."

"Ok ... Joe ... what is it?"

"There were things left in Harry's house after the sale. Many personal things ... just left. I rang the realtor and I was told whatever was left in the house was now mine ...That the person organizing the sale didn't want them. But ... I never felt happy keeping them or throwing them away. I finally convinced Mr. Newton to give me your Aunt's phone number and I rang her to tell her about all the very personal items that were left behind but ... your Uncle answered the phone instead ..."

Steve felt the lump return to his throat when he heard that Henry had answered the phone. He didn't interrupt Mr. Richards story however and waited somewhat anxiously to near what came from his phone call.

"He ... he told me to bin all of it! He said I could have a bonfire with them if I wanted to and he ... hung up on me! But Steve I couldn't! Some of it is very personal ... to you. I didn't know what else to do so I've held onto it all these years in a box in the garage. My wife doesn't even know it's there! I'd appreciate it ... if you're up to it that is ... if you'd take a look at it and let me know if you'd like to take it with you or not ... I always hoped you'd come back some day and I could show it to you and well here you are!"

"How much stuff are we talking about?"

"There's one cardboard box full and then there's the larger stuff that you saw still in the house. Harry's ... rocking chair being one of them."

Steve thought for a moment as he tried to pull his emotions back into some form of normality. He was extremely moved that Mr. Richards had kept the stuff all this time waiting for him to show up and more importantly he was very grateful to the other man for not doing as Henry suggested and burning it all. However he didn't know what the box held and he worried about how he would handle seeing what was in it. But he couldn't possibly refuse to look at it after all Mr. Richards had done so after a minutes silence, Steve decided what he would do and he spoke again.

"I think that Harry would have wanted you to have the rocking chair Joe for looking after his allotment all this time. I don't really have any need for a child's homework desk or a bookcase but I'd appreciate it if you'd find them a good home. As to the box, of course I'll take it with me and I appreciate you keeping it for me all this time but I'll look through it when I get back to San Francisco if that's ok?"

Mr. Richards nodded his understanding, appreciating that Steve had contended with enough for one day between the visit to Harry's house, the planting of the memorial flower, the news of his friend's death and the awkward and very personal questions that his wife had rudely asked. He understood perfectly that the young man couldn't face, viewing whatever personal possessions were in the box and he was just grateful that he could finally return Steve's personal items to him.

"Sure that's fine Steve! I'll just go fetch it and I'll get you Davey Capshaw's address while I'm at it. I won't be a minute."

Steve watched as Mr. Richards exited through a different door than they had come into the kitchen from and assumed that he was heading for the garage to retrieve the box. He waited nervously for him to return, all the while knowing that Mike would be wondering about what was keeping him. He stood quietly and hoped that Mr Richards wouldn't be too long.


	16. Chapter 16

**Going Home**

**A/N: Thank you to all those who continue to follow,read and review this story. Your kind reviews are much appreciated. Again RL has been hectic so I haven't had much time for writing but finally I have the next chapter ready. I hope you enjoy it.  
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Chapter 16

Steve waited somewhat nervously for Mr. Richards to return with the box. To Steve it felt like he was gone for ages but realistically it was probably only a matter of minutes. Steve began to pace up and down the kitchen impatiently. He wasn't feeling very well all of a sudden and he wasn't really sure why. He had an ache in his stomach and he felt very claustrophobic. He opened the top button of his shirt and was suddenly glad that he wasn't wearing a tie. He pulled at the collar of his shirt in a vain attempt to feel more at ease. He began to wonder what could possibly be in the box that Mr. Richards had kept all this time. He tried to think of things that had been in Harry's place that he never saw again when he moved into Henry and Rose's house but his brain refused to cooperate.

His brain suddenly felt like it was overcrowded. He had too many things running through his head. He thought of poor Greg and it made him feel depressed again. He had let him down! Some friend he had turned out to be! In his job as a homicide detective he had seen enough deaths by drug overdose and it was always highly unpleasant. He had broken the news to more families than he cared to remember. So many senseless deaths, so many broken-hearted families. Now Greg was another one of those statistics. Another life wasted. He began to feel sick at the thoughts of the state Greg's body would have been in after lying for three days undiscovered. He had witnessed too many dead bodies like that before. Way too many! He remembered the awful stench that a decaying body produced and he could feel himself breaking out in a cold sweat. His stomach churned and the nausea got stronger even though he hadn't even eaten that much. He felt himself getting upset, as the news of what had happened to Greg finally sunk in.

He knew he had to stop thinking about it for now in order to pull himself together before Mr. Richard's returned but it was easier said than done. Lenny's words suddenly came back to him and he knew he had to breathe nice and slowly and prevent another anxiety attack from taking hold but he really felt awfully sick. He looked up and saw the back door and racing to it he opened it and breathed in lungfuls of fresh afternoon air. The fresh air seemed to help and he managed to get the nausea back under control. He closed the door again and had just turned around when the garage door opened and Mr. Richards appeared carrying a medium-sized cardboard box. He was busy watching where he was walking while carrying the box and so thankfully hadn't yet noticed Steve's new-found discomfort.

"Sorry for being so long Steve! I had to remember exactly where I had put it all those years ago and when I did find it, it was very dusty so I had to clean it off." he explained.

Mr. Richards placed the box on the kitchen table and turned towards Steve. Something about the young man seemed slightly off and again he felt guilty that perhaps his wife's lack of tact had been to blame for the change in Steve's demeanor.

"Are you ok Steve? I guess the news of Greg's death must have come as quite a shock to you. I'm really sorry you had to hear about it that way. Actually being honest, I never intended even telling you! I was hoping that Davey might break it to you better when you went to see him. But ... I should have known that Linda wouldn't be able to contain herself ..."

Mr. Richards trailed off still rather embarrassed and annoyed with how their first meeting with Steve had gone after such a long time. He shuffled uncomfortably where he stood and didn't catch Steve's eye. Steve once more felt sorry for the older man. He had picked up earlier, Mr. Richards disappointment at the fact that Marcy had picked up and fled to the furthest part of the States from them and he now realized how difficult it must be for him to be Mrs. Richards' sole carer and to have to put up with the endless hoard of gossiping friends that she hung around with. Forcing a smile on his face, for the sake of Mr. Richards he spoke sympathetically.

"That's ok Mr. Richards ... sorry Joe. Really! I understand. And I really appreciate you holding onto this stuff for me for so long. Could I get Davey's address off you aswell please?"

Mr. Richards smiled warmly and walked towards Steve, causing the young man to look away embarrassed and worried that a close up view of his face might give away too much unwanted information. He placed a hand on Steve's shoulder and squeezed it gratefully.

"You know Steve, you were always a good kid! Harry would have been real proud of how you turned out! You're still the same thoughtful and considerate person you were fifteen years ago. Do me a favour, huh? Don't ever let the world change you."

Steve turned his head to look at Mr. Richards and saw a sadness in the older man's eyes. He felt his out of control emotions threaten to betray him again so he forced another weak smile and merely nodded at him, afraid that his voice would betray him too.

Then with one final pat on Steve's back Mr. Richards added. "That address is just out in the hall beside the phone. I'll just go write it down for you. I'll be right back!"

Again Steve merely nodded his thanks and watched shakily as the other man quietly and sombrely left the kitchen again. As soon as the kitchen door to the hall closed Steve dashed for the kitchen sink, suddenly feeling warm and stuffy and turning on the cold tap he quickly splashed cold water up on his face, grateful for the respite the cool water allowed him. He had just managed to quickly dry his face with the kitchen towel and resume his former position when he heard footsteps returning.

Meanwhile back in the Living room, there had been a very awkward silence in the room for several minutes after Mr. Richards and Steve had left with the tray of leftovers and used cups. Occasionally, Mike and Mrs. Richards' eyes had met briefly and they had smiled politely but the air was tense and Mike hoped that the others would return quickly. There was something about the lady in front of him that he disapproved of. While he did feel sorry for her obvious disability, he really couldn't stand people who gossiped! Over the years both on and off the job he had met his fair share of them and they had never been able to convince him that it was in anybody's best interest. He thought about how lucky he was that Helen had despised gossiping too and had never been one to talk over garden fences or to stick her nose where it wasn't needed or wanted. Looking at Mrs. Richards now, his gut instinct told him the same couldn't be said for the lady sitting opposite him.

Eventually the awkward silence became too much for both of them to bear any longer and they both spoke at the same time.

"Mr. Stone!"

"Mrs. Richards!"

They both blushed and chuckled at their similar timing but Mike, ever the gentleman entreated the older lady to speak first.

"I'm sorry ... please go ahead."

"Thank you. I was merely going to say that, well, I know you probably think I'm awful for raising that subject about his Uncle with Steve but my intention was never to upset him Mr. Stone. I've heard some really awful things about where he went to live and it has always bothered me. Steve had a tragic childhood but he was so settled with Harry ! I remember the first time he introduced him to us. He was only there about a day and I remember how he looked so small and fragile and he had such a deep sadness in his eyes. It was almost unnatural for such a sweet little five-year old boy!"

Mrs. Richards was staring past Mike as she spoke almost as if she could see Steve all those years ago again in her mind's eye. She painted such a vivid picture with her words and remembering the old photos that Steve had in his memory box, Mike could almost see the scene unfold himself. She continued.

"We watched him blossom with Harry. He became outgoing again and happy. He loved his Grandfather so much. It was almost written on his face every time you saw them together. They were good for each other and they looked after each other. It all ended so tragically. Their happiness was so short-lived. That Aunt of his whisked him off without even a chance to say goodbye. They took him from his school and away from his friends and everything he was familiar with. When I heard the rumours and I'm not naïve Mr. Stone, I realize that without firm proof that's all they were, it broke my heart. To think of what he might have been subjected to ..."

Mrs. Richards broke down and began to sob quietly. Mike was taken aback by her outburst and reached into his pocket for his handkerchief, in order to offer it to her. However finding it empty he then remembered how he had given it to Steve earlier. Looking around he saw a box of tissues on the sideboard and getting up quickly, he retrieved two and hurried back to Mrs. Richards. Handing her the tissues he stood beside her and spoke comfortingly.

"There, there now. I understand. I know you had Steve's best interests at heart but you must remember Mrs. Richards one important thing! Steve is no longer a fragile five-year old. He's a grown man now and he needs to deal with his own problems just like the rest of us in his own way. Now we can be there for him and help him but we can't force him to talk to us. And if I've learned anything from all my years on the force is that you can't just assume things are going on without substantial proof. Looks can be deceiving. Now whatever your friend heard isn't a reliable form of proof that anything bad happened to Steve in that house!"

"Oh, but Mr Stone! The information came from their neighbour! She heard that man shouting all the time and she said the kids always looked so scared. That man wasn't fit to raise children! And she specifically remembered Steve with his arm in a sling, all banged up within the months after he went to live there! What else could explain it?"

Mike was trying to stay calm and logical but he had to admit the evidence did appear to be damning if indeed the information received was accurate and reliable. But Steve had denied it. And gossip as he had just confirmed was never to be relied upon. No! Despite his personal uncertainty as to whether Steve was being truthful or not and the fact that his gut instinct was ringing alarm bells at him, he kept reassuring the older lady and managed to stop her tears from flowing freely.

"Now, now, Mrs. Richards. There could be a dozen reasons why children get themselves banged up. They fall off their bikes or their skateboards or get injured playing sport. Now if Steve said there was nothing sinister about how he got hurt then that's probably all it was. Now it's probably for the best that we leave it at that. Don't you think?"

Mike smiled warmly at Mrs. Richards and hoped that he had laid out a convincing enough argument as to why she should leave the subject alone for now, but inwardly he had decided that he would broach the subject at a later time with Steve.

"Yes, you're absolutely right Mr. Stone. I guess it could have happened like that. And anyway, Steve has his new life now, away from that awful man. That's all that matters isn't it? I just hope he's not mad at me for ... well suggesting what I did ..."

Mrs. Richards looked down at her lap sadly and Mike reassured her once more.

"I'm sure he won't be Mrs. Richards. Steve isn't one to hold grudges. You'll see. Say, aren't they taking an awfully long time?"

Mrs. Richards looked up anxiously and grabbed Mike's sleeve.

"Oh my! You don't think I've upset him badly do you?"

Mike began to fear that maybe she had, especially remembering the speed with which he had left the room earlier but again he didn't want to cause the older lady to feel any worse than she already seemed to, so he dismissed the idea for her sake.

"No, no I wouldn't imagine so. They're probably just catching up on old times. But maybe I better go see what's keeping them. Huh? Just in case!"

"Yes, yes of course. The kitchen is just down at the end of the hall, on your right!"

Mike nodded his thanks and assured her that he would be right back and quickly exited the Living room , now in full worry mode. As he entered the hall he saw Mr. Richards writing something down on the hall table and his worry increased.

"Mr. Richards, where's Steve?"

"Oh, he's just down in the kitchen. I promised I'd write down his friend's number for him. You can go on in to him if you like."

Mr. Richards smiled at Mike but could tell that he was worried about something. Before Mike moved he questioned Mr. Richards further.

"Is ... is he ok? I thought he might be a bit upset ... you know hearing about his other friend?"

"I think he's ok. He did seem a little off but I guess that's to be expected under the circumstances. As I just told Steve, I really am sorry that my wife wasn't more tactful. She doesn't mean any harm Mr. Stone."

"Yes I know that. We just had a chat about it. Your wife was a bit upset too but I think she's alright now. Maybe you should check on her though and I'll go check on Steve."

Mr. Richards nodded gratefully at Mike and with that, Mike headed down the hallway and entered the kitchen. As he entered, Steve turned towards the door and starting speaking.

"Well that was quick! ... Oh Mike! It's you! I thought you were Mr. Richards! He was just getting me a phone number."

"Yes, he's writing it down as we speak ... I just came to see if you were ok."

Steve could see that Mike was studying him trying to read how he was feeling and he felt his emotions begin to waver. He knew Mike was probably trying to process what Mrs. Richards had asked him about his Uncle and he knew that it was only a matter of time before Mike would ask him more awkward questions that he didn't want to answer. His head was starting to throb and his stomach was still churning and he knew the only thing he needed to do was to get out of there fast before he couldn't control his growing nausea any longer so he decided to be honest with Mike and reveal his discomfort but before he had a chance to speak, the door opened again and Mr. Richards walked in and headed for Steve.

"There you go. That's Davey's address Steve."

"Oh ... thanks."

He smiled at Mr. Richards and put the number into his inside jacket pocket and then another awkward silence filled the room so Steve decided their code word was necessary.

"Say Mike. Don't you have to ring Jeannie about now?"

Mike looked momentarily confused, the revelations and conversations of the last hour and a half temporarily distracting him.

"What?" he asked.

"You know ... JEANNIE! Weren't you supposed to call her about now?"

Steve looked anxiously at Mike, starting to fear that Mike had forgotten their earlier agreement but thankfully for Steve at the second clear and concise mention of his daughter's name, Mike remembered the code word and flew into action.

"Oh of course! You're absolutely right! Thanks for reminding me." then turning to Mr. Richards he continued. "I'm terribly sorry Mr. Richards but we really need to be going now. I have to ring my daughter and we have dinner plans for this evening at a friend of mine's house but thank you so much for the hospitality and the lunch. You have been very kind."

"You're very welcome . Of course I understand. I appreciate you both taking the time to come over. I'll walk you out."

Mr. Richards turned and exited the kitchen into the hall. Mike looked at Steve slightly alarmed that he had needed to use the code word and also anxious about his appearance. He looked deathly pale and Mike had felt that he was about to tell him something before Mr. Richards had returned. Steve picked up the box which thankfully wasn't very heavy and headed for the door. Mike stopped his progress as he neared the doorway.

"Steve! What's in the box?"

"I don't know exactly. Mr. Richards said it was full of stuff that was left in Harry's house after the sale. He thought that I should have it ... that it was mostly mine ..." Then he lowered his voice to a whisper and added " Mike can we please just go? I'm ... not feeling very well."

Mike nodded even more worried now that Steve had admitted to feeling bad and stood aside to allow the young man to enter the hall. As they did, Mike took the box from Steve."Here, let me take that! I'll put it out in the car while you say your goodbyes ... Ok?"

Steve looked gratefully at Mike and knew there was a double meaning to his "Ok?" He nodded and headed into the living room. He approached Mrs. Richards where she still sat in her fireside chair.

"Mrs. Richards. I'm afraid we have to go now but it was good seeing you again. You take care of yourself ."

Mrs. Richards took Steve's hands in hers and smiled at the young man in front of her.

"It was great to see you too! I'm sorry if I ... caused you to leave. I should learn to hold my tongue. Joe always says so. I hope you're not cross with me ..."

Mrs. Richards looked sad and Steve felt sorry for her. He crouched down in front of her so he was at her eye level despite the nagging pain in his stomach and despite the nausea that was torturing him he masked his face with a smile and spoke softly.

"Mrs. Richards. How could I ever be cross with you? Especially after ten years of you keeping me a piece of your delicious apple pie for an after school snack! Huh?"

Mrs. Richards smiled back gratefully, tears glistening in her eyes. She placed a hand on his cheek affectionately.

"You take care of yourself Steve. It's a big bad world out there!"

"I will ... I promise!" Steve said and he stood back up gingerly and placed a kiss on the old lady's cheek. " Goodbye."

Steve then left the living room and returned to the hall just as Mike had come back in from outside.

"I'll just go and say goodbye to your wife." Mike stated going into the living room and when he came back out both men said their goodbyes to Mr. Richards and thanked him again for all his hospitality and kindness.

"Hey Steve, don't leave it so long next time before you visit us huh? You're always welcome you know!" Mr. Richards said as he shook Steve's hand warmly.

Steve reached into his jacket and gave Mr. Richards one of his work cards with his contact details on it.

"If you ever need to reach me you can get me on those numbers."

Mr. Richards took the card and patted Steve on the shoulder.

"Ok, thanks. Take care of yourself now!"

"You too!"

Steve and Mike walked down to the car and Steve felt a feeling of relief wash over him as he reached it. He was feeling extremely sick and didn't feel that he could have kept up his act for much longer! Mike held out his hand for the keys, not feeling that Steve was quite up to driving and Steve handed him the car keys not really surprised that Mike had offered to drive in the first place. His stomach was somersaulting and he felt lousy. He sunk into the passenger seat while Mike got in the driver's side and with one final wave back at the man still standing on the porch they pulled out and drove down to the gate and turned out onto the roadway. While he drove Mike glanced over at Steve anxious about his pallor and his earlier admission.

"Are you still feeling bad?" Mike asked concerned by how quiet he was since getting into the car.

Steve had his eyes closed and the window rolled down and was breathing purposefully, desperately trying to keep the nausea under control but feeling like he was failing miserably. The afternoon had taken its toll. The upset at Harry's house, the news of Greg's untimely death and the probing questions he had endured. He didn't feel up to answering but he knew if he didn't Mike would panic so he forced a few words out.

"I just ... feel a bit sick ... I'll be ok."

Mike felt that Steve was as usual, playing down how bad he was feeling but he didn't want to push him as he sensed that Steve had struggled to answer him. Instead he divided his attention between driving and watching Steve closely. However only another few yards down the roadway, Steve knew he was in trouble. As the bile rose in his throat and a cold sweat broke out on his forehead he half yelled at Mike before covering his mouth.

"MIKE ! PULL OVER!"

The yell alarmed Mike and he pulled over and braked hard. Steve immediately jumped out of the car and raced for the side of the road and proceeded to violently throw up. Mike followed him, hot on his heels and reaching him he steadied the young man who was heaving painfully by placing an arm around his shoulders. He placed his other hand on the young man's forehead, a trick he used to find, had helped Jeannie when she had been sick as a child. Thankfully the awful heaving stopped as quickly as it had begun, mainly because Steve hadn't really eaten much. Mike felt the young man almost slump afterwards from the exertion it had taken on him and used both hands to practically hold him up. Steve was suddenly grateful that it was a quiet country roadway and that there was no other traffic to witness his moment of weakness. Mike could feel the young man shaking and his hands felt cold to the touch so he spoke urgently

"Come on! Let's get you back into the car! You feel very shaky and you're freezing cold!"

Mike put one of Steve's arms around his shoulders and helped him back to the car and sat him into the passenger seat. Then he crouched down beside him, worried by the fact that he wasn't speaking!

"Steve! I think maybe we should bring you to see a Doctor! This sickness is going on too long now! Maybe Dr. Armstrong had a right to be concerned. You're still not eating much, you still aren't keeping food down and you're still not sleeping great without the pills just like he said. I think we should pack up and go home and get you back to see him!"

This statement caused an instant panicked reaction from Steve.

"NO! ... We don't need to do that! ... I'll be alright Mike. I probably just worked myself up after hearing about Greg. That's all! It's my fault! Stop worrying! I just need a minute ... and I'll feel better ..."

"Steve! I don't think ..."

"Mike please! Just give me a minute ok!" Steve pleaded, closing his eyes again and holding his stomach which was suddenly almost sore to the touch.

Mike's infamous gut instinct was screaming at him that something was desperately wrong but he could see that Steve was in no state to discuss the issue rationally so he decided to give the young man some time as he had requested and closing the passenger door he got up and hurried around to the driver side and got in. Looking once more over at his partner he then put the key in the ignition and started up the car and drove off again. They had driven almost back into the heart of Modesto when Steve finally sat up a little straighter and spoke again.

"I ... feel better now Mike. I want to call and see Davey Capshaw ... "

"No! Absolutely not. If you won't go and see a doctor then we're going to head back to the campsite and you're going to rest for the remainder of the afternoon."

"But Mike! ..."

"Ah, ah! No arguments! You're going to rest! And I'll judge then if you're up to going to the Palmers this evening! You can go and see your friend tomorrow." Mike said firmly.

Steve knew Mike's determined voice when he heard it and decided not to argue. Besides he was afraid that if he argued too much Mike would insist on them heading back to San Francisco and Steve could envisage another annoying hospital stay with Dr. Armstrong and Scary Mary force feeding him lumpy porridge again! So he stayed quiet. He rested his head against the back of the seat and rubbed his aching stomach and began to wonder if maybe Mike had a point. All the other times he had felt sick he hadn't had the pain in his stomach and he had managed to breathe through the nausea successfully. This time he definitely felt much worse than before but he knew how much Mike was looking forward to catching up with the Palmers this evening so he was determined not to be the cause of him having to cancel his plans. So he closed his eyes and prayed that whatever had caused this new sickness would ease up and not ruin the rest of their weekend.

It didn't take long for Mike to find his way back to the campsite and actually he felt quite proud of himself as he felt that he was starting to get to know his way around Modesto over the short time they had been there. When they parked, Mike raced around to Steve's side to help the young man if needed but Steve was determined not to be a nuisance so he brushed off Mike's help.

"I'm ok now Mike. I can walk myself ... really" and he got out gingerly and started heading towards the camp.

Mike watched after him and knew that he was putting on his usual brave front. He could tell he wasn't as good as he was letting on by the slight unsteadiness in his walk and the fact that he was holding his midsection as he went. Mike frowned at Steve's stubbornness and for a moment considered calling Dr. Armstrong himself. But he knew Steve would be cross with him if he did. Then he suddenly remembered that Gerry's wife Betty was a registered nurse! He'd almost forgotten! He suddenly decided on a new plan of action! If Steve refused to see a Doctor then maybe he could get Betty to check him over instead later and between the two of them they might be able to talk some sense into the boy. At least feeling a little easier now he followed Steve down the trail and checking his watch he saw that he had three hours to keep an eye on Steve until they headed for the Palmers.

When he got to the camp Steve was sitting on one of the stumps with his hands in his pockets looking miserable. Mike thought he looked like death warmed up! He was going to tell him to go and lie down in the tent but seeing how cold he appeared to be, he decided that the young man would rest better if he lit the fire and got Steve to lie down in his sleeping bag beside it. At least then he could keep a better eye on him too. While Steve sat shivering, Mike retrieved Steve's sleeping bag from the tent and bringing it over to where Steve sat he instructed the young man to get into it while he lit the fire.

"Th ...a ...nks!" Steve chattered and laying it on the ground he climbed into it and snuggled right down until the fabric was almost half way up his face. Then addressing Mike , his words came out muffled.

"Aren't you c...c...cold Mike?"

Mike started to become alarmed. He wasn't feeling cold at all and his older bones normally felt the cold, way before Steve's did, especially back in San Francisco when they often worked the night shift or were on endless night-time stakeouts. Steve was normally the one who would chuckle as Mike sat in their car with many layers of clothes on, his trench coat tightened around his neck rubbing his hands and complaining about the cold. Mike would always wonder how Steve could still manage to stay warm in his flimsy shirt, sports jacket and light trench coat with hardly any meat on his bones for insulation.

Leaving his task of lighting the fire momentarily, Mike raced over to Steve and placed a hand on his forehead and frowned as he felt the intense heat that was emanating from the young man. He felt panic clutch at his heart as he realized how sick Steve really was.

"STEVE! YOU'RE BURNING UP! We have to get you some help!"

But Steve wasn't responding well. He was shaking violently and groaning subconsciously and barely heard what Mike had even said. Mike raced for his backpack and quickly pulled out the walkie-talkie that Gerry had given him. Pushing the button on the side he couldn't contain the panic in his voice.

"GERRY! IT'S MIKE! Can you read me? Over! Gerry! Please answer! I have an emergency situation. Can you read me? Over! GERRY!"


	17. Chapter 17

**Going Home**

**A/N : Thank you to all those who read and reviewed my last chapter. And a special word of praise to the reviewers briroch and mchicken who guessed correctly what I had in mind for our poor hero! I wanted to assure you all that there is a method in my madness as some things can be revealed under the influence of a fever that might not be relayed under normal circumstances. You will see what I mean towards the end of this chapter! **

**Apologies for the cliffhanger on my last chapter but that is why I have made a special effort to update quickly so as not to leave you all hanging too long! Apologies again that it is quite a long chapter but my muse refused to be silenced! I really hope you enjoy my latest offering!  
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Chapter 17

Mike released the button on the walkie-talkie and just heard static on the other end. He looked over at Steve once more and saw the young man still violently trembling. He rubbed a hand over his face and began to regret taking Steve out of San Francisco General in the first place. Now they were here in the middle of a Forest Park, nowhere near a payphone, with Steve extremely sick. Mike didn't even know where the nearest Hospital was in Modesto. He couldn't leave Steve here by himself in order to get help and in Steve's current state, Mike wasn't even sure if he would be able to get him to the car by himself. He felt panic rise in his chest and for the first time in a very long time Mike felt helpless and unsure what to do. He once more closed his eyes and prayed for someone to help him and as if in answer to his prayers the walkie-talkie came to life.

"MIKE! This is Gerry! What is your situation? Over!"

Mike breathed a giant sigh of relief and pressed the button urgently.

"Oh thank God Gerry! I need your help. Steve is very sick! I don't know what to do! ..."

Gerry could hear the blind panic and the deep concern in his old friend's voice and his Park Ranger training in emergencies kicked in. He needed to calm Mike down so he spoke firmly and calmly.

"Mike, where are you both now? "

"We're back at the campsite. Gerry, he's burning up !"

"Ok listen Mike. I'm only about ten minutes away from you! Stay with him and I'll be with you shortly. Don't worry. Everything will be ok. I'm coming to help you. "

"Ok, thanks Gerry. Please Hurry!"

Mike put down the walkie-talkie and raced back to his partner. Steve was cocooned in the sleeping bag desperately trying to get warm. His teeth were chattering and he was groaning as if he was in pain of some kind. Mike had to unzip the sleeping bag slightly to get a good look at the young man and when he did he didn't like what he saw. He shook Steve very gently to rouse him from his feverish state and spoke as calmly as his shaking voice would allow.

"STEVE ! Can you hear me? Are you in pain?"

Steve blinked slowly as if trying to focus on his partner's face. Then he spoke through chattering teeth.

"My stomachs sore ... and I'm so c..c..cold Mike."

"Alright now, take it easy. You're burning up buddy boy! That's why you're so cold! Gerry's on the way! He'll be here soon. We'll get you some help then! Steve how long have you been feeling this bad? I hope you haven't been feeling like this all day without telling me!"

"No ...Mike! Only ... since the Richards' house. Before ... we left ..."

"Ok, don't talk anymore now. Save your strength. "

Mike fetched some water and tried to get Steve to drink some but he refused it.

"No ... Mike. Can't face it ... Still feel ... sick."

"Steve ! You have to stay hydrated. Please huh? Just a few sips. Come on. For me huh?"

Steve heard the worry in Mike's voice and felt bad that he was causing such trouble and concern for the older man. So despite the fact that he didn't feel he would be able to keep any liquids down for long he gave in and took some small sips of the water Mike was holding up to his lips. He had a hard time even making his throat swallow the few mouthfuls of water he took in and after about three swallows, he turned his head away unable to stomach anymore. Mike knew he had at least made a huge effort to do what Mike had asked and so didn't push the water any further for now. Instead he spoke comfortingly.

"Ok, that's alright. You did good buddy boy. Now lie back and rest. Help is on the way!"

Even as the words left Mike's mouth, Mike heard someone approaching down the trail and looked up to see Gerry sprinting towards him. Mike felt relief wash over him and he felt himself calm down a little knowing that Gerry was here to help. Gerry would know what to do and knew the area like the back of his hand. He knew they were now in the best of hands and admired how quickly Gerry had reached them. He reckoned Gerry must have broken a few speed limits and pushed his fitness level to the limit to reach them so quick and he made a mental note that he owed him a huge favour for this.

"Thank God! Gerry! Thanks for getting here so quickly!"

"Mike! How is he?" Gerry asked, reaching them and kneeling down beside Mike and Steve.

"He's not good Gerry! His fever is pretty high and he's complaining of stomach pains and nausea."

Gerry placed a hand on Steve's forehead and looked up at Mike with worry written all over his face.

"Dear God Mike! You weren't kidding! He's hotter than hell! How long has he been like this?"

"Well, he's been feeling sick on and off since he got out of the hospital yesterday morning and he hasn't been eating very well but he got worse very suddenly over the last hour. He was physically sick and he seemed very cold but I only noticed the fever when we got back to the camp. What do you think? Should we get an ambulance Gerry?"

"Well the nearest hospital is the Memorial Medical Centre but it's Sunday Mike! The ER there is always busy and God knows how long before he'll be seen!"

Gerry stopped talking and seemed to be weighing up what the best thing to do was and Mike sat watching and waiting for his alternative suggestion. While they were occupied Steve suddenly reached out and grabbed Mike's sleeve and stammered.

"M..Mike. Not the H...hospital! P..please!"

Mike saw the distress on Steve's face and knew how much he hated hospitals. Gerry looked curiously at Mike and Mike felt the need to explain. Patting Steve's hand reassuringly he looked at Gerry first.

"He hates hospitals! He also hates needles almost as much as they disagree with him. It's a long story!"

Then turning to Steve he spoke calmly and soothingly.

"Steve! You're very sick. We need to find out what's causing it! I know you don't want to end up in hospital again but I don't think we have any alternative. Don't worry now! The main thing is we need to get you seen by a doctor!"

Steve protested strongly again, the mere act of talking using what little energy he had left.

"M..Mike. No! ... Please!"

"Steve, don't make this any harder than it already is!" Mike chastised the young man softly, feeling even more helpless and frustrated with their situation but before he had a chance to say any more Gerry suddenly interjected.

"WAIT MIKE! There just might be an alternative! "

Mike whipped his head up to stare at Gerry, glad of any suggestion that would cause less angst to his partner than a trip to the ER.

"We'll take him to my house! Betty can check him over and see if he needs to be seen at the hospital. She works at the local health clinic. If she deems he's not an emergency I'm sure she can get one of the Doctors she works with to make a house call!"

Mike smiled gratefully at Gerry and wondered how he would ever be able to repay him for such kindness, seeing how the suggestion had eased Steve's worry visibly. Mike remembered that Betty was an excellent nurse and had every faith in her to do right by Steve. He patted Gerry's shoulder, words of gratitude so etched on his face that he knew by Gerry's return smile that words were not necessary to convey his true feelings and that Gerry had fully understood his gesture. Gerry directed his next question to Steve.

"What do you say kid? It's better than your other option!"

Steve listened and appreciated Gerry's offer but also felt slightly embarrassed that his first introduction to Gerry's wife would be as a shivering, nauseated mess! And he still wasn't sure how he was even going to be able to make it back to the car. He hated this whole situation and cursed the fact that his body was betraying him like this but Gerry was right. He would agree to anything right now to avoid being prodded and poked at by ER staff so he nodded gratefully and stammered again.

"Ok ... You're sure she ... won't mind?"

"No, not at all! Ok then let's get you on your feet and down to my car. Do you think you can make it that far with our help?"

A racking bout of shivers tore through the young man on the ground and his stomach lurched again at the thoughts of having to put one foot in front of the other but he knew that he had little choice. He swallowed hard and forced himself to answer through the shudders that were mercilessly assaulting him and refusing to let him rest.

"Not sure ... but ... I'll try!"

"Good man! That's all we ask." Gerry announced as he quickly unzipped the sleeping bag fully and reaching down he placed both hands around Steve's waist.

Mike had gone behind him and placed his hands under Steve's arms and between the two men they hauled the light form of the young man easily to his feet. However when they had him upright he swayed visibly so without further instruction both men took an arm each and draped them over their shoulders. With their other hands around his waist they managed to keep him upright. Gerry checked that the campfire was fully out and they then started to make their way down towards the trail. Steve was trying to help as best he could and moved his feet forward each step they took, but by the time they had made it as far as the car park his strength had almost left him and the two older friends were for all intents and purposes taking most of his weight, as they came to the last few yards towards the cars.

"Ok, hold on buddy boy! We're almost there now!" Mike panted, glad that the cars were finally within reach afraid that Steve would collapse fully from the strain of walking.

"We'll take my car Mike! Let's get him in the back and you go and fetch what you need from yours and then get in beside him."

Between both men they manoeuvred Steve onto the back seat and while Mike raced to his car to fetch overnight bags and such like, Gerry retrieved a blanket from the trunk and a spare coat that was in there too. Reaching in the back passenger door, he folded up the coat and gently lifting the young man's head forward he placed it like a pillow behind his head. Then settling Steve's head back onto it, he then covered the young man with the blanket, very alarmed by how ice-cold his hands were compared to the raging heat that was radiating from his forehead.

"Ok, take it easy there now kid! We'll have you back at my place in fifteen minutes! I don't live far from here. One of the perks of the job! Close your eyes now and try to rest."

Gerry climbed into the driver's seat and turned the rearview mirror to view Steve. The young man had his eyes closed but was still shivering and shaking. While he waited for Mike to return, Gerry picked up the radio receiver from the dashboard and spoke into it.

"This is Gerry to Dispatch. Come in Adam. Over! "

The radio crackled to life and a voice replied within seconds.

"Yes Gerry this is Adam! What's up? Over!"

"Adam, I have a situation. Remember those friends of mine who are staying at the upper campsite? Well, one of them has fallen sick. Over!"

"Do you need me to send you medical assistance Gerry?"

"Negative Adam. I'm going to bring them back to my place. I need you to ring Betty for me. Tell her of the situation and let her know I'm on my way with Mike and Steve and that Steve is running up quite a fever. Oh and ask Roger to finish my patrol for me please. Thanks Adam. Over!"

"Will do. I'm on it boss! Over!"

Gerry put the radio receiver back on the dashboard and once again looked worriedly back at Steve. Then starting the engine, he saw Mike on his way back to the car.

Mike returned quickly, having locked back up his car and threw the two bags he had fetched into Gerry's trunk. He had also fetched the box that Mr. Richards had given Steve. He wasn't even sure what had made him bring that but he just knew he didn't want to leave it in their car, without them being nearby in case something would happen to it before the young man got a chance to see what exactly was in it! Placing it carefully in the trunk beside their bags, he closed the trunk and quickly hopped into the back beside Steve.

Seeing his ready-made pillow and blanket made Mike once more smile gratefully at Gerry and he then put an arm around Steve's shoulders to steady him on the drive back to Gerry's house.

As soon as Mike got in safely, Gerry drove off quickly out of the Forest Park and headed for home. Gerry kept an eye on the two men in the back as he drove. Steve wasn't visibly responsive and remained with his eyes shut and Gerry could see the worry on Mike's face as he watched his partner closely. Gerry spoke back to Mike as he drove.

"Try not to worry Mike! Betty will know what to do! We'll be there in no time at all. "

"Thanks Gerry. I know she will. It's just worrying that he deteriorated so fast! "

The two friends remained silent for the rest of the journey and before too long, Gerry pulled into the driveway of his house. Exiting the car quickly, he came around to the door where Steve was and opened it and Mike raced around to join him. Steve never budged and between the two men they cajoled him until he opened his eyes again.

"Come on Steve. We need you to wake up so we can get you inside!"

Steve nodded that he understood but he was feeling so weak and tired! However he forced his feet to move and managed to swing them out of the car while the two men again moved in and grabbed his arms again and half walked, half carried the young man up to the front door. Before they reached it, the door opened and a worried but kindly looking middle-aged woman appeared in front of them. She was very calm and collected though and started issuing instructions immediately.

"Mike, Gerry! Bring him in and set him down on the couch! My word! What happened to him?"

"Hi Betty. I'm really sorry about this. He took ill about an hour ago and he's burning up!" Mike explained as they came past her through the door.

The two older men got Steve inside and laid him out on the couch gently as Betty fetched her nurse's bag. Betty immediately felt his forehead and looked very concerned. Steve opened his eyes again as he felt the hand on his forehead and tried his best to smile at the kindly woman who was checking him over but the awful shivers were making smiling difficult. So he tried to speak instead.

"I'm ... sorry ... for all the ... trouble ... Mrs ... Palmer!" he managed to get out between shudders and Betty smiled at the young man who was so polite despite being so ill. Patting his arm soothingly she replied.

"Don't you worry now young man. It's no trouble at all! You just take it easy and we'll have you feeling better soon." Then turning towards Mike she spoke again. "I see what you mean! He's very hot alright! What other symptoms has he?"

Betty retrieved a mercury thermometer from her bag as she spoke and placed it under Steve's tongue.

"He was physically sick about an hour ago and then the fever seemed to kick in very quickly. He was also complaining of stomach pains." Mike explained.

Betty looked at Mike with a worried expression on her face after hearing Mike relate the symptoms.

"Mike! Has he ever had his appendix out?"

"Yes, he had, about two years ago shortly after he came to work with me!" Mike answered and Betty visibly relaxed.

"Well, thank goodness! At least that rules out that!"

She removed the thermometer and studied it while Gerry and Mike waited anxiously.

"He's very high guys! He's reading 40.3°C/104.5F! "

Do you want me to call an ambulance for him sweetheart?" Gerry asked his wife not liking how high Steve's fever was!

"No, not yet!" Betty replied and seemed to be trying to figure out what was causing Steve's symptoms.

"Mike was he only sick today for the first time?"

Mike looked at Betty sadly, feeling guilty again for taking Steve from San Francisco General against Dr. Armstrong's wishes. He shook his head.

"No Betty, he was feeling sick in the hospital and he's been feeling sick on and off since he was discharged from the hospital back in San Francisco yesterday morning. We thought it was due to Post Traumatic Stress."

"Well, stress and anxiety can cause an upset stomach and nausea alright but it wouldn't cause a fever!" Then Betty thought again and her face lit up.

"Wait a minute! Mike! Gerry said that you told him that Steve rescued a mother and a daughter from San Francisco Bay a few days ago. Was that right?"

"Yes ..."

"Mike! Did he swallow much seawater?"

"Yes, quite a bit in fact! He was complaining that it tasted vile but he coughed most of it back up when he got back onto the pier."

"That's it Mike! Sounds like he could have a bacterial stomach infection caused by contaminated water! Gerry! Call Dr. Fogarty from the clinic and tell him what's happened and that I need him to come and check this young man for me. Actually go and pick him up if you could? I'll also need him to take some blood samples to the Lab for me. We'll need to start him on antibiotics if my suspicions are confirmed."

Gerry immediately flew into action and ran for the phone.

"Betty, he's allergic to penicillin!" Mike added urgently.

"Ok, good job you told us that! Don't worry we can treat him with different antibiotics in that case if it proves to be necessary."

"But wouldn't that have manifested itself sooner Betty? Mike asked.

"No, not necessarily. Bacterial infections can take hold fast or can build gradually. It sounds like it has been taking hold for quite a few days now from what you've been describing. The constant sickness and the loss of appetite are classic symptoms! But a blood test will tell us if we're right or not."

"I better warn you Betty! He's not a fan of needles and they don't agree with him too much either. He ended up black and blue after his last hospitalization! I don't know if he has any usable veins left!"

Gerry returned momentarily to tell Mike and his wife that he had reached Dr. Fogarty and that he was heading over to his house to pick him up. Steve had been resting with his eyes closed but he was still shuddering every now and then. He was listening though to Betty's idea and it made him shiver more to think of the possibility of more needles. Before he had a chance to protest though, a sharp pain shot through his already sore stomach and he groaned loudly and turned suddenly, doubling over and clutching his stomach. Betty placed a hand on the young man's arm.

"Ok Steve! Take it easy. The Doctor will here soon. I'm going to have to try to put in a cannula so we can get some medicine into you. You need a painkiller that will take down your temperature aswell. Mike! Help me get his jacket off and roll up his sleeves please!"

Mike knelt beside the couch and between them both they removed Steve's jacket and Betty rolled up Steve's right shirt sleeve. Betty saw Steve's right arm covered in an ugly bruise that was turning various shades of yellow. She looked at Mike horrified!

"Dear God Mike! I see what you mean! What happened to his arm?"

"I'm not sure Betty. But it had something to do with his I.V. line in the hospital. They said it moved in his arm and it swelled up."

"It infiltrated! Ouch! The poor young man! We won't be using veins in this arm yet that's for sure. Let's check the other one! "

Again Betty examined Steve's other arm and had trouble finding a vein for a cannula.

"I'm beginning to see what you're saying about Steve and needles Mike! Where did they use last successfully can you remember ?"

"The back of his left hand but after just two shots that swelled up aswell and it was very sore too."

Betty examined the back of Steve's left hand and saw the yellowing bruise there too but she still managed to find a viable vein.

"I think I can still use this vein for a cannula but I don't know if it will hold for long. It might be a bit sore for him getting it put in but then hopefully we can use it for everything we need. Mike! I need you to come and talk to him while I try to get it put in."

Mike changed places with Betty and while she prepared the necessary syringes and needles from her bag and started prepping Steve's hand, Mike spoke soothingly to Steve who was starting to get agitated listening to the conversation.

"Ok now buddy boy! You fever is very high so Betty has to put a needle in so she can get some medicine into you to start getting your temperature lowered. The only vein she can find is the one on the back of your left hand again. Now I know that one was very sore before but your veins don't give her a lot of choice so I want you to concentrate on my voice while she's putting the needle in and it will be over before you know it. Ok?"

Mike could swear he saw moisture in Steve's eyes as he battled exhaustion and pain and total discomfort but he nodded bravely at Mike without answering. Mike's heart broke for his partner and he hated seeing him this way. He looked back behind his shoulder and saw Betty with the needle poised and placed his hand on Steve's shoulder ready to comfort him. He felt Steve tense up as the needle entered his hand and he stayed staring at Mike trying his best to ignore the searing pain that was shooting up his left hand as Betty continued to insert the necessary cannula. Steve looked like he wanted to yell out loud but he bit back the sound and a solitary tear escaped and trailed down his cheek. Mike wiped it away with his finger and squeezed his shoulder gently.

"You're doing great buddy boy! It's almost done! Hang in there!"

Steve shuddered violently again and Mike wasn't sure if it was from the fever or the distress this episode was causing. He just knew how relieved he was when Betty announced that it was in! He watched as Betty wrapped up the hand securely so that the cannula would stay in place and not move and Steve then closed his eyes and Mike could see the tension release in Steve's body instantly once the cannula was secured. Betty then drew blood from it and secured the top on the vial ready for analysis and then she gave Steve a shot of ibuprofen through it, to help with the stomach pain and the fever. She left then, momentarily to clear away the various used medical items and returned with some tepid water which she used to sponge Steve's fevered brow with. Steve at this stage was physically exhausted and had seemed to drift off into a very fitful sleep. While he rested Mike took a moment to sit up on the chair beside Steve and he slumped back where he sat, worn out himself from the worry and stress. Betty watched Mike and she placed a hand on his arm.

"Don't worry Mike! The ibuprofen should reduce the fever and make him more comfortable and once we start him on the antibiotics he should start to pick up fast! He'll be fine!"

Mike smiled at Betty and patted her hand in gratitude.

"Thanks Betty. For everything! I know he's in good hands. I just feel bad for him. He's had a hell of a few days! We were supposed to be coming down here for a relaxing weekend of fishing to help him recover but he found out today that a close friend of his died recently and he seems to have just been hit with one thing after another since we got here. He's a good kid Betty! He doesn't deserve any of this!"

As he finished talking he sat forward and placed his elbows on his knees and covered his face with both hands wishing he could take some of the pain and suffering away from his partner. Betty was just about to go and comfort the older man when they were both startled as Steve began to thrash about and yell in a feverish state.

"NO! ... Leave me alone! ... Stay away from me! ... You've done enough! ... I have to get away ... need to ... get away ... HARRY! HELP ME!"

Betty quickly grabbed Steve's arm to protect the cannula in case he banged it but her restraint only caused Steve to struggle more. Mike stood for several seconds horrified by what Steve was yelling and then pulling himself together he rushed forward to help Betty appease the young man. He gently stroked Steve's forehead and spoke into his ear soothingly.

"Steve! Listen to me. It's Mike! Everything's alright! You're ok! Nobody's going to hurt you! You're safe. Do you hear me now? You need to calm down!"

Steve wasn't taking anything in, still deep in the throes of the fever that was raging within him. His hair was damp with sweat and he looked panicked and confused. As Mike continued to talk to him, he suddenly stopped thrashing and turned his head to stare at Mike. He seemed to be trying to focus on the face that was speaking to him but he wasn't managing to. He was breathing very heavy and Mike felt that Steve was almost looking straight through him. It unnerved Mike and so he stopped talking and just stayed stroking the young man's clammy forehead trying to soothe his troubled, and desperately sick partner. Steve was sure that he saw Harry beside him through the feverish haze that had seemed to settle around him and he felt safe again. Looking at Mike, but seeing Harry in his fevered state he stammered ...

"Harry? Is that you? "

Mike was temporarily stunned by Steve's words and looked at Betty for help on what to do next. Betty had steadied the hand that held the cannula and looked at Mike sympathetically.

"Mike, he's calmed down because he thinks you're this Harry person. It's the fever talking not Steve! If it calms him, then you need to be this Harry for him . I can't afford for him to damage this cannula! The meds should kick in soon!"

Mike looked horrified at having to lie to Steve but he understood the reasoning behind Betty's advice. With tears springing to his eyes he leaned towards the young man on the couch and spoke emotionally.

"Yes, Steve. It's Harry! Everything's ok now. You need to rest."

Steve visibly relaxed as he stayed staring blankly at Mike but seeing his beloved Grandfather smiling at him and telling him that he was going to be ok.

"Harry! I don't want to go ... back there. He ... hates me ... can't stay there. Why did you have to leave? ... I ... miss ... you. "

As a horrible rack of shudders ran through Steve, tears fell down his cheeks and he closed his eyes, totally drained and worn out. Mike felt a lump appear in his throat and he looked once more at Betty who was watching them both, confused by the verbal exchange between the two men. Mike however felt that he knew what Steve was talking about and felt great sympathy for the young man who had endured so much. With his hand gently on Steve's forehead he leaned in once more and whispered in Steve's ear.

"It's ok Steve. That man will never hurt you again! You have my word! You need to rest now. Do you hear me Steve? I'm right here. Everything's ok!"

Steve calmed and despite the shivers he seemed more restful. Betty sensed that Mike was getting upset himself and placed a hand gently on the older man's shoulder. Just then they heard the front door open and voices and footsteps got louder until the living room door opened and Gerry appeared with another man in hot pursuit. The Doctor who accompanied Gerry was probably in his mid-forties, Mike reckoned and he quickly came forward and approached Betty as she quickly filled him in on what was going on with the sick young man lying on the couch. Betty gestured to Gerry that he needed to attend to Mike, by bringing him into the kitchen for some coffee and some respite so that the Doctor could examine Steve freely. Gerry dutifully clasped Mike's shoulders and spoke reassuringly to his longtime friend.

"Mike! Why don't you come with me and get some coffee in the kitchen and let Dr. Fogarty do his job? Ok? He's in good hands Mike! Betty will come and get us when he's done. "

Mike hadn't budged from beside Steve, his hand still resting on Steve's feverish brow. He looked up at Gerry and knew that Gerry was right but he didn't feel good about leaving Steve either. He looked desperately at Betty knowing that Betty had heard the previous exchange that Gerry hadn't, and hoping that she would understand his difficulty in leaving his partner's side. Thankfully she did seem to understand and as she patted Mike's shoulder she also spoke.

"Mike, he'll be ok! If he asks for you again, I promise I'll come get you! Now you need to go with Gerry, Mike ."

That seemed to appease Mike and he nodded gratefully at her, suddenly feeling worn out himself from the worry, the stress and the upset of what had been a very traumatic afternoon! Standing up he headed for the kitchen after Gerry, but reaching the kitchen door he allowed himself one more glance back at Steve who was now being examined and attended to by Dr. Fogarty and Betty, with a great urgency. Thankfully he seemed oblivious to the new-found attention and was remaining calm and compliant. Thinking once more about the words he had spoken through his fever, Mike felt an anger and rage rise from deep within him and he really hoped that before this weekend was out he would get a chance to meet Steve's no good uncle but yet the sensible side of him feared that if he were to meet him, he would not to be able to control his feelings or his anger towards the man who had caused so much as yet unknown, suffering to the young man who had become like a son to him. Henry would wish he had never met Mike Stone that was for certain!


	18. Chapter 18

**Going Home**

Chapter 18

Mike headed wearily into the kitchen after Gerry and sat down at the kitchen table. There was a lovely aroma of home cooking and it was the first thing that Mike noticed.

"Hmmm ... something smells nice!" he announced trying to make normal conversation to take his mind of what was happening in the living room.

"Yeah, it's beef stew! Betty was cooking it for you guys coming to dinner tonight! We'll have it for later when things settle down a little."

"Betty always was an excellent cook! I remember when her and Helen used to spend most of their time on the phone to each other swapping their latest recipes!"

Mike smiled momentarily at the memory but then remembering that his beloved Helen was gone, his sadness returned. Gerry looked over at his old friend as he made the coffee .

"Mike, I really was sorry to hear about Helen. If we had known we would have come to be there for you! She was a wonderful person! Always smiling, always happy!"

"Yes, yes she was! And I know you would have come! I'm sorry I never got word to you. It was a strange time and I guess for a while back then, I didn't know if I was coming or going to be honest."

Mike looked back at the door to the living room as he spoke and wondered if Steve was getting on alright! He wanted to go back in to check but knew it was better to let the Doctor do his job and he trusted Betty to get him if he was needed so he looked back at Gerry again. He noticed that Gerry was watching him and Gerry saw the tiredness and worry on his friend's face.

"You really care about that young man in there, don't you?"

Mike smiled warmly.

"Yes ... I guess he's kind of become more like a son to me than a partner! It was ... well ... it was tough for a while after Helen died, Gerry! Then Jeannie went off to college! When Steve was assigned to me, you know my first thought was that I was too long in the tooth to be training in a new partner especially one so young and ambitious! But he kind of grows on you, you know? In a good way! He brought new purpose back into my life and he's a damn fine police officer! He didn't have it easy as a kid and he has very few blood relatives to speak of. We've become good friends but ... I hate to see him so sick! ..."

Mike stopped talking as he felt the lump in his throat return and was grateful for the distraction as Gerry placed a steaming hot mug of coffee in front of him! Taking it in his hand, he sipped the warm liquid and it tasted good!

"You always did make good coffee Gerry! Thanks."

"Sounds like you turned out to be good for each other!"

Mike smiled at Gerry's perceptive statement.

"Yes, I guess you could say that!" and he drank more of his coffee.

"Mike! He's going to be ok. But if you don't mind me saying it seems to me that you seem worried about more than his stomach infection though. Do you want to talk about it?" Gerry asked sitting down opposite Mike with his own coffee.

"Am I that easy to read?" Mike asked his good friend.

"You always were Mike! " Gerry said laughing.

Mike laughed back and it helped him gain a bit more control over his emotions.

"Yes, as always, you're right. I know that Betty and that Doctor in there will fix him up as good as new but ... well ... things have been difficult since we came down here this weekend. I knew he had a rough childhood but I'm just starting to get a picture of how tough it really was and I'm worried that what he went through, might be a little harder for him to recover from than that infection he's picked up!"

"Come on Mike, spill it! You know anything you tell me, stays with me!"

"Yes, I know that Gerry, but to be honest, I'm not even sure I know the full story myself!"

"What do you mean?"

"Steve lost his parents when he was five. A car accident. He went to live with his Grandfather. When he was fifteen, his Grandfather died of a massive heart attack. Steve ... found him!"

"God Mike! That's tough! You said he was fifteen?"

Mike nodded.

"Yes, yes it was tough. But that's not the half of it, Gerry! His aunt and uncle took him in but over the last few days I've heard things about the Uncle that are less than savoury and it's looking more and more like he gave Steve a bad time while he was living there!"

"What kind of bad time are we talking about Mike?" Gerry asked nervously almost dreading the answer, mostly for the young man's sake.

Mike looked at Gerry dauntingly.

"That's the part I'm not sure about! I know he was a mean-spirited man because Steve's Grandfather as much as said so in a letter he left for Steve after his death. I know he took Steve out of his school, away from his friends. I know he said some pretty nasty things to him and Steve told me that the last time he was there for Thanksgiving the Uncle gave him a split lip and a bruised jaw because he disagreed about his career choice! And today I heard rumours that he shouted a lot and that shortly after Steve went to live there he ended up with his arm in a sling and all banged up. Then just before you came back with the Doctor, when his fever was sky-high he was shouting in his sleep for someone to leave him alone and said that he couldn't go back there because "He" hated him! ... " Mike stared momentarily at his coffee and then added " Now you know all I know! I'm just not sure what to make of it Gerry! What would you make of it?"

Silence fell between the two friends for a few minutes as Gerry processed what he had just heard.

"I think ... honestly, that you're jumping to a lot of conclusions Mike! I know it sounds bad but I take it you suspect that he was ... well, I guess there's no easy way to say it, that he was abused by his Uncle?"

"Sounds like it to me! But I hope I'm wrong Gerry!"

"That's a serious accusation Mike! Especially when you have very little proof! Have you asked Steve about it? "

Mike shook his head sadly.

"No ... he said the reason he had his arm in a sling was that he had an accident, but he never elaborated. He's very cagey about the Uncle though. He doesn't want to see him and I know whatever went on in that house still bothers him. "

"Mike, I think you need tread cautiously on this one. It could all just be that you're reading something into everything you've heard. I'd wait until he's feeling better and talk to him about it. But unless you hear it from him I wouldn't go off trying to talk to his Uncle. You need to take a step back on this one Mike. Get your facts straight first and then deal with it. If you're right! ... well ... he's going to need your help more than ever but if you're wrong Mike, you could just end up making things worse!"

Mike listened to Gerry's advice and smiled broadly.

"What makes you think I was planning on paying the Uncle a visit?"

Gerry chuckled.

"Come on Mike! This is me remember? I know you! When someone hurts someone you care about, you'll do anything it takes to make things right again. Tell me I'm wrong! Tell me you weren't planning on giving Steve's Uncle a piece of your mind! Huh?"

Mike chuckled and put his hands up in mock surrender.

"Ok, I give up. I guess it had crossed my mind! But you're right! I'm jumping to conclusions. It might all be something out of nothing and I do need to talk to Steve about it .Ok, you win! I'll stay away from the Uncle until I've talked to Steve."

"Good! Now in the mean time you can help him get over this instead! Alright?"

"Ok, thanks Gerry. It helped to talk about it! And thanks for all your help. I don't know what I would have done earlier only for that walkie-talkie you gave me. You really saved the day. I owe you one!"

Gerry reached out and patted Mike's arm.

"Mike, you don't owe me anything! You were a good friend to me back in San Francisco. I think I left owing you a lot more. You knew I was getting burnt out in my old job! Hey it was you who said I should get out and find something else and make a new life for myself! Moving here was the best thing I ever did! So I think we're even Mike! "

Mike smiled at Gerry but before he could reply the kitchen door opened and Betty came in. Mike looked up anxiously but she smiled and put a hand up to let him know everything was alright! Coming over to him and sitting beside Mike, she started to speak.

"Relax Mike! He's fine! Dr. Fogarty agrees with me. He thinks it's more than likely a bacterial stomach infection too from the dirty water in the Bay. He's given him his first dose of antibiotics, NOT penicillin based and his temperature is starting to come down slowly! He's resting now. Dr. Fogarty is checking him over."

Mike visibly relaxed and he smiled at Betty.

"Thanks Betty for everything. What happens now?"

"Now we need to watch him closely for the night. It will probably take at least three doses of the antibiotics before we start seeing an improvement. He'll get them six hourly so it will probably be sometime tomorrow morning when he starts to pick up. His fever may spike again during the night! The ibuprofen is all that's keeping it down at the minute so he might need more of that later on too. I just hope the vein holds up to all those shots. We'll need to watch him for the fever coming back and while it's unlikely he'll have a bad reaction to the different antibiotic we'll have to keep a close eye just in case. "

"Well, I'll watch him! Don't worry!" Mike stated.

Gerry piped in.

"No Mike! You're out on your feet! We'll take turns. The three of us! Steve can stay where he is on the couch. You can have the bed in the spare room and we'll take three hourly shifts. How does that sound?"

Mike started to protest.

"No! You two have done more than you needed to. I wouldn't hear of you losing sleep on top of everything else. Steve is my responsibility. I'll watch him!"

"No arguments Mike! Now you can take first shift if you like, but then we take turns! We're all friends here Mike. That's what friends do!" Gerry insisted.

Mike could see that Gerry wasn't going to take no for an answer so he gave in and nodded gratefully.

"Ok, thanks! ... Betty! Can I see him again now?"

"Sure Mike. Let's go in!"

Mike followed Betty back into the living room and over to Steve. Dr. Fogarty was kneeling next to the couch listening to Steve's heartbeat with his stethoscope and then he took his pulse. Seeing Betty and the other man return he stood back up to speak to them. Betty spoke first.

"Mike, this is Dan Fogarty. He's one of the finest young Doctors we have at the Clinic. Steve is in good hands! Dan, this is Mike Stone."

Dan Fogarty removed his medical glove and shook hands with Mike.

"Nice to meet you" the polite young Doctor replied.

"You too and thanks for coming over! How's he doing?" Mike asked anxiously.

"Well, I tend to agree with Betty. It looks like a bacterial infection from swallowing dirty sea water. Betty said he complained that it tasted bad?"

"Yes, I remember he said he couldn't get the taste out of his mouth but he threw up most of it when he got back on the pier." Mike elaborated.

"Unfortunately it only takes a small amount left behind to cause problems. The Bay isn't known for its clean water! The antibiotics should sort it out although he probably has another twelve tough hours ahead of him! His temperature could spike again and he may still be sick again. I'm also worried that he's not drinking. He's showing some signs of dehydration. His veins aren't great and I don't think the vein we're using right now could handle an IV infusion so you're going to have to persist in trying to get fluids into him! He mightn't keep it down at first but you have to persist with it! By the morning he should be feeling better and the fever should break. Then we can change him onto antibiotic tablets when he can stomach them better. I'm going to drop his blood sample into the Lab on my way home. We should have the results sometime tomorrow. I'll call back tomorrow to check on him"

Gerry had come back into the living room and spoke next.

"Come on Dan! I'll drop you home again! Thanks for all your help!"

All three people in the room thanked the young Doctor and as Betty saw them out, Mike took a seat beside Steve again. He seemed more restful and the terrible shivering appeared to have stopped. He looked as if he was sleeping, probably worn out by the whole ordeal. He reached over and felt his forehead and the awful intense heat had cooled a good deal thankfully. He was covered with a light blanket and Mike pulled it up around him and tucked him in. Betty returned and stood in the doorway and watched Mike caring for Steve and she smiled. Walking over to him, she placed a hand on the older man's shoulder.

"He's very lucky to have you watching out for him Mike! I hope he knows that!"

Mike chuckled.

"He might disagree with you when he's typing up his usual endless police reports back in San Francisco!" then patting Betty's hand he added. " But I think I'm lucky to have him watching out for me too!"

"I'm going to go finish dinner. I think we could all use some. Steve should sleep for a while now. We'll eat in the dining room where we can keep an eye on him!"

"Ok, thanks Betty. Oh and it smells delicious by the way! I'll just stay and keep an eye on him for the moment if that's ok?"

Betty nodded and went into the kitchen. "Sure Mike, call me if you need me. Ok? Dinner won't be long!"

Gerry arrived back within twenty minutes and Betty soon had the dinner dished up. They ate at the dining table and with the double doors left wide open, from where Mike sat he had a clear view of where Steve was lying. The three ate heartily, all realizing how hungry they were as they devoured the delicious stew that Betty had prepared. The conversation turned to their children and Mike told them all about Jeannie and her course at Arizona State University and Gerry and Betty showed Mike pictures of their two kids now all grown up just like Jeannie. Their daughter Emily was studying law at Berkeley and their son Mark was an accountant living in Sacramento, married with twin baby sons! The proud Grandparents showed Mike pictures of their three-month old grandsons and Mike congratulated his two friends and they chatted and caught up on all their news. As Mike finished his bowl and wiped his mouth with his napkin he glanced for the fiftieth time during the meal, over at Steve.

"You know Betty, it's a pity the boy is sick. Beef stew is his favourite and this was delicious! I'm sure he would have enjoyed it. You outdid yourself!"

"Thanks Mike and you're very welcome! There's plenty left. Maybe when he's feeling a little better tomorrow we might be able to persuade him to have some!"

"Maybe ..." Mike added still staring in at Steve and hoping he would begin to pick up sooner rather than later.

Betty reached over and grabbed his arm.

"Mike, you don't have to keep watching him every second! If he wakes we'll hear him or see him. Try to stop worrying, please!"

Mike blushed and smiled.

"Sorry, I guess you must think I'm a little crazy huh? It's just that ..."

But before he could finish Betty interrupted.

"No Mike! I don't think you're crazy! I used to feel the same way every time Mark was sick!"

Mike smiled at Betty realizing from what she said that she knew that Steve was like a son to him and he suddenly felt he didn't need to explain his concern any further. He looked up at Gerry who chuckled.

"Women! Eh Mike? They know us better than we know ourselves!"

Mike laughed as Betty added "And don't you forget it!"

Just then the phone rang and Gerry went to answer it. He returned looking slightly annoyed seconds later and Mike and Betty both looked at him curious about what was wrong.

"Sorry guys! I have to go out for a while. There's trouble over at the Park and Roger wants me to go and help him, then looking at Betty and kissing her on the forehead, he added "Sorry sweetheart! I'll try not to be too long!"

Mike looked slightly worried.

"Trouble? Maybe I should go along too! Give you a hand!" Mike asked suddenly feeling torn between wanting to help Gerry and keep an eye on Steve.

"No, it's fine Mike. It's always the same thing! Either teenagers lighting fires and drinking from cans or grown men shooting up drugs and making a nuisance of themselves! I swear Mike I don't know what the world is coming to! Besides there's no need to worry Mike! Roger has called on the local police to help us out too! There'll be enough of us to go around. Hopefully I won't be long. See you both later!"

Betty followed her husband out and after saying goodbye she returned to Mike, passing the couch on her way back and checking on Steve first.

"He's still asleep Mike but he's getting a bit restless. We'll need to keep a close eye on him" and with that she started clearing up the dirty dishes from the table. Mike stood up and stopped her.

"Now, now! Let me, will you? You've done all the work so far! At least let me earn my keep! Why don't you go in and sit down with Steve and I'll have these cleared away and washed up in no time at all!"

Betty smiled. "Ever the gentleman Mike! Thank you!"

"You're welcome! " Mike said stacking the dirty dishes together." Does Gerry get called away like that often?"

"Lately yes! But like he said Mike, at least here it's mostly troublesome teens or drug addicts! At least it's not bank robbers or serial killers like back in San Francisco! I don't have to worry as much anymore when he gets called out like I used to then! Are you sure you don't mind washing up?"

"Absolutely not! It's the least I can do!" and with that Mike brought the dishes out to the kitchen and Betty went in and sat down in the chair next to Steve. She lay back and watched as Steve tossed and turned a little in his sleep. Reaching out a hand she shook her head as she felt his forehead, fearful that she could feel some heat returning. Next, Steve startled awake and he looked around the room frantically as if he couldn't remember where he was. He looked to his left and saw Betty and seemed to be trying to remember who she was. Betty smiled at the young man and was just about to tell him when he stammered.

"Mrs ...Palmer?"

"Yes Steve! But you should call me Betty! Mrs Palmer makes me feel very old!" Betty said still smiling at him warmly and then seeing him scan the room behind her she knew exactly who he was looking for! "Don't worry. Mike's just in the kitchen. And you're going to be fine young man! Looks like you've developed a bacterial stomach infection from swallowing the Bay water a few days ago. We've started you on antibiotics, not penicillin! Mike told us about your allergy to it! Hopefully by tomorrow you should start to feel better!"

"An infection? Is ... that what's been making me feel sick all along?"

"Yes, it looks like it! "

Steve slumped back against his pillow and closed his eyes! He was starting to feel cold again and he suddenly could feel the nausea building. He started to panic slightly. The last thing he wanted to do was to throw up in Mike's friend's house in front of Mrs. Palmer! He tried to breathe through it and prayed that it would go away but his stomach was churning again and he was struggling to control it. Betty being a nurse,spotted the signs immediately and spoke urgently to him.

"Steve! Are you feeling sick again?"

Steve nodded, upset that he was losing the battle to contain it and Betty quickly shouted for Mike.

"MIKE!"

Mike came running in from the kitchen fearing that something was dreadfully wrong. "Betty! What is it? What's wrong?"

"Mike! He's feeling sick! Get me a basin from under the kitchen sink please!"

Mike raced into the kitchen and finding the basin where Betty said it was, he ran back to Betty and Steve.

Steve looked like death warmed up and was swallowing hard and Mike felt worry tear at his heart again as Betty spoke.

"Mike, help me turn him over onto his side! We have to watch the cannula though!"

Between them they turned him gently over on his side but Steve had his eyes shut tight and was still fighting the urge to throw up with every ounce of willpower he had, mainly out of pure embarrassment.

"Steve, stop fighting it! " Betty chastised gently. "You'll only make yourself feel worse!"

Knowing Steve as well as he did, Mike knew that the thoughts of throwing up in Mike's friend's house, the home of people he hardly knew, was killing the young man and so he leaned closer and spoke firmly to his partner.

"Listen to me Steve! Betty here is a nurse! She's seen people throwing up, hundreds of times and she understands that you can't help it. Now stop fighting it and get rid of it! Now I'm telling you! Listen to me!"

Steve opened his eyes and looked miserably at Mike. "But Mike ..."

"It's ok Steve! "and the look Mike gave Steve spoke a million words. So despite his reluctance Steve did as he was told and within seconds he had purged his stomach of what little was left in it! Mike then eased him back lying down and saw how upset and mortified he was feeling!

"Try to relax! It's over now! I know you hated having to do that! But it can't be helped. Rest now while I clean up."

Mike headed off towards the bathroom with the basin and Betty wiped Steve's mouth and face. Steve cast a sideways glance at Betty and stammered.

"I'm ... really sorry ... Ma'am. "

Betty smiled. "You don't have to be! Like Mike said I do this for a living! He's very worried about you, you know! You must have made quite an impression on him as his partner! I haven't seen him this fraught since Jeannie was hospitalized with tonsilitis when she was nine!"

Steve closed his eyes, feeling worn out all of a sudden and feeling bad for a dozen reasons. Mike returned and Betty gestured to him that Steve was very down. Getting up to allow Mike to sit beside the young man, she quietly whispered to Mike.

"I'll go put on some coffee! Talk to him Mike! He badly needs cheering up!"

Mike nodded at Betty and watched as she left the room. Then he sat down and pulled his chair closer to the couch.

"Steve! What's chewing on you buddy boy! Come on! I know you! It's not just the sickness! Out with it!"

Steve opened his eyes and looked at Mike noticing that they were alone and he spoke from the heart.

"I don't know Mike ... it's everything I guess. I can't believe this is all happening! Some weekend this turned out to be! I wish we'd stayed in San Francisco!"

"Oh now, I know you've had your fair share of upset these last few days but it hasn't been all bad! You enjoyed some of the camping and the fishing didn't you? And you got Davey's address and you got to do something special in Harry's memory!"

"Yeah I guess ... but you're just sugar-coating over the rest of it Mike! What about Greg huh? I let him down badly Mike! ... I was supposed to be his ... friend ..."

Steve's stomach was hurting badly and he couldn't bring himself to say anymore. Thinking about Greg, he felt tears spring to his eyes and he placed his right hand over his face to mask his upset. Mike heard the raw emotion in his partner's voice and knew the tragic news of his friend's death had wounded him deeply. Placing a hand on Steve's arm Mike spoke firmly.

"Steve! Greg's death wasn't your fault! He made his own choices! Just like we all do. You can't beat yourself up about every person you ever knew who made the wrong choices in life. Otherwise we'd all be feeling guilty!"

Steve rubbed at his eyes and looked again at Mike. He managed to pull himself together enough to be able to speak again and thinking about what Mike had said he knew that Mike was right! But he was feeling so lousy that everything was getting to him.

"Ok, maybe you have a point about Greg. But what about all the other things this weekend huh?"

"Like what?"

"The nightmares! This sickness! Throwing up in your friend's house and all the bad mem ..."

Steve stopped mid sentence and looked away from Mike realizing he had almost said too much! Mike's face grew serious. Realizing what Steve was going to say he squeezed Steve's shoulder.

"What were you going to say Steve?"

"Nothing ... " Steve flustered. "Don't pay any attention to anything I'm saying. I guess I just feel lousy that's all! It makes you say foolish things! ..."

"You were going to say all the bad memories weren't you?"

Steve protested a little too strongly.

"NO! ..."

"Yes, you were! Now I know you didn't have any bad memories with Harry so you were talking about Henry weren't you?"

Again Steve looked flustered. "No Mike! I was just talking generally, that's all ..."

"STEVE! We have to talk!"

"Mike ... not now! Please!" Steve pleaded feeling himself getting upset again and feeling unable to field these questions in his current state.

"Steve ... you can't keep avoiding the subject! I know it's none of my business but I need to know Steve! Did Henry? ...well did he ... lay a finger on you in any way while you lived there?"

Steve looked horrified and upset at what he felt Mike was suggesting!

"NO! HE DIDN'T! DEAR GOD MIKE! What made you ask me that?"

Mike realized that he had maybe overstepped the mark by asking such a personal question and tried to explain himself before Steve got too upset.

"Steve, I just had to ask. You won't talk to me Steve! I know something happened but you won't open up about it! You constantly keep everything bottled up! I just want to help you buddy boy!"

Mike just STOP IT! I'm not one of your cases to be solved! And you're right it is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Steve shouted at Mike and then instantly regretted it. He hadn't meant to yell at Mike, but he just wanted the questions to stop for a while and for the sickness to leave him alone!

Then to Steve's further horror the nausea returned full force and his stomach started to burn. Betty heard the raised voices and hurried back into the room. Just as she reached the two men, Steve turned suddenly towards the basin that was on the floor and started to heave again painfully. Mike rushed forward feeling sorry that he had upset the young man so badly but Steve pulled away from Mike weakly, too sick and upset to endure any more painful interrogations.

"Please Mike ... leave ... me ... alone! ..." he panted between heaves and Betty stepped in to help him instead.

Looking up, Betty gestured for Mike to take a break and give her a chance to calm him down, but wondering at the same time what could possibly have caused such an exchange between the two men who had been as close as father and son earlier!

Mike got up, looking crestfallen and headed for the kitchen. He knew he should have waited to raise the subject when Steve was feeling better but he just couldn't help himself when he had heard Steve so upset! Now he just hoped that Steve would forgive him for raising the subject at all.

Mike banged the kitchen counter in frustration, annoyed with himself for upsetting Steve but also because he was still none the wiser what had happened all those years ago between Steve and Henry, his gut instinct still yelling at him that Steve was not telling the whole truth! But all he had managed to do was cause Steve to clam up even further and push him away! He just hoped that when Steve was feeling better that he would see that Mike's heart had been in the right place. But for now he would just have to wait helplessly for that to happen!


	19. Chapter 19

**Going Home**

**A/N: A heartfelt thanks again for all those who are still reading and following this story! I hope it is not disappointing anyone along the way. It is heading nicely towards it's conclusion. Thanks for all those who left such nice reviews on my last chapter...You have my deepest gratitude. Here is the next installment hopefully for your enjoyment!  
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Chapter 19

Mike stood for several minutes in the Palmer's kitchen feeling utterly miserable. He was furious with himself for pushing Steve so hard when he was obviously so ill and even when Steve had pleaded with him to leave the questions for another time. But there had been something about the way Steve had gone to say "bad memories" that had triggered some deep protective and paternal instinct inside of him! In that instant he had needed to know what that dreadful man had done to Steve to cause such upset and torment to bother him so badly even after all these years and he had been so caught up in his interrogation and his need for the truth that he had only caused even more upset to the young man he was desperately trying to help and protect.

He thought about going back out there and apologizing to his partner but both times that he attempted it, he had decided that it might just make an already bad situation worse. Instead, looking around the kitchen his eyes rested on the remaining pile of dishes he hadn't managed to finish cleaning when Betty had called him earlier and he decided that perhaps finishing that task might at least take his mind off what had happened ! So he washed, dried and stacked the remaining dishes carefully on the counter over the next fifteen minutes. He was just drying his hands when the kitchen door opened and Betty entered. Mike looked at her anxiously.

"How is he? Is he alright?"

Betty nodded and smiled sympathetically at Mike.

"Yes, he's ok for the moment. He was very sick and upset. I managed to get him to drink some water but it didn't stay down long! I think we're going to have trouble getting fluids into him! It took a while but he's finally gone back to sleep. I think his temperature is coming back though! His forehead is getting hotter and he's not due any more ibuprofen for two more hours! I think we're going to have some trouble keeping him comfortable until his next meds are due! Mike? ... What happened?"

Mike looked down embarrassed at what had happened but then he looked back up at Betty kindly.

"Well, I guess I should explain things. I already told Gerry and you know I trust you too, just like Helen always did! "

Mike went on to explain everything to Betty that he had told Gerry earlier about what he knew about Steve's Uncle Henry and the suspicions that he had. He told her that he had broached the subject foolishly and how Steve had pushed him away and refused to speak of it with him. Betty had listened patiently and quietly and hadn't interrupted Mike once. Now when he finished the story, she sat down heavily on one of the kitchen chairs looking sorrowful and horrified all at the same time.

"Mike! That's awful! You don't really think his Uncle would have hurt him do you?"

"I don't know what to think Betty. That's the problem! The more I ask, the more he pushes me away!"

Mike looked so remorseful and helpless that Betty felt very sorry for him and reaching out and taking his arm she pulled him gently down to sit beside her.

"Mike! Steve is very ill! You shouldn't take anything he says right now personally! You know, I only met that young man, and seen you two together for the last four hours but already I know this! He'll tell you what you want to know when he's ready Mike! For all intents and purposes you two are like father and son! You just have to let him tell you in his own time Mike! He has to feel able to tell you what went on and if it is what you think then that's going to be a very hard thing for him to do! You must be patient with him Mike! Give him time and things will work out. You'll see!"

Betty finished speaking, smiled sweetly and patted his arm kindly. Mike smiled back knowing that everything she had said made sense and he deeply appreciated her words.

"You know Betty, you're absolutely right! Thanks for that! I guess the cop in me just wants to punish the perpetrator but what I should be doing is also understanding and helping the victim too ... Thanks for reminding me of that! You know Gerry's lucky to have you!"

Betty chuckled.

"Do me a favour and remind of him that will you, every now and then?"

"You got it!" Mike said chuckling too and feeling grateful that he was at least able to laugh again.

Betty spoke next.

"Mike, you look worn out! Why don't you go to the spare room and get a couple of hours sleep, ok? I'll take the first three-hour watch. I want to wait for Gerry to get back anyway and in two hours Steve will need his next meds so I can give him those! What do you say?"

"Ok, I think you're right! Hopefully by then he'll have forgiven me for being such a stubborn old goat! I'll see you in three hours at one thirty am. Thanks again Betty! Goodnight!"

"Goodnight Mike. I hope you manage to get some sleep! If you need anything just call !"

"Ok ... Oh and Betty!" Mike said stopping in the doorway and looking back. " If he asks for me will you ... will you wake me?"

"Count on it!" Betty answered and she watched as Mike left the kitchen and following him outside she watched as he went wearily up the stairs to the spare room. Then she headed back to Steve. Checking his forehead she frowned again as the heat was definitely increasing! Fetching a cool cloth she laid it on his forehead and then slumping into the armchair beside him she picked up the book she was currently reading and began to read, as she also kept an eye on Steve and waited for her husband to return.

Betty realized that she must have dozed off for a while in the chair as the sound of the front door opening startled her awake. Checking her watch she saw that it was just gone eleven thirty and couldn't believe that she had slept for nearly an hour. Feeling guilty for abandoning her charge even temporarily she quickly checked the young man beside her and while his forehead was still quite hot to the touch, he still appeared to be sleeping. She checked his pulse and found it a little bit fast for her liking but then hearing footsteps out in the hall, she hurried nervously towards the living room door, calling quietly as she went.

"Gerry! Is that you?"

"Yes, sweetheart! " Gerry's voice answered and breathing a sigh of relief, Betty headed out to the hall and saw Gerry removing his heavy Ranger jacket and hanging it up on the coat rack inside the door. With his back to her he spoke again.

"Sorry I was so long! How's the patient? "

"He's ok for the moment but he won't show any vast improvement until the morning. I finally managed to persuade Mike to get some sleep at least. He was exhausted! What happened at the Park ?"

Gerry turned slowly and sheepishly around to face his wife and she gasped in horror as she saw a white dressing over her husband's right eye!

"Oh my God Gerry! What happened?"

"Now, now honey don't fuss ok? I'm fine! Things just got a little rough over there. It was that Ryan chap again and three of his cronies. They were more stoned than usual and they got a little aggressive. They didn't want to come with us quietly so they started throwing stones. I guess I didn't duck at the right time! Serves me right for eating too much of that delicious meal of yours! It meant I didn't move fast enough!" Gerry added chuckling!

Betty threw her arms around her husband's waist and held him closely. Looking up at the dressing she added.

"I better take a look at that! Did you lose consciousness ?"

"Betty, honey you're fussing! No I didn't lose consciousness ! I just felt like an old fool! It didn't even need stitches! It's just a small cut that's all. I'M FINE! "

"Now, Mr Ranger Sir! I am the nurse around here and I will tell you if you're fine or not! Ok?"

"Yes Ma'am !"

Betty took him by the hand and brought him with her into the living room and sat him down in one of the armchairs while she retrieved her nurse's bag from beside the couch. As she picked it up Steve moved fitfully and spoke feverishly!

"Mike! ... Don't leave ... I'm ... sorry ..."

Betty stopped and placed a hand on his forehead and immediately got her thermometer from her bag. Not wanting to disturb her patient unnecessarily she placed the thermometer inside his shirt, and under his arm. Gerry got up and came to stand beside her.

"What's wrong? Is he ok?"

"I think his fever has spiked again but he's not due any meds for another hour!"

"That's not good is it?"

"No!"

"Why was he asking Mike not to leave?"

"It's probably just the fever talking but well ... him and Mike had a slight falling out earlier!"

"What about?"

"His Uncle apparently. Mike was pushing him to tell him what happened!"

"Oh no! I told him to wait until Steve was feeling better to broach that subject!"

"Anyway, I think it will be ok! The two of them seem very close. I don't think it will stay a problem between them for long! "

Removing the thermometer carefully from under Steve's arm, Betty read it and sighed heavily.

"Oh no! Just what I suspected! His fever is very high again!"

Betty frowned and glanced over at the mantel clock. Now fifty-five minutes before she could administer the ibuprofen and the next antibiotic dose! Steve was starting to shiver slightly but was still managing to stay asleep but Betty knew it probably wouldn't last long so she decided to attend to her husband's wound quickly. Grabbing her bag she gasped as she removed the dressing and saw the ugly cut and growing bruise on her husband's temple.

"Did that Ryan fellow do this, Gerry? That young man is a menace!"

"No, actually one of his cronies threw the rock that hit me but you can bet it was Ryan inciting them! They're going to be spending the night in the County Jail anyway! That will soon get the drugs out of their system! You know what the saddest part is Betty?" Gerry asked looking sorrowful.

"What?" Betty asked as she continued to clean the cut and put a clean dressing on it.

"His mother always seems so nice! So respectable you know? But every time she has to bail that no good son of hers out I'd swear she looks a little bit more tired and beat down! It's such a shame!"

"What about his father? Isn't he around?"

"I don't know! I've never seen him! She's the only one who comes every time! We had to impound that old pick up truck of his again too! They were driving it around the Park like maniacs!"

"I'm just glad you're home ok! But I'll bet that hurts? Have you any pain?"

Gerry rubbed his temple gingerly.

"Maybe just a small headache! But I'll be fine! I'll take my turn with Steve just like I promised I would!"

"Nurses Orders! You'll take two aspirin and go and get a good night's sleep. Me and Mike can handle the night shifts. "

"But, Betty ..."

"Ah, ah, no arguments! " Betty said smiling. "The aspirin are in the kitchen cabinet! "

"Yes Ma'am !" Gerry said pretending to salute and causing Betty to laugh and she watched as he headed into the kitchen. Movement behind her made her turn around and she saw Steve open his eyes and start to shake alarmingly and her smile faded quickly. Racing back to Steve she saw him looking frantically around him and tried to calm him.

"It's alright Steve! Your fever is high again! But you're ok. You need to try to stay calm and rest. I can give you your meds soon to lower it! "

"Where's ... Mike?" Has he ... left? He has ... hasn't he? I told him to ... leave! He's ... left me! Just like ... Harry. Oh God! ... It's all ... my fault! I didn't mean to ... shout at him! I just felt ... so ... sick! I have to ... find him!"

Steve was feverishly ranting and working himself up into a state. Betty quickly moved to calm him again.

"STEVE ! Listen to me! Mike hasn't gone anywhere! I just sent him upstairs to get some sleep! He'll be back down here in a little while to you."

"No ... I sent him away! I messed up! I've messed ... everything up! I have to find him ... and tell him ... I'm sorry! Please! ... I have ... to find him!"

Shivers were wracking Steve's body as the fever took hold and he didn't seem to believe Betty that Mike was only upstairs. Steve was in great distress and was getting visibly upset, so, fearful that he would make his fever worse or upset the cannula in his hand, Betty decided that she would have to give him the visible proof he obviously badly needed!

"GERRY!"

Gerry came racing out of the kitchen.

"Betty! What's wrong?"

"Get Mike for me Gerry! Tell him Steve needs him!"

Gerry stood for a few seconds trying to figure out what was happening but a simple look from Betty told him that she needed him to get Mike right away! So without further delay he rushed upstairs to fetch Mike! Betty continued to try to cajole her patient.

"Steve! Gerry is gone to get Mike! You must believe me! He hasn't left! He's not upset with you! Please try to calm down! Everything's ok!"

The living room door opened and Betty marvelled at the speed with which Mike had arrived downstairs.

"BETTY! What's the matter?"

Steve had his eyes closed and was shaking violently and Betty wasn't sure if he was shaking from the fever or the upset of thinking that Mike had left him!

"He thought you left because you were upset with him. I can't convince him otherwise! You need to talk to him Mike! His fever is too high as it is and he's just working himself up into a worse state!

Betty moved sideways to allow Mike in closer to Steve. Mike knelt beside Steve and he placed a hand on the young man's arm.

"STEVE! It's Mike! Open your eyes buddy boy! I'm here! Look! I haven't gone anywhere!"

Mike's voice seemed to penetrate the fevered haze surrounding Steve and he shot his eyes open and seemed to stare at Mike for several seconds unsure if he could believe what his eyes were actually seeing!

"Mike?"

"Yes Steve ! It's me. See! I'm here!"

"You didn't ... leave?"

"No ... now why would I go and do a silly thing like that huh?"

Steve shivered violently again and Mike saw tears in the young man's eyes.

"Mike! ... I'm ... so sorry! I didn't mean ... to shout at you! I just felt ... so sick ..."

Steve was stopped from continuing as a rack of shudders tore through him and Mike leaned forward and placed a gentle hand on his forehead trying to calm the terrible shakes that were torturing the young man in front of him.

"I know ... I know Steve! It's ok! I'm sorry too! I shouldn't have pushed you to talk when you were so sick! It's alright. We're ok ... you and me! Look at me now! I need you to try to calm down! You're just going to make yourself feel worse! Ok?"

"You're not going to ... leave? Are you ... Mike? Like my ... parents ... and Harry!"

Mike heard Steve's words and felt a pang of deep sadness in his heart at the fears that his partner held, that under normal circumstances would never probably be ever voiced. He felt his own emotions fray and clearing his throat he spoke again.

"No Steve. I'm like a bad penny! Hard to get rid of! So I guess you're stuck with me! Huh?"

Steve tried to smile at that statement from Mike but he felt so cold! He couldn't stop himself from shivering and he felt so miserable.

"Mike ... I'm so ... cold!"

"I know you are buddy boy! It's the fever!"

Looking back at Betty for guidance as to when she could administer the next set of meds that would help him, Mike saw her looking worried.

"Not for another thirty minutes Mike!"

Betty's voice was full of emotion after watching the tender exchange between Mike and Steve. She was glad that they had reconciled their differences and happy that Steve would calm now under Mike's care, she went to get more tepid water to sponge her patient with. Mike knew he had to try to keep Steve distracted and calm for the next thirty minutes and then probably for another half hour before they finally kicked in so he suddenly had an idea!

"Steve, if I help you, can you sit up?"

Steve looked at Mike curiously, not sure what he was planning for him.

"Yeah ... I think so ..."

Mike held Steve's shoulders and sat him up and then sat himself down on the couch and pulled Steve back so that he was now leaning back against his own shoulder and he then placed one arm around Steve's chest.

"Now you know that I can't leave without you knowing! Are you ok like this?"

Steve managed a smile this time and nodded as best he could, feeling comforted by Mike's presence behind him. It reminded him of happier times as a child when he would fall asleep sometimes leaning against his Grandfather's shoulder on the swing seat out on his porch. Mike felt Steve visibly start to relax and although Mike could still feel the intense heat emanating from his partner, he was glad that at least he could be of some comfort to him.

Betty returned with the tepid water and smiled as she saw Mike and Steve. It reminded her of the many times that her son Mark had been ill and she would sit and keep him company on that exact same couch, just like the two men who sat there now. She wondered if one day her own son would sit with his new sons just like that someday too. Dragging herself from her thoughts and memories, Betty returned to nurse mode and hurried towards her patient. Mike saw her coming and exchanged a worried look with her!

"Betty, he feels like he's on fire!"

"I know Mike! His fever is sky-high ! Let's just see if sponging helps! "

While Betty sponged Steve's fevered brow, Steve just lay shivering with his eyes closed and Mike watched Betty tend to him. After ten more minutes she took his temperature again and while it had come down slightly it was not enough of a drop to make a significant difference so she made her decision.

"I'm going to give him his meds! They're twenty minutes early but he needs them!"

Prepping the necessary two syringes. One with ibuprofen and one with the antibiotic, first Betty had to check that the cannula was still viable! As she picked up his bandaged hand Steve visibly winced!

"Steve! Is your hand sore?"

"Steve nodded, almost gritting his teeth with the discomfort of where the cannula was situated.

Unwrapping some of the gauze, Betty noticed how red the skin was around the needle and also that there was a small amount of swelling and bruising around the site. Although the hand was sore looking she hoped that the vein itself was still holding for Steve's sake. He should only need these two shots and one more antibiotic shot at six am tomorrow so she prayed their luck would hold out. Knowing that the only way to check if it was viable would be to flush it out, she prepped a syringe and looking at Mike and managing to convey in just one look that this was going to be very uncomfortable for Steve, she then spoke sympathetically to the young man himself.

"I have to check the vein by flushing it to see if it's still viable. Steve! This may be a little sore, but we need this vein to hold out until tomorrow morning so I have to do this. I'm sorry. You might want to take a deep breath when I tell you to. Ok?"

Steve nodded but he was not looking forward to what she was about to do. Betty told him to take a deep breath and Steve did, but he felt awful pressure on the back of his hand as she pushed through the saline to check the vein. As she continued to flush the vein, it became more uncomfortable and Steve let out the breath he had been holding and gasped audibly. He felt Mike's hand tighten around his chest in sympathy and heard his words of encouragement in his ear.

"Ok Steve! Hold on. It's nearly over! "

When Betty had finished she smiled at the two men.

"Looks like our luck is still with us!" and without delay she quickly administered the two shots into the cannula.

While it was quite uncomfortable and sore, Steve got through it ok and was relieved that at least they would soon bring him some respite from the pain and the fever. Finally with the shots given, Mike encouraged Betty and Gerry to head off to bed. It was only then that Mike noticed the dressing on Gerry's head and was going to question him about it but seeing how exhausted they both looked, he decided that those questions would wait until the morning! Betty looked out on her feet but she dutifully reminded Mike that she would be back in three hours to take over the next shift and then Mike watched them both as they left, but not before Betty had told them to call her if they needed her!

When they were gone, Steve spoke through the shivers.

"They're really nice people ... Mike! Did you ... work with ... Gerry back home Mike?"

"Yes, for about five years. We were in black and whites back then."

"Tell me about ... that time Mike ... Please ..."

Mike could feel the terrible tremors that were racking through Steve's body and he knew that Steve desperately needed a distraction from the pain and discomfort he was in. If listening to Mike's stories from his days with Gerry was how Steve wanted to be distracted he would gladly oblige and so he started to tell Steve various stories from his and Gerry's time as partners. After twenty minutes, Mike felt Steve's trembling start to ease up but he started to squirm instead.

"Steve? What's wrong?"

"My stomachs really sore Mike! And my hand with the needle is throbbing like hell!"

"Sitting up probably isn't helping that! Let's get you lying down again."

Lifting Steve forward slighty, Mike stood up and then eased Steve back down on the couch and saw Steve cradling his left arm, the one that held the cannula.

"Is that any better?"

"Yeah, a little thanks."

Steve looked exhausted. It was very strange to see Steve so run down and worn out. Sure, after long shifts back home Steve would be sluggish and tired but he always had an innate energy about him that Mike always admired. However this bout of sickness had really knocked the young man for six. He was now lying back with his eyes closed as if he were resting them and he was licking his lips as if to try desperately to moisten them. It was then that Mike remembered that Steve hadn't managed to keep any fluids down yet so he found a new purpose! He had to get the boy to drink something!

"I'll go and get you some ice for that hand and something to drink. Your lips are getting very dry Steve, you're going to have to try to get some fluids into you!"

"No Mike! I can't keep them down! " Steve weakly protested but Mike was in determined mode again and headed for the kitchen.

Returning with a tall glass of cold soda with a straw in it and an icepack he sat down beside Steve and propped Steve up just enough that he could drink comfortably without lying too flat and then he wrapped the ice around the bandaged, needle bearing hand. Holding the straw up to Steve's lips he waved off Steve's protests and managed successfully to get him to drink half the glass by taking tiny sips every few minutes. Then seeing him struggle slightly, he gave him a break from it and put it back down on the coffee table. Reaching out and placing a hand on Steve's forehead, Mike smiled.

"You fever has come down. You might be able to get some overdue sleep ? What do you think buddy boy? You look worn out!"

Steve just nodded, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. Mike got up and turned on a lamp that was beside the arm-chair and turned off the main light in the room. The room darkened and with just the soft glow from the lamp, Mike reckoned it might help Steve to drop off to sleep but Steve's brain was racing too much. He was thinking about his Uncle Henry and how Mike seemed to desperately want to know exactly what had happened back then. In the lightly lit room, more comfortable than he had been of late and with the fever and the pain easing considerably Steve thought about telling his partner the whole ugly truth! For the first time in the last few days, he felt that maybe he just might be able to. He looked at Mike who was fussing with the light blanket that was covering him, pulling it up and straightening it out. Sitting finally back in his armchair, Mike sat back and spoke to his partner.

"You more comfortable now buddy boy?"

Steve nodded so Mike added "Ok, try to get some sleep. I'll be right here if you need me!"

Mike noticed how quiet Steve had become and was putting it down to exhaustion until moments later when Steve started to speak.

"Mike?..."

"Yes Steve ?"

"It didn't happen like you think with ... Henry ..."

Mike almost froze where he sat. Betty was right! In his own time and at his own pace Steve was going to tell him the truth. Not wanting to say or do anything to put Steve off, Mike decided to stay quiet and patient and just let Steve get the whole sorry tale, however horrific it might be, off his chest, so he merely answered.

"Ok ..."

"He ... didn't beat me Mike like Mrs. Richards said and he didn't lay a finger on me ... except for maybe ... two times ... but not like you're thinking! I swear Mike!"

"Ok buddy boy. If that's what you're telling me I believe you!" Mike merely stated comfortingly.

A few minutes silence ensued and Mike wondered if that was all Steve was going to say on the matter but Mike's silence and patience was rewarded seconds later when he spoke again.

"He was cruel Mike! ... He'd give you chores to do but not ... normal ones as a punishment if you defied him."

Mike swallowed hard, just now realizing how hard this was going to be to listen to quietly, without wanting to find out where this Henry lived and go punch his lights out! But he was determined to try his best to let Steve talk without interrupting so he merely answered.

"I see ... did you defy him Steve?"

"At the start, yes! I wanted to see my friends! He had forbidden me to hang out with them but ... I did anyway! I'd pretend to stay late in school. I made up different excuses ... science club, projects I had to finish but I was meeting the guys instead! But ... he found out!"

Mike could see Steve staring straight ahead of him from where he sat and knew he was probably reliving those memories in his head as he spoke about them. Something about the way Steve had said" he found out!" sent a cold shiver of dread through Mike's heart and he almost dreaded to hear what had been the consequence of that, especially seeing as Steve had mentioned the word "cruel" in his earlier description! Again he waited quietly for Steve to continue in his own time but Steve appeared to be having some difficulty continuing so he merely added.

"What happened Steve?"

In order to distract the young man from any embarrassment or reluctance he might have in continuing, Mike picked up the glass again and brought it to Steve's lips.

"Here, drink some more for me buddy boy!"

Steve sipped more, almost subconsciously , his mind still focussing on being able to tell Mike what had happened truthfully and having managed to drink another quarter of the glass, he swallowed hard and not catching Mike's eye he continued.

"He made me wash his car as a punishment ... but not just wash it. He said I had to polish it until he could see his face in it! It took me two hours Mike! My arms were killing me! When I went in to get him to show him ..." Steve stopped mid sentence and Mike wondered why! Struggling to get the next part of the story out Steve took several minutes and then he seemed to find the courage to continue ... " Mikey had thrown a bucket of dirt all over it while I was gone! When I brought Henry out and he saw it he was furious! He thought I was being smart! And he ... made me do it all over again and then sent me to bed without any dinner ... My hands were all blistered and Mikey thought it was really funny!"

"Steve! Where was Rose in all this? Why didn't she stop it?"

"She never knew about it. He always made sure she was out of the house or he'd send her to her friend's house or on some fools errand to make sure she was out of the house!"

"Didn't you tell him what Mikey had done?"

"I tried to! But he didn't believe me! Mikey was always the golden child as far as Henry was concerned! He thought I was just trying to get him into trouble!"

Mike grabbed the arm of the armchair and squeezed it until his knuckles went white! Steve's cousin Mikey sounded like he needed a slap upside the head almost as much as Steve's Uncle Henry! And Steve's Aunt Rose sounded like she spent most of her time with her head buried in the sand where her husband was concerned. But he bit back his anger at hearing that story and taking a deep calming breath he merely asked instead.

"Did you stop seeing your friends after that?"

Steve looked back at Mike from where he was lying and caught Mike's eye briefly and something in his eye seemed to be saying that he wished he had, but instead he shook his head sadly.

"No ... Henry had called their parents. He told them that I was forbidden from meeting them! Most of their mothers were scared of Henry so they told me when I'd drop by, that they were sorry but that it was for the best! All except Davey's mother! She said she wouldn't let "that" man decide who her son could be friends with! She still let me come over regularly ..."

Again Steve trailed off somewhat sadly. Mike decided in that instant that despite having never met her, he liked Mrs. Capshaw! However there was something about Steve's demeanor that made Mike fear that this second lot of encounters ended as badly as the first had. Almost dreading the answer he would get Mike tentatively asked.

"I take it Henry found out you were still going against his wishes. Huh?"

Steve nodded weakly and Mike was almost sure he saw moisture glistening in Steve's eyes in the glow from the lamp. Staying silent for a few seconds more and trying to decide if Steve was even up to continuing this story, Mike eventually spoke quietly, while placing a supportive hand on Steve's shoulder.

"What happened that time Steve?"

But Mike would wait at least ten more minutes while Steve pulled every ounce of courage and nerve he had together to recount the second punishment.


	20. Chapter 20

**Going Home**

Chapter 20

After ten minutes of silence had passed where Steve just lay staring at the wall ahead of him, Mike wasn't sure what he should do or say next. He was worried about the toll this sickness and these memories were having on his young partner and there was a new haunted look in Steve's eyes that deeply concerned him. Physically he also looked deathly pale, and Mike could see that the cannula was starting to really bother him as his right hand was now constantly holding the ice pack securely wrapped around his left hand, obviously glad of its numbing effect on the pain that was throbbing mercilessly through it. The silence eventually got to Mike and leaning forward to see if Steve's eyes were still open, he placed his hand on Steve's shoulder.

"Steve! Are you still with me?"

Steve moved slightly, startled by Mike's sudden touch and it brought him back out of his thoughts. Looking at Mike for a few seconds he realized that he had zoned out for a while and blushed, trying to remember what he had been saying before he had zoned out!

"Yeah ... sorry Mike! What was ... I saying?"

"Are you ok Steve?" Mike asked suddenly worried by Steve's forgetfulness, and wondering if the medications were causing a bad reaction. He reached out and felt Steve's forehead but didn't find any signs of a raised temperature.

"Yeah ... I'm ok Mike. Sorry ... I just got distracted. I was telling you about Henry wasn't I?" Steve said remembering how he was about to tell Mike about Henry's second choice of punishment.

"Steve! You look tired! If you don't want to continue this story right now ... you don't have to, you know? It's ok!"

Steve smiled at Mike, appreciating the fact that unlike the last time, that he wasn't pushing him to talk and Mike's patience and understanding gave him the strength he needed to continue.

"Thanks for that Mike! ... But I want to tell you ... I ... need to tell you!"

Mike squeezed Steve's shoulder, his eyes full of sympathy for Steve's dilemma. He knew that Steve needed to tell someone in order to come to terms with what had happened all those years ago but at the same time he could see how painful and difficult Steve was finding it.

"Ok, buddy boy! Just take your time!"

"When he ... found out that I was still visiting Davey he ... went ballistic! He ... found another chore for me to do! He waited again until Aunt Rose had gone to visit her friend out-of-town and he decided that the flower bed out the back needed some work done to it! He said that I was used to doing gardening with Harry and so it wouldn't be any trouble for me to do a little digging. He ... wanted it totally cleared and all the shrubs taken out of it! He said it would give me time to think about what happened when I didn't follow his house rules and behaved like a spoiled brat! ..."

Steve stopped momentarily as a solitary tear escaped from his left eye and he let go of his sore hand briefly and wiped it away. Mike noticed it and feared what was coming next. He was desperately trying not to react to Steve's stories negatively, choosing to allow Steve the time to get them off his chest, but it was getting harder to do, as he heard the innate cruelty that Steve had been subjected to at the hands of the so-called responsible adult who was supposed to be looking after him. Then as Steve remained silent trying to make the lump in his throat go away so that he could continue the sorry tale, Mike suddenly got a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach! He didn't quite know what had put the thought in his mind but he suddenly felt that he knew where this nightmare was going! Hoping he was wrong but feeling strongly that he wasn't, he spoke nervously to Steve.

"Buddy boy! What kind of shrubs were in that flowerbed that you had to take out?"

Steve whipped his head around to stare dauntingly at Mike, not sure how he could have known about that element of his story that he had only ever revealed to one person before! Curious, but somehow strangely glad that Mike had been so perceptive, he forced the two words out shakily from his dry lips.

"Rose ... bushes!"

This time tears escaped down both his cheeks as the grim part of this punishment had suddenly been partly revealed! Mike swallowed hard and was glad that he was sitting down, as the details of Henry's cruelty reached new sickening heights. Again his heart broke for Steve as he saw the tears free-flowing down his partner's cheeks but he forced his wavering voice to speak one more time, to confirm what he now dreaded was the stark reality of the situation that Steve had faced.

"I take it, he didn't let you wear gloves either. Did he Steve?"

Steve merely shook his head slowly, his gaze never leaving Mike's face despite the fact, that the tears meant, that all he saw now was a misty haze where his partner sat. He was relieved that Mike had correctly guessed what he had endured that day without having to elaborate, knowing that he wouldn't have managed to get the words out on his own. He remembered the stinging pain as the thorns had ripped at his arms and hands and the way he had refused to stop, even when his Uncle had come out many times and told him that he could stop the chore, if he promised to do what he was ordered to from then on! Out of pure stubbornness and hatred for his Uncle he had blocked out the pain and the torture the task had caused, solely just to try to prove that he couldn't be broken! But the memory of how he had paid for his stubbornness stayed embedded in his brain as the memory of his torn hands and forearms came to his mind and his blood stained shirt that had been taken from him and burnt in the open fireplace in case it had been discovered by his Aunt!

Mike gasped involuntarily as he pictured the sickening scene in his head. He covered his face with his free hand and continued to clasp Steve's shoulder supportively with the other. He could feel the rage building deep within his chest as he tried to fathom what kind of sick and twisted individual would subject a fifteen year old boy, who had just recently suffered the trauma of finding his treasured Grandfather dead, to such a cruel and horrific task. After a few minutes had passed while Mike struggled to control the rising anger he was feeling and Steve struggled to stop the upset that was causing him to lose control of his emotions, Steve managed to speak again this time more emotionally.

"He kept coming out ... and telling me I could stop Mike ... if I promised to obey his rules! But I didn't want him ... to win ... Mike! So ... I finished it ... I ...I couldn't let him ... break me!"

Mike shuddered at the thoughts of what state Steve must have been in after completing such an impossible task. He spoke, his voice breaking too, much to his own frustration.

"Steve! You must have been ... cut to ribbons!"

Again Steve nodded sadly and spoke through the tears that had resumed their mournful descent down his pale cheeks.

"Yeah, the blood was ... running down my arms and my shirt sleeves had turned red! When I finished I started to feel ... faint! I ... collapsed onto my knees ... Mike ! ... The pain was unreal!"

Mike saw Steve close his eyes, as if he was remembering the terrible pain and the sight of the multiple cuts and grazes on his arms and hands.

"What did Henry do?"

"I think he got ... scared Mike! He ran out and picked me up and ... dragged me back inside. He sat me in a kitchen chair and ... took off my shirt and burnt it in the fireplace! He was yelling at me ... He said that I was ... stubborn like Harry and ... stupid ... like ... my ... Dad! You know the really stupid thing? All I could think of was that Harry had bought me that shirt! Stupid huh? Anyway ...he ... dragged me over to the kitchen sink and ... made me put my arms into it! Then he left and came back ... with a first aid box and he poured antiseptic over them! God Mike, they stung like crazy and I ... I ... I passed out! ..."

Steve lost control again and a pained sob escaped his lips. He turned his head away from Mike as he struggled with the emotions the memory was raking up again, after all these years. Mike couldn't stand the inaction any longer and he knelt hurriedly down beside Steve and pulled Steve's head very gently towards his chest, despite Steve's protests out of embarrassment. The simple move by Mike caused Steve to break down for the third time in as many days and Mike held the young man as he felt his racking sobs of despair!

"There now! It's ok buddy boy! Let it out! No-one should ever be subjected to that! Shush now. You're alright! That man won't ever upset you again ... not while there's a breath left in these old bones!"

At those words, Steve stopped and lifted his head away from Mike and he looked the older man in the eye. He could distinctly see moisture in Mike's eyes too in the glow of the lamplight and then Mike spoke again more confidently this time.

"Steve, I know I'm not your father and I could never replace Harry, and well ... you know I'm no good at this mushy stuff but ... I guess what I'm trying to say is that you've become for all the world like a son to me and I will always be there for you and support you for as long as you want or need me to be! I ... well ... I care about you every bit as much as I do about my Jeannie and I just wanted to make sure that you knew that!"

Steve felt his heart ache and he couldn't believe how much it meant to him to hear Mike say those words. He had formed a strong bond of friendship with Mike over the last couple of years and Mike had become every bit as important to him in that time as Harry had been. While they had never voiced those feelings outwardly to each other before, it had been obvious to all those who knew them and in that moment Steve felt very lucky to have met Mike and to have gained such a loyal and supportive friend and role model at a time in his life when he had found himself totally bereft of any. He wasn't very good at expressing those feelings any more than Mike was so he merely stated shakily.

"I feel the same way about you Mike as I did about ... Harry ! You ... remind me of him ..."

Then as he couldn't bring himself to say another word without breaking down again he merely mouthed the words "Thanks Mike!" to finish conveying how he felt.

Mike smiled warmly at his partner and reaching out and clasping the back of Steve's neck affectionately as he often did, he shook the young man playfully and added.

"Just look at us, will you? A right pair of old misery guts! " and searching in his pockets he added "And not a clean handkerchief between us!"

This made Steve laugh nervously and it did Mike's heart good to see the smile on Steve's face however brief and forced it might have been. Deciding that he needed to help Steve over the upset a little he stood up and spoke warmly.

"It's time to get you to drink something else! Can I get you anything in particular?"

Steve was feeling very thirsty, and his lips felt dry and parched. Realizing that Mike was trying to defuse the situation for a while he nodded gratefully, glad of the respite and he went on to confess to Mike.

"Actually, I feel a bit shaky Mike ... would you be able to get me some of that sugared tea that you do so well please?"

Mike smiled again.

"You mean the one you haven't stopped complaining about since you got out of the hospital?" Mike teased and he watched as Steve blushed.

"Yeah ... That one!" Steve admitted smiling and realizing that Mike was right.

"Of course buddy boy! Your blood sugar must be very low at the minute. You take it easy and I'll be right back!"

"Ok ..." Steve said and he watched as Mike left the room and went into the kitchen and from where he lay on the couch he could hear the kettle boiling.

He lay back and while the tortured memories were still a little too vivid in his mind for his liking, he somehow felt better about them. Sharing them with Mike had helped him to come to terms with them a little better and having Mike there supporting him and yet not judging him was the icing on the cake. He lifted his right hand away from his sore one and noticed how badly it was shaking. He wondered if it was like Mike had said his blood sugar dropping very low or if it was the painful and upsetting memories that had him quivering uncomfortably. He concentrated on his breathing and managed to slow it down a little and as he closed his eyes and concentrated on taking long and slow breaths he found himself calming down considerably.

Mike returned less than ten minutes later with two warm cups of tea, Steve's considerably more sweetened than his own. As he approached the couch, in the dim light from the lamp, he saw that Steve had his eyes closed and wondered if the upset and strain of recounting Henry's atrocities had worn him out and sent him to sleep! Placing the two cups of tea down on the coffee table, he sat down wearily on the armchair and decided to check if indeed he was asleep! Placing a very light hand on Steve's shoulder he whispered.

"Steve?"

Not expecting a response from the even breathing that was making Steve's chest rise and fall, he startled unexpectedly when Steve's eyes flew open and he looked at Mike, not having heard his return.

"I thought you had fallen asleep for a minute there buddy boy!"

"No ... I was just resting my eyes and doing what Lenny told me about slowing down my breathing! Hey you know, that actually works?," Steve said sounding amazed.

Mike chuckled.

"Well, you know the Department doesn't pay him that much for nothing! He does actually know what he's doing!" Mike stated and then he continued. "Your tea's made! Do you want to sit up a little to drink it!"

"Yes please!"

"Here let me help you! If you damage that cannula, we'll be in trouble for your morning shot!" Mike announced urgently and coming over beside him he gently helped Steve lift himself into a sitting position. Handing him the cup and saucer, he stayed close, as the cup shook and a small bit of tea sloshed over the side of the cup onto the saucer due to the shaking of Steve's good hand.

"Oh, oh! " Mike said, taking the cup back off Steve."That's not going to work! You're shaking like a leaf buddy boy!"

And he checked Steve's forehead again just in case! Finding no rise in the young man's temperature, Mike put it down to the stress of the last hour and spoke again sympathetically.

"Here, let me help you!" and he held the cup up to Steve's lips as he sipped the warming and strangely comforting liquid. He made a face at the sweetness and Mike chuckled.

"Sugary enough?"

"Oh yeah!" Steve chuckled back but he still came back for more and before long he had managed to finish all the tea in the cup! Then he leaned back against the back of the couch and rested again.

"Thanks Mike! That was nice! I enjoyed that!"

Mike was thrilled that Steve had drunk the tea so willingly and seemed to be tolerating it better than all the other liquids that he had managed to drink before this. He hoped that it was a good sign that maybe the antibiotics were starting to do their job!

"You did good with that buddy boy!" Mike said, and putting the empty cup down on the table he picked up his own cup and sat back, and began to consume his too.

They sat in companionable silence for several minutes, both men somehow feeling comforted and at peace in the other's presence, here in the early hours of the morning. Mike glanced at his watch and saw that it was just two fifteen am. As they sat quietly, Mike thought about the few questions he still had about Henry and about the two incidents where Steve had admitted that Henry had "laid a finger on him" but he had no intention of pushing the issue any further for now, not wanting to see Steve so upset again. Sipping his tea, he looked over at Steve, who was lying back against the couch cushions staring blankly and wearily into space. He wondered if he was still thinking about the traumatic day he had just told Mike about or if he was just physically, mentally and emotionally drained. As Mike raised the tea-cup up to his lips to finish the last drop, Steve spoke again suddenly as if he had read Mike's mind.

"When I came to ... I was up in my bed. My hands and arms were heavily bandaged ... and Henry was sitting on the bed beside me ... just staring at me!"

Mike had startled a little at Steve's sudden statement and looking back at him he noticed the young man's eyes hadn't moved from the abstract, blank space he had been staring at. His expression, blank and hollow hadn't changed either and the only difference was that his lips were moving. Mike swallowed hard and felt that waking up to Uncle Henry staring at you would not be a very comforting sight! His gut instinct told him to stop Steve from continuing but his heart and mind wanted, no ... needed to know the whole truth. Before he could decide which he should listen to, Steve spoke again!

"He looked terrified Mike! I'd never seen him looking like that before !"

"Well of course he was terrified! What he made you do was tantamount to abuse Steve! He knew if you told or if you were seriously hurt he would be looking at jail time! "

Anger at Henry had gotten the better of Mike and he banged his cup and saucer down on the coffee table harder than he meant to, causing Steve to jump with the bang it made! Realizing that he had alarmed Steve with his sudden outburst and noticing Steve breathing a little heavier as a result, he sat up and placed a hand on Steve's arm.

"Oh I'm sorry buddy boy! I didn't mean to lose it like that and I didn't mean to startle you! That man just ... well he just ..."

Recovering from the sudden start, Steve patted Mike's hand in return not wanting him to feel guilty.

"I know, I know ... it's ok."

"No! No buddy boy it's not ok! I promised myself I wouldn't let my anger at that man interfere with you being able to open up and tell someone about what happened. It won't happen again. I promise. You say what you were going to say! But just let me ask you one thing first please?"

Steve nodded tentatively.

"Did that ... coward tell you not to tell anyone what really happened?"

Steve listened to the question and stayed looking at Mike. He was trying to read what the result would be of him telling Mike the truth! Mike seemed to read his expression and he squeezed Steve's arm.

"I promise. I'll stay calm no matter what the truth is!"

Steve smiled. He trusted Mike more than anyone and knowing his word was good, he nodded his head sadly and continued.

"He said if I told anyone what really happened he'd ... tell them I was beside myself with grief over Harry ... and that because of it I had ... " Steve had to stop for a few seconds as the implication of what he was about to relate sunk in! " that I had ... repeatedly cut myself ... with his ... razor!"

Steve rubbed at his eyes with his good hand determined not to let any more tears fall and he closed his eyes and breathed purposefully again. Mike felt like punching something, preferably Henry, but he had given his word so he cooled his temper with great difficulty and when he felt his voice would work without reflecting the blind rage he felt, he spoke calmly.

"So how did he explain it to ... Rose and everyone else in the end?"

Steve opened his eyes and looked down at his lap.

"He told them I was so traumatised and grief-stricken that he had found me digging up the garden without being aware of what I was actually doing. He even had the gall ... to tell Aunt Rose not to be mad at me! ... That I was to be pitied ..." Steve finished the sentence and sniffed audibly, finding it difficult to say any more as his heart ached from the pain of sharing it. He suddenly felt so exhausted that he felt light-headed. His eyes were red and sore and they felt tired and heavy. Mike spotted the change in the young man's demeanor and could see that he had endured enough for now. Forgetting his rage as he went back into paternal mode, he stood up and spoke firmly but compassionately.

"Come on! Let's leave it at that for now! It's time you got some sleep! Scooch down and try to get comfortable!"

Mike knew that word always drew a smile from his partner and this time was no different.

Raising a chuckle from Steve's lips, Steve added.

"Mike! I told you! No one uses that word any more!"

"Ok hotshot! What would you rather I say huh? How about? Would you please position your posterior into a more horizontal position?"

This made Steve laugh out loud, holding his sore stomach as he did! Mike felt pleased that he had managed to at least make Steve laugh after the tension and the misery of Steve's recent voluntary revelations.

"Ok Mike!" Steve said between laughs." You win! You can say "Scooch!"

This made Mike laugh.

"Ok funny guy. Come on! Stop laughing or you're going to hurt that already sore stomach of yours! Now scooch when I tell you to!"

"Ok..." Steve giggled and as Mike held his bandaged hand carefully with one hand and put his other hand under Steve's knee with the other he told Steve to scooch and Steve dutifully obliged and was soon lying flat again. Mike covered him with a light blanket and then sat down beside him again.

"Now close your eyes and try to sleep. Ok buddy boy?"

"Steve had stopped laughing and closed his eyes as requested but as soon as he did, visions of blood soaked shirts, cut arms and Henry's face made him open them just as quick! Looking at Mike and trying not to look overly disturbed, Steve instead turned and said to Mike.

"Mike, actually I don't think I feel like sleeping just yet!"

But Mike had seen how quick he had opened his eyes and already figured what the problem was!

"Nice try buddy boy! You need to get some rest! Now do as I say! Come on! Trust me now!"

Steve again stared at Mike and the trust between them spoke for itself so he nodded reluctantly and answered.

"Ok ... what do you want me to do?"

"First close your eyes and keep them closed and then listen to me carefully! Can you do that?"

"Ok ... I'll try!" Steve said sighing heavily and closing his eyes but as the unpleasant visions came to him he fought the urge to open them again, doing his best to trust Mike that he knew what he was doing!

"That a boy! Keep them closed now! Now I want you to think about last Monday night back in San Francisco, when for the first time ever you beat me at bowling. Remember? "

With his eyes still closed he spoke, smiling at that memory.

"Mike that didn't count. I know you let me win!"

"I did no such thing! You won fair and square!"

"Mike! You missed the lane completely three times in a row! You NEVER do that!"

"My aim was off! It happens! Ok, never mind that for now! Next I want you to think about how back in San Francisco, there is a mother and child that are still alive and well thanks to you and what you did! Remember how you got little Ruby to talk again and how you both really enjoyed my clown routine!"

Mike was watching Steve carefully as he spoke and he saw a smile play on Steve's lips as he mentioned his clown routine. Mike really hoped that Steve was remembering those happy times instead of the ones he had just been dwelling on, at least that was what he was trying to get him to do.

"You make a good clown, Mike! Especially your juggling!" Steve added and Mike felt that it was working!

"Thanks buddy boy! Now I want you to remember the campsite! Remember how peaceful it was Steve? Remember the sound of the river flowing and the way the wind whistled through the trees? Remember the night sky Steve? And all those stars! Do you remember how you said they reminded you of Harry and all the happy times you spent stargazing? Think of how quiet ... and peaceful ... and soothing it was Steve!"

Mike lowered his voice and spoke softer as he finished speaking and he noticed that Steve had gone very quiet. He was breathing evenly and slowly and Mike smiled to himself, proud that his plan had worked. Leaning forward he whispered very quietly.

"Steve!" but the young man never budged.

Mike leaned back in his chair and settled comfortably into the seat. As he watched over the sleeping form of his partner, he began to replay all the things Steve had told him and he vowed that somehow before this weekend was over he would make things right for Steve in true Mike Stone style and he would get an apology from Henry no matter what it took!


	21. Chapter 21

**Going Home**

Chapter 21

Mike was still sitting in the armchair trying to come to terms with the horrendous ordeal that Steve had endured as a child, at three thirty am, when the living room door opened and Betty appeared into the room wrapped in a pink dressing gown. Walking quietly over to where Mike was sitting she glanced at the peaceful looking form of Mike's partner and smiled at Mike.

"Looks like we're finally winning the war! Has he been asleep for long?"

"No, not really. Just over an hour now but he's hardly moved and he managed to drink a cup of tea before he went! "

"Oh, that's great! The more fluids we can get into him for the moment the better! "

She walked very tentatively over to her patient and very lightly placed a hand on his forehead so as not to wake him and was pleased to feel that his forehead was still cool to the touch. She glanced back at Mike smiling, knowing that he must be thrilled to see Steve gradually improving but instead she saw him looking very troubled, deep in his thoughts. Turning her concern to Mike she walked over and sat in the armchair beside him.

"What's the matter Mike? You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders? You're not still worried about him are you? Because if you are, I can assure you that ..."

Before Betty could finish her reassurances that Steve would be fine, Mike spoke again.

"He ... told me about his Uncle!" Mike said in a very unsteady voice.

Mike said it in such a daunting way that Betty felt butterflies in her stomach. Almost afraid of the answer she might receive , she managed to pluck up the courage to ask.

"Was it ... what you thought?"

"No ... not that bad ... but bad enough! It just makes me so MAD!"

Mike's last word came out a little louder than he had intended it to, mainly due to the intense rage that was manifesting itself deep in his gut at the suffering that Steve had so unfairly and undeservedly endured all those years ago. Steve fidgeted and moved slightly in his sleep and Mike and Betty stayed completely still, hoping that Steve would stay asleep and get the rest he so desperately needed. Betty could see how enraged and upset Mike was so standing up quietly she reached out and took Mike's hand and whispered softly.

"Come on into the kitchen Mike so we can talk without waking him!"

Mike nodded, stood up and followed Betty into the kitchen. She turned on the light and Mike blinked as his eyes adjusted to the bright light, having just come from the darkened living room. He sat down wearily at the kitchen table.

"You, my dear friend need one of my special and famous hot chocolates!" Betty announced fetching milk from the refrigerator and a saucepan from the cupboard.

"Hmmm ... That sounds nice!" Mike said rubbing at his tired eyes.

As Betty busied herself at the stove, they both heard light footsteps and both looked over at the kitchen door, fearing that maybe Steve had woken however when the door opened, Gerry appeared through it, yawning and looking like hell on earth.

"Is this a private party or can anyone join in?" he announced sleepily, stretching his arms behind his back.

Betty laughed at her husband's humour and answered back.

"You must have a radar that always senses when I'm making hot chocolate dear!" and she laughed again.

"Ooh, hot chocolate! Count me in!" Gerry said sitting down opposite Mike and rubbing at his temple gingerly.

Mike looked up at Gerry and remembered that he hadn't asked about Gerry's injury as he winced at the ugly bruise that was now spreading around where the dressing was.

"What happened last night Gerry?" He asked, his voice full of concern but also glad of the distraction of not having to dwell on his hatred and anger towards Steve's Uncle Henry.

"Oh, just the usual Mike. Our local resident drug users shooting up and generally making a nuisance of themselves! However they were a little extra feisty last night and I was a little slower on my feet than usual!"

"What hit you?"

"Your namesake! A stone! Although I must admit it felt more like a boulder at the time!"

The two men laughed at that and just then Betty came over and placed three cups of steaming hot chocolate on the table lovingly topped with marshmallows and cream! Betty smiled to herself as she saw the two men's eyes light up when they saw them! As Betty sat down beside the two men she placed a gentle hand on Gerry's chin and eyed up the dressing and the bruise.

"How's the head?" she asked.

"Not too bad, just a little sore! But I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd come down and see how things were down here. How's the boy doing?"

At the mention of Steve, again Mike's demeanor changed to one of deep sadness for Steve and anger towards his tormentor. Looking down at his hot chocolate and frowning, Betty piped up instead.

"He's showing improvement. His temperature is staying down, he managed to keep some fluids down and he's finally sleeping! So it looks like he's over the worst. Thank God!"

"That's good news!" Gerry said but he noticed that Mike wasn't as pleased as he would have imagined he should be so he glanced at his wife and they exchanged a concerned glance between them. Then suddenly Mike spoke still not looking up from his cup!

"He ... told me what happened with his Uncle!"

Gerry sucked in a deep breath suddenly understanding his good friend's demeanor. Choosing his words carefully he said.

"Oh ... was it as bad as you had feared?"

"No ... but it was bad enough!" and with that he went on to recount the sad sorry tale to his two friends at the table, swearing them to secrecy, and with his voice wavering a couple of times before he had finished.

Betty and Gerry had listened quietly, with only the occasional gasp from Betty breaking the silence. As he finished his account, Betty had tears in her eyes and she spoke emotionally.

"Oh Mike! The poor boy! How can anyone be so cruel to a child like that!"

Gerry, while his heart broke for Steve, was currently more concerned about the deep resentment and anger in Mike's eyes. A look he remembered seeing in his eyes years before, when they worked together and a look that only ever meant one thing... a thirst for justice and atonement! So reaching out he placed a hand on Mike's arm and spoke firmly.

"I don't think I like that look in your eye Mike! Now I hope you're not considering paying that guy a visit because while I am in full agreement with you that for what that jerk did to Steve, he should be hung up and dangled by his feet off the Golden Gate bridge ... Well, you know as well as I do that ultimately what happened back then is his word against Steve's and a lot of time has passed too Mike!"

Mike looked up at his friend and smiled, grateful for his concern and comments and painfully aware of the legal situation as regards Henry's actions all those years ago.

"Relax Gerry! While I was thinking about it all a while ago I just realized that I don't even know the guy's second name OR where he lives! I know he married Rose Keller and that his name is Henry and that's about all I know so far!"

"Well, I can't say I'm not happy about that Mike! You need to leave it well enough alone for now and just concentrate on helping that young man in there get over what happened! Ok?"

"Yes, I hear you Gerry. You're right! Steve has to be the number one priority right now but so help me Gerry, if I do meet him you better be there to pull me off him!"

Gerry smiled at that statement.

"Well, if that's the case, then for all our sakes I hope I am!"

As the three friends drank their hot chocolate and chatted some more, Betty thought she heard something and called on the two men to be quiet for a moment. Then in the silent kitchen the sound reached all their ears at the same time.

"MIKE!"

It was Steve! Betty and Mike were the first two to race from the kitchen and they found Steve awake and half sitting up, distressed and cradling his left hand, pain written all over his face!

"My God! Steve! What's wrong? Is it your hand?" Mike asked kneeling beside him but also allowing Betty room to kneel beside him too, knowing her medical support was needed in this situation aswell as his calming presence.

Steve nodded and spoke through gritted teeth.

"Yeah ... hurts really bad! I think ... it's swelling! Can't feel my fingers!"

At this statement, Betty quickly went into action and started issuing instructions.

"Mike! Hand me my bag please? It's down beside the armchair! " Then as Mike handed her the bag urgently she gently unwrapped the last icepack from Steve's hand and yelled again "Gerry! Here take this and get me another ice pack please and could you turn on the main light aswell. Thank you!"

Gerry turned on the light and Steve shut his eyes against the bright light that assaulted them, covering them with his good hand.

Next Betty put on medical gloves and carefully started to unwrap the bandage and the gauze from around where the cannula was situated and Mike saw her frown as Steve's swollen hand and fingers were revealed. A massive purple bruise had spread from where the needle was, over the back of his hand and up towards his wrist! As Betty gently held the spot where the needle was, Steve almost jumped off the couch with the pain that shot through his hand and up his left arm from the wrist! He almost bit his lip, holding back the yell that he desperately wanted to release and his breath was coming in ragged gasps as he feared what was coming next.

As Betty probed the area as gently as she could, Steve felt physically sick from the pain and Betty could feel the tension and the distress emanating from her patient.

"Ok Steve! I'm sorry! I can see how bad it's hurting. The vein has blown! I'm going to have to take it out so we can start getting the swelling down! Once the needle is out it won't hurt as bad, I promise! Now take a big deep breath for me!"

As Steve sucked in a panicked deep breath, he kept his eyes shut tight and he felt Mike's hand firmly on his left shoulder, offering some comfort and support. He felt the needle being eased out painfully and a strange feeling washed over him. The nausea increased and his head swam slightly. Strange pulsating lights flashed in front of his closed eyes and the voices he had heard now sounded like they were coming from the next room. He very faintly heard Mike's voice raised and he was yelling something! He strained to make out the words but they seemed to be fading even as he listened. "Betty! ... something's wrong! ... Steve!... STEVE! ..." That was all he heard before he felt the blackness wash over him and he couldn't fight it anymore.

As Betty had pulled the needle out, Mike had watched with great concern, his partner's face. At first he had read pain there and felt the tension in his partner's shoulder but then very quickly, Steve's shoulder had slumped and Mike had watched the colour drain from his partner's face! Alarmed, he drew Betty's attention to what had happened and she feared that the young man had passed out! Unfortunately as the needle had come out, blood had started to free flow from the wound so her first priority was to stop that first! With the amount of swelling and bruising present she also felt that at the moment, it was a blessing in disguise that Steve was not conscious to suffer the pain of her ministrations!

Having taped up the needle puncture point and quickly redressing the wound lightly, she spoke comfortingly to Mike, who was in a state of panic trying to rouse the young man in front of him!

"Mike! It's alright! He's just passed out! He'll come around in a minute when the pain eases!"

Mike was breathing rapidly from the shock of Steve's sudden loss of consciousness as Gerry arrived in and handed the new icepack to his wife. Seeing Mike in such a state, he gently clasped Mike's shoulders and helped him stand and then firmly sat him down into the armchair.

"Mike, sit down and take it easy. Betty has this under control! Ok? He'll be alright!"

As Gerry administered to Mike, Betty attended to Steve. With the needle out, the hand dressed and iced, she took Steve's pulse which was very slow and then she took his blood pressure which was also very low. She then gently held his face in her hands and spoke.

"Steve! Steve! Come back to us! Can you hear me Steve? Open your eyes now! It's all over. You need to look at me now!"

Mike sat anxiously watching Betty trying to rouse his partner and he felt the anxiety and stress of the last few days drain him badly. He felt his hands starting to shake and within seconds Gerry appeared with a small mouthful of brown liquid in a glass and was pushing it towards his lips to get him to drink some.

"Here Mike, drink this! It will settle you a bit!"

Mike took the glass off Gerry and he drank it back, making a face as he did as the strong-tasting brandy hit the back of his throat. He looked at Gerry and nodded gratefully and then he turned his attention back to Betty and Steve.

It took several minutes for Betty to rouse him but with persistence and a cool compress that Gerry had brought, Steve's eyes eventually fluttered back open. He looked slightly confused and dazed at first and seemed to stare at Betty for a few seconds, as he appeared to be trying to comprehend what she was telling him.

"Welcome back to us Steve. Take it nice and easy now! You passed out on us! Your blood pressure dropped very low and your hand was very swollen and painful so I had to take the needle out! I think you're badly dehydrated Steve. I think that's mainly what caused you to pass out! Are you ok or are you still feeling a little flaky?"

It seemed to be taking him a little while to answer which only served to make Mike more anxious but then he spoke somewhat shakily.

"No ... I feel very thirsty and ... a little shaky ... Sorry! "

"Do you think if we help you to sit up, that would be alright?"

Steve nodded very carefully, still feeling light-headed.

"Alright, very slowly this time ok?"

Mike placed his glass down on the coffee table and stood up to help Steve and between him and Betty they sat him up very carefully. As they sat him up, Mike accidentally brushed off Steve's sore hand and he yelped in pain.

"Ow! Easy Mike, watch the hand!"

"Oh, I'm sorry buddy boy. Is it that sore?"

Steve breathed deeper and nodded, holding it now as if to protect it from further incident.

"Steve, we need to get some fluids into you, and as your veins are so bad an IV is out of the question so I want you to try to drink a glass of something sweet, every half hour for the next five to six hours! Do you think you can manage that? How is the nausea?" Betty asked still concerned about how pale and washed out the young man appeared to be and how his lips looked so dry and parched.

"It's still there a little but it's not too bad. I'll try to drink as much as I can!"

Mike who had remained silent staring at the young man, then spoke.

"Steve! Do you think you can stomach another cup of Mike Stone sweet tea? Huh?"

Steve nodded, feeling that at least the sweet tea might make him feel less shaky. Mike went off to fetch it while Betty continued checking her patient's vital signs. Within just a few minutes, Mike returned and helped Steve drink some of the tea, making sure that he took small sips and not large mouthfuls to avoid the nausea being a problem. As Gerry and Betty hovered in the background, Mike saw how tired they both looked and spoke firmly.

"Why don't you two try to get some more sleep! I'll stay with Steve and make sure he drinks every half hour just like you said! I'm not very sleepy so I can manage it!"

Gerry stifled a yawn, and Betty herself felt rather drained so studying Mike she replied.

"Are you sure Mike? I think it was my turn to watch him."

"Yes, I'm positive. Go on now! No use in all of us staying up all night. If I need you I'll call you, I promise!"

"Ok, Mike thanks! " and then turning and placing a supportive hand on Steve's shoulder she added "And you young man , make sure you drink plenty, Ok?"

Steve nodded and watched as Betty and Gerry made their way back out of the room and back upstairs. Then turning to Mike he drank more of the tea that Mike was offering and could almost see the tiredness and worry that he was causing the older man, etched on his face.

"Sorry Mike ... for all this!" and he lowered his head wearily.

Mike grabbed his chin and lifted it gently back up.

"Now, now, it's ok! We just need to get you to drink a good bit before the morning. Do you want to try to go back to sleep and I'll wake you every half hour?"

Steve shook his head.

"No, I don't want to sleep. I keep ... replaying things in my head Mike ..."

Mike watched Steve, slightly taken aback by his sudden confession.

"Were you dreaming about what we ... talked about earlier?"Mike asked cautiously.

Again Steve nodded somewhat sadly and added.

"And other things ... There was one more ... incident after the last one I told you about ..."

Mike felt his blood almost freeze in his veins at Steve's words and he was almost afraid to hear what it was but here Steve was opening up about it and he knew he had to let him talk it out so he listened quietly and let Steve continue uninterrupted ...

"I think that incident scared him badly Mike and he left me alone for a good while after that. He ... still shouted a lot, you know, said some mean things but there no more "special" chores as he called them. But then about two months after, we were having dinner. Aunt Rose had gone to a neighbour's house a few houses up the street. She used to help an elderly lady that lived there with some chores and stuff. Anyway, Henry started saying things ... mean things about my Dad and Mikey kept laughing ..." Steve trailed off slightly as if the taunting he had used was replaying in his head and Mike's heart ached for the young man.

"What .. was he saying about your Dad, Steve?"

Steve seemed to swallow hard as if the words were really spiteful and hurt him a great deal.

"Henry kept saying that my Dad was probably at fault the night of the accident and that he was probably driving too fast in his fancy car! Then he kept saying how bad they looked afterwards and how he could barely recognize them ... at the Morgue ... He said my Mom's face was ..." Steve couldn't continue as he thought about his Mom and how beautiful she had been and how he really hoped that they hadn't suffered too much. He felt tears building and the lump in his throat growing bigger, threatening to choke him.

Mike was horrified by how low Henry had stooped to cause upset to his nephew and squeezing Steve's shoulder supportively he spoke, his own voice giving away the anger and the disgust he was feeling.

"Alright, take it easy! I get the picture! Boy, that Uncle of yours is some piece of work huh? What happened next Steve?"

Steve took a few moments to try to clear his mind of the horrific images his memories had evoked and then clearing his throat he continued his story.

"I couldn't take it anymore Mike! ... I left the table and ran up to my room and I ... started throwing things in a bag. I had to get out of that house! I didn't even know where I was going , just ... away."

"What did Henry do?" Mike asked getting anxious about where this story was heading.

"He came up after me! He was yelling for me to go back downstairs and finish my dinner. He saw me packing my stuff and told me to stop! But I was too mad Mike! I don't where exactly I found the courage from because I was shaking like a leaf but ... I told him that he wasn't my father, or my Grandfather and that he was ... he was ... just a sad man who got his kicks from picking on kids! ... "

Mike felt a lump form in his own throat knowing that Henry would not have taken the harsh truth well and fearing in that moment for Steve's well-being but he couldn't help but feel proud of the young man at the same time for standing up to the tyrant none the less.

"Did he ... did he hit you for saying that?"

Steve nodded, as a tear escaped from his left eye.

"He ... floored me! I didn't even see it coming! I guess I should have ... My face was stinging from the slap and I was a little dazed but I grabbed my bag and managed to dodge past him and ran for the stairs. He ran after me ..."

Mike could picture the scene in his head and worried about what was coming next. He prayed that Henry hadn't beat him badly but then he remembered how his arm had been seen in a sling and feared the worst. He didn't want to keep asking questions though, seeing how difficult telling Mike about this particular incident was for Steve, so he waited patiently for Steve to continue.

"I made it to the top of the stairs ... when he caught up with me. He was yelling for me to stop and to come back but I had to get away from him ... he made a grab for me but he missed ... and hit off my back instead ... I ... lost my footing Mike! ... "

Mike sucked in his breath as the stark realization hit him. He stammered.

"You ... you fell down the stairs?"

"Yeah, I took quite a tumble. I hit my head on the way down and then I ... landed very badly on my left shoulder. The pain was terrible and all I could see was him coming down after me! I yelled at him to ..."

"Leave you alone ! That he'd done enough!" Mike continued and Steve turned and looked at Mike in horror wondering how in the world Mike could have known what he had said!

"How ... how did you know what I said?"

Mike patted his shoulder.

"You were yelling that yesterday when your fever was very high!"

Steve slumped, fearing what else he had yelled.

"Oh ..." was all he managed to say.

"What happened then Steve? Were you badly hurt?"

"I remember hearing the front door open and Rose screaming! Then I must have blacked out. I came to at the hospital. I'd broken my collarbone and my arm just above the elbow and they said I had a concussion and had five stitches to a cut over my left eye and my cheek was badly bruised..."

Mike squirmed where he sat, the fact that Henry had been the main cause of Steve's horrific injuries eating away at his insides and consuming him with a desire to push Henry down a flight of stairs and see how he fared! Also the fact that the bruising to Steve's face that Henry had caused by the blow he had struck, now conveniently disguised by the fall, irking him greatly too.

"Don't tell me. When you woke up you had another Uncle Henry welcoming committee huh? He probably warned you about telling the truth again. Am I right?" Mike asked but was almost a hundred percent sure he would be!

"Yeah, you're right. He told me he hadn't meant for me to ... fall down the stairs and that if I told what happened that they'd take me into foster care and I'd end up God knows where! He said that I could end up worse off and that it was better for me to tell them I fell just like he'd already told them! He said ... if I told them that, he'd leave me alone from then on ..."

"What did you do buddy boy? What did you tell them?"

"I told them ... I fell ! I couldn't face going off to another strange place Mike! I remembered something Harry told me once about " better the devil you know that the one you don't ..." I know I should have told the truth but I ... I was scared Mike. He ... he scared me ..."

More tears fell down Steve's face as he finished the story, and he wiped them away with his good hand, feeling so ashamed that he had not stood up his tyrant of an Uncle and basically let him away with everything he had done on him! Mike felt sorry for Steve and knew he was feeling bad about not telling on Henry but he also understood why he had kept quiet. He was only a child still and had changed homes due to such tragic circumstances so many times that he could see how another change would be devastating to the young boy and fear was a terrible thing. Having already proven what a nasty enemy he would make, Mike didn't blame him for trying to keep on Henry's good side.

"Steve! I'm so sorry you had to go through that! No child should have to live with that! Or have to stay quiet about things like that either! ... but I understand why you did."

Steve had thought that maybe Mike would be disappointed in him for keeping quiet as Mike was such a strong character that he figured that he would never have allowed someone like Henry to treat him like Steve had. But hearing that he understood somehow made it easier for Steve. He smiled weakly at Mike grateful for his understanding and for listening too.

"Did he keep his word buddy boy?" Mike asked almost fearful of the answer.

Steve nodded wearily, feeling that telling this latest story had taken all the strength he had left.

"Yeah, things died down after that. I tended to keep out of his way especially when Aunt Rose was out of the house. I just kept my head down but I tell you Mike the day I left for college ..."

Mike smiled.

"Best day ever huh?"

"Yeah .."

"Did you ever see Davey afterwards?"

"Once! We met by accident shortly after I got out of the hospital. I was waiting in the car for Aunt Rose to come out of the market and he was walking by! I called him and he asked me what happened and I told him. He was the only one apart from you now that I ever told the truth about it to ... He said that it was probably best for us not to hang out anymore ... that he didn't want me to get hurt again so we said goodbye and ... I never saw him again."

Steve seemed to slump back against the pillows and Mike could see the fatigue and sadness written all over his face.

"You look tired buddy boy! Here drink a glass of soda for me and then you should try to go back to sleep. I'll wake you later to drink some more. Ok?"

Steve just nodded and dutifully drank the glass Mike gave him. Then with Mike's help he lay back down and within minutes the exhaustion had washed over him and sent him back to sleep. As he slept, Mike covered him lightly with the blanket, made sure his sore hand was over the covers and out of harm's way and checked his forehead for any signs of fever. Finding none he went over and turned off the main light again and sat back down in the armchair and sat watching Steve. The only sound in the room was the ticking of the mantel clock and the sound of Steve's soft breathing and Mike checked his watch and seeing that it was now just gone five am he settled back in the comfy chair and waited for the next time he had to wake Steve. Thoughts of Uncle Henry filled his mind and he suddenly wished that Lenny was here so he could ask him what could possibly possess a man like that to be so cruel to a defenseless child who had already suffered so much. The only thing he could think of was the constant taunts about Steve's Dad. Perhaps there had been a certain amount of jealously involved of his brother-in-law and perhaps even some deep resentment that unfortunately due to tragic circumstances he had then proceeded to inflict on the next best thing, the man in question's unsuspecting son! All these theories filled his head as the minutes ticked slowly by ...


	22. Chapter 22

**Going Home**

**A/N : Thank you to all those who read, followed and reviewed the last few chapters of this story. I always wish I had the time to message you all personally and thank you but RL has not been kind of late and I never seem to get the chance but please know that you all have my sincere heartfelt thanks!**

**Here is the next chapter which is another extremely long one! Apologies! My muse is constantly talking to me and some of the chapters just seem to end up this length! But I do hope you can find the time to read it and enjoy it anyway!  
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Chapter 22

Mike woke Steve every half hour from then until just before eight am and managed to get him to drink a small glass of soda each time successfully. Steve being so exhausted, had no trouble falling back to sleep each time. But at eight o'clock when he roused Steve for his next drink, he wasn't as cooperative.

"Oh Mike ... no more drinks ... just want to sleep!" Steve said very drowsily and turned his face further into the pillow away from Mike.

"Come on now sleepy head! You heard what Betty said. You need to drink a little and often! " Mike coaxed.

"No Mike! Please! I can't drink anymore ... just need to sleep!"

Mike smiled at his partner and watched as he burrowed his face even further into the back of the couch in the hope that Mike would leave him in peace. Deciding that he had drunk quite a bit in the last three hours, Mike gave in and pulling the covers up over Steve he patted his shoulder.

"Ok, you win! Sleep for now! But you'll need to drink this when you wake up!"

Steve half nodded sleepily and fell quickly back to sleep. Mike smiled again. Then he yawned and stretched, feeling the strain of the long, anxious and sleepless night he had just endured. Deciding that he would treat Gerry and Betty to a nice breakfast of pancakes as a thank you for all their help and hospitality he made his way out to the kitchen, stopping just once in the doorway to look back at his partner. Steve seemed to be very restful and for that Mike was very thankful. And before long Mike was mixing batter and cooking up a storm in the kitchen.

Just before eight forty-five, Betty arrived downstairs and quietly went over to the couch. Seeing Steve sleeping peacefully, she very gently checked his forehead for fever and his hand for any further sign of bleeding and to check the swelling, which had thankfully come down considerably. Satisfied that he was doing alright she heard sounds coming from the kitchen and made her way towards the kitchen door. As she approached a wonderful smell wafted out and as she entered she smiled as she saw Mike working busily at the stove and a huge pile of pancakes stacked beside him.

"Wow! Well this is a treat Mike! You have been busy!"

Mike turned and saw Betty and smiled back.

"Good morning! I hope you don't mind me using your kitchen and your ingredients but I just wanted to treat you both to breakfast to say thank you for all your help and hospitality! I don't know what I would have done without you and Gerry yesterday!"

"For a treat like this you can use my kitchen anytime Mike! And besides I told you we were only too glad to be able to help. You helped us a lot back in San Francisco, Mike. I dread to think what would have become of us if we had stuck it out there! This move was the best decision we ever made and it was you who gave us that idea! So thank you Mike!"

Mike smiled.

"You know that's funny! Gerry said exactly the same when I tried to thank him! Ok, well I hope you're hungry because I got a little carried away here! "

Betty eyed up the stack of pancakes and laughed.

"So I see! But don't worry what ever's left I'm sure the other guys at the ranger station will gladly take off our hands!"

Pulling out a chair while Mike dished her up pancakes and juice, Betty made idle conversation.

"Steve seems to be getting a good sleep! Did he drink much for you ?"

"Yes, he did very well. I got one cup of tea and ..." Mike was working out how many glasses he had got Steve to drink in his head and then finally added " ... and six glasses of soda up to eight o'clock. After that he was too tired so I let him sleep."

"Well that's very good Mike. You were right to let him sleep! Sounds like you got enough fluids into him for the time being. Was he sick anymore?"

"No ... and he didn't even say he was feeling sick. I take it that's a good sign?"

"Yes, I definitely think he's turned the corner. He's due antibiotics but I think if he's tolerating the soda then we'll pick up his prescription and start him on the antibiotic tablets instead."

"Knowing Steve as well as I do, he'll be thrilled not to have any more needles! That's for sure!"

Betty smiled and as Mike sat down and joined her the two enjoyed their breakfast and chatted about Helen, Jeannie and Betty's kids and Grandkids. They were still chatting away when Gerry joined them at around nine fifteen. Treated to a plate of pancakes by Mike, Gerry wolfed them down gratefully, inquired about Steve and then went to pick up Steve's prescription before he headed for work as per his wife's instructions.

After he left, Mike continued to chat to Betty.

"Listen Betty, You've both been very good to us but I thought that maybe if Steve is feeling better later, I'd head back to the campsite and gather up our stuff and check us both into a motel for the rest of our stay. We've imposed on you both long enough!"

"MIKE STONE! You'll do no such thing! Gerry can bring you over there later to collect your stuff and you'll come right back here and stay with us for the rest of your stay as long as Steve doesn't mind bunking on the couch again! Besides at least then I can keep a medical eye on Steve and make sure he's continuing to improve. You're not imposing at all! You mustn't think of it like that. Why you're practically family!"

"Betty, really you don't have to ..."

"Mike! The subject is closed! You're both staying and that's final!"

Before Mike had a chance to say anymore, the door opened and a voice chimed in.

"I wouldn't argue with her if I were you, Mike! She's a strong-willed woman! That's why I married her!"

Gerry came though the door, smiling at Mike and Mike chuckled.

"Ok, thanks a lot. I really appreciate it!" and then stretching the muscles in his lower back he added. "I can't say I'm sorry not to spend another night in that tent ! Camping seemed to be a lot easier the last time I tried it!"

Everyone laughed at that and then Gerry handed the pharmacy bag to his wife.

"Here's Steve's meds sweetheart! Now I really need to head off. I have to go in and type up those reports about what happened last night."

"Ok, thanks honey. Will you be home for lunch?"

"Yes, I'll swing by around two o'clock and I'll drop Mike up to get his stuff and his car then! Thanks for the delicious pancakes Mike! See you later you two!"

Gerry kissed Betty affectionately on the cheek and patted Mike's shoulder and then he headed out the door to work.

"Have you to go to work today Betty?" Mike asked afraid that they may have made her late.

Then he found himself starting to yawn and couldn't stop himself. The heavy breakfast and the sleepless night now truly catching up on him. Betty smiled sympathetically.

"No, I'm off today so why don't you go back upstairs and catch up on some sleep. I can watch Steve."

"Sleep sounds good! Thanks Betty ... for everything!" and Betty watched as he yawned his way out of the kitchen and upstairs to bed.

Looking at the clock in the kitchen she saw that it was just gone ten am so she decided to tidy up and wash up the breakfast dishes but first she went quietly in to check Steve first before she did. He was still fast asleep, his temperature fine and his bandage was clean so she smiled and went off to do her work. It was nice having a younger person back in the house again even temporarily, she thought to herself. She really missed her kids now that they had flown the nest and were living their own independent lives.

It was shortly after one o'clock when Steve finally opened his eyes and woke up. It took him a minute to wake up fully and remember where he was. Turning very carefully, and being extra careful not to jolt his very sore hand he saw Betty sitting in the armchair beside him knitting but as Steve turned she looked up and smiled warmly at him.

"Well Good afternoon Steve! My, you did seem to have a good sleep!"

Steve smiled back and rubbed at his sleepy eyes with his good hand.

"Hi! ... " then processing what Betty had just said he asked confused

" Afternoon? Have I slept that long?"

"Yes ... but you must have needed it!" and with that she carefully put her knitting away and moved forward in the chair to place a hand on Steve's forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"Yeah, I think I feel better! My stomach is still a little sore and my hand is really sore but I don't feel sick and I feel rested at least."

"Is your mouth still very dry?" Betty asked while carefully and gently checking his bandaged hand.

"After what Mike just poured into me over a couple of hours! No!" Steve said chuckling and realizing in that moment that his partner was nowhere to be seen.

Something about that bothered him. After all he had told Mike about what his Uncle had done, Steve suddenly got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He knew Mike had been furious with Henry for treating him the way he did! Surely he wouldn't have gone to have it out with him while Steve slept! But he hadn't told Mike Henry's full name or address thankfully, Steve remembered. And yet, Mike was resourceful enough to find that information out on his own. Feeling panicked, he felt his breathing increase and Betty spotted the anxiety too. Placing a slightly worried but supportive hand on the young man's shoulder she asked urgently.

"Steve? What's the matter?"

"Where's Mike Betty? Has he gone out?"

Fearing that Steve was feeling a little insecure again without Mike there just as he did before and knowing that in all fairness, she and Gerry were for all intents and purposes still relative strangers to the young man she quickly calmed his worst fears without even knowing.

"Relax Steve! He's just upstairs ! He stayed up all night with you so I sent him to catch up on some sleep at around ten am this morning!

Steve let out the breath he'd been holding and felt relief flood his heart. He closed his eyes to calm himself down and after a few minutes he felt able to speak again.

"Oh, that's good. I'm glad you got him to listen! He must have been exhausted but he doesn't always listen to reason!" Steve said smiling and trying to lighten the mood again after the few tense moments he had caused by his own anxiety.

Betty laughed at that.

"You really do know him well ! But we go back a long ways, me, Gerry and Mike! I have ways around his stubbornness!"

"I might need you to teach me some of those!" Steve answered reckoning Betty's tricks might just prove useful some day!

Betty laughed again and stood up.

"Say, are you feeling hungry at all because Mike cooked up a batch of delicious pancakes this morning that would have fed half of the street! Can I get you some?"

Steve always loved Mike's pancakes and had been treated to then more times than he could remember. Mostly at the weekends when Jeannie was home as Mike always treated her to them for her first morning home and Steve would always get the customary invite to come and join them, an invite he very rarely refused. But just at the minute his stomach was sore and he wasn't sure if the heavy, butter based pancakes would sit well in there. That being said, he was feeling a little hungry and thinking about them now was making his mouth water, perhaps comfort food would be just what the doctor ordered. So after probably too long a silence he answered a rather concerned looking Betty.

"Sorry ... I was just thinking of something else. Yeah! I think I could try a little of those but ... do you think it would be ok to go out to the kitchen to have them? I've been lying down a long time! I'd really like to stretch my legs a bit."

Betty eyed up her patient carefully, a move that made Steve slightly uncomfortable. His slowness in answering her last question and the fact that he had passed out during the night didn't really make her feel too confident about his being able to make it to the kitchen under his own steam and were he to fall, Gerry was at work and Mike was upstairs asleep so she didn't fancy her chances of being able to lift the young man however light he looked, off the floor. But she did feel for the young man having been stuck lying down so long and so she decided to go against her gut instinct and allow him to eat at the kitchen table if he wanted to. Her next door neighbour was a retired fire officer so as a back up plan she reckoned she could always call on him if needed.

"Ok, but you need to get up slowly and walk very slowly to the kitchen! I don't want you passing out on me again. Alright?"

Steve nodded and with Betty's help he sat up slowly and managed to swing his legs off the couch until his feet were on the floor again. Then very slowly as Betty had suggested, he very gingerly stood up, swaying ever so slightly as he did. Betty raced in and steadied him, holding his left elbow for support but also avoiding the bandaged hand and the part she knew was so badly bruised.

"Hey, hey easy now! Are you ok?"

"Yeah ... yeah I'm ok now, thanks! I guess I'm not used to being upright again but I don't feel dizzy. I think I can manage now. " Steve lied a little, mainly out of embarrassment at needing her help, but Betty was a strong-willed women and shared that trait with Mike, Steve suddenly realized, and determined to help him into the kitchen, was not relinquishing her hold on his elbow, despite how steady Steve was trying to appear to be.

So together they made their way slowly into the kitchen and only when Steve sat down at the table did Betty finally release her hold of his arm and went off to fetch him some breakfast. The walk from the couch to where he was now sitting had drained him of energy, a fact that worried him greatly. As Betty heated the pancakes and poured Steve some juice she saw his troubled look and figured that he was worried about how much energy, that small walk had taken so she spoke to him as she worked.

"You've been very ill Steve! Between the fever and the dehydration alone, it's probably taken its toll on you! You haven't been eating much lately either, Mike told us, so you'll need a day or two to build your strength back up! Don't be too concerned if you feel as weak as a kitten right now! I wouldn't expect you to feel any different after what you've just been through !"

Steve turned to look at Betty, amazed that she seemed to have the same perceptive skills that Mike had too. The ones he often seemed to use to read his mind like a book. Rubbing a hand through his hair, out of habit, he instantly regretted it as he felt the effects the fever had on his usual soft wavy locks and suddenly he felt in dire need of a shower and a freshen up, and he blushed as he realized that he must look a sight sitting here as he was, in the Palmer's kitchen. He pulled at the material of his shirt, suddenly feeling sweaty and icky and as Betty came over and placed a plate with two of Mike's pancakes on it and a glass of juice in front of him, she seemed to be putting her observational skills to good use again.

"There you are. Just eat what you feel able to. Ok? Then afterwards if you've proved to me that you can stay upright without feeling flaky, we'll see about letting you go and freshen up a little. How does that sound?"

Again Steve looked at Betty amazed at how she'd managed to read his mind for the second time in as many minutes, then smiling warmly at her he returned his look to his plate. Picking up his knife in his good hand, he then tried to pick up the fork very gingerly with his sore left hand, but the pain that shot through his hand, made him drop it just as quick and he winced and yelped subconsciously as the hand throbbed and the fork clanged off the plate alerting Betty to his trouble, from the kitchen counter where she had gone for a refill of coffee, seconds before. Racing back to Steve, she placed a hand on his shoulder and grabbed his sore wrist very gently with the other.

"What is it Steve? Is the hand very sore?"

Steve breath was coming in random gasps as the hand continued to throb and a slight ooze of blood appeared on the back of his hand.

"Yeah ... my fault ... guess I'm not supposed to use that just yet huh? I tried to pick up the fork with it!"

Seeing the blood, she winced in sympathy and ran off to get her faithful nurse's bag from the living room. Returning hastily, she sat down opposite Steve and carefully unwrapped the bandage. She sympathized with the young man, who she knew was desperately trying to put a brave face on the situation, despite being in a lot of discomfort with his hand. Although the swelling had gone down considerably, the fingers remained very slightly swollen and the bright purple bruising and the redness around where the needle had been and the fresh blood that was now oozing again from the puncture point, had to have been causing the young man opposite, considerable pain and discomfort. Knowing that the only way to stop the bleeding was through applied pressure, she felt it only fair to warn her patient of what she was about to do.

"Steve, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to press down on this wound to stop the bleeding again. Try to breathe normally, nice and slowly while I do. Ok? If you hold your breath you'll just make yourself feel dizzy again. Are you ready?"

Steve nodded bravely and Betty pressed on the oozing wound. The pain sharpened but wasn't as bad as it had been during the night so Steve did as he was told and breathed slowly and purposefully in and out, closing his eyes as he did and suddenly wishing that Mike was there to distract him from the discomfort, something he always did so well. Luckily Betty worked quickly and efficiently and within minutes she had the bleeding stopped, the wound redressed only this time she bandaged up Steve's fingers too so that using them wouldn't be an option for a while. When she finished, she smiled at Steve who was so concentrating on his breathing that he hadn't noticed she'd finished. Placing a gentle hand on his cheek, she spoke softly.

"Steve! It's done! "

Steve opened his eyes and saw his hand rebandaged and smiled gratefully at Betty.

"Thanks, sorry about that. I shouldn't have tried to use it!"

"No, I'm sorry. I should have remembered you were one handed for the moment. Here let me cut those for you. Ok? I don't want you moving the fingers on that hand for at least the next thirty-six hours."

Steve groaned quietly at the thoughts of how helpless that was going to make him for the next thirty-six hours but he understood why it was necessary. He watched sheepishly as Betty took his plate and cutlery and proceeded to cut his food into bite sized pieces. Glancing up once she saw how embarrassing the young man was finding it and spoke again.

"I guess it's a long time since a woman cut up your food for you. Huh?" but then instantly regretted her words as she remembered what Mike had told her about him losing his parents so young and then being raised by his Grandfather. Flustering slightly at her mischosen words she continued apologetically.

"Oh Steve! I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Mike told me how you lost your Mother at a very young age and how your Grandfather raised you. I didn't mean to be insensitive. Please forgive my foolishness!"

"That's ok. It's kind of nice to be mothered for a change. I've always had male role models taking care of me up to now and even still !" Steve added pointing figuratively upstairs to where Mike was sleeping and chuckling to avoid the awkwardness of the moment.

That put Betty at ease and she chuckled too.

"Yes, I guess who needs a mother hen when you have Mike fussing over you. Huh?"

Steve laughed again and Betty handed him back the plate and put the fork in his good hand.

"It can't have been easy though! Didn't Mike say you went to stay with your Aunt for a while? Wasn't she the maternal type?" Betty asked and then wondered if she should have brought that up at all but something about the situation that Mike had described had bothered her greatly.

As a nurse and a mother, she couldn't fathom how Steve's Aunt had remained so unaware of her husband's abuse of Steve! Surely some alarm bells had to have gone off in her mind at Steve's demeanor and mysterious behaviour. Women like that angered her. Weak willed and minded and controlled by overbearing men! Unlike Mike and Gerry, her anger was aimed at Steve's Aunt for allowing her brother's child to be so horribly mistreated by her own husband while he was in her care. However, having sworn to Mike that she would keep her knowledge of Steve's abuse a secret she knew she had to tread very carefully around the subject but felt that she at least needed some insight into his Aunt's mind to fully let the subject drop.

Steve had been taken aback by Betty's question. He began to wonder how much Mike had confided in her and he felt panic and confusion start to eat away at him inside. However she had just asked an innocent enough question and maybe Mike had been just trying to inquire if they knew his Aunt and Uncle from around Modesto. Why he would be inquiring about that from them brought a whole new set of questions to his mind but for now he would have to just answer carefully and hope that she didn't know all the horrid things that he had only been able to tell Mike about last night. Realizing again that he had taken a while to answer, he cleared his throat and pushed one square of pancake in circles around his plate mindlessly as he did.

"Yeah, she was but, I was fifteen by the time I came to stay with her. No fifteen year old wants to be mothered right?"

Steve knew his answer was very lame but he hoped that would bring an end to any line of questioning that Betty had embarked upon. Betty being ever shrewd, needed no further explanation. The plain statement belied the feelings she read in his eyes. She could tell by his eyes that he had been in desperate need of a motherly figure by the time he came to live with his Aunt but his plain statement spoke a thousand words. He had been disappointed at the lack of a mother's care he had received while in her care. Probably seen as fairly well self-sufficient at fifteen, Betty almost sensed that he had been left to fend for himself and deal with Uncle Henry while his Aunt had cared for her own children and told herself she was doing right by the boy providing him with food to eat, clothes to wear and a roof over his head. But as a very maternal figure herself, Betty could almost see the gaping hole inside Steve that had lacked and needed motherly affection and a woman's care and concern. Not that she couldn't tell what a good upbringing his Grandfather had given him. She could tell by his manners, his gentleness and his nature that he had been raised by a very wise and loving man but there was a side of Steve that she sensed had never been nurtured. A side that held great sadness and longing and perhaps sometimes was his undoing and she felt sad for Steve in that moment. Every child needs a mother's love and care and she vowed to at least make up even a little bit of it, in the short time he would be staying with them. Realizing that Steve had attempted to end the conversation with his statement she rose from the table and allowed him this victory.

"Oh you are so right! Why when our Mark was fifteen he spent most of his time wired to music or up in his room! Would you like some coffee Steve?"

Grateful for an end to the questioning he nodded politely.

"Yes, Ma'am. That would be nice. Thank you!"

As Betty busied herself at the counter pouring coffee she glanced over at Steve and saw him take a few forkfuls of pancake into his mouth but he did seem to be struggling to swallow them. She watched as he washed them down with juice but spent more time pushing the pieces around than he did trying to eat them, his mind seemed to be on other things as he stared at his plate with an innate sadness that tore at Betty's heartstrings.

Remembering then that Steve was very overdue his next antibiotic, she reached for the pharmacy bag and she took one tablet out and headed over to Steve with it and a glass of water.

"Steve, you're overdue your next antibiotic. I figured seeing that you've managed to keep fluids down we might be able to try you on the oral antibiotic. How do you feel about that?"

Steve's face brightened considerably.

"You mean no more needles?" and as Betty nodded smiling he continued. " That sounds fine with me. " and taking the tablet he quickly swallowed it down and washed it down with the water.

Betty took the empty glass back.

"Do try to eat a little though if you can at all as they can be hard on an empty stomach especially as yours is already sore to begin with?"

Steve nodded and put some more food in his mouth and chewed it well but despite the very good act he was putting on, Betty could tell that he was struggling to eat much, not surprisingly though, as Betty knew a stomach infection normally seriously affected a patient's appetite.

It was just around twenty minutes later at one forty-five pm when Mike arrived through the kitchen door, looking more refreshed and a broad smile lit up his face when he saw Steve sitting at the kitchen table chatting with Betty and looking a lot better than he had, the last time he had seen him. He had been temporarily concerned when he had seen the couch empty as he had passed through the living room but hearing voices coming from the kitchen he had hoped that he would find Steve there and thankfully hadn't been disappointed. Walking over and ruffling the young man's hair playfully, he spoke.

"Well, buddy boy! Look at you, sitting out here eating pancakes. You must be feeling better huh?"

"Yeah, I'm feeling much better. Did you manage to get some sleep?"

"Yes I did." then addressing Betty he added " The bed in your spare room is heavenly. I can even feel my back muscles starting to ease out again. Thanks Betty! So, how's our boy doing here? Is he as better as he's making out, huh?" Mike asked,knowing how Steve always tended to make out he was fine when he clearly wasn't. And while it was good to see him up and about again he still looked awfully pale and his hardly touched plate was a worrying sign too as Mike remembered how many of Mike's pancakes he usually managed to put away.

"He's doing better Mike, but it will take a few days before he's back to himself. Loss of appetite and tiredness are common after effects of the type of stomach infection he had. Dan rang while you were both asleep and identified the bacteria that caused all this and while it is nasty, this antibiotic should kill it within five days or so, provided we make sure he doesn't miss any more doses!"

"He's still very pale Betty! Is that normal for what he's had?"

"MIKE! I am here you know?" Steve said amazed that the older man was once again talking about him as if he wasn't even in the room!"

"Sorry buddy boy but if I ask you, you always say you're fine! I just wanted to hear from Betty if you should be as pale as you are! That's all. Ok buddy boy?"

Steve nodded reluctantly, knowing that Mike was only acting out of concern for him and attempting to force another mouthful of the by now cold pancakes down his throat.

Betty had been going to answer Mike but thought better of it when she saw how uncomfortable Steve was with them discussing him so blatantly in his presence so instead she handed Mike a cup of coffee and exchanged an understanding glance with him as she did. Mike returned the look and thanked her for the coffee. Then he took his cup and sat down opposite Steve and saw how much he was struggling to swallow the food in front of him. He did admire the fact that he was trying to eat at least and made idle conversation.

"Would it be easier if I got you more syrup for those, buddy boy?"

Steve looked up realizing that Mike was noticing his struggle.

"No thanks Mike, the problem isn't the pancakes, it's my ability to swallow them!" Steve admitted, swallowing another mouthful and making a strained face as he did.

Betty came over with another cup of coffee and placing it in front of Steve she took his plate away.

"Here try to drink this instead! There's no point forcing yourself to eat if you're not up to it yet. Just take it slowly ok?"

Steve nodded and sipped at the coffee, which he found easier to tolerate and listened as Betty and Mike chatted about anything and everything. Just after two o'clock the kitchen door opened again and Gerry entered carrying a box in his hands.

"Hey, Mike! I brought in your two overnight bags from the trunk but this box was in there too! Did you want this in aswell?"

Steve instantly recognized the box from the Richards' house and wondered what had possessed Mike to bring it here with them! He swung around and stared at Mike who looked like he wished that the floor would open up and swallow him. He knew Gerry was waiting on his answer but he could also see Steve staring at him from the corner of his eye as if he were looking for an explanation too of what the box was doing in the trunk of Gerry's car! So turning to Steve first he gently explained.

"Sorry Steve! I just didn't want to leave it back in our car at the Park car park just in case something happened to it before you got a chance to see what was in it, that's all! " then turning back to Gerry he answered the initial question he had been asked. " No, it's ok Gerry, you can leave that out in the trunk for now if you don't mind!"

But as Gerry nodded and turned to leave with it, Steve stopped him unexpectedly as everyone's eyes rested on the young man.

"No, it's ok Gerry, you can leave it here please!" then turning to Mike he responded. "You were right not to leave it! ... I guess I'm going to have to open it sooner or later and now is as good a time as any huh Mike?"

Mike smiled at the younger man but he was slightly concerned about what Steve might find in the box and wondered if he was well enough to cope with whatever he found. Placing his hand on the young man's arm he spoke softly.

"Are you sure you're up to that Steve? You don't have to open it now you know? There's plenty of time!"

"I know Mike ... But I want to ... It's ok!" Steve stated confidently and yet as his insides churned and butterflies appeared in his stomach he wondered if indeed Mike had bought his confident act at all!

As Gerry placed the box on the table in front of Steve, he glanced at his wife who looked equally as unaware as him of the significance of the box and yet somehow it felt like this moment was something that neither of them should be intruding on, so quickly Gerry spoke to Betty.

"Do you think you could take another look at this head of mine sweetheart, in the living room? I think it might need a new dressing!"

The look he gave her along with his words made Betty realize that he was feeling that they should leave Mike and Steve alone for a little while and so without further delay, Betty crossed the kitchen and grabbing her nurse's bag she took her husband's arm and led him from the kitchen quietly speaking as she went.

"Of course dear! Let's go take a look at it." and then she spoke over her shoulder to Mike." If you need us we'll be just in the other room."

Mike smiled at them both, grateful for their obvious tact and common sense and watched them as they left. Then he turned back towards Steve who looked oblivious to the fact that Betty and Gerry had even left in the first place. He was staring at the box in front of him and Mike watched as with one very shaky hand he lifted the first flap on the cardboard box, then the second and peered inside. Mike couldn't see into the box from where he was sitting but his heart skipped a beat as he saw Steve's shocked reaction and the ensuing gasp that involuntary left his lips. Placing a hand on Steve's arm and watching as even more colour drained from Steve's face, a feat Mike didn't even believe possible, he spoke, afraid of the answer he would receive.

"Steve? What is it? What's in there?"


	23. Chapter 23

**Going Home**

Chapter 23

Steve never moved for several seconds but stayed staring into the box. Mike could tell that something in the box was causing his emotions to fray as he saw a glint of moisture in the young man's eyes. He wanted to peer over and look into the box himself but something about these contents made him feel like he would be prying and so instead he waited patiently and merely asked softly again.

"Steve ! Talk to me! What's in there? Are you ok?"

This time Steve seemed to hear Mike and he glanced over at his partner briefly. Realizing that Mike was getting worried by his reaction, he reached into the box with his good hand and pulled out a large really old-looking book of sorts. Pushing the box slowly to one side, he placed it on the table in front of him and opened it onto the first page. From its new position Mike could see that it was a photo album of some kind and when the first page was opened he saw a wedding picture. Steve ran his finger over the two people in the Wedding picture and then looked up at Mike. Mike's brow was furrowed with concern for his partner. He still hadn't answered him and now he could see that Steve seemed to be struggling to form his next words. After several more seconds passed he spoke very shakily.

"It's my ... Mom and Dad's Wedding Album Mike!" and he continued to open page after page and stare at the two people in the picture.

Mike's heart broke for Steve and he wasn't sure what to say to ease the sadness that this album had evoked in the young man. So he just stayed quiet, watching him and keeping a close eye on him. As Steve reached the last page and closed the book, Mike decided to speak again.

"Have you ever seen that before Steve?"

Steve shook his head sadly.

"No ... but Mike! If Harry had this all those years, why didn't he show it to me?"

Steve seemed to be struggling with why Harry had kept this from him and Mike felt he almost needed to defend Harry's actions on his behalf so he spoke softly and comfortingly.

"Well ... I don't know why buddy boy but maybe he thought it would just upset you and he did say in that letter that he had so much more he wanted to show you remember? Maybe what's in this box were some of those things!"

Mike left it at that, feeling that he had explained it as best he could and as Steve looked at him he read in the young man's eyes that his explanation was satisfactory.

"Yeah .. yeah you're right! He did say that. "

Steve let out a deep sigh and then pulled the box closer again. Reaching in he pulled out a second book and placed it down on top of the first one and on opening the first page he placed his hand over his mouth and gasped again

"Oh my God! ..."

Mike leaned over and saw that it was another photo album only this time the pictures were of two people holding a baby. Steve seemed to be getting upset and Mike feared that he had been right and that Steve hadn't been ready to open this particular box of memories just yet! Placing a hand on Steve's arm he asked cautiously, realization just dawning on him as to what he found so upsetting about this particular album.

"Steve? Is that baby you?"

Steve merely nodded slowly and he saw a tear run down Steve's cheek as he flicked through the thick album of photos that depicted the five years of his precious time with his parents that saw him grow from a baby to a five-year old child. He wiped at his cheek and stopped again briefly on a particular photo that Mike reckoned he looked about four years old in. His two parents were each holding a hand each and they seemed to be in a Park of some kind. All three people in the photo were smiling and laughing and Steve once again ran his finger gently over the picture emotionally.

"I remember that coat ... and that Park. It ... was near where we lived ... I can't believe he had these albums all along. He should have shown them to me Mike! ... "

The last picture had proved to be a little too upsetting for Steve and Mike heard his voice catch in his throat and watched as Steve covered his face with his good hand and heard him struggle to hold in the upset that threatened to overwhelm him. Mike hated seeing him like this and even though he had seen him upset more times than a little over the last five days, it didn't get any easier. Reaching across the table he grabbed Steve's shoulder and squeezed it supportively.

"Now, now buddy boy! It's alright. I know it's upsetting looking at these pictures but Harry only wanted what was best for you! Think about it Steve! Look at how upset looking at these pictures makes you now! How worse do you think you would have felt looking at these at nine years or ten years old? Huh? He didn't want to see you upset and ... well ... I can understand that because ... well it's no fun for me either! He just wanted to protect you from that. That's all Steve!"

Steve dropped his hand and looked at Mike, teary eyed and heartbroken. He had listened to Mike's words and as usual it all made sense. He wouldn't have coped with looking at these photos at all when he lived with Harry and it made sense that Harry had protected him from seeing them until he felt he was old enough to cope with it. Rubbing at his eyes with his good hand and feeling really foolish in front of his partner he felt himself getting embarrassed again for his blatant breakdown and he had only taken two things from the box yet!

"Sorry Mike! It's just so hard looking at these! I keep wondering what they would have been like now if ... if things had been different. You know?" Steve said still sniffing and trying to get his emotions back under control.

"I know, I know Steve !"

Mike stood up and went over to his overnight bag where Gerry had left it and Steve watched him go curiously. Mike unzipped it and removing something he returned to Steve and handed him a clean handkerchief. This made Steve chuckle through his upset.

"I still have your other one in my jacket pocket! I really should have brought some of my own, huh? Thanks! " he said wiping his eyes and blowing his nose gratefully.

"Mike! Before we go back home to San Francisco ... I really want to go visit their grave and ... Harry's ... please?"

"Sure buddy boy, we can arrange that!"

The album was still open on the table and Steve's eyes looked at the photo once more sadly. Sitting back down and reaching over and placing his hand over Steve's, Mike spoke firmly.

"I think you should put that away now! Ok, buddy boy? "

Steve nodded and closed the second album. Then he reached into the box again but this time Mike stopped him momentarily .

"Steve? Are you sure you're up to looking at the rest of what's in this box now?"

"Yeah, it's ok Mike! I'll try to keep my head this time !"

"That's a lot easier said than done buddy boy! Especially when you're dealing with memories! This reminds me of going through Helen's stuff after she died! Jeannie helped me but ... well let's just say we both went through a lot of clean handkerchiefs that day buddy boy!"

Steve smiled at Mike, remembering that he too had gone through loss and heartache in equal measure as Steve had. They exchanged a look of empathy for each other's pain and then wordlessly, Mike released Steve's hand and allowed him to continue. Steve reached into the box and took out a beige coloured pipe. He held it in his hand and smiled at it, then seeing Mike watching he felt he should explain.

"This was Harry's! He didn't smoke it all the time. Just occasionally, always sitting out on the swing seat on the porch!"

He set it down gently and reached in again and pulled out a tweed cap. Again he smiled and held it and spoke again.

"Harry constantly wore this. Aunt Rose used to say he must wear it to bed!"

Steve chuckled at that but stared at the cap lovingly and Mike felt that by holding it Steve felt somehow connected with his Grandfather again however tenuously. Mike never pushed him to get the next item but allowed him whatever time he needed to deal with each item on his own terms. Setting it down eventually he pulled out a few more belongings of Harry's. An old wallet, a pair of gold cufflinks, and then a picture of a kindly, smiling lady in an antique frame. As Steve saw the picture he smiled and explained to Mike.

"This was my Grandmother Elsie. Harry's wife. He used to keep this picture beside her rocking chair. "

"Did you ever meet her?" Mike asked watching the nostalgic look on Steve's face as he stared at the picture.

"No ... she died before I was born but Harry told me so much about her that I almost felt I had known her! He never knew I saw him but he used to talk to her picture while he rocked in her chair and he used to say goodnight to this picture every night. I think he really missed her."

As Steve still gazed at the picture sadly of a Grandmother he never knew but would have loved to, Mike suddenly spoke and drew his attention.

"I talk to Helen's picture sometimes and I say goodnight to her too every night. It's almost become a habit, part of the routine. It's comforting ..."

Steve looked up at Mike and Mike turned away embarrassed, not quite sure what had possessed him to tell Steve that very personal piece of information but knowing he could trust Steve implicitly at the same time.

"You never told me that before!" Steve asked touched that he felt he could share such a sensitive fact with him.

"Well, I guess it never came up before. If Harry did it then I guess it's ok for anyone to do it. It's whatever helps ... you know?"

"Yeah, I know ..."

"Steve, whatever happened to your mother's parents?"

"I don't know Mike! ... They were never mentioned. I guess I just assumed that they weren't around anymore."

Mike could understand Steve's negative thinking. After all, he had so much death, tragedy and loss in his short life that he didn't blame him assuming that they were deceased also.

"You know maybe you should look into that buddy boy someday! Maybe you'll discover you still have Grandparents somewhere you never knew about!"

Steve looked at him doubtfully, but not wanting to seem ungrateful for Mike's positive suggestion he smiled at Mike and added.

"Maybe, I guess it's possible ..." but wanting to return to the task at hand he quickly turned his attention back to the box on the table.

Next Steve pulled out several things from the box that had belonged to him. There were a couple of wooden things that Harry had made for him and crafted lovingly. A wooden car, a wooden train and a wooden pencil box. Steve held each item lovingly, as if they held a hundred memories and as he set them down Mike picked them up and admired the beautiful work and time that went into crafting them.

"Your Grandfather was quite the carpenter. These pieces are exquisite. The detail is superb. "

But Steve never answered as he reached in and pulled another item from the box and Mike could see that his promise to not get upset was in jeopardy. It was a telescope.

"Oh man! I wondered what ever happened to this thing ..." was all he managed to say as a lump appeared in his throat again.

"Was that involved in your stargazing buddy boy?"

Steve nodded trying to smile to disguise the sadness that he felt that those times were just memories now. After a few more minutes he looked in the box again and pulled out another small velvet covered book. He had never seen it before and wondered what it was. He flicked through the pages and saw that it was filled with writing, but Steve could see that it wasn't Harry's handwriting and again he was puzzled. Mike saw him looking strangely at it and asked.

"What's that Steve?"

"I'm not sure Mike. It's like a journal of some kind. It looks old."

Then Steve opened the inner cover and in clear handwriting Steve read the name and turning the page over he seemed to read something else and then he dropped the book onto the table as if he had suddenly got an electric shock from it. He was breathing heavier and Mike got concerned.

"Steve! What's the matter?"

Steve just sat staring at the book on the table and Mike picked it up and looked at what had alarmed Steve. In the corner of the inside cover was the name Elizabeth Keller and beside it was the word Diary. As realization dawned on Mike he looked up at Steve and stammered.

"Steve ... this is ... your mother's Diary?"

Steve nodded but Mike felt that wasn't all that was upsetting the young man.

"Mike look at the first date ... the first entry."

Mike turned the page and looked back up at Steve, realizing what had upset him so much.

"It's ... the day you were born! She wrote a diary all about you Steve!"

Mike held up the journal close to his eyes, not remembering where he had put his glasses last and squinted at the writing on the first page. He read the first couple of lines out loud.

"We have had a baby boy! He is the most perfect little person ever! He has his Daddy's chin and my eyes and a headful of brown wavy hair ... He has hardly cried at all. I never knew I could love any little person this much but my heart is so full of love for our sweet little son. We both feel that he has made our lives complete ..."

Steve couldn't listen to any more. He felt his throat almost constricting as he listened to Mike reading and he could almost hear his Mother's voice reading the words alongside Mike. He was finding it too upsetting as he missed them both so much, so reaching out his good hand he grabbed Mike's arm and spoke urgently.

"Mike! Stop! Please don't read anymore ..."

Mike lowered the book realizing the effect the words were having on Steve and closed it carefully.

"Sorry buddy boy, I guess those words are hard to listen to right now huh?"

Steve merely nodded and swiped another tear away with Mike's handkerchief and then as his voice wavered he added.

"Look at the last entry Mike, will you please?"

Mike turned to the last page and found just two sentences on a final date five years on from the first date. Turning the book to show Steve the date, he asked, feeling his heart aching inside of him as he did, and finding his voice wavering almost as much as Steve's.

"Was that the day she died?"

Steve nodded, his heart suddenly feeling torn in half and it took every ounce of strength he had left to pull himself from the brink of another tearful episode.

Mike sympathized with his partner but desperately tried to find the positives in it.

"Steve, that's some treasure to have. By reading this you'll see how much she cared about you and you'll know everything about the time you spent with them. Stuff you probably don't even remember ! Some you might, but it's all recorded in here ... just for you! Don't look at it as an upset but more like her last gift to you. Oh I know, it's too raw and painful for you to read now but someday you'll feel up to it and when you do, you'll be glad to have it! Trust me now! Ok?"

Steve nodded, still finding it too hard to speak but appreciating Mike's words and insight.

Mike could see how upset Steve was and while he had looked very rested when Mike had come downstairs at first, the emotional toll that seeing these items had taken, meant he now looked tired again. Seeing that his coffee had gone cold in the meantime and remained untouched on the table in front of him, Mike decided that a cup of sweet tea would be just what the doctor ordered for Steve so he closed Steve's mother's journal and rose from the table.

Steve just sat where he was, drained and miserable. His stomach was starting to hurt again and he was regretting eating the little he had. His hand was throbbing mercilessly from the earlier incident and he held it subconsciously as if that would somehow make the pain of it magically disappear. As he sat surrounded by all the items from the box, he felt numb inside. Mike was right. He did treasure all these things and he was glad that Mr. Richards had kept them for him and not destroyed them as his Uncle Henry had requested him to, but right now they just made him feel somehow lost. Somehow broken and sad. They represented a life that had been sweet but had been wrenched away from him through no fault of his own. They represented the people he had loved and lost. He felt sick and tired and laying his painful hand across his lap he leaned forward and covered his face with his good hand.

Mike had stood up to go and put the kettle on to make tea but he never left the table. He was worried about Steve. He looked so upset and sickly and when he leaned forward as he did he looked very flaky aswell. Mike hovered, almost unnoticed by Steve and leaning forward he placed a hand on Steve's back and hunkered down beside the young man.

"Steve! Are you alright? What's wrong?"

Steve's eyes were closed and he was breathing slowly but he was worryingly quiet. Hearing Mike speaking to him, he turned his head and saw Mike studying him, with great concern written all over his face.

"Don't feel good Mike! ... My stomach and my hand are hurting really bad!"

"Ok, I think we need to put these things away and get Betty back in here buddy boy! You look a little flaky. Do you feel faint Steve?" Mike asked afraid that Steve would keel over on him any second by the pallor of his features.

"No ... just feel strange and a bit sick!"

"Maybe those pancakes weren't a good idea yet, huh Steve? I don't think you were ready to look at all those things either. Best to put them away now alright?"

Steve nodded carefully.

Ok ... but Mike! Is there anything else left in the box?"

Mike peered in and saw it empty.

"No, you've seen everything that was in it. Ok?" and with that Mike started to take the things from the table and placed them gently and carefully as if he were handling very fragile items back into the box.

When the box was repacked he closed it and took it off the table and placed it over beside their overnight bags again carefully. Then he hurried back to Steve. Steve hadn't moved but Mike thought that he was trembling slightly and he swore he saw a look of disappointment on the young man's face. Wondering why he had asked if the box was empty, he asked.

"Was there something you had hoped would be in there Steve?"

Steve nodded again and spoke shakily.

"I guess I hoped Dad's baseball mitt would be in there somehow ... but I was just wishful thinking I suppose. Harry didn't know what happened to it so there was no reason why he would have had it, right?"

"Right, but it may still turn up somewhere! Don't give up hope on it ok Steve?"

Steve went to answer but his stomach cramped and a pain filled moan came out instead as he doubled slightly where he sat. Mike became alarmed and spoke urgently to his partner.

"Hold on Steve! I'll get Betty!"

Mike rushed out to the living room and saw his two good friends sitting down, talking.

"Betty, you better come in! It's Steve! He's not looking great and he seems to be in pain!"

Betty didn't have to be told twice and rushed behind Mike back into the kitchen, her husband close at her heels. SeeIng Steve doubled over at the table as white as a ghost and cradling his sore hand, she started to form her own medical opinions.

"Steve! Talk to me ! What's going on? How are you feeling?"

"I've got bad cramps in my stomach ... and my hand is hurting really bad ... feel a little sick and a little light-headed ..." he gasped and then stopped as another cramp tore through his stomach.

Mike was still standing beside his partner, his hand on the young man's back, but he felt helpless as he watched Betty take charge.

"Steve, I think your stomach is just protesting what you ate and the antibiotic is probably very strong on your stomach too so I don't think that's helping. Do you think you could swallow and keep down some pain meds for me?"

"Yeah ... I think so."

Betty hurried over to the pharmacy bag and took out a bottle of paracetamol and fetched a glass of water from the tap. Racing back to Steve she handed him two pills and the water.

"Here Steve, swallow these for me. I'm not going to give you ibuprofen because it can be harsh on your stomach too. The paracetamol should be easier for you to take, but you badly need to take something for the pain."

Steve took the pills gratefully and swallowed them down quickly. Then Betty issued instructions again.

"Gerry and Mike! I need you two to bring him back inside and get him lying down on the couch again while I get him a hot water bottle for his stomach! The heat will help ease the cramps. Just watch his hand!"

Gerry hurried over to Mike and between them they helped Steve up from where he was sitting. Gerry put Steve's good arm around his shoulders and Mike came around the other side and placed one arm around Steve's waist and held his elbow with the other being careful to keep his sore hand out of harm's way. Together they walked him slowly back to the living room. Mike and Gerry exchanged a worried look between them at how quiet and pale Steve looked and he winced a couple of times as if his stomach was still cramping badly. They got him back to the couch and placed him back lying down. Steve immediately turned on his right side towards the back of the couch and curled up holding his stomach with his right hand , his left hand held out so that it wouldn't touch off anything. He closed his eyes and prayed that the painkillers would kick in fast. He knew Gerry and Mike were standing behind him but he didn't feel up to interacting with anyone. He just wanted to be left alone until he was feeling better! Betty returned quickly and saw the two men standing watching over Steve, looking worried and unsure what to do next. She came past them and leaned over Steve. Lifting his good hand she gently placed the hot water bottle over his stomach and replaced his hand to hold it in place.

"This should help Steve until the meds kick in! "

Being a highly trained and experienced nurse, she knew how Steve was feeling. As she watched him shutting himself away from everyone in the room she knew he just needed some peace and quiet and lots of TLC at the minute and the last thing he needed was Mike's well-intentioned fussing. She began to wonder what had been in the box that they had been looking at. Steve looked miserable and somehow Betty felt it wasn't just the physical symptoms that were causing it. Regardless, she spoke softly to Steve.

"Try to take it easy Steve! The meds should work soon. Rest for now and I'll be right back." and with that she turned and ushered Mike and Gerry towards the kitchen.

Mike was reluctant to leave but Betty was quite insistent that they leave the young man in peace to rest. On entering the kitchen Betty spoke firmly to Mike who was still trying to look past Betty to where Steve was lying even as the door was slowly closing behind them.

"Mike! He'll be ok! It's still early days for this stomach infection! It's not going to miraculously cure over a number of hours. He just needs some rest and when the pain meds kick in he'll be more comfortable. Why don't you and Gerry go and get your things and your car from the campsite and I'll keep a close eye on him. I promise, ok? "

"I don't like leaving him like this Betty!"

"I know you don't Mike!" Betty said sympathetically placing a hand on his arm "But you have to trust me! He needs to rest right now. There's nothing you can do for him at the minute. Please! Go with Gerry! I promise you he'll be a lot better by the time you get back!"

Mike looked at Betty and knew that she was right. He smiled at how even though Betty had only met Steve a little over twenty hours ago, she was perceptive enough to realize that Steve hated being fussed over and that when he was feeling like he was now, he needed to be left to deal with it quietly and under his own terms. So nodding gratefully he answered her.

"Ok ... you're right! And I do need to collect the car and our other things so ok! I'll leave him in your more than capable hands. But Betty, tell him I won't be long alright? "

Betty smiled warmly at Mike.

"Of course I will. Now go on! Go get your things and he'll be fine! "

"Come on Mike! Are you ready to go? We won't be long!" Gerry asked knowing that his wife needed to go back in and attend to Steve.

Mike nodded and followed Gerry back out into the living room and before he followed him out into the hall, he looked back over at Steve one more time. He hadn't moved an inch and Mike tried to control the worry that was eating away at him. Looking back at Betty briefly he said goodbye and hurried out after Gerry. Picking up his coat and hat from where it was hanging up he followed Gerry outside and closed the front door behind him.

Betty crossed to the window and watched as the two men got into Gerry's car and drove off and then she came back to her patient and placed a gentle hand on his arm.

"Steve! Gerry and Mike are just gone to pick up Mike's car. They won't be long. Is the heat helping your stomach at all?"

The heat had helped a great deal. It was strangely comforting and the pain meds were starting to take the edge off his various aches and pains. Nodding his head, not wanting to have to talk at all for the time being he was grateful when Betty seemed to understand.

"Ok, rest now!" was all she uttered.

Then he felt her pull a light cover up over him and heard her sit down in the armchair behind him. After a few minutes passed he heard the familiar sound of knitting needles clicking together and knowing that she was there but allowing him the peace he needed, he allowed himself to drift off to sleep.

As Gerry drove back towards Tuolumne River Regional Park, Mike was very quiet and thoughtful. He hadn't said anything at all since they had left and so about half way to their destination, Gerry spoke first.

"Mike! Stop worrying about Steve will you please? Betty has everything under control! She'll have him right as rain soon enough. It just takes time that's all!"

"I know that Gerry! It's not that ... "

"Then what's eating at you? Has it ... anything to do with that box back there?"

Mike smiled over at his good friend, perceptive as always.

"Yes .. yes it has! "

"What was in it Mike?"

"We visited Steve's Grandfather's house yesterday. The Department psychologist suggested, well you remember what they're like don't you? That Steve should go back to the house where he found him deceased so he could deal with it and move on ... "

"Oh, oh! I don't like where you're heading with all this Mike! Don't tell me it didn't quite work out as it was supposed to huh?"

"No ... actually it went quite well, but the new owner found things left in the house, things that he felt Steve should have and well ... that's what was in the box! I had hoped he'd wait until we were back in San Francisco to open it and go through what was in it but he wanted to do it today so I didn't want to argue with him but the things in there were pretty tough to handle ..."

Gerry was concentrating on his driving but was listening to Mike's story too and casting brief glances over at Mike. At his last sentence, Gerry grew apprehensive.

"What exactly was in it?"

"His parent's wedding album, pictures of him as a child with his parents before they ... well before the accident and a diary his mother wrote from the day he was born and various other mementos ..."

"Wow!" Gerry said shaking his head and sighing heavily. "I see what you mean about tough! But ... well it's kind of my fault then for bringing it in Mike! I'm sorry. I should have left it in the trunk!" he said feeling suddenly guilty for being the cause of Steve's upset.

"No Gerry! It's not your fault! It's not anyone's fault. It's just how things happened that's all! I just feel so frustrated Gerry. I want to help him but I'm not really sure how to ... Every time I think I've got him to open up and confide in me , he clams up and turns away just like ... back at the house!"

Gerry looked at Mike and quickly pulled the car up to the side of the roadway and turned to look straight at Mike without the distraction of driving!

"MIKE! Steve didn't turn away from you! It's plain for anyone to see that boy idolizes you! He looks up to you Mike! He just ... doesn't know how to deal with how he's feeling that's all! You have to remember that from what you told me, apart from his Grandfather the boy never had anyone to confide in for a long while! Turning in on himself and dealing with his problems himself and on his own were his only option! That's just how he copes Mike! The fact that you've got him to confide in you at all is clear proof that he's come a long way in the last few days but Mike! Rome wasn't built in a day and old habits take time to change. I should know. Give him time Mike! He's on the right path, I can tell, and all you need to do is make sure you're there when he needs you. That's all!"

By the time Gerry finished speaking, Mike had moisture clouding his vision. Of course Gerry was right! And Steve had talked more to him in the last five days about personal things than he had in the full three years they had worked together. Sighing himself and then reaching out and patting Gerry on the shoulder, he smiled.

"You're right! Say ... how did you get to be so wise? Huh Gerry?"

Gerry laughed and patted Mike's shoulder right back.

"Why listening to you of course, my old friend!"

"Hey, hey less of the old if you don't mind!" Mike teased back "You know there's not that many years between us!"

The two men laughed and Gerry pulled back out into the traffic, not far now from their destination.


	24. Chapter 24

**Going Home**

Chapter 24

Steve slept fitfully for the next half hour, the cramps in his stomach despite being eased by the heat and the meds still managing to disturb any rest he was trying to get. Betty watched over him and her heart went out to him. He seemed very uneasy and she had put away her knitting in order to attend to him more closely. A couple of times he had moaned in his sleep and Betty had rubbed his shoulder soothingly just as she had done, down through the years for her own children when they were sick and indeed for her very ill patients at the clinic and it was something that always seemed to settle even the most restless of patients. Steve was no exception and he had settled each time back to an easier sleep. As the meds fully kicked in, Steve's moans stopped and he thankfully seemed to sleep more peacefully. So at this stage Betty had resumed her knitting, thankful that Steve's suffering had finally eased.

As she knitted she thought about the young man she was watching over. She hadn't even known him very long but there was something special about the young man that cried out to be loved and appreciated. There was a deep sadness about him and even when he smiled, a discerning eye could see past the mask at the deep hurt that lay beyond the outer exterior. She thought about what Mike had told her about his tragic childhood and also about how his Aunt had failed him. She thought about her own kids and how she would feel if Mark or Emily had to endure such a fate and she shuddered at the prospect! Considering all he had been through, he had turned into a very well-mannered and considerate person and she admired his strength and his courage for coming through it relatively unscathed. She was also very grateful that he had met Mike! He couldn't have been any luckier in his choice of a partner and role model and again she shuddered at what different fate could have been in store for him had he not crossed paths with Mike at all!

He had been asleep for an hour in total when the Palmer's phone rang. Betty stood up and hurried to the hall to answer it before it woke up her patient but it was too late for as she reached the phone on the hall table and was greeted by her daughter's voice, Steve woke abruptly, the final two or three rings penetrating his subconsciousness. He glanced around and listened and heard Betty's voice coming from the hall. Hearing only a very muffled one-sided conversation he figured she was on the phone and the anxiety that he had felt on waking dissipated.

He turned back over on his back pulling the hot water bottle with him and laying it across his stomach. While the cramps had thankfully stopped his stomach still felt uncomfortable and almost sore to the touch. He lay there, awake, thinking about everything that he had come across in the box earlier and how he had reacted to them. He thought about how he had become upset again in front of Mike, and how that was getting a little too frequent lately and then he thought of something else, something that greatly bothered him. He thought about how he had turned away from Mike earlier, mainly due to pain and embarrassment but he thought about how Mike had left with Gerry shortly after that! Had he been offended by Steve's gesture? Steve began to worry. The last thing he ever wanted to do was to offend Mike but he had just become tired of appearing weak in front of the man he so greatly admired and thought so much of! He hoped that Mike realized that's all it was but it didn't stop him worrying!

Before he had time to think about it anymore the living room door opened and Betty came back in. Seeing Steve awake she felt guilty that the phone had more than likely been responsible, so sitting back down in the chair beside Steve she laid a hand on his shoulder gently and spoke apologetically.

"I'm sorry Steve! Did the phone wake you? It was my daughter. She tends to ring at around this time on a Monday because it's my day off. I should have remembered! "

"That's ok. I'm probably the reason you didn't remember!"

"How's your stomach now? Is it still cramping?"

"No ... it's eased up ... The awful cramps are gone but ... it's still very sore. Mrs Palmer? "

"Call me Betty please! Remember?"

"Ok, sorry ... Betty? Are Gerry and Mike back yet?"

"No, not yet! They've only been gone an hour! Why? Was there something you needed Mike for?" Betty asked curious about what was disturbing the young man in front of her.

"No, no! I just wondered ..." Steve answered but there was something about him that seemed uneasy to Betty's trained medical eye and she waited a few seconds before replying.

"Steve?..Do you want to talk about it?"

Steve was slightly taken aback by Betty's question but then realized that he should have been more careful as he remembered that Betty was almost as perceptive as Mike was where his feelings were concerned. Not sure if he was ready to open up to anyone else yet he stalled instead.

"About what? ... " but even as the words left his lips he looked away sheepishly not feeling up to keeping up a charade for very long.

Betty smiled and she squeezed his shoulder affectionately.

"About whatever's bothering you! I can tell that something is! I sensed it earlier when you weren't feeling well. Your pain doesn't seem all physical Steve! I know I'm a relative stranger to you but sometimes ... it's easier to talk to a stranger than someone who's very close to us! And I'm also a really good listener !"

Steve turned back and looked at Betty in a sideways glance. He felt his mouth go dry as he tried to figure out if he should open up to her or not. She had been very good to him ... and she had taken him into her home when she really didn't have to. She could have insisted that they take him to the hospital instead so in that moment Steve felt that he owed her something and right now honesty was all he had to offer so he spoke very quietly and somewhat nervously.

"I'm not really sure how to explain it. It's like ... up to last Wednesday my life was ok and everything was normal and then after I dived in the Bay and rescued that lady and her little girl everything has been slowly falling apart ever since ..."

Betty looked sympathetically at Steve. She knew it had taken a lot for him to even decide to talk to her at all and she was proud of him for doing something that she also sensed was so alien to the young man.

"How do you mean falling apart ? ..." she asked as she attempted to draw him out cautiously and slowly.

"I keep ... getting upset in front of Mike! I'm not coping with things like I used to ... I don't feel like ... me ... at the minute! That sounds crazy huh?"

"No, no that doesn't sound crazy at all! Have you told Mike that?"

"I think he's noticed somehow! I'm acting different and he's never seen me like this before ..." Then pondering on it he added " No-one has! Except my ... Grandfather!"

Steve looked lost in his own realizations and Betty couldn't help but answer.

"Oh! Now I see! Raised to be a little soldier huh?"

Steve looked at Betty confused by her statement. She blushed and hurried to explain what she meant.

"Oh I'm sorry! It was just something my mother used to say. When I had Mark she always warned me "Don't raise him to be a little soldier!" You see soldiers aren't supposed to cry or be upset. They're taught to be brave and courageous and anything other than that is seen as a weakness, something to be despised and that's why I think you feel like you can't be upset around Mike! But something tells me it wasn't your Grandfather who taught you to be like that. It was someone else. Am I right Steve? Did someone else teach you not to show your true feelings?"

Steve almost gasped at her insight. She was right! Henry didn't condone upset in boys. He hardened Mikey long before Steve came to live there and while Robbie seemed to resist it more he still bore the scars of a life lived behind a mask. And he hadn't really considered it before but yes! Living there was like a barracks at times and if you showed upset Henry picked up on it! He would humiliate you for it and make you feel the lowest of the low! But how could Betty know all that! Not even Mike knew that! He looked at her in amazement, and cursed the fact that merely talking about all this again was making him feel upset.

Before he had a chance to form the words to question her insight, Betty continued, but she wasn't looking at Steve anymore. Steve noticed that she was now staring at nothing in particular seemingly lost in memories of her own.

"You're a police officer Steve ! You see things everyday that are painful and upsetting and yet you admitted that Mike rarely if ever, sees you upset. You most probably bottle it all up and when you get home and you're all by yourself you think only the four walls can see your true pain! But you can't hide that from people who truly care about you, Steve! Not with all the masks and smiles in the whole world!"

Betty broke from her trance and looked back at Steve, suddenly aware that she had rambled on more than she had intended to. She saw Steve staring at her strangely, a glint of moisture visible in his eyes and his breaths coming a little faster than before. He seemed shocked that she had gleaned so much from their short time of knowing each other and it was starting to freak him out a little!

"You're wondering how I know all that , aren't you?"

Steve nodded and smiled nervously ...

"It had crossed my mind ... yeah!"

"Well Steve, I know because ... I married someone who was raised not to show upset!"

Steve gasped as he suddenly realized how she knew such personal things about him. Stammering, without intending to, he asked ...

"Gerry?"

Betty nodded sadly.

"Yes ... Actually you remind me of him a lot! He did like you did. Bottled everything up. Never let me know how he was feeling just like you probably do everyday with Mike. He'd come home from work every day, smiling and joking and when I'd ask him how his day was he'd tell me it was mostly boring reports. He ... didn't think I heard him crying behind the locked bathroom door or ... his nightmares or the awful things he said in his sleep! It nearly broke him Steve! Don't let that happen to you!"

Steve was shocked and upset and yet strangely touched that she felt able to trust him enough to reveal such personal struggles to him. Not knowing quite what to say as he realized how like Gerry he actually was! He thought of times when he had waved goodbye to Mike and closed his front door and slid down onto the floor and let his feelings out when there were no eyes to see or judge! Feeling the upset rise in his throat he felt he had to ask.

"What happened that fixed it? I mean Gerry seems alright now!"

"Oh yes! He's fine now. And to answer your question. Mike happened! He saw through Gerry's mask. He saw what I saw and one day after talking to me, he confronted him. He told him he needed a change. He told him he'd seen too many burnt out cops, turning to alcohol or gambling and ruining their lives, losing their wives and families. He told him he wouldn't let that happen to Gerry. He got him to open up. He made him get help and at the end of it all, we ended up here and things have been wonderful ever since. We owe it all to Mike! So you see Steve, you're not hiding anything from Mike. He knows, he sees things that most people don't ! He wants to help you just like he did Gerry. Just like I'd say he's helped many more before too. Mike is a rare gift, a true friend and he doesn't judge you for being upset! He knows that it takes a stronger man to admit defeat, to show your true feelings, to confess when you need help! There lies the true measure of a man Steve! To show strength even through weakness! "

Betty stopped, realizing that perhaps she had said too much. Overcome in the moment she hoped that what she had said to Steve had made sense and not sounded like an over bearing lecture! She blushed slightly, but having gone through what she had with Gerry all those years ago, the pain was still as raw as ever and she didn't want to see this fine young man end up in the same bad way. Perhaps it wasn't too late for Steve! And if her words and her experience helped him to cope then she was happy to share them with him!

Steve was totally floored by Betty's revelations. Gerry seemed so grounded, so content! To think that he had been some emotional mess just like Steve felt he was now, was hard to comprehend but he guessed that it definitely tied in to things that all three friends had mentioned over the last few days. He was still unsure of what to say but he tried none the less.

"Man! That must have been tough for you both!"

"Yes, Steve! It was! It's always hard to see someone you love and care about suffering and seeing them shutting you out and not letting you help them. That's why I told you. Don't make the same mistakes he did! Don't ever keep in how you're feeling!"

Steve swallowed hard and stayed looking at Betty. He felt he understood what Gerry had gone through. He wondered if Gerry had somebody negative from his past that had made him feel like Steve had at the mercy of his uncle Henry, unable to share his true feelings but he felt somehow that he had to partially defend Gerry on one point that Betty had mentioned. Licking his dry lips he spoke quietly and shakily.

"Betty ... Gerry wasn't trying to shut you out intentionally. He ... just didn't probably know how to put into words ... how he was feeling. He probably ... didn't want to seem weak or a burden ..."

Steve trailed off as he felt his defense had been sufficient but Betty smiled as she felt in her heart that the young man was speaking from personal experience. Squeezing his shoulder one more time she spoke kindly.

" Is that why you shut out Mike sometimes, Steve? Can't you find the right words? Are you afraid he'll think you're weak or too much trouble? Is it Steve ? Is that why?"

Steve knew he'd shown his hand by defending Gerry and he admired the older woman for managing to worm that information from him, something not even Mike with all his guile and experience had ever been fully able to do. He shook his head admiringly feeling unable to refute the evidence that he had hung himself with, so he decided the truth was already out there.

"Yeah ... I guess that's most of it! "

"Oh Steve! Mike would never think that! You have to believe that! And sometimes it's ok not to be able to find the words. Sometimes you don't need many words. You just need two !"

Steve looked puzzled at Betty trying to work out what two words she meant. Giving up, he cast a curious glance in her direction and as she caught it and realized that he didn't understand, she spoke them.

" Help ... me!"

Steve nodded and almost felt himself breaking apart inside. They were the words he had shouted in his mind for all the years he had stayed under Uncle Henry's roof but there had been no-one who he had trusted enough to utter them to. Betty was right! Mike was there for him now and would be only too willing to but whether he could ever get those words to cross his lips was another matter entirely. He slumped heavily against the pillows, physically worn out and emotionally drained. Betty noticed and decided that she had given him enough to think about for the minute. Rest was what he needed now! So she suddenly changed the conversation.

"You know, there's a good black and white movie coming on in just a few minutes on Channel eight. Would you care to watch it with me Steve?"

Glad of the change of topic and the opportunity it would afford him to not have to converse for a while he nodded and smiled at Betty.

"Sure, why not?"

And as she turned on the television and the movie came on, Steve lay back and watched the screen, as they watched it in silence together.

Meanwhile back at Tuolumne River Regional Park, Mike and Gerry had arrived at the car park. They had spent the rest of the journey reminiscing about old times and chatting about this and that, mostly sport but while Steve hadn't been mentioned again, he was never very far from Mike's mind. They made their way to the campsite and between them they disassembled the tent and rolled up the sleeping bags. Finally when the campsite was cleared, just as they had found it and all their gear had been stowed back in the car, Gerry turned to Mike.

"Ok, follow me back to the house Mike and then I had better head back to work."

"No Gerry! There's no need for that! I know my way back to your house ok. You head back to work now. I've delayed you enough! But thanks again for organizing all this for us! I'm just sorry it all didn't work out quite as I had planned it!"

"Never mind Mike! You know you're always welcome to come back and use the campsite anytime you like. All you have to do is call me!"

"Thanks Gerry! I might take you up on the fishing part but I think my camping days are behind me somehow!" Mike said stretching his lower back and chuckling.

Gerry laughed too.

"Sensible man! Ok, tell Betty I should be home for six and that we'll get a take away for dinner tonight. Save her cooking. See you later Mike!"

"Ok, will do! See you!"

Gerry got in his car and drove away and Mike got into his car and took off after him. He remembered the way back to the house and pulled into the driveway. Walking up to the front door he found himself getting anxious again. He really hoped that Steve was feeling better. He rang the doorbell and didn't have to wait long as the door opened and Betty opened it, smiling.

"Did you get everything ok?" she asked.

"Yes, all done. Gerry said to tell you he'll be home for six and that he'd get a take away to save you cooking later. How's Steve?" Mike said as he removed his coat and fedora and hung them up.

Betty saw the worry on the older man's face and answered quickly.

"He's fine Mike! Much better! We were just watching a movie. He's just still not drinking as much as I'd like him too. You seem to have more success at getting him to drink so I'll leave that up to you if that's ok?"

"Sure, you leave that to me! I'm glad he's ok!"

Mike followed Betty into the living room and saw Steve half sitting up on the couch but resting back against the pillows. He seemed to be staring at the television but when the door opened he looked over and seeing Mike he smiled.

"You're back!"

"I'm just going to make us all some tea. I won't be long!" Betty announced making her way into the kitchen but she really felt that Mike and Steve needed some time alone too.

Mike made his way over and sat in the armchair beside the couch that Betty had recently vacated. Looking at the television that Steve seemed so engrossed in he asked.

"What are you watching buddy boy?"

"Just an old movie."

"What's it about? I don't think I remember this one!" Mike asked trying to make idle conversation, not liking how quiet and pensive the young man seemed to be.

Steve shifted position a little, taken aback by Mike's question. He hadn't really been watching the movie at all. His mind was racing too much and he had too many other things on his mind. He had merely been staring at the screen while he tried to figure out things in his head, glad of the excuse to stay quiet. However now he was about to be found out, so he flustered a little.

"It was ... about ... the war!" was all Steve managed to think of saying and when he didn't elaborate further, Mike smiled broadly, his first impression confirmed, that Steve hadn't really been watching it at all.

"That riveting huh?" Mike added and Steve knowing he'd been found out couldn't help but smile back.

"Yeah, kind of. But don't tell on me ok?"

Mike laughed.

"Don't worry! Your secret's safe with me! ... You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm ok. ... Listen Mike! About earlier ... I'm sorry ..." Steve stammered not really catching Mike's eye, feeling slightly ashamed for shutting Mike out earlier, especially after his conversation with Betty.

"What are you sorry for this time? Huh buddy boy?"

"I kind of ... shut you out a little earlier. But ... I was just tired and sore and ..." Steve was finding it hard to put into words again so he stopped mid sentence and looked at Mike, hoping his look would speak better of what he was trying to say.

Mike smiled at him and seemed to understand.

"That's alright buddy boy! It's ok! We all have times like that when we just need to be left alone for a while! I understand. But tell me something will you?"

Steve looked at Mike both curiously and nervously wondering what he was going to ask and also, depending what it was, whether he would be able to answer or not!

"What?" he asked tentatively.

"Why do you always do that Steve?"

Steve smiled. "Do what Mike?"

"Apologize for everything! You know the only thing you don't apologize for is breathing!" Mike said teasingly, ruffling Steve's hair at the same time.

"I don't apologize for everything! " Steve answered defensively.

"Yes you do buddy boy! But since last Wednesday you're doing it all the time! Did you ... spend your time apologizing in ... Henry's house? Is that how you got that habit?" Mike asked hoping he wasn't pushing Steve too much but curious none the less.

Steve looked away as he heard that name mentioned again, kind of wishing that Mike wouldn't keep bringing it up but he remembered Betty's conversation again and knew he really should answer honestly.

"I don't know ... I guess I never thought about it but ... yeah maybe! I probably did my fair share of being sorry in that house! Maybe it did become a bad habit! ..."

Appreciating and admiring his partner's honesty he reached out and squeezed Steve's shoulder.

"Well, you don't have to always apologize to me ok?"

Steve's smiled up at Mike.

"Ok ..."

With that the door opened and Betty arrived with a tray of tea and biscuits and set it down on the coffee table. Looking up she saw the end titles going up on the movie.

"Oh, I missed the end. What happened Steve?"

Mike saw Steve's face fall and answered in his place.

"Oh, I'm sorry Betty, I was talking to him. I guess I distracted him. He didn't see the end! "

"Oh never mind! I'm sure it will be on again. Now who takes sugar ?"she said as she busied herself, pouring the tea.

Mike looked back at Steve and winked and Steve looked gratefully at him for rescuing him. Then turning back to Betty, Mike spoke again.

"None for me please! I'm sweet enough! But he takes quite a few ! Don't you buddy boy?" Mike teased again jokingly as Steve shook his head and chuckled at the joke of how many horribly sweet cups of Mike's tea and coffee he had endured since leaving the hospital back in San Francisco.

The next half hour was spent pleasantly in the company of the three friends. They drank tea and ate biscuits and Mike asked Betty more about her new Grandsons. Steve hadn't eaten anything or in fact said much but merely lay back and listened to the conversation. Mike and Betty never pushed him to talk both knowing that right now he just wasn't in the mood for talking but Mike made sure he kept handing him the cup of tea to drink and despite Steve's frequent protests he managed to get two cups into the young man. As the empty second cup was returned to the tray Betty smiled at Mike, knowing that she had figured right! If anyone could get Steve to drink more it was Mike!

At four thirty the doorbell rang and Betty went to answer it. Mike looked at Steve who was now staring again at the television intently. The advertisement that was on the screen was all about gardening equipment and so Mike knew he wasn't watching that anymore than he was the previous movie. He was however starting to become concerned about Steve's sudden quietness since opening the box of memories earlier. While Steve always had times even back in San Francisco where he would be quiet and withdrawn, this time was different. There was an innate sadness to this silence, almost a sense of depression! In that moment he made a mental note to call Lenny the next time Steve dozed off to ask his advice!

Before he had time to study his partner anymore Mike heard approaching voices in the hall and the door opened and Dr. Dan Fogarty appeared followed by Betty. When Steve turned and saw the new visitor in the room, Mike was sure he heard a barely audible groan escape Steve's lips. He couldn't help but smile at Steve's facial expression. It was one of dread that quickly was masked with a smile as the young Doctor came closer.

"Well, good afternoon Steve! You look a lot better than you did yesterday! Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. It was a hectic morning in the clinic! So, how are you feeling today? Betty said you were having bad cramps this morning! Have you still got them?" he asked kneeling beside Steve and removing the light blanket that was covering Steve.

"No, they're gone. I feel a lot better thanks ..."

Betty and Mike exchanged an exasperated look between them and Mike rolled his eyes to heaven as Steve blatantly lied to the young Doctor but Mike could see by the doctor's expression that he wasn't buying the ok act so he was at least grateful for that! The doctor removed the hot water bottle and spoke to Betty,

"Heat was a good idea! It should ease any cramps or discomfort he has!" then turning back to Steve he spoke again.

"Well, Steve , the water you swallowed last week was pretty toxic from your blood results. There was at least two strains of bacteria detected. Now the antibiotics will clear them but you're not going to feel better that fast! Let's check your stomach shall we?"

Dr. Dan Fogarty took a pair of medical gloves from his bag and proceeded to put them on. Steve's face fell as he knew this particular exam would mean pressing on his stomach, knowing that it was already very sore and tender even to touch and knowing that Mike and Betty were still present and observing, he really didn't want them to see how sore it really was. Covering his stomach with his good hand protectively he flustered.

"Is that necessary? I mean you know there's an infection right? And you're treating it right? So why do you need to check it huh?"

Steve's sudden reluctance for the Doctor to press on his stomach, sent another concerned glance between Betty and Mike. The Doctor too, made his own conclusions.

"I'm afraid I have to check it Steve ! It's routine for a stomach infection like the one you have. But don't worry, it's just a quick exam. It won't take long. Is there a reason why you don't want me to check it?"

Betty and Mike both waited for the answer that Steve would give to the Doctor's question and seeing all three people staring at him made him even more uneasy.

"No ... of course not!" he protested a little too vehemently and pulling up his shirt he continued "Go ahead!"

He knew this exam was going to be a painful one so he braced himself and tightened his whole abdomen in anticipation. A move that was not lost on Dr. Fogarty who by now was observing Steve's nervous demeanor and saw his muscles tighten. Starting to wonder how much pain his patient was actually in and not admitting to, he placed a hand on Steve's shoulder in an effort to calm his nerves.

"Try to relax Steve! I won't press hard ... Ok?"

Steve nodded gratefully but didn't unclench his stomach muscles. As the Doctor probed gently, Steve winced but didn't let out the groan that he wanted to. While the Doctor's ministrations were as promised gentle, they were still causing him great discomfort and pain and as Dr. Fogarty noticed the cold sweat breaking out on his patient's forehead he finished the exam and pulled Steve's shirt back into place. He gave Steve a knowing look, leaving him in no doubt that he knew the exam had been a painful one for Steve despite his brave attempts to hide it.

"Ok, well let's continue the antibiotics. You're going to have to take them for at least five days but we may continue them for longer if there isn't a vast improvement by then."

Then turning back to Betty he spoke again.

"Keep his diet very light, nothing too heavy to eat and just make sure for now that he keeps his fluid intake high to avoid dehydration. Also give him regular painkillers!" Then turning to cast a discerning eye back at his patient he added." ... even if he says he doesn't need them!"

Steve blushed and looked away knowing he had been suitably chastised for his failure to admit his level of discomfort. The doctor then took his other vital signs and lastly took a look at Steve's hand. Betty explained how the vein had blown and how the swelling had been quite bad initially but had improved once the needle had been removed. The Doctor rebandaged it and agreed with Betty that he should try to not use it for another day just to give the wound time to heal but overall he wasn't concerned about it. As he finished his exam, Betty asked him if he would like some coffee and having answered that he would love some she told him to follow her to the kitchen to get some.

With Mike and Steve alone again, Mike could see that Steve was still squirming a little after the stomach exam.

"That smarted huh? Do you want me to heat up that hot water bottle again? It's probably cold by now."

"Yeah .. thanks that would be great!" Steve said still breathing a little faster than normal and trying to get himself into a more comfortable position where his stomach wouldn't hurt as much but failing miserably.

Mike took the hot water bottle and headed for the kitchen returning just minutes later with it reheated and frowned as he saw Steve looking so uncomfortable. Then remembering how turning on his side had seemed to help the young man earlier he ventured.

"Steve! Why don't you turn on your side! See if that helps ok?"

Steve at this stage of discomfort was only too willing to try any suggestion so with Mike's help he turned on his left side facing Mike, careful not to jar his sore hand and he curled up almost automatically. Mike placed the hot water bottle against his stomach and Steve held it there with his good hand. Then lastly Mike covered him up again with the blanket as the heat and the change of position seemed to help. After a few minutes Steve seemed to relax a little and his breathing normalized.

"Is it any better now buddy boy?"

"Yeah ... thanks! The heat really helps and you're right! It's easier lying on my side!"

Looking towards the kitchen to see if there was any sign of the Doctor or Betty returning yet and seeing none he sat down in the armchair and spoke quietly to Steve.

"You should have said that your stomach was hurting that bad Steve! I want you to tell me when you're in pain from now on. Ok? Now I mean it buddy boy! No more secrets! Promise me now!"

"Ok, I promise ... but it really wasn't that bad until he kept pressing on it Mike! Honest!"

"Ok, I believe you! That's Doctors for you! Always making you feel worse before you they make you feel better, huh?"

Steve chuckled at that but regretted it as his stomach protested.

"Just don't tell him I said that. Ok?" Mike whispered even more quietly.

Steve laughed again and regretted it.

"Ok ... oh, stop making me laugh ..."

"Ok, sorry! Say Steve, there's something I wanted to ask you about ... something that's been bothering me. That's if ... you're feeling up to it ?"

Steve felt another sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach and this time it wasn't the Doctor's fault! He just knew that Mike was going to ask about Henry again and he was getting tired of Mike bringing him up constantly but he knew that Mike wouldn't let the subject drop that easily. Groaning this time not out of pain but from anticipation of what Mike was about to ask, he answered somewhat frustratedly.

"Mike if this is about Henry again, I really don't want to talk about him now ... please!"

Mike heard the almost pleading in Steve's voice but what he wanted to ask had nothing to do with Steve so he continued.

"I know, I know buddy boy. It has something to do with Henry but I promise it has nothing to do with you. I ... well I just wanted to ask you if Henry always spoke badly about your Dad?"

"My Dad?" Steve asked taken aback by the different line of questioning. "Why do you ask that? What's my Dad got to do with anything?"

"Just humour me will you? Well, did he?"

Steve seemed to be thinking but then he answered.

"Yeah ... yeah I guess he did bad mouth him a lot but I always figured that was him just trying to ..." Steve stopped himself before he continued but Mike was already a step ahead of the young man.

" ... upset you?"

Steve sighed and nodded. "Yeah, that's what I always thought ... What are you getting at?"

"Ok well, bear with me! Because you see I don't think that was the reason he talked bad about your Dad. I have a feeling your Dad didn't get on well with Henry. I know you were only five but ... do you remember Henry ever being at your house when you were still with your Mom and Dad?"

Steve seemed lost in his thoughts for a moment and then he looked at Mike as something just dawned on him.

"Hey, you know you might have something there! No, I don't remember him ever being at the house. It was always Rose and the kids. We went to theirs a couple of times but I don't remember any tension between them but now that you say it, you know he was never at Harry's either. But then Harry didn't have a good word to say about him so I don't think he ever felt welcome! "

"That's what I thought! " Mike said triumphantly slapping his knee. "I don't think you were ever the target buddy boy!"

"Target? What do you mean?"

"Well, I still have to prove my theory but I think the reason Henry treated you so badly had nothing to do with you buddy boy!"

"Mike, you know maybe these painkillers are slowing my brain down a little but are you saying that Henry was horrible to me because he hated my father?"

"I think it's very possible. He couldn't get even with your Dad so he took his revenge on the next best option ... his son!"

Steve sighed heavily as Mike's theory sunk in. Then after several seconds thinking about it he spoke again.

"Well, even if you're right, there's no one left that can corroborate that Mike!"

A strange look came into Mike's eye and Steve didn't like it one bit. He'd seen that look too many times before and it almost always meant trouble. For a change, Steve read Mike's mind and instantly moved to sit up, becoming agitated as he did.

"NO! Mike don't you even consider that! Do you hear me? You stay the hell away from Henry! I mean it Mike! This is not your battle and I'm begging you not to interfere! Please Mike! NO!"


	25. Chapter 25

**Going Home**

** A/N Continued heartfelt thanks to all those who are still following, reading and reviewing this story. Your kind words mean an awful lot to me and I really do appreciate those who take the time to tell me what you think! You have my sincerest gratitude. **

**Here is chapter 25 in which my muse is being cruel to Steve again and Mike has a chance encounter with someone! I promise I will stop whumping Steve soon and let him recover!... ;-)  
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Chapter 25

Mike jumped from his seat and rushed forward as Steve had raised himself up and made his protest about Mike ever going to see Henry. The protest had been ill-advised as the sudden movement had caused Steve's stomach to go into spasm and after his heartfelt plea he had practically doubled over clutching at his sore stomach and breathing in gasps. Mike became alarmed and attempted to calm the young man down, feeling guilty that he might have caused this latest bout of suffering.

"Ok, ok, Steve! Take it easy! Lie back down! Try to relax!"

The hot water bottle had fallen on the floor during his attempt to get up so having laid him back down, Mike retrieved it and placed it back against Steve's stomach but Steve was almost white in the face and knew he was in trouble! He could barely speak with the spasms of pain that were tearing through his poor stomach in waves and in desperation he spoke in broken gasps.

"Mike ... get ... the ... Doctor ..."

That was all he managed to say as another particularly bad spasm took hold and he shut his eyes tight and almost held his breath to ride out the wave of pain. Mike wasted no time and shouted loudly.

"DR. FOGARTY! BETTY !"

Now Mike was beside himself with worry. The fact that Steve wanted the Doctor was never a good sign. It was also an indication of how bad he was feeling and how bad the pain was! Thankfully within seconds, the Doctor and Betty raced from the kitchen looking startled by Mike's panicked shout. Seeing Steve writhing in agony, Dr. Fogarty raced to his patient and knelt down beside him.

"Dear God! What happened?" he turned and asked Mike as he attended to Steve.

"He tried to sit up and ... the next thing I knew he was like that and asking for you! He said his stomach was hurting after the exam!"

The Doctor looked at Mike with concern in his eyes briefly and then turned back to Steve.

"Steve! How bad is the pain? "

"Very ... " was all he could say and the Doctor could see he was holding his breath with the agony he was in.

"Steve! I know you're in a lot of pain! But you must try to breathe as normally as you can! I'm going to get you something for the pain now. Ok?"

He moved slightly sideways and looked at Mike and without the need to issue verbal instructions Mike knew what he needed him to do. Kneeling back beside his partner, he started to talk soothingly to the young man, stroking his forehead as he did.

"Steve! Listen to me now! Come on look at me too! The Doctor's going to give you something for the pain but I need you to breathe slowly with me. Ok? Come on now! I know you can do it!"

"Hurts ..." was all Steve said as two green, pain and fear filled eyes opened and looked at his partner.

"I know Steve! But just breathe ... nice and slowly... That's it, in and out!"

Mike breathed purposefully and Steve bravely tried his best to do what he was asked. Steve's breaths were a little more forced and ragged than Mike's but he was managing to keep them at the same pace so Mike beamed at him proudly.

The Doctor lifted Steve's hand and placed a hand on Steve's stomach and could feel the tightness of the muscles as the spasms took hold. Steve visibly jumped even from the light touch of the Doctor's hand on his stomach which was sore to the touch. Turning to Betty, he asked.

"Betty! Is he due painkillers? "

"They're due in the next half hour but Dan! I could only give him paracetamol the last time because his stomach was so bad and he was taking them orally!"

The Doctor nodded his head as if he suddenly understood what was happening or at least Mike hoped that was what his gesture meant. He waited anxiously for the Doctor to speak while he assisted Steve at the same time.

"The paracetamol isn't strong enough Betty for an infection this bad but I understand why you gave it to him. I don't think his stomach can handle the meds orally yet either! We're going to have to find another vein to put another cannula in!"

Mike quickly glanced at Steve knowing what his reaction would be to that but thankfully, trying to breathe slower and deal with the stomach spasms was taking all his effort and attention at the minute so he hadn't seemed to even hear what the Doctor had said.

Betty looked concerned.

"Dan his veins are very bad. The hand vein is too sore and traumatized and his other arm is still badly bruised and traumatized by the hospital IV back in San Francisco!" she spoke urgently, dreading where he would find a vein that wasn't totally traumatic to use!

"What about his left arm? Have you checked that?"

"Yes! I couldn't find a viable one and Mike said they had trouble finding one there back in San Francisco General too!"

Dan Fogarty pulled up Steve's left shirt sleeve and applied a tight tourniquet to the top of his arm. He pressed and poked at the crook of Steve's elbow almost praying a vein would pop up for him to use. Steve looked at where the Doctor was pressing and looked panicked at Mike. But Mike saw him panic and quickly reassured him.

"Now, now it's ok. I know you hate needles but you want to get rid of that awful pain don't you? Just let the Doctor do what he has to and everything will be ok! Concentrate on your breathing now and just keep looking at me, no matter what! You hear me? Concentrate on this handsome face of mine! " Mike added trying to lighten the serious mood and Steve in all fairness did try to smile at that line but with the pain he was in, his smile was short-lived. He did to his credit, continue to look at Mike and did try to ignore the ministrations of Dr. Fogarty.

Betty was watching Dr. Fogarty closely. He was highly skilled when it came to needles and Betty had seen him find veins, for her patients in the clinic that she had thought impossible so in this instance she was so glad that he was in attendance, and responsible for finding one now. Almost as she was thinking it, Dan looked at her and smiled.

"There is one, a very strong one but it's deep under the skin. If I can get it, we shouldn't have any more problems giving him his meds but I'll have to go in blind!"

"Blind?" Mike questioned not liking how that sounded.

Betty sought to explain.

"It just means the vein isn't visible to the naked eye so you have to insert the needle first and then move it carefully until you get the vein you want. It's harder than getting a visible one but I've seen Dan here do it at least fifty times successfully. He's good at what he does Mike! We have to trust him!"

"Don't build me up too much Betty! " Dan added smiling as he prepped the needle site with an alcohol swab. "I'm under enough pressure here! But I'm confident I can get it. Ok? Here goes! Hopefully first time lucky! Betty hold his arm steady! Mike, keep him distracted please!"

Dr. Fogarty positioned the needle and feeling very carefully for the vein that he was aiming for, he inserted it carefully and felt Steve tense up.

Steve gasped, his slow breathing temporarily forgotten as he sucked in another breath and shut his eyes tight as he felt the needle pierce his skin.

"Mike! ..." he gasped as he felt the needle moving.

"Easy now buddy boy! It's almost done!" Mike coaxed as he continued to stroke Steve's forehead soothingly.

Dan Fogarty felt the pressure as a cold sweat broke out on his forehead but he was confident that he could do it! He could feel the vein pulsing deep within Steve's arm and knew he had to trust his instincts. He moved the needle twice very slowly, the first time showed nothing but the second time he pushed it very slowly and carefully and was rewarded as red blood seeped to the surface.

"Yes! We're in!" Dan said unable to hide both the sense of triumph and relief in his voice and used his sleeve to wipe his brow.

Smiling proudly at her colleague, Betty stepped forward and helped him prep the vein and attach the cannula. Flushing it once successfully, Dan Fogarty went on to administer three shots into the arm, a strong painkiller, his next antibiotic dose and a mild sedative. Knowing what the first two were, Betty queried the third.

"What's in the third one Dan?"

"I'm giving him a mild sedative. He needs to get some rest! Now that we have a new cannula in you can still give him his meds whether he's asleep or not! But he really is exhausted. He needs a good sleep to allow his stomach time to heal!"

Mike heard them discussing the sedative and couldn't help but agree that sleep was what the young man desperately needed. His eyes were almost in the back of his head and dark circles had started to become more apparent around his eyes and with his mind racing as he had admitted to Mike that it was earlier, enforced rest was all the rest he would get for the time being.

With the new cannula in and the shots administered, all that was left was for the new cannula to be bandaged up and Betty set to work on that immediately. The Doctor continued to take Steve's vital signs and Mike continued to talk soothingly to Steve until the pain meds could take effect. After twenty minutes which felt longer to Mike, Steve visibly started to relax. Checking Steve's stomach once more, Dan noticed that the tension had eased and with Steve's breathing normalizing and his pulse and heart rate slowing, he knew that the pain meds and sedative were starting to do their job. Steve was opening and closing his eyes now, as if he was struggling to keep them open and Mike smiled at his persistence.

"Steve! The Doc here gave you something to help you get some well needed rest. Do me a favour and stop fighting it will you? Close your eyes now and let yourself drift off! Ok?"

Steve pushed his eyelids open one more time and struggled to keep them focussed. He grabbed almost blindly at Mike's sleeve with his good hand and spoke softly but with a slight slur as the drugs took effect.

"Mike ... promise me you won't try to see ... Henry! ... Please promise ... me!"

Mike felt Steve's heartfelt plea and agitation and placing his hand over Steve's he answered reassuringly.

"Now, now! I never said I was going to ... did I? So stop worrying! If it makes you feel better! I promise ok? Now will you please, do what I asked you and try to sleep buddy boy!"

Steve closed his eyes unable to keep them open a second longer and half smiled as Mike's words eased his anxiety a great deal. Then without having much choice as he felt a strange sensation washing over him and blackness settle around him, he drifted off into a drug induced sleep. The hand that had gripped Mike's sleeve went limp and fell against the side of the couch and Steve finally appeared to settle. Mike felt relief and fatigue wash over him. He hated seeing Steve in pain like that and having to suffer the needles that he knew he dreaded. And he still felt partly responsible for this latest pain filled episode as he remembered how agitated he had become at the thoughts of Mike attempting to make contact with his Uncle Henry.

Part of Mike wondered why Steve was so against the idea. Was Steve afraid that he would upset his Aunt, or was he afraid that he wouldn't be able to keep his feelings out of the way and his fists in his pocket if he did, knowing some of the awful things he had inflicted on Steve as a child! The more he thought about it he felt that he understood Steve's trepidation as he realized that he wasn't really sure himself if he would be able to avoid losing his temper if he was faced with the man who he had grown to despise as a bully and a child abuser!

A touch on his arm pulled him from his thoughts as he turned and saw Betty standing just behind him.

"Mike, he's asleep now. He's going to be out for a good few hours! I'm just going to see Dan out and I'll be right back. Ok?"

Realizing that he had been lost in his thoughts, he cleared his throat and nodded at Betty and saw Dr. Fogarty standing just behind her. Standing up quickly he reached out and shook the Doctor's hand.

"I can't tell you how glad I am that you were here when that happened! Thanks for looking after him so well. But I must admit I am a little worried. He seems to be getting worse instead of better! Should his stomach be as sore as it is?"

"With an infection like Steve has, it can get a little worse before it gets better. It's just the bacteria fighting against the antibiotics. We should see a marked improvement by tomorrow though! Betty here will keep me posted."

"Doc, we were supposed to be heading home tomorrow evening because he was supposed to be back to work Wednesday morning! I take it that's not going to be happening? "

"Definitely not! He won't be able for work until next Monday at the earliest and I wouldn't rush him into a long car journey too soon either. If I were you I'd wait until at least Thursday or Friday before you consider taking him back to San Francisco."

"Ok, thanks for the advice. I'll ring our Boss and let him know! Good evening and thanks again!"

"Glad I could help! And please try not to worry! I know that was distressing to watch but he's on better painkillers now. They should keep him more comfortable until we see an improvement."

Mike nodded and watched as Betty followed the young man out into the hall then turning he headed back towards Steve. Sitting down heavily in the arm-chair he laid his head back against the back of it and sighed heavily, the shock and worry of what had just happened evident on his face. He watched the peaceful rise and fall of Steve's chest and found it somehow calming and reassuring. With his left arm bandaged now as well as his hand, Mike couldn't help but sympathize with his partner. Reaching out and placing a hand on the back of Steve's head he quietly whispered.

"Rest easy now buddy boy. You don't have to worry about a thing! Looks like we're going to be sticking around Modesto for longer than we intended to though!"

Then he sat back and waited for Betty's return. He heard the muffled voices fade and the front door close and Betty came in sighing as she did! Walking over to Mike and Steve, she stood and seemed to be observing Steve just as Mike had moments before.

"Well, Thank God, he seems easier now! I feel awful Mike! I should have known the paracetamol wasn't strong enough, but with his stomach so bad earlier I was afraid he wouldn't tolerate anything stronger! "

"Hey, hey now. Don't go trying to blame yourself. You heard the Doc. These type of infections can get worse before they get better. You did what you thought was for the best. No-one is going to blame you for that! The main thing is that he's resting now and that awful pain has eased."

Mike looked at Betty and noticed how tired she looked. He was feeling very tired himself and Betty had been up a good bit last night taking care of Steve too. So he had an idea!

"Say! Why don't I go and get us a take away dinner now and it will save Gerry having to go out again when he gets home! What do you think? Huh? You look as tired as I feel. It was a rough night last night and well ... it will be my treat!" Mike said looking at his watch and seeing that it was just gone five thirty-five pm.

"Ok, thanks Mike! That would be lovely! " Betty said smiling.

Mike asked Betty what take out they normally got and Betty gave him directions to a Chinese take away in Modesto that they used on occasion. She wrote down the order and when Mike had picked what he wanted she also asked him to get some light chicken broth too for Steve as it would be light and yet nutritious. Satisfied that he knew where he was heading he fetched his coat and hat and returning to look at Steve one last time he smiled at Betty and told her he wouldn't be long. As Betty saw him out she placed a hand on his arm.

"Don't worry, I'll keep a close eye on him while you're gone ... that's if you still trust me to?" Betty said sadly.

"Betty, I wouldn't trust him with anyone else!"

Betty smiled and watched as he got into his car and drove off waving as he did.

Then closing the door she returned to where Steve was sleeping. She tidied up the various used medical supplies that were still lying around and when everything was tidied up she sat down in the chair beside him and sighed heavily. She was feeling bad that Steve had been under her care when he took a turn for the worst. She was also kicking herself for not realizing that he needed a stronger painkiller. After sitting for several minutes and satisfying herself that he was indeed peaceful and comfortable, she went to set the table in the dining room so that they could eat where they could keep an eye on Steve again.

Mike drove where Betty had showed him and sure enough there was the restaurant just as she had said. Parking the car he went in and gave the take out order. The place seemed very busy and the young lady behind the counter told him that the order would take at least twenty minutes. Thanking the young lady, Mike went to take a seat to wait by the window but as he went to sit down he looked across the street and saw a large church. Something about the church seemed to call to him and he suddenly felt the need to go over there. Knowing that he had twenty minutes to spare and also realizing that he had missed Sunday mass yesterday, Mike walked back to the young lady at the counter, paid her and told her that he had a small message to do and that he would be back to collect the order shortly. Then exiting the restaurant he crossed the street and went up the many steps to the church.

As he entered the main body of the church he saw a good few people who seemed to be cleaning it. Some were polishing and one woman was arranging flowers up at the altar. Mike walked up the main aisle until he was close to the altar. Blessing himself and genuflecting before the altar he then went into a pew on the left and knelt down. He closed his eyes and joined his hands and proceeded to say a few prayers, mostly for Steve and for a speedy recovery for his partner. Then after around ten minutes he decided to light a candle too. So leaving his seat he walked over and lit a candle and sat back down again.

As he did, the group of people at the front of the church seemed to gather together having finished their work and although they were talking quietly, Mike couldn't help but overhear their conversation. The two ladies on the left seemed to be comforting the one on the right who had been flower arranging. They were sympathizing with her about something and as they said their goodbyes, one of them said.

"Try not to worry Rose! See you next week at the same time!"

Mike's head whipped up at the mention of the name but then he scolded himself for being silly. There must a hundred women named Rose in Modesto! What were the chances of meeting Steve's Aunt in a church in Modesto so randomly? Not very high he reckoned. So he dismissed the idea and returned to his prayers. A priest came out of the door at the back of the altar and called to the woman named Rose who had started to walk down towards the back of the church. She was carrying the rest of the leftover flowers in her arms.

"Rose! Have you a minute please?"

The lady turned and walked back up the aisle towards the older priest and while they were still talking quietly, with the silence in the church, Mike could still make out part of the conversation.

"Rose ... how's Henry?"

Mike swallowed hard knowing the odds had just been lowered in his favour! Looking towards the statue on the altar he smiled as if he had been called here for a reason. Under his breath he muttered.

"Boy, you do work in mysterious ways, God!"

He wondered if he should approach her before she left the church and started to think about what he would say if he did. After all he had promised Steve that he wouldn't go to see Henry but he hadn't made the same promise about Rose! And truthfully he hadn't sought her out but had met her purely by accident or perhaps by divine intervention. He kept a close eye on the two people who stood off to the side of where he was sitting.

"Not so good Father!" the woman replied and seemed to get upset. Placing an arm around her shoulders the priest seemed to try to comfort her. Seeing that they were both engrossed in their conversation, Mike took the opportunity to slide himself further along the wooden seat until he was within earshot of the two people he was curious about.

"I presume he hasn't taken it too well then?" the priest asked the now sobbing lady.

"No! It's killing him Father. He refuses to see the Doctor and he's getting sicker by the day. I don't know what to do anymore Father!"

"Now, now my child. Things will work themselves out. They always do. What if I were to go to visit him at the house, huh? Perhaps he'd listen to me?"

"Oh Father! That would be so good of you! But you know Henry ... he's stubborn Father. I don't know if he'd make you welcome or not!"

"Now, you leave that to me, ok Rose? I know what he's like alright and he knows I don't scare off as easy as some do! I'll call over tomorrow after morning mass ok? Now in the meantime you take care of yourself and try not to worry. You're doing everything you can for that family of yours. Be proud Rose and know that God will help you. Bless you Rose and I'll see you tomorrow!"

On hearing this part of the conversation , Mike was sure he had the right Rose alright!

"Thank you Father!" Rose answered and with that the priest returned to the room behind the altar and Rose made her way sadly and quietly down the aisle again.

Hoping he wouldn't regret his next move which was fed off pure gut instinct Mike rose quickly, blessed himself again and headed more quickly down after the retreating woman. Almost catching up with her he spoke a little louder than he had intended to.

"Excuse me Ma'am ..."

The woman wheeled around slightly startled and backed a little away from Mike trying to focus her red rimmed eyes to see if she actually knew this man who had called her. Satisfying herself that she did not, she shakily answered.

"Yes ... can I help you?"

Realizing that he had startled her by her demeanor he instantly apologized.

"Forgive me Ma'am. I didn't mean to startle you! I ... well I couldn't help but overhear some of your conversation and well, actually I was just wondering if ... if your maiden name was Rose Keller?"

There he had said it! And there was no going back now! He watched as she startled even more, dropping the flowers she bad been carrying at the unexpected mention of her maiden name!

Mike quickly bent down to help her pick them up and could feel Rose's eyes studying him intensely wondering how he knew her.

"Were you ... one of Harry's friends?" Rose asked nervously.

"No, Ma'am . I'm afraid I never had the pleasure of meeting Harry. Actually my name is Mike Stone. I'm a Lieutenant with San Francisco Police Department and I work in Homicide with your nephew Steve!"

Rose gasped loudly at the mention of Steve's name and for a split second Mike thought she might pass out!

"Ma'am are you ok? "

"Oh my God! He's alright isn't he? Has something happened to him? Is he hurt?"

Realizing what Rose was thinking he kicked himself for not thinking his words out more carefully and quickly moved to reassure her.

"No, Ma'am. Steve is fine! I'm sorry if I worried you! Actually he came down to Modesto with me just this weekend for a fishing trip but well ... unfortunately he took sick and so we're staying with friends of mine on the other side of town."

"Sick? ... What do you mean sick? ... How bad is he?" Rose stammered still trying to process the news that her nephew was currently in Modesto.

"Well ... it's kind of a long story but he has a stomach infection. But he's seen a Doctor, he's on antibiotics so he'll just be laid up for a few days that's all!"

"Thank God! Has he been doing ok in San Francisco? I ... I ... haven't spoken to him for quite a while. We lost touch a little ... I've been meaning to call him ... but ... my husband hasn't been well and ... you know come to think of it I ... do remember Steve mentioning you. Mr. Stone wasn't it?"

"Yes, that's right!"

"You're his partner aren't you?"

Mike nodded.

"Yes! He told me lots about you! He said you were very good to him! He mentioned your daughter too! Emmmm ... Joan. No Jeannie! Yes Jeannie, that was the name. He said that you both have him round for dinner quite a bit and that you look out for him!"

Mike swallowed hard, touched that Steve had spoken so highly of him and Jeannie to his Aunt.

"He said that?"

"Yes, he spoke very highly of you both the last time we spoke! Thank you Mr. Stone ... for watching out for him for us! I ... Do you think it would be possible for me to ... see him? There are things I need to ... talk to him about."

Mike recoiled somewhat knowing that Steve mightn't be too keen on such a meeting so he stalled a little.

"Well, it's just that he's quite ill at the moment! I ... don't think he's up to visitors just yet but ... maybe before we head back, we can arrange something!"

Rose sensed something from what Mike had said but hoped that she had been wrong.

"I see ... my husband would like to see him too. He hasn't been well and he's been talking about Steve and asking about him a lot lately."

Mike could feel his anger rise at that statement. The gall of the man! Probably a guilty conscience eating away at him now that he was poorly and facing his own mortality ! He desperately tried to control his anger at the man but the things he had heard over the last few days were still too fresh in his mind to be able to control his pent-up frustration.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry that your husband isn't too well ..." Mike said politely with as much false sincerity as he could muster, almost choking on his words as he really felt that anything Henry had coming to him was well deserved. " but ... I don't think Steve will want to see your husband ..."

Mike trailed off and looked away from Rose, not quite knowing how to put it into words better without alerting Steve's Aunt to what had happened all those years ago. He knew that Steve was under the impression that Rose was oblivious to what went on and even though, he himself wasn't as convinced of it, he knew that Steve wouldn't want him to say anything about it just in case and he felt bound to respect Steve's wishes in this instance whether he agreed with them or not!

But without warning, Rose swayed slightly and looked upset. Grabbing her elbow, Mike guided her to a pew and got her to sit down. From his firm grip on her arm, he could feel her trembling and wondered what had caused such a drastic reaction but he didn't have to wait long to find out! Placing a hand over her mouth she let out a muffled gasp and stammered nervously, while tears were visibly forming in her eyes.

"Oh my God! You know don't you?"

Mike was taken aback but still kept his cool until he could find out what it was she felt he knew!

"Know what Ma'am ?" he asked cautiously.

"You know about Henry and ... Steve? Don't you? He ... told you didn't he?"

Mike felt himself getting a little rattled. Again her statements were very vague.. he needed to know clearly what she meant before he answered honestly.

"You've lost me Ma'am ! Know what about Steve and your husband? If you're talking about the Thanksgiving incident, then yes he told me but I have a feeling you're not talking about that are you? You're asking me if I knew about what happened before that aren't you?"

Mike decided to show his hand and draw out a sufficient answer from the shaken lady in front of him. He had been too long interrogating suspects not to have learned to use those skills wisely in other areas of his life and this time those skills might just come in handy. At Mike's last statement, Rose gasped less audibly and tears started to flow down her cheeks. She nodded feebly and Mike's heart sank. Alarm bells went off inside his head as he began to sense that she had known about Henry's abusive behaviour towards Steve! His first thought was of his partner. He knew that Steve was very fond of his Aunt and that he believed her to be an innocent party in what happened! If she had known, it would tear Steve apart to know that she had allowed it to happen! He felt his anger return and as he stared disbelievingly at the sobbing lady in front of him, he chose his next words very carefully!


	26. Chapter 26

**Going Home **

**A/N : Apologies for the delay in updating! Finally home after a hospital stay and managed to get the next chapter finished. Thanks for the lovely reviews of my last chapter and to all those who took the time to read it. I hope my new installment doesn't disappoint !  
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Chapter 26

"Ma'am are you telling me that you knew about the suffering that your husband inflicted on Steve while he lived with you?" Mike asked trying to keep calm but feeling his temper and emotions fray as he waited anxiously for her reply.

"Oh No! You misunderstand me!" Rose stammered defensively. "I didn't know at the time ... but well ... I guess I had my suspicions but I didn't want to believe it! You must try to understand Mr. Stone! Steve was very traumatized and heartbroken after Harry's death! So I guess Henry managed to convince me ... well that he might be ... " Rose swallowed hard before continuing " ... harming himself! The poor boy had been through so much that yes Mr. Stone, I truly believed what happened was a cry for help from him!"

Mike couldn't manage to stay calm one second longer! Feeling his temper rise he barked loudly.

"Oh it was a cry for help to you alright! But not to save him from his grief! To save him from YOUR HUSBAND!"

Mike realized that his statement had come out a little louder than he had intended due to the emotions and personal involvement that he was feeling about the whole sorry mess and remembering where he was and always aware of using a quiet and respectful voice while in a Church of God he quickly lowered his tone and continued.

"Ma'am! With all due respect, didn't you spot all the tell-tale signs? How scared he was of your husband and how he probably avoided being left alone with him? You took on the responsibility of taking care and looking out for your brother and his wife's son. But as far as I can see you failed him! And he's still suffering because of it! Do you know he never tells anyone when he's hurting or sick or that he spends most of his time apologizing for everything and anything! Steve might have been traumatized over his parent's deaths and then Harry's but the biggest trauma he suffered by far was at the hands of your husband!"

As Mike's rant ended, Rose burst out crying and tears flowed down her cheeks! Mike stopped talking at this point realizing that he had perhaps been very blunt and forceful in getting his point across but all the pent-up frustration and anger he had felt towards Henry over the last few days just seemed to spill from his mouth as the opportunity to have it out with the one person he felt should have protected Steve arose. Now as his temper calmed he saw the sobbing lady in front of him and again felt almost guilty for making her cry in a church of all places! He looked at the altar briefly, and remembered how important the whole aspect of forgiveness was in his faith and felt ashamed for his outburst. After all, her biggest failing had been not opening her eyes to what was going on! The real perpetrator was Henry! He was the one who deserved a good talking to! Reaching out and patting Rose's arm he spoke more remorsefully.

"Now, now I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset you! It's just that when Steve told me what happened I ... well I guess I saw red. You should know that Steve doesn't blame you, but I just felt that ... you were the one who should have protected him, that's all."

Between her heartfelt sobs, Rose looked Mike straight in the eye and spoke.

"No! You don't have to be sorry Mr. Stone! Everything you said was true! I should have questioned it! I should have stopped it and I will regret that until the day I die but there are things you don't fully understand! "

"Well then help me understand! Because so help me God, right now I don't!"

Rose wiped at her tear filled eyes. She glanced at her watch and looked back up at Mike.

"I can't just now. I have to get home. Henry's expecting me. Could you meet me tomorrow? Please! I'll explain everything then, I promise!"

Mike sighed and he looked at the sorrowful looking woman ahead of him. He knew Steve wouldn't be happy if he found out he was meeting Rose and he hated keeping stuff from him. But at the same time he desperately wanted to know what Rose wanted to explain to him so after several seconds went by, reluctantly Mike answered.

"Ok! I'll try but I can't promise you anything! Where do you want to meet?"

"There's a diner called Sally's just across the street opposite this church. I can meet you there tomorrow at one if that's ok?"

"Alright! I'll be there!"

"Thank you !" Rose said and she wiped at her eyes once more and shook his hand. "I'll see you tomorrow then!"

Rose stood up and started down the aisle of the church. Mike looked after her and back up at the altar. He knew Steve was very fond of his Aunt and although he didn't fully understand it, Steve never blamed her for what had happened. So with Steve in mind, Mike followed her quickly. He caught up with her again as she reached the main doors.

"Hold on Ma'am ! Do you need a ride home? My car is parked just across the street!"

Rose turned around and smiled at Mike.

"That's very kind of you but my bus stop is just around the corner!"

"Please Ma'am. Let me drive you home! Steve would want me to! I just have to pick up a food order across the way. And then I can get you home in less time than the bus could! What do you say? Huh?"

Rose smiled again and appeared to be considering his kind offer. Seeing as he had agreed to meet her the next day, something she knew he needn't have agreed to, seeing how he appeared to feel about Steve's time living in their home all those years ago, she felt that agreeing to his lift would at least be an olive branch of sorts. Also she knew she was running late and that Henry would be waiting for her, so a lift would indeed be quicker at this time of the evening in rush hour so she spoke kindly.

"Ok then. Thank you. That would be very good of you!"

"Great! Well, then follow me! You can sit into the car while I pick up the food order. It should be ready by now!"

Rose and Mike crossed the street and Mike opened the car door and held the door open for Steve's Aunt to sit in. Then he headed into the restaurant. Just as he had thought,their food was bagged and ready so he thanked the young lady and headed back out and got into the car, placing the food on the floor at the front between them. He saw Rose looking at all the stuff in the back and he smiled.

"We came prepared for the weekend!" He explained smiling. "We were camping over at Tuolumne River Regional park but then Steve took sick so that's why we're staying at my friend's house instead."

Rose nodded her understanding but didn't say much more so Mike continued.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to direct me to where you live. I'm not that familiar with Modesto!"

"Oh! I'm sorry forgive me!" and with that she directed Mike to a suburban area the other side of Modesto.

It was a fairly nice looking residential area with very fancy houses compared to the country type house out where Harry had lived. Rose told Mike he could leave her at the end of the street and Mike smiled to himself. It didn't surprise him one bit as he reckoned someone with Henry's obvious temperament might get jealous easily if he were to see his wife getting out of a strange man's car and from her nervousness he reckoned he was probably at the window watching for her return, so he pulled in where she requested. Rose turned to him and smiled once more.

"Thank you Mr. Stone for the lift and for agreeing to meet me tomorrow! Steve ... is going to be alright isn't he?" she added with a distinctive worried tone to her voice.

"You're welcome and yes, he'll be fine!"

"He ... wasn't going to arrange to visit us this trip was he?"

Mike looked away momentarily and then looking back at her he decided honesty was probably the best thing in this circumstance.

"No ... I don't think so. He hasn't felt he could go back since the Thanksgiving episode and well ... I can't say I blame him quite frankly Ma'am !"

"Yes, I don't blame him either." Rose said sadly. Then reaching out and opening the door she got out and looking back in the window she added. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yes, tomorrow. Good night!" Mike answered and he watched as she walked down the street and took careful note of the house she went into.

If nothing else he knew where Henry lived now too, knowing full well, Steve wouldn't ever have readily given him that information. Although he was extremely late heading back to Gerry's house he felt that it hadn't been a total waste of his time. It was almost six forty when Mike finally pulled up outside Gerry's house and picking up the food bag he headed up the steps to the house. As he got to the front door it opened and Gerry appeared looking worried.

"Mike! We were afraid that you had gotten lost! I was just saying to Betty that I'd go out driving around to look for you! What happened? "

"Oh I'm sorry. The restaurant was very busy so while I waited for the order I just went over to the church for a while and I did get a bit waylaid on my way back. But don't worry the food's still hot!"

Betty appeared behind Gerry.

"Well at least you're here now! I was worried that my directions weren't up to scratch!"

"No Betty, your directions were perfect! I found the place with no trouble."

Gerry took the food bag off Mike.

"I'll get the food dished up Mike. We're eating in the dining room so we can keep an eye on Steve!"

With that Gerry disappeared into the kitchen with the food and Mike having removed his hat and coat and hung them up first, walked into the living room and over to where Steve was still sleeping. He looked peaceful enough but he still looked very pale. The next thing Mike noticed was a pole beside the couch and an IV infusion hanging on it and leading into Steve's cannula. He looked behind him at Betty slightly alarmed but before he could ask his question, Betty knew what he had been alarmed by and explained.

"It's ok Mike! Dan was concerned that Steve was very dehydrated and that he wasn't drinking enough so he dropped in the IV infusion and the equipment while you were out! It's just for tonight Mike don't worry!"

Mike seemed ok with that explanation and nodded at Betty. Then he turned back to look at Steve.

"He looks like he hasn't moved at all while I was out!"

"He hasn't! Dan gave him quite a strong sedative but the rest will do him good Mike! " Betty said, but something about the way he was looking at Steve worried her so she continued. "Mike are you ok?"

"Yes ... I'm ok. It's just that he can't seem to catch a break. Can he? Since last week it's been one knock after another ... "

Betty grew even more concerned.

"Mike did something happen while you were out?"

Mike stopped and looked at Betty sheepishly wondering how she could have known that. Deciding that it was best to keep his meeting with Rose to himself for now, as he wasn't quite sure if Gerry or Betty would agree with his interference in the matter, Mike shook his head and forced a smile.

"No ... nothing happened! I guess I'm just ... tired that's all. It's been a long day!"

Betty didn't fully buy his explanation for his strange mood but decided to give him the benefit of the doubt all the same.

"Yes, Mike. It has! Let's go and eat and we all might feel better! Ok? Come on Mike. He'll be fine!"

Mike nodded reluctantly and followed Betty into the dining room where Gerry had the food dished up and ready to eat. While Gerry and Betty tucked in and enjoyed the food that Mike had brought and thanked him for treating them to it, Mike didn't eat much at all. Actually, he started pushing the food around the plate just as Steve had back in his apartment a few days earlier. As he pushed it around he thought of Steve and smiled. Then just like the last time he continued to glance up every now and then to check on his sleeping partner. Betty and Gerry looked at Mike's untouched food and then looked at each other quite concerned about their good friend.

"What's the matter Mike? You don't like the food?" Gerry asked casually.

Mike looked at Gerry and smiled.

"No, no, the food's fine! I guess I'm just not very hungry that's all! Sorry! Actually I think I'll just go and sit in with Steve for a while if you don't mind?"

Betty watched Mike sympathetically, as she saw him glancing in at Steve for the fiftieth time in the last hour and exchanging one more worried glance at her husband she spoke kindly.

"That's fine Mike! Why don't I put that food in a container in the fridge and maybe you'll feel like it later ?"

"Sure! Thanks Betty. Now if you'll excuse me!" Mike said as he took his leave of the table and made his way to the armchair beside Steve and sat down wearily.

Betty and Gerry finished their food and Gerry offered to clear away the leftovers and wash up. Betty decided that it was time to get to the bottom of what ever was bothering Mike. Coming in to the living room and checking Steve first, she then turned and sat down in the armchair opposite Mike's. Mike looked at her sheepishly and smiled.

"What's wrong Mike? You've been very quiet since you came back from town. You really care about that young man don't you?"

"Is it that obvious? Yes, I do. When Helen died, well ... it was just me and Jeannie ...but that was ok. We looked out for each other you know! But when that young man came to work with me, well ... I guess we both sort of adopted him. Now he's part of the family and it almost feels like he always was! I've never had to worry about him too much. Well, I guess on the job you always worry about your partner but that's just the nature of what we do for a living but since last Wednesday, since I've learned about all the trauma he's had to deal with ... and all the pain he's had to hide, it just ... well I guess it's just got to me that's all ... he never deserved any of it Betty! ..."

Mike trailed off as his voice broke and putting a hand over his mouth he felt himself getting upset. He so wished that Steve could just catch a break and at least start to feel better and then maybe they could put this whole weekend behind them and get back to normal. Betty noticed his upset and standing up she rushed over and sat on the arm of Mike's chair and put an arm around his shoulders.

"Oh Mike! You always were a big softie! But you know I think you're underestimating that young man over there! I know he's sick at the minute and at a low ebb but I think he'll bounce back from all this quicker than you think. After all, he still has you and Jeannie and I think he knows that he has a lot to be thankful for. Give him a chance and he may surprise you! Mark my words! He's stronger than you give him credit for. From all you've told me he's had to be and that will stand to him Mike! You'll see!"

Mike put his hand on Betty's grateful for the support and all the help she had given them over the last few days. Rubbing his chin and pulling his emotions back into place he spoke.

"Yes, you're probably right Betty. I guess we'll just have to wait and hope. Oh, but as for me being a softie, don't you go spreading that around especially to Steve! I have a reputation to uphold you know?" Mike said managing a smile.

Betty laughed and patted Mike's shoulder.

"Ok, my lips are sealed! I think I'll go and make us some coffee. Would you like some?"

"Yes thanks Betty. Coffee would be nice! " and as she got up and went to leave he added." Oh and Betty, thanks for everything!"

"Anytime Mike! " she answered and then she disappeared into the kitchen.

Mike sat back in his chair and thought about his meeting with Rose tomorrow afternoon. He wondered what she could possibly say that she felt would excuse her husband's atrocious treatment of Steve. Mike knew that whatever it was it would want to be pretty special for it to make any difference to the abhorrence that Mike felt for the man. He looked at Steve and desperately hoped that Steve wouldn't be mad at him for agreeing to the meeting. For now, despite having reservations about keeping such a secret from his partner he still felt that for the moment it was best to keep it quiet until he knew fully what was going on . Then he would decide if Steve should be told or not! The last thing he wanted to do was to cause the young man any more upset than he had already had to deal with this past weekend!

The next hour went by pleasantly enough. The three friends chatted over coffee while Gerry told him about all the duties of his new job and Mike told Gerry all the news about people they used to work with. Shortly before eleven Gerry started to yawn and citing not getting any younger as a factor in his tiredness, he excused himself and said goodnight and headed up to bed. Betty tried to get Mike to go up and get some rest too insisting that she would take the first shift but Mike wouldn't hear of it. He knew that Betty was back to work in the morning and didn't want her lose any sleep. However he did ask if she could just watch Steve for twenty minutes and asked permission to make two phone calls.

"Of course Mike, go ahead! Take your time!"

Mike went out into the hall and first rang Rudy Olsen. Being a Lieutenant had its advantages as it meant that he had the Captains home phone number in his wallet. Knowing that it was so late he wasn't surprised when a rather sleepy sounding Captain Olsen answered his phone. First apologizing for the lateness of his call, he went on to explain about Steve taking ill. Rudy was horrified and told both of them to take all the time they needed. He vowed to sort it all out with the "higher-ups" as he called them first thing in the morning! He told Mike to tell Keller that he was asking for him and as Mike promised that he would, he thanked the Captain and said goodnight.

Next he called Lenny Murchison and again a rather drowsy Lenny answered the phone.

"Don't people sleep in Modesto then?" he said teasingly as Mike again apologized for the lateness of the hour. Mike went on to fill Lenny in on what had happened and Lenny too was saddened and horrified to hear of Steve's affliction.

"That was all he needed!" Lenny sighed. " How's he coping Mike?"

"Well, all in all, ok I guess. But Harry's house was tough for him and he was given some old family photographs and mementos of him and his parents from the new owner of the house! He got quite upset at those too!"

"Well, upset is good Mike! It means he's dealing with it! Just let him lead Mike! Ok? Do what he wants and don't push him anywhere he doesn't want to go! If you let him make the decisions then he'll cope better Mike! Remember that!"

Mike went on to tell Lenny about Steve's Uncle Henry and swore him to secrecy as he unfolded all the horrific incidences that Steve had recounted to him. Lenny was slightly speechless as Mike finished.

"Dear God Mike! No wonder Steve doesn't show too much of his feelings to anyone! In fact it all makes complete sense now that I know that. Steve displays classic symptoms of someone who was psychologically abused as a child. He hides his feelings, keeps everything bottled up and never let's on when he's hurting!" then fearing that perhaps he was getting too carried away again with his psycho analysis and knowing how much Mike hated that from past, bitter experience he reined himself back in and asked more casually.

"Are you worried about how he's coping Mike?"

"No ... yes ... maybe! I'm not really sure. But yes he's worrying me slightly. He's very quiet and withdrawn. It's as if his mind is racing and won't let him rest if that makes any sense at all!"

"Yes Mike, that makes perfect sense but I wouldn't worry about him being quiet so much. If you're right and his mind is racing he needs to be able to quietly mull over things and sort them out in his own head in order for to get closure on things! Just be there for him if he needs to talk things out! That's the best you can do for him Mike!"

When he had finished advising him, Mike went on to tell Lenny his theory about Steve's father and Henry and asked Lenny's professional opinion on what kind of man Henry was.

"Well, if you're asking me for a psychological profile on the guy, I would have to say that he sounds like a control freak. Someone who always has to have the upper hand. Domineering, power mad, callous and that's just for starters. Yes, it's possible that some form of jealousy or resentment for Steve's father could have led to him taking out his rage on Steve but I'd wager different Mike! From what you've told me, there has to be something deeper in his past! Something that makes him think it's ok for him to be like that! I'd wager that the answer lies in Henry's past somewhere but that's just my gut instinct!"

Mike lowered his voice for fear that Betty would overhear and went on to tell Lenny about his chance encounter with Steve's Aunt and how he was meeting her the next day where he might have more answers to their theories. Lenny slightly balked at this latest turn of events though.

"Mike, you're taking an awful risk meeting her without Steve's knowledge! If he finds out that you've met her behind his back you could be risking his trust! I'd tread very carefully on this one my friend! Steve probably won't appreciate your interference in this one! I just hope you know what you're doing!"

"I hope I do too Lenny! Listen thanks for the advice and the psychological profile of our friendly neighbourhood bully! I'll talk to you soon! Goodnight!"

"Goodnight Mike and Good luck! I think you're going to need it!"

And so the two men ended their conversation. Lenny's reaction was precisely the reason he hadn't told Gerry and Betty. All he was going to do was go and listen to what she had to say! No one had to find out and anyway what harm was there in just doing that! Mike wasn't sure who he was trying to convince but replacing the receiver on the hook he came back into the living room and saw Betty dozing in the armchair. Smiling he walked over to her and shook her shoulder gently.

"I think you need your bed Betty!" he joked and she opened her eyes and smiled at his observation.

"Did you make your calls ok?" Betty asked somewhat sleepily.

"Yes, thank you! Now you get to bed and I'll see you in the morning. Ok?"

Betty stood up and stretched.

"Ok Mike, but what about you? You need to get some sleep too!"

"Don't you worry about me now! I'll settle down in that comfy arm-chair and grab forty winks."

"Alright, if you say so. But at the very least I'm going to fetch you a blanket and a pillow!" and as Mike opened his mouth to protest that it wasn't necessary she added." Ah, ah! No arguments remember?"

"Ok! " Mike surrendered but at the same time was touched by Betty's kindness and thoughtfulness.

As Betty went to fetch the items she had mentioned Mike sat down again beside Steve but was alarmed as seconds later Steve started to groan and toss slightly in his sleep. He had seemed to go from peaceful to agitated in less that thirty seconds and as Betty reappeared carrying Mike's bedding, he quickly alerted her to the new situation.

"Betty! He's very restless all of a sudden!"

Betty rushed over, dropping the bedding into the armchair as she went. Looking at the mantel clock she then grabbed her nurses bag.

"He's due his next meds Mike. That's all it is! I'll give them to him now! And he should settle back again."

As Betty prepared the new syringes with the painkiller and the antibiotic, and temporarily disconnected the IV in order to administer them, Steve's eyes fluttered open and he looked at Mike, opening and closing them as he did, as if he couldn't keep them open for long.

"Mike ..." he slurred.

"Take it easy buddy boy! Your painkillers are just wearing off that's all. But Betty here is going to top them up now. You should feel better soon and then you should go back to sleep! Ok? You need to get rest so that your stomach can heal! "

"Mike ... my head feels strange ... I can't think straight ..." Again Steve struggled to form the words.

"I know Steve. The doctor gave you a sedative earlier to help you get some sleep! That's what's making you feel groggy! Just take it nice and easy now!"

Betty started to administer the shots and Steve winced and tensed up.

"Ok, nearly done! That's it now. Try to relax! Let Betty do what she has to to make the pain easier. Ok ?"

"Mike ... my stomach's so sore! God, ... what did I swallow in that water Mike?"

"I know, but you'll feel better tomorrow. Don't worry. Just rest now and hopefully when you wake up next time it won't be as sore! Ok? Come on! Close your eyes and let the new pain killers kick in!"

Steve did close his eyes but he still groaned a little every now and then until the strong pain killers did their job and his discomfort eased. As his breathing settled, Mike spoke again.

"Is it easier now, buddy boy?"

"Yeah ... but Mike! Can I turn onto my other side please?"

Mike looked at Betty for approval and when she nodded that it was fine, Mike helped his young partner turn around until he was facing towards the back of the couch again. Mike noticed that he curled up slightly again as if it seemed to ease his pain a little too. Within seconds of his change of position Steve drifted off into a painkiller, drugged, hazy sleep and once Betty had made sure his IV was reconnected and out of harm's way she pulled up his covers and satisfied that he was ok and that he should sleep for the rest of the night peacefully enough with the dose she had given him, she bade Mike goodnight and headed upstairs to bed.

Mike settled back into the arm-chair and placing the pillow behind him and the blanket that Betty had fetched over him, he lay back and closed his eyes too but sleep didn't come as easy for Mike. Opening his eyes again he lay back and began to wonder what tomorrow's meeting had in store for him! In that instant Mike knew it was going to be another long sleepless night for him!


End file.
